The Shock of Loss

March 15, 2024

The passing of a loved one is hard to grasp. Even if you were prepared for your loved one's passing due to a long illness, the finality of death can still feel very sudden and shocking.

The passing of a loved one is hard to grasp. Even if you were prepared for your loved one’s passing due to a long illness, the finality of death can still feel very sudden and shocking.


You may think that you should be feeling the emotions typically associated with grief such as sadness, anger, regret, or loneliness – but instead, you may feel nothing at all. Others around you may also wonder why you aren’t crying or feeling intense emotions.


You may find yourself feeling numb. You may feel like you are detached from reality or that you are living in a dream. Interactions with others may feel blurred or hazy. This is because your body is in shock and this numbness is your body’s way of protecting itself from trauma.


The shock of loss can also affect you in other ways. For example, you may have trouble sleeping at night because you find yourself constantly thinking. Or you may even forget about your loss for periods of time until someone brings it up or asks how you are doing.


You may also feel physical symptoms associated with your shock such as headaches, stomach aches, heart palpitations, jumpiness, and exhaustion.

Know that all these experiences are perfectly normal. However, while you are in shock consider allowing others to help as much as possible.


Eventually, after a few days, weeks, or even months, those intense feelings of grief will begin to break through. It may happen when you least expect it.



In the meantime, recognize that shock is a natural part of the grieving process and that it doesn’t happen the same way for everyone. It’s also OK to tell friends and family members what you are feeling and going through at that very moment. Finding a trusted confidant to talk with can help you start to process your feelings.

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