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Navigating Changes in Burial Plans: What to Do When You No Longer Need a Funeral Plot

Mon, 25 Mar 2024 19:21:43 GMT

Life's journey is marked by unexpected twists and turns, and with them, our plans and priorities can change. One such plan that often undergoes revision is the choice of a final resting place. Many individuals purchase cemetery plots with the best intentions, but circumstances can evolve, leading to a situation where that plot is no longer needed. Whether it's a shift in burial preferences, relocation, or changes in family dynamics, knowing what steps to take in such a scenario is crucial. In this article, we will explore the compassionate and practical considerations surrounding what to do if you find yourself no longer in need of a cemetery plot you've previously acquired.

Contact the Cemetery

The first and most crucial step is to get in touch with the cemetery where you purchased the plot. They will have specific policies and procedures in place for such situations. Funeral directors often have established relationships with cemeteries, so they can assist you in navigating this process smoothly.

Review the Contract

Take a close look at the contract you signed when you purchased the plot. This document will outline the terms and conditions, including any provisions related to plot transfers, cancellations, or refunds. Cemetery policies may vary, so understanding your contractual obligations is vital.

Transfer the Plot

In some cases, the cemetery may allow you to transfer the plot to another family member or friend who may have a need for it. This can be a compassionate option, as it ensures that the plot serves its intended purpose. However, be sure to follow any specific procedures set forth by the cemetery and consult with them to facilitate the transfer.

Resale or Buyback Options

Certain cemeteries may have provisions for reselling plots or offering a buyback option. This means you could potentially recoup some of your investment. Again, you should discuss this possibility directly with the cemetery management to understand their policies and any associated fees or conditions.

Donation

Another option to consider is donating the plot to a charitable organization, religious institution, or cemetery that accepts such donations. Some places may use donated plots for indigent or unclaimed burials. Donating the plot can be a compassionate way to ensure it benefits others in need.

Seek Legal Advice

If you encounter challenges in dealing with the cemetery or face any legal issues related to the plot's disposition, it's advisable to consult with an attorney who specializes in funeral and burial law. They can provide you with legal guidance tailored to your specific situation.

In summary, if you find yourself in a situation where you no longer need a funeral plot you've purchased, there are a few option you can investigate to try that will allow you to get some value out of the purchase. Contact the cemetery, review your contract, explore transfer or resale options, consider donation, and seek legal advice if necessary.

Crafting a Unique Farewell: Personalizing Funeral Services

Mon, 25 Mar 2024 19:18:35 GMT

Losing a loved one is undoubtedly one of life's most challenging experiences. During such a time, the funeral service plays a significant role in helping families cope with their grief and say their final goodbyes. Personalizing a funeral service allows families to create a meaningful and memorable event that reflects the unique personality and life of the deceased.

Pre-Planning and Discussion

The process of personalization should ideally start before the need for a funeral arises. We recommend that families discuss their wishes and preferences with their loved ones well in advance. These conversations can help ensure that the funeral reflects the person's personality and values.

Choosing the Right Venue

The choice of venue can greatly influence the tone and atmosphere of the funeral service. Families can consider non-traditional venues like a favorite park, beach, or even the deceased's home. These unique settings can provide a more intimate and personalized environment for the gathering.

Customize the Ceremony

Customizing a funeral ceremony is a meaningful way to honor the unique life and personality of the deceased. Here are a few simple details you can incorporate into the ceremony that will allow the funeral to reflect your loved one's individuality and celebrate their memory:

Music: Music holds a special place in many people's hearts. Selecting songs that were meaningful to the deceased or that convey their personality can add a personal touch. Live performances by a local musician or a choir can also be considered.
Readings and Eulogies: Encourage family members and friends to share their memories through readings and eulogies. This not only honors the deceased but also helps in the grieving process.
Visual Elements: Incorporating visual elements like a photo slideshow or a video montage can provide a visual representation of the person's life journey.

Unique Rituals and Traditions

Understanding and respecting the cultural and religious traditions of the deceased is vital. Incorporating these customs into the service can provide a sense of continuity and comfort to the family and attendees.

For those with religious backgrounds, you can host traditional religious services at a place of worship. These services often include readings from sacred texts, prayers, hymns, and sermons delivered by a religious leader. Consider consulting with clergy, priests, ministers, or spiritual leaders from their faith. They can guide you on appropriate rituals, prayers, and customs.

If the deceased was not religious, a candle-lighting ceremony is another way to infuse spiritual traditions into the ceremony. Lighting candles in memory of the deceased is a common and meaningful tradition in many cultures and religions. Each candle may symbolize a different aspect of the person's life or be lit by a family member or friend.

Personalized Funeral Programs

Designing personalized funeral programs with photos, quotes, and anecdotes can serve as a lasting keepsake for attendees. These programs can include a brief biography, a timeline of the deceased's life, and details about the service.

Memorial Table

Create a memorial table with mementos, personal items, and photos that represent the deceased's hobbies, interests, and accomplishments. This can serve as a focal point for attendees to reminisce and pay their respects.

Personalized Casket or Urn

In cases of burial or cremation, families can opt for customized caskets or urns that reflect the personality and passions of the deceased. For a casket, choose one with customization options such as engravings, designs, or themed panels that reflect the person's passions. For an urn, opt for materials, colors, or shapes that resonate with the individual. Collaborate with a funeral director to ensure personalization details are implemented while adhering to any necessary regulations and requirements.

Release of Balloons, Doves, or Lanterns

A symbolic release of balloons, doves, or lanterns at the end of the service can be a beautiful way to symbolize the release of the spirit and provide closure for attendees.

Charitable Contributions

In lieu of flowers, families can suggest charitable donations in the name of the deceased to a cause or organization that was close to their heart. This not only honors the person but also contributes to a meaningful cause.

Celebration of Life Reception

Following the funeral service, consider hosting a celebration of life reception. This provides an opportunity for attendees to share stories and memories and support each other in a more relaxed and informal setting.

A celebration of life reception is a gathering held after a funeral or memorial service to honor the life of the deceased in a positive and informal manner. Unlike traditional gatherings, it emphasizes celebrating the person's accomplishments, joyous memories, and the impact they had on others. Attendees share stories, view photo displays, enjoy music, and often partake in refreshments. This event aims to create a warm, uplifting atmosphere where friends and family can find comfort, connection, and inspiration.

Personalized Thank-You Cards

After the funeral, sending personalized thank-you cards to attendees who showed support can be a meaningful gesture. It acknowledges their presence and contributions to the healing process.

Professional Guidance

Funeral directors can provide invaluable assistance in implementing these personalization ideas, ensuring that all legal requirements are met, and offering emotional support to grieving families.

Personalizing a funeral service is a powerful way to celebrate the life of a loved one and provide closure to those left behind. By considering the unique qualities, interests, and values of the deceased, families can create a meaningful and personalized tribute that truly reflects their loved one's legacy.

Sending Flowers to a Funeral: A Thoughtful Gesture of Comfort

Mon, 25 Mar 2024 19:09:10 GMT

When it comes to expressing condolences and offering comfort to grieving families, few gestures are as universally understood and appreciated as sending flowers to a funeral. In this article, we will offer expert advice and guidance on how to select and send the perfect flowers to a funeral. Whether you're a family member, friend, or colleague, this guide will help you express your sympathy and support in a meaningful way.

T he tradition of sending flowers to funerals dates back to ancient civilizations. In ancient Egypt, flowers were often used to adorn tombs and burial sites as offerings. In ancient Greece, flowers played a role in honoring the dead during both funeral ceremonies and as decorations for graves. During the Victorian era, flowers gained symbolic meanings, forming the "language of flowers." Modern practices involve tailored floral arrangements, with specific flowers and colors carrying sentiments of love, respect, and sympathy. This practice has transcended cultures and centuries, serving as a universal gesture of condolence and comfort for grieving families.

Flowers have long held a special place in our cultural lexicon, representing love, sympathy, and respect. When chosen thoughtfully, they become a visual embodiment of the emotions shared by those attending a funeral service. Here's a deeper look at the considerations involved:

Types of Funeral Flowers

Sympathy Bouquets : These traditional arrangements are a mixture of delicate blooms, thoughtfully arranged in vases or baskets. They serve as a heartfelt expression of condolences to the bereaved family.
Wreaths : Circular wreaths symbolize the eternity of life and are often placed either on the casket itself or nearby during the service.
Sprays : Larger floral displays, often known as sprays, can be gracefully draped over the casket or displayed on a stand. Typically chosen by close family members, they make a prominent tribute.
Crosses and Hearts : For those with religious beliefs or specific preferences, these specialized arrangements can convey a deeper sense of meaning.
Potted Plants : Some may opt for potted plants like lilies, peace lilies, or orchids as living memorials, offering lasting comfort to the grieving family.

The Language of Colors

The choice of flower colors carries its own significance, allowing you to tailor your tribute even further:

White : Symbolizes purity and innocence, often associated with sympathy.
Red : Conveys love and respect for the departed.
Pink : Represents admiration and gratitude.
Yellow : Signifies friendship and loyalty.
Lavender/Purple : Expresses sympathy and grace.

Cultural Variations:

Different cultures have their own unique approaches to funeral flowers. For example, in some Asian cultures, white flowers like lilies and chrysanthemums are commonly used to symbolize mourning and purity. Mexican Dia de los Muertos (Day of the Dead) celebrations feature vibrant marigold flowers, which are believed to guide the spirits of the deceased back to the world of the living.

Personalization and Thoughtfulness

To make your floral tribute even more meaningful:

Consider the deceased's favorite flowers or colors.
Incorporate flowers that reflect their hobbies or interests.
Include a personalized sympathy card with a heartfelt message to convey your condolences and support.

Ordering and Delivery

Timeliness is essential when sending funeral flowers. Ensure your arrangements reach the funeral home well in advance of the service. Provide accurate details of the funeral home and the service time to avoid any confusion. Collaborate with the funeral director or family members to guarantee proper placement.

Funeral Flower Etiquette

Understanding the etiquette associated with sending funeral flowers is crucial to ensure your gesture is respectful:

Respect the family's wishes if they request charitable donations instead of flowers.
Keep your message in the sympathy card brief and heartfelt.
Avoid overwhelming the family with an excess of flowers.
Different cultures and religions may have specific customs regarding funeral flowers; inquire if you are uncertain.
Choose flowers in season for a more meaningful and eco-friendly gesture.

Consideration of Regulations

While there are no specific laws governing funeral flowers, it's essential to be aware of general regulations:

Ensure floral arrangements do not obstruct views or impede the service.
Respect guidelines about the use of biodegradable materials in floral arrangements at cemeteries and funeral homes.
Choose flowers with scents that are not overpowering, as they may trigger allergies or sensitivities.
Secure floral arrangements to prevent accidents, especially in outdoor or windy settings.
Check with the funeral home for any specific policies regarding the placement and handling of floral tributes.

The act of sending flowers to a funeral is a time-honored tradition that transcends cultures and centuries. From ancient civilizations to the modern era, flowers have symbolized love, sympathy, and respect for the deceased. The thoughtful choice of flowers, their arrangement, and colors convey sentiments of condolences and support. This simple yet profound gesture continues to be a universal symbol of compassion and empathy.

Sharing Sympathy on Social Media: Etiquette and Guidelines

Mon, 25 Mar 2024 19:00:24 GMT

In our ever-evolving digital world, the way we communicate has transformed drastically. This includes how we offer condolences when someone loses a loved one. Social media platforms have become a common space for expressing sympathy and offering support during times of grief. However, it's essential to do so with care and respect. In this article, we'll delve into the etiquette of sharing condolences on social media.

Whether or not you should share condolences on social media depends on your relationship with the grieving person and your comfort level with online expressions of sympathy. Consider the following:

Closeness : If you're close to the grieving person or their family, a private message, phone call, or in-person visit may be more appropriate and personal.
Respect Their Wishes : Respect the grieving person's preferences. Some may appreciate public condolences, while others prefer private expressions of sympathy.
Platform Choice : Choose a platform where you think your message will be most meaningful and appropriate.
Authenticity : Only share condolences if you genuinely feel compelled to do so rather than feeling pressured by social norms.
Sensitivity : Craft your message with sensitivity, empathy, and respect for the grieving person's emotions and privacy.

Ultimately, the decision to share condolences on social media should be guided by your relationship with the grieving individual and your desire to offer support in a way that feels sincere and respectful to them. Remember: it's entirely okay to not share condolences on social media. Expressing condolences is a personal choice, and there is no obligation to do so publicly. Some individuals prefer to offer their condolences privately through a direct message, a phone call, or in person. The most important thing is to show support and empathy in a way that feels comfortable and genuine to you while respecting the grieving person's preferences.

Now that we've considered whether or not to share condolences on social media, let's explore some important guidelines on how to do so with grace and empathy. These guidelines will help ensure that your messages of sympathy are respectful and meaningful in the digital realm.

Choose the Right Platform

Not all social media platforms are created equal when it comes to expressing condolences. While it's common to see heartfelt messages on platforms like Facebook and Instagram, others, such as Twitter, may not be as suitable due to character limitations. Select a platform where your message can be adequately conveyed.

Timing Matters

Timing is crucial when offering condolences online. It's generally best to post your message promptly after learning about the loss, but not so hastily that you risk appearing insincere. Avoid

posting condolences late, as it may come across as if you weren't aware of the situation or didn't care enough to respond promptly.

Keep It Personal

When offering condolences on social media, try to personalize your message. Instead of generic phrases like "I'm sorry for your loss," share a specific memory or quality about the deceased that touched your heart. This demonstrates that you genuinely care and are not just following social conventions.

Use the Deceased's Name

Whenever possible, use the name of the deceased in your condolence message. This helps personalize your message and acknowledges the person who has passed away. For example, "I'm so sorry to hear about [Name]'s passing" is more heartfelt than a generic message.

Be Sensitive and Empathetic

Show empathy and sensitivity in your message. Grief is a deeply personal experience, and people react differently. Avoid offering unsolicited advice or solutions. Instead, express your condolences, offer support, and let the grieving person know that you are there for them.

Avoid Negative Comments

While it's essential to be empathetic and supportive, it's equally important to avoid making negative comments or sharing stories that might not be appropriate in the context of grief. Be mindful of the tone and content of your message to ensure it is respectful.

Avoid sharing stories or details that are:

Negative or critical of the deceased.
Unrelated to the deceased or their life.
Inappropriate or offensive in nature.
Too personal or private, unless explicitly shared by the grieving family.
Focused on your own experiences or unrelated topics, diverting attention from the grieving family's loss.
Speculative or judgmental about the circumstances of the death.

Condolence messages should be respectful, supportive, and centered on comforting the grieving family rather than sharing unrelated or potentially hurtful stories.

Respect Privacy

Some families may not want to share their grief on social media, and that should be respected. If you're unsure whether the grieving family has made a public announcement, it's best to reach out privately first and express your condolences.

Offer Practical Help

In addition to emotional support, consider offering practical help to the grieving family if you are in a position to do so. This could include running errands, preparing meals, or assisting with

funeral arrangements.

Use Appropriate Hashtags

If you decide to use hashtags in your condolence post, choose them carefully. Avoid using trending or unrelated hashtags that may detract from the sincerity of your message. Stick to relevant and respectful ones that convey your condolences.

Follow Up

Grief doesn't have a set timeline, and it often extends beyond the immediate days following a loss. It's thoughtful to check in on the grieving person periodically to offer continued support. A simple message expressing that you're thinking of them can make a significant difference.

Correct Errors Promptly

In the digital age, it's easy to make typos or errors in your condolences. If you realize you've made a mistake, such as using the wrong name or a grammatical error, correct it promptly and apologize if necessary. Acknowledging and correcting mistakes shows respect and sincerity.

Be Mindful of Cultural and Religious Differences

Different cultures and religions have their customs and traditions regarding death and mourning. If you're aware of the deceased's cultural or religious background, be respectful of their customs in your condolence message.

In the digital age, offering condolences on social media has become a common way to show support and share in the grief of others. However, as we've explored in this article, it's crucial to do so with empathy, sensitivity, and respect for the grieving person's preferences. By following the guidelines discussed, you can make your online condolences a meaningful and comforting gesture during challenging times.

Remember that genuine and heartfelt messages, whether shared publicly or privately, hold immense value in providing solace to those who are mourning. In the end, it's not about the platform you choose but the sincerity and compassion behind your words that truly matter. Whether through a heartfelt message, a comforting phone call, or a warm embrace in person, offering support during times of loss is a reflection of our shared humanity and the bonds that connect us all.

Guiding Light: Small Daily Steps for Navigating Grief and Loss

Mon, 25 Mar 2024 18:57:03 GMT

Coping with the loss of a loved one is one of the most challenging and painful experiences a person can endure. Dealing with the death of a family member or close friend can be overwhelming, and the journey of healing is deeply personal. While there is no one-size-fits-all solution to navigating grief, there are small daily steps that can help you cope and gradually find your way towards healing. This article will provide guidance on these daily steps, drawing upon our staff's expertise in funeral services, grief counseling, and compassion for those who are grieving.

Before delving into the specific steps to cope with grief, it's essential to understand that grief is a complex and individual process. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and it can manifest differently for each person. Grief is not something to be rushed or suppressed; it is a natural response to loss, and it deserves time, attention, and self-compassion.

Step 1: Acknowledge Your Grief

The first and most crucial step in dealing with the loss of a loved one is to acknowledge your grief. It's okay to feel a wide range of emotions, including sadness, anger, guilt, confusion, and even numbness. These emotions are all part of the grieving process, and there is no need to judge yourself for experiencing them. In fact, acknowledging your grief is a sign of strength and self-awareness.

Step 2: Seek Support

You do not have to go through this difficult journey alone. Grief can be isolating, but connecting with others who understand your pain can provide immense comfort. Reach out to friends, family members, or support groups who can offer a listening ear and emotional support.

Seeking support when grieving provides emotional validation, different perspectives, human connection, practical assistance, professional guidance, gentle encouragement, and a safe space to express feelings. Support helps individuals navigate the complex journey of grief, reducing isolation and promoting healing.

Step 3: Create a Daily Routine

During times of grief, it can be easy to lose a sense of structure and normalcy in your life. Creating a daily routine can help bring stability and predictability back into your days. Start with small, achievable goals, prioritizing self-care. These goals can include simple tasks such as waking up at a consistent time, having regular meals, and engaging in daily activities that bring you comfort and familiarity.

Step 4: Remember and Celebrate

Take time each day to remember and celebrate the life of your loved one. Share stories, look at photos, or create a memory box filled with mementos that remind you of them. Keeping their memory alive can be a meaningful and comforting way to cope with the loss. Acknowledge

significant milestones and anniversaries related to your loved one's life. Whether it's their birthday or the anniversary of their passing, find meaningful ways to commemorate these dates. It can be a beautiful way to honor their memory.

Step 5: Express Your Feelings

Find healthy outlets to express your emotions. Writing in a journal, painting, playing music, or engaging in other creative activities can help you process your grief. Don't be afraid to cry when you need to; tears are a natural and therapeutic way to release pent-up emotions.

Step 6: Practice Self-Care

Taking care of your physical and emotional well-being is crucial during the grieving process. Make sure you are eating nourishing meals, getting enough rest, and engaging in regular exercise. Grief can take a toll on your body, so self-care is essential to maintain your strength.

Step 7: Connect with Nature

Spending time in nature and connecting with the outdoors can be incredibly therapeutic. Take a walk in the park, sit by a river, or simply immerse yourself in the beauty of the natural world. Nature can provide a sense of peace and solace during your journey of grief.

Step 8: Consider Professional Help

If your grief becomes overwhelming and begins to interfere significantly with your daily life, don't hesitate to seek professional help. Signs that it's time to seek professional help include experiencing isolation, substance abuse, suicidal thoughts, or physical symptoms. Remember that seeking professional help is a sign of strength and self-care. Therapists, counselors, and grief specialists have the expertise to provide guidance, coping strategies, and a safe space for you to process your grief effectively. It's essential to prioritize your mental and emotional well-being during the challenging journey of mourning a loved one.

Step 9: Practice Mindfulness and Meditation

Mindfulness and meditation techniques can help you stay in the present moment and alleviate anxiety and stress. Breathing exercises and guided meditation can be especially beneficial in reducing emotional turmoil.

Step 10: Join a Support Group

Many communities offer grief support groups where individuals who have experienced similar losses come together to share their experiences and emotions—joining a support group while mourning provides several benefits. It offers a safe space to express emotions, connect with others who share similar experiences, gain different perspectives on grief, receive emotional validation, and learn coping strategies. This sense of belonging and shared understanding can reduce isolation, promote healing, and offer valuable support during the mourning process.

Step 11: Volunteer or Give Back

Sometimes, helping others can be a way to heal. Consider volunteering your time or donating to a charity in honor of your loved one. It can provide a sense of purpose and fulfillment and create a positive legacy in their memory.

Step 12: Educate Yourself About Grief

Understanding the grieving process and the emotions you may experience can be empowering - it fosters self-compassion, empowers you to navigate it effectively, and promotes a healthier, more informed grieving experience. Read books and articles or attend workshops on grief to gain insights and tools for coping. Knowledge can help demystify the grieving process and provide a sense of control.

Step 13: Practice Gratitude

Despite the pain of loss, there may still be things in your life to be grateful for. Each day, try to identify something you're thankful for, no matter how small. Cultivating gratitude can help shift your focus from the pain of loss to the blessings in your life.

Step 14: Connect with Your Faith

If you have religious or spiritual beliefs, lean into your faith during this time. Seek guidance and solace through prayer, meditation, or attending religious services. Connecting with your faith while mourning can provide solace, hope, and a sense of purpose. It offers spiritual guidance, helps make sense of the loss within a larger context, and provides a community of support. Faith can offer comfort and a framework for understanding and coping with grief, helping individuals find meaning in their suffering.

Step 15: Be Patient with Yourself

Above all, be patient with yourself. Grief is not a linear process, and it can take months or even years to heal fully. Allow yourself the time and space to grieve in your way and at your pace. Self-compassion is a vital part of the healing journey.

In conclusion, navigating grief after the loss of a loved one is a challenging journey, but it is a journey that can be made more manageable through small daily steps. By acknowledging your grief, seeking support, establishing a routine, and practicing self-care, you can begin to heal. Remember that grief is unique to each person, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution. It's essential to be patient with yourself, allow for moments of vulnerability, and seek professional help when needed. As you navigate the ups and downs of grief, know that you are not alone, and with time, compassion, and support, you can find your way towards healing and a renewed sense of hope and resilience.

Choosing the Right Guests: Who Should Be Invited to a Funeral?

Mon, 25 Mar 2024 18:52:39 GMT

The process of planning a funeral is undoubtedly challenging, as it involves not only making arrangements for the deceased but also deciding who should attend the service. The guest list is a crucial aspect of any funeral, as it plays a significant role in ensuring that the event is meaningful and provides support to grieving friends and family members.

Immediate Family

The first group of individuals who should be invited to a funeral is the immediate family of the deceased. This typically includes spouses, children, parents, and siblings. These individuals share the closest bonds with the departed and are most affected by the loss. They should be given the opportunity to pay their respects and say their final goodbyes.

Extended Family

Beyond the immediate family, it is common to invite extended family members. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and other close relatives should be included on the guest list. The relationship with the deceased might vary, but offering them the chance to attend allows for a broader support network during this difficult time.

Close Friends and Acquaintances

Close friends of the deceased and their family should also be invited to the funeral. These individuals often share deep emotional connections and may have been a source of support during the deceased's life. Additionally, co-workers, neighbors, and acquaintances who were part of the deceased's social circle should be considered for inclusion.

Colleagues and Professional Contacts

If the deceased was actively working or had a significant professional life, it is appropriate to invite colleagues and professional contacts to the funeral. This can help celebrate the individual's accomplishments and allow for the closure of professional relationships.

Spiritual and Religious Community

For those who were actively involved in a religious or spiritual community, it is customary to invite members of that congregation. Clergy members, fellow worshippers, and spiritual leaders can provide guidance and comfort during the service. Their presence can also help facilitate any religious rituals or customs associated with the funeral.

Close Family Friends

Family friends who have shared a long history with the deceased and their family are often considered an important part of the support network. Their presence can be a source of solace during the funeral and offer additional emotional support to the grieving family.

Special Individuals

There may be specific individuals who held a special place in the heart of the deceased, such as mentors, godparents, or close family friends who have acted as surrogate parents. These individuals should be included as a mark of respect and recognition for their significant role in the deceased's life.

Caregivers and Healthcare Providers

In cases where the deceased had been under the care of healthcare providers or caregivers, it is thoughtful to extend an invitation. These individuals may have formed meaningful connections with the deceased and can offer valuable insights into their final days.

Those Who Played a Role in the Deceased's Interests

If the deceased had a particular hobby or interest group, members of that community can be invited to pay their respects. Whether it's a sports team, a book club, or any other shared interest, these connections can offer a unique perspective on the person's life.

How Many People Should You Invite to a Funeral?

Having more people at a funeral provides emotional support, validation of grief, and a broader sharing of memories, creating a sense of unity and collective mourning. It also highlights the deceased's impact on a larger community and fosters a meaningful tribute to their legacy. Conversely, a smaller gathering can offer a more intimate and private setting, allowing for deeper connections among attendees and a quieter, reflective atmosphere for mourning and remembrance.

Ultimately, when deciding between a large or small funeral gathering, it's important to consider what your loved one would have wanted.

Funeral Etiquette

In addition to considering your loved one's wishes, there are a few other details to consider when deciding who to invite. It's essential to consider the capacity of the funeral venue and the practicality of accommodating guests. It's also crucial to keep in mind any cultural or religious customs that may influence the guest list. While it's natural to want to invite as many people as possible, practical constraints may necessitate prioritizing certain individuals over others.

How to Find Contact Info for Invitees

Finding contact information for friends and acquaintances of a deceased relative can be a sensitive and sometimes challenging task. Start by reviewing the personal address book or contact list of the deceased, if available. You can also reach out to immediate family members and the deceased's closest friends who may have information about other acquaintances. Social media platforms like Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter can be valuable tools for finding contact information for friends and acquaintances, as well as email accounts if you are able to access them.

If none of these options are available to you, reach out to mutual friends who may have contact information for others in the deceased's social circle.

The process of deciding who should be invited to a funeral requires careful consideration of the deceased's relationships, social circles, and cultural norms. It is a delicate balance between honoring the departed and providing support to the grieving family. By including immediate family, close friends, extended family, and various other individuals who had meaningful connections with the deceased, a funeral can be a touching and meaningful tribute to a life well-lived. Ultimately, the goal is to create a space where people can come together to remember, mourn, and find solace in one another's company.

Selecting the Perfect Headstone: A Guide to Honoring Your Loved One

Mon, 25 Mar 2024 18:42:08 GMT

In the wake of a loved one's passing, the process of saying goodbye can be one of the most challenging experiences in life. Besides the grief of losing someone near and dear, loved ones are faced with planning a funeral and burial. Among the many decisions that need to be made, choosing the right headstone is a deeply personal and significant choice.

A headstone, also known as a gravestone or tombstone, is a marker placed at the burial site of a deceased individual. Its primary purpose is to memorialize the person's life, providing a lasting tribute and a place for loved ones to visit and pay their respects. Selecting the right headstone is a way to ensure that your loved one's memory is preserved with dignity and respect.

Before diving into the specifics of headstone selection, it's essential to understand that cemeteries often have regulations and guidelines regarding the size, shape, and materials of headstones. These regulations can vary from one cemetery to another, and it's crucial to familiarize yourself with them.

Some cemeteries have strict rules about the type of headstones allowed, while others are more flexible. Additionally, certain religious or cultural cemeteries may have specific requirements. Ensure that you check with the cemetery administration to understand their regulations before making any decisions.

Headstones are available in various materials, each with its unique characteristics. The choice of material often depends on personal preferences, budget, and cemetery regulations. Here are some common materials for headstones:

Granite : Granite is a popular choice due to its durability and versatility. It comes in a wide range of colors and can be polished to a high shine or left with a matte finish. Granite headstones are known for their longevity and resistance to weathering.
Marble : Marble is a classic and elegant option. It has a smooth, white surface that lends itself well to intricate engravings. However, marble is softer than granite and may require more maintenance over time.
Bronze : Bronze headstones are known for their timeless beauty and are often used in conjunction with granite bases. They can be customized with intricate designs and text. Bronze is a durable material that develops a unique patina over time.
Slate : Slate headstones have a distinctive, natural appearance and are often chosen for their rustic charm. They can be engraved or etched with personal details and are suitable for a variety of styles.
Sandstone : Sandstone headstones offer a warm and inviting look. They can be carved with intricate details and are relatively easy to work with. However, sandstone may weather faster than some other materials.
Limestone : Limestone is a natural stone with a soft, creamy appearance. It can be carved with fine details but may require more maintenance to preserve its beauty.

When selecting the material for your loved one's headstone, consider factors such as aesthetic appeal, durability, and budget. Remember that the material choice will influence the design possibilities.

Taking the time to design a meaningful and personalized memorial for a departed loved one is a challenging but rewarding process. There are so many options and limited time to choose which one will be used - but a beautiful and meaningful monument serves as a lasting tribute to your loved one's memory and a place for remembrance and reflection where you and other loved ones can find comfort and solace. Keep in mind that the design may need to adhere to cemetery regulations. Here are some aspects to consider when designing the headstone:

Shape and Size : The shape and size of the headstone can vary widely. Common shapes include rectangles, hearts, crosses, and custom designs. Ensure that the chosen shape and size fit within the cemetery's regulations.
Engravings : Engravings on the headstone are a meaningful way to convey information and sentiments. They can include the individual's name, birth and death dates, a brief epitaph, and even custom artwork or symbols that hold significance to the person's life.
Embellishments : Consider adding embellishments such as religious symbols, flowers, or other meaningful elements. These can enhance the overall design and convey a deeper sense of the person's life and beliefs.
Color and Finish : The choice of color and finish can significantly impact the headstone's appearance. Granite, for example, comes in various colors, while bronze develops a unique patina over time. Choose colors and finishes that resonate with your loved one's personality and preferences.
Customization : Many companies offer the option for custom-designed headstones. This allows you to create a one-of-a-kind memorial that truly reflects your loved one's life and legacy.
Inscription Font : The font used for inscriptions can convey a certain mood or style. Consider the readability and aesthetics of different fonts when making your selection.

Personalization is key to creating a meaningful headstone. Take the time to think about the unique qualities and interests of your loved one. Incorporate elements that hold special meaning, such as hobbies, achievements, or favorite quotes.

Symbols and motifs can also be powerful additions to the headstone's design. These can include religious symbols, cultural icons, or representations of the person's passions. Such symbols can provide comfort and serve as a reminder of the person's life and values.

It's essential to establish a budget for the headstone, taking into account not only the cost of the stone itself but also any additional fees for engraving, delivery, and installation. U nderstand that financial considerations can add to the stress of the decision-making process during a difficult time.

Discuss your budget with the memorial provider, and they can help you explore options that fit within your financial constraints. Keep in mind that some materials and designs may be more affordable than others.

When selecting a headstone, prioritize quality craftsmanship. High-quality materials and skilled craftsmanship are essential to ensure the headstone stands the test of time. A well-crafted headstone will maintain its beauty and durability for generations to come, ensuring that your loved one's memory is preserved with the utmost respect and care.

Once the headstone is in place, it's important to establish a routine for its maintenance and care. Regular cleaning and upkeep will help preserve its appearance and integrity. Here are some tips for maintaining a headstone:

Cleaning : Use a soft brush, mild detergent, and water to gently clean the headstone's surface. Avoid abrasive materials that could scratch or damage the stone.
Weed Control : Keep the area around the headstone clear of weeds and overgrowth. Over time, vegetation can cause damage to the stone.
Inspect for Damage : Regularly inspect the headstone for any signs of damage, such as cracks or chips. Address any issues promptly to prevent further deterioration.
Seasonal Considerations : Depending on the climate in your area, consider seasonal maintenance. In colder regions, be mindful of freeze-thaw cycles that can affect the stone.

Selecting the right headstone is a deeply personal and significant decision in the journey of saying farewell to a loved one. Though it can be an intimidating process, taking the time to consider cemetery regulations, material choices, personalization, and budget constraints and navigate these factors effectively will ensure your loved one receives a unique and meaningful monument. A well-chosen headstone not only honors the departed but also provides a lasting place for remembrance, ensuring that their memory is preserved with dignity and care for generations to come. It's a meaningful way to pay tribute to a life well-lived and offer solace to those left behind during their grieving process.

Taking a Child to a Funeral: Considerations and Insights

Mon, 25 Mar 2024 17:37:14 GMT

In the solemn and emotionally charged context of a funeral, the question of whether it's a good idea to bring a child is one that many families grapple with. Taking a child to a funeral can teach them about empathy and the importance of supporting loved ones during difficult times, fostering emotional growth and understanding that will serve them throughout life. It also allows them to find closure after the passing of someone close. On the other hand, it may be advisable to avoid taking a child to a funeral if they are too young to understand death or mourn appropriately or if it risks causing distress.

Understanding the Importance of Inclusivity

Funerals are deeply personal events that serve as a way for family and friends to come together to remember and honor the life of the deceased. They provide a space for mourning, reflection, and closure. When deciding whether to bring a child to a funeral, it's essential to consider the family's unique circumstances, values, and cultural background.

Age and Maturity Matter

One of the critical factors in determining whether to bring a child to a funeral is the child's age and level of maturity. Young children, especially those under the age of 5 or 6, may have difficulty comprehending the concept of death and the emotions that come with it. They may also struggle to sit quietly and engage respectfully during the service.

For very young children, it may be advisable to arrange alternative childcare during the funeral service. This can allow the parents or caregivers to participate fully in the service without the added responsibility of managing a child's needs.

Preparing the Child

If you decide to bring a child to a funeral, it's crucial to prepare them for what to expect. Use age-appropriate language to explain the purpose of the funeral and the fact that people will be sad because someone they love has passed away. Reassure the child that it's okay to have feelings and questions and that you'll be there to support them.

Consider showing them a picture of the deceased before the service and explaining who the person was and their relationship to the child. This can help the child feel more connected to the event.

Choosing the Right Funeral Service

The type of funeral service you're planning can also influence whether it's suitable to bring a child. Some funerals are more formal and somber, while others may be more celebratory and uplifting. Discuss with the funeral director about the tone and atmosphere of the service to determine if it aligns with what you believe is appropriate for your child to experience.

Providing Support and Comfort

If you choose to bring a child to a funeral, ensure that there is a plan in place to provide them with emotional support. This may involve having a trusted family member or friend assigned to sit with the child, answer their questions, and offer reassurance.

Cultural and Religious Considerations

Different cultures and religions have unique customs and traditions when it comes to funerals. In some cultures, it is common for children to be an integral part of the funeral process, while in others, children may be shielded from the experience. It's essential to respect and honor your cultural and religious beliefs when making this decision.

Consult with a religious leader or cultural advisor if you are unsure about the appropriateness of including children in a particular type of funeral service.

Addressing Concerns and Questions

It's natural for children to have questions and concerns about death, funerals, and the emotions they are witnessing in adults. Be prepared to have open and honest conversations with your child about these topics. Reiterate that it's okay to feel a range of emotions and that grieving is a healthy part of the healing process.

Remember that clear and age-appropriate explanations can help children feel more at ease and less anxious about the funeral experience.

Alternatives to Attending the Service

In some cases, families may decide that it's best for the child not to attend the actual funeral service but still want to involve them in the mourning process.

There are alternative ways to include children in honoring the deceased. These can include:

Memorial Activities: Plan memorial activities at home or in a familiar setting where the child can participate, such as lighting a candle, creating artwork, or planting a memorial tree.
Private Farewell: Arrange a private farewell for the child to say goodbye to the deceased in a more intimate and less formal setting.
Educational Resources: Utilize books, videos, and other educational resources designed to help children understand death and the grieving process.
Therapeutic Support: If the child is struggling with grief, consider seeking the help of a grief counselor or therapist who specializes in working with children.

In the end, whether to take a child to a funeral is a deeply personal decision that depends on various factors, including the child's age and maturity, the type of funeral service, cultural and religious beliefs, and the family's unique circumstances. What's most important is that you consider what is in the best interest of the child's emotional well-being and comfort. Ultimately, the goal is to create an environment that allows everyone to grieve, remember, and find solace in their own way.

The Significance of Funerals: Honoring Deceased Loved Ones

Mon, 25 Mar 2024 17:29:37 GMT

Funerals serve to honor the deceased, provide closure, and support grieving individuals. They offer a structured space for emotional expression, memory-sharing, and cultural or religious traditions. Funerals have deep historical roots, originating in ancient civilizations like Egypt and Rome. These rituals evolved to honor and remember the deceased, often with religious or cultural significance. Over centuries, funeral customs adapted, reflecting changing beliefs and attitudes toward death, but the core purpose of paying tribute endures.

Providing Closure

A funeral offers a platform for family and friends to come together and say their final goodbyes. It marks the end of a chapter and provides a sense of closure, allowing individuals to begin the process of healing. Funerals help bring acknowledgment to the reality of death, making it easier for mourners to accept the loss and move forward.

Without a formal funeral, individuals and families may struggle to find closure. The absence of a structured event to mark the end of a person's life can make it challenging to accept the reality of their death.

Honoring and Remembering

Funerals are a way to celebrate the life of the departed and remember the impact they had on those around them. It's an opportunity to share stories, anecdotes, and memories, ensuring that the person's legacy lives on. Not having a funeral may mean missing out on the opportunity to ensure that the person's legacy is cherished and remembered.

Providing Support

Grief can be an overwhelming and isolating experience, but a funeral brings people together in their shared sorrow. It creates a support network for those in mourning, allowing them to lean on each other for comfort and understanding. Without a funeral, individuals may miss out on the emotional support and comfort that comes from being surrounded by family and friends during a difficult time.

Facilitating Expression of Grief

Funerals provide a safe and structured environment for people to express their grief openly. Crying, sharing memories, and offering condolences are all essential components of the grieving process. By attending a funeral, individuals can find solace in knowing that their emotions are valid and shared by others. Without this outlet, individuals may suppress their emotions, leading to unresolved grief that can have long-term emotional and psychological effects.

Acknowledging Cultural and Religious Traditions

Different cultures and religions have unique customs and traditions associated with death and funerals. Many cemeteries and funeral homes specialize in catering to families of specific religions or cultures. Families can collaborate with the Funeral Director to ensure that the funeral service respects and incorporates the specific beliefs and rituals of the deceased and their family. This cultural sensitivity is crucial in honoring the person's heritage and spirituality.

In modern times, diversity of faith and culture is increasingly common within families. In some cases, not having a funeral may go against the cultural or religious beliefs and traditions of the deceased or their loved ones – or it may deny some family members the opportunity to honor the deceased in a way that is meaningful to them. This could lead to a sense of cultural or spiritual disconnection and conflict.

Legal and Practical Necessities

Funerals also serve practical purposes. Funeral homes ensure that all legal requirements related to the disposition of the deceased are met. This includes obtaining necessary permits, complying with state regulations, and overseeing the burial or cremation process. Not having a funeral can lead to potential legal and practical issues. It may result in delays or complications related to the disposition of the deceased, including obtaining necessary permits.

Encouraging Conversation

The topic of death is often avoided in our society, leading to a lack of understanding about how to cope with loss. Funerals, by their nature, encourage open conversations about death and the emotions it evokes. This dialogue can help reduce the stigma surrounding grief and create a more supportive and empathetic community.

Funerals provide closure, honor the deceased, offer support, and facilitate healthy grieving. They also ensure legal compliance and promote cultural and religious traditions. Ultimately, a well-planned and thoughtful funeral service can make a significant difference in helping individuals.

Embracing Eternal Bonds: The Healing Power of Memorial Jewelry

Mon, 25 Mar 2024 17:22:37 GMT

In the realm of funeral and memorial services, one of the most poignant and personal ways to remember a departed loved one is through memorial jewelry. More than just an accessory, memorial jewelry is a tangible connection to the past and a source of comfort in the present. Join us as we delve into the myriad benefits of memorial jewelry, a cherished companion on the path of remembrance and healing.

Memorial jewelry is a special type of jewelry designed to commemorate and remember loved ones who have passed away. Whether it's a delicate pendant containing a small portion of ashes, a custom-made bracelet with a fingerprint impression, or a symbolic piece adorned with meaningful symbols, memorial jewelry allows us to carry the memory of our loved ones with us wherever we go. It serves as a daily reminder of the enduring bonds we share, fostering comfort, solace, and a sense of continuity.

The origins of memorial jewelry are ancient, spanning diverse cultures and time periods. From ancient Rome and Egypt, where locks of hair were worn as sentimental tokens, to the Victorian era's mourning jewelry featuring hair, ashes, or bone, the practice has deep historical roots. Memento Mori jewelry featuring images of skulls, skeletons, or related symbols of death in the Renaissance and Baroque eras symbolized mortality. Indigenous cultures, like Native American tribes, have traditions of using hair or bone in jewelry. Today, modern cremation jewelry continues this tradition, offering people a personal and meaningful way to remember and honor their loved ones.

Let's delve into the contemporary advantages that make it such a cherished and meaningful way to honor and remember our loved ones.

A Lasting Physical Connection:

Memorial jewelry containing cremated remains offers a tangible link to the departed. For grieving individuals, having a small portion of their loved one's ashes encased in a pendant, ring, or bracelet provides a comforting physical connection. It allows them to keep their loved one close, fostering a sense of nearness and continuity.

Personalized and Meaningful:

Cremation jewelry can be customized to reflect the unique personality and interests of the deceased. Whether it's a beautifully crafted necklace with a pendant in the shape of a musical note for a musician or a heart-shaped locket for someone deeply loved, these pieces can be tailored to be as unique as the individual they honor.

Portability and Discretion:

Memorial jewelry is discreet and portable, allowing individuals to carry their loved one's memory wherever they go. Unlike traditional urns or memorial objects, these jewelry pieces can be worn daily or on special occasions, making it easier to cope with grief during everyday life.

Variety of Designs:

The world of memorial jewelry offers a vast array of designs to choose from. Whether one prefers a subtle and elegant design or a more elaborate and ornate style, there is something for everyone. This diversity ensures that individuals can find the perfect piece to honor their loved one's memory.

A Timeless Keepsake:

Cremated remains are a lasting memorial, and memorial jewelry serves as a timeless keepsake. It can be passed down through generations, ensuring that the memory of the departed lives on and continues to be cherished by family and loved ones.

Emotional Expression:

Grief can be difficult to express in words. Memorial jewelry serves as a silent yet powerful expression of love, remembrance, and the enduring bond between the individual and their departed loved one.

Connection to Memories: Each time an individual looks at or touches their memorial jewelry, it can trigger cherished memories of the person they have lost. These reminders can provide a sense of continuity and help keep the memories alive.

Strengthening Bonds: Memorial jewelry can also serve as a way to strengthen bonds within a family or among friends. Sharing the experience of wearing or displaying such jewelry can create a sense of community and support among those who have experienced the same loss.

Portability and Accessibility: Unlike larger memorial objects or urns, memorial jewelry is portable and accessible. This means that individuals can carry it with them wherever they go, ensuring that their loved one is always close by, even during everyday activities.

Symbol of Hope: For some, memorial jewelry can symbolize the hope that life goes on, even in the face of loss. It can be a reminder that while the physical presence of the loved one may be gone, their spirit lives on in the hearts and memories of those left behind.

Memorial jewelry is a deeply personal and meaningful way to honor and remember a loved one. Whether it incorporates cremated remains, fingerprint impressions, or a simply a beautiful design that sparks past memories, memorial jewelry offers a lasting connection and source of comfort for those navigating the complex terrain of grief.

Memorial jewelry comes in a variety of forms, each designed to cater to different preferences and styles. Here are some of the most common kinds:

Cremation Pendants and Necklaces:

These are perhaps the most popular and versatile forms of memorial jewelry. Cremation pendants are typically designed with a small compartment to hold a tiny amount of cremated remains, a lock of hair, or other memorial materials. They come in a wide range of styles, from simple and elegant to ornate and personalized, and can be worn close to the heart.

Memorial Rings:

Memorial rings often feature a discreet compartment that can hold a small memorial element. These rings can be worn as a daily reminder of the departed loved one.

Memorial Bracelets:

Bracelets may incorporate a small chamber, often in the form of a charm or locket, for holding memorial materials. They offer a comfortable and customizable way to keep a loved one's memory close.

Memorial Earrings:

Earrings with tiny compartments are available for those who prefer a more subtle way to remember their loved ones. These can be a discreet yet meaningful choice.

Memorial Watches:

Some watches are designed with a compartment on the back where a small amount of ashes or other memorabilia can be placed. They combine functionality with remembrance.

Memorial Keychains:

Keychains are practical and can be personalized with memorial elements. They serve as a daily reminder of the departed when used for keys or attached to bags.

Memorial Brooches and Pins:

Brooches and pins can be worn on clothing or accessories and may contain a hidden compartment for memorial materials. They offer a unique way to remember a loved one.

Glass and Resin Jewelry:

Some artisans create glass or resin jewelry that incorporates cremated remains or other memorial elements, such as flowers or small mementos. These pieces are visually stunning and can be customized with various colors and designs.

Fingerprint and Handwriting Jewelry:

Jewelry can be customized with the fingerprint or handwriting of the departed. These personalized touches add a deeply sentimental and unique aspect to memorial jewelry.

Custom and Artisanal Pieces:

Many artisans specialize in creating custom memorial jewelry. They can work closely with individuals to design one-of-a-kind pieces that reflect the personality and interests of the deceased.

Religious and Symbolic Jewelry:

Some people choose memorial jewelry that incorporates religious symbols or meaningful symbols, such as crosses, angels, hearts, or doves, to represent their faith or the memory of their loved one.

Birthstone Jewelry:

Birthstone jewelry can be customized with the birthstone of the departed or other gemstones that hold special significance.

It's essential to note that the choice of memorial jewelry is highly personal. People can select the type and style that resonates most with their preferences and serves as a fitting tribute to their loved one. The diversity of options available ensures that individuals can find a piece that speaks to their heart and helps them keep their loved one's memory alive in a meaningful way.

Memorial jewelry offers a profound and deeply personal way to honor and remember our departed loved ones. In times of loss, when words often fall short, memorial jewelry becomes a silent yet eloquent expression of love and remembrance. It is a testament to the enduring connection we share with those we have lost, and it ensures that their memory lives on in our hearts, beautifully and eternally.

May the diverse options in memorial jewelry continue to offer comfort, healing, and solace to those who seek to cherish the memories of their loved ones in a tangible and heartfelt way.

Preserving Memories: Creative Ways to Cherish Cremated Remains

Mon, 25 Mar 2024 17:15:49 GMT

Cremation has become an increasingly popular choice for the final disposition of a loved one's remains. One key benefit of cremation is versatility - cremation offers many unique ways to remember and honor those who have passed away. In this article, we will explore various options, from traditional to creative, for keeping the memory of a loved one alive through the preservation and meaningful use of their cremated remains.

Before delving into the different possibilities for cremated remains, it's essential to understand the significance of these ashes in the grieving and memorialization process. Cremation has its roots in ancient traditions and is chosen by many today for reasons ranging from personal preference to environmental concerns. Cremated remains represent not just the physical remains of a person but also their legacy, memory, and the love shared with family and friends. As such, finding meaningful ways to preserve and honor these remains becomes a significant part of the mourning and healing process.

Now, let's explore some ideas for what you can do with cremated remains to preserve them and maintain a strong connection with your loved one.

1. Urns and Keepsakes

One of the most common ways to preserve cremated remains is by placing them in an urn. Urns come in various styles, materials, and sizes, allowing you to choose one that reflects the personality and preferences of the deceased. Additionally, many companies offer personalized urns and keepsakes, which can include engravings, photographs, or even custom designs. These urns can be kept at home or placed in a columbarium or niche within a mausoleum for a more permanent memorial.

2. Memorial Jewelry

Cremation jewelry has gained popularity as a unique and intimate way to keep a loved one's ashes close. Pendants, bracelets, and rings can hold a small portion of cremated remains, allowing family members to wear them as a constant reminder of their beloved. Memorial jewelry not only preserves the remains but also serves as a beautiful and discreet keepsake.

3. Scattering

Scattering cremated remains in a meaningful location can be a deeply spiritual and cathartic experience. Whether it's a serene natural setting, the sea, or a place of special significance to the deceased, scattering allows the ashes to become one with the environment. Some families choose to hold a small ceremony during the scattering to provide closure and create lasting memories.

4. Memorial Gardens

Creating a memorial garden is another beautiful way to preserve cremated remains and provide a serene space for reflection. Families can dedicate a section of their backyard or a community garden to the memory of their loved one. The ashes can be mixed with soil to nourish the plants, allowing new life to grow and flourish as a symbol of the circle of life.

5. Memorial Art and Objects

For those with a creative flair, incorporating cremated remains into art or objects can be a powerful way to remember a loved one. Artists can work with the ashes to create sculptures, paintings, or glass art that can be displayed in the home. These pieces serve as a lasting tribute to the departed while adding a unique touch to the living space.

6. Custom Memorials

As the world's most recognized Funeral Director, I can attest to the importance of customization in memorial services. Families can work with funeral professionals to create unique and personalized memorials that incorporate cremated remains. This can include custom-built structures, benches, or even artwork specifically designed to house the ashes.

7. Memorial Diamonds

Advancements in technology have made it possible to turn cremated remains into memorial diamonds. These lab-grown diamonds are created by extracting carbon from the ashes and subjecting it to high pressure and heat. The resulting gem can be set in jewelry, serving as a lasting and radiant tribute to the departed.

8. Virtual Memorials

In the age of technology, creating virtual memorials has become increasingly popular. Families can establish online platforms or social media profiles dedicated to their loved ones, sharing memories, photos, and stories. These virtual memorials allow family and friends from around the world to come together to celebrate the life of the deceased.

The preservation of cremated remains offers a multitude of options for families to honor and remember their loved ones in deeply meaningful ways. Whether through urns, jewelry, scattering, or creative expressions of art, the goal is to create a lasting connection that celebrates the life and legacy of those who have passed away. Ultimately, the choice of what to do with cremated remains should reflect the individuality of the deceased and provide solace and comfort to the grieving family.

Navigating the Costs and Choices of Funeral Plots

Fri, 22 Mar 2024 21:06:19 GMT

Whether you are purchasing a burial plot for yourself or someone you love in advance or searching for a plot for a deceased loved one, purchasing a burial plot can be a stressful experience. Beyond the question of where the plot should be - which can be a difficult decision in itself - there is also the issue of finances. How much does a funeral plot cost, and how do you know when you're getting a good deal? In this article, we will explore the costs associated with purchasing a burial plot and some ways you may be able to save money on one of the most meaningful purchases of your life.

Understanding the Costs of a Funeral Plot

The cost of a funeral plot can vary widely depending on several factors, including location, cemetery, and the type of plot you select. Here are some key considerations when it comes to understanding the costs:

Location : The geographical location plays a substantial role in determining the price of a funeral plot. Plots in urban areas or highly desirable cemeteries tend to be more expensive than those in rural or less sought-after locations.
Cemetery Type : Public cemeteries often offer more affordable plots compared to private or religious cemeteries. Different cemeteries offer various types of plots, such as traditional plots, lawn crypts, mausoleum crypts, and cremation gardens. Each option comes with its own price tag, with mausoleum crypts generally being the most expensive due to their above-ground nature.
Plot Size : The size of the plot also affects the cost. In general, a single plot meant for one person will be less expensive than a family plot designed to accommodate multiple interments. However, many cemeteries offer discounts or package deals for multiple plot purchases, making it a more cost-effective option for families planning for multiple interments. It's advisable to inquire with the specific cemetery for their pricing and offers.
Perpetual Care : Perpetual care ensures that burial plots and memorials receive ongoing maintenance, preserving their beauty and honoring the deceased. It offers families long-term peace of mind, saves time and effort, and maintains a respectful legacy for generations to come. Many cemeteries charge fees for perpetual care, which covers maintenance and upkeep of the plot. This fee can be a one-time payment or an ongoing annual expense.
Additional Services : Keep in mind that there may be additional fees associated with opening and closing the plot, installing a headstone or marker, and other optional services.

Typical Prices of Funeral Plots

It's important to note that prices can vary significantly from one region to another and even between cemeteries within the same area. On average, however, you can expect the following price ranges for different types of plots:

Traditional Burial Plots : These are typically the most affordable option and can range from $1,000 to $4,000 or more, depending on location and cemetery.
Lawn Crypts : Lawn crypts, which are usually pre-installed concrete burial vaults, can cost between $2,000 and $6,000.
Mausoleum Crypts : Mausoleum crypts are often the most expensive option, with prices ranging from $5,000 to $15,000 or higher.
Cremation Plots : For those opting for cremation, cremation plots or niches are available at a lower cost, starting at around $500 and going up to $3,000 or more.

Options for Paying for a Funeral Plot

Once you've determined the type of plot you want and its associated costs, you'll need to explore your payment options. Here are some common methods for covering the expenses:

Out-of-Pocket Payment : If you have the financial means, paying for the plot upfront with cash or a check is the simplest method. Some cemeteries may offer discounts for immediate payment.
Pre-Planning : Pre-planning your funeral allows you to make arrangements and payments in advance. Payments are usually made in installments over a period of several years. Not only are you getting a plot, but you're also pre-planning how your memorial service will go. You can even pick our your coffin and headstone. This not only ensures that your wishes are met but also eases the financial burden on your loved ones when the time comes.
Financing : Some cemeteries or funeral homes offer financing options for funeral plots. These plans often come with low-interest rates and flexible payment terms. Be sure to inquire about the terms and any associated fees.
Insurance : Funeral insurance or burial insurance policies are designed specifically to cover funeral expenses, including the cost of a plot. These policies can be an excellent way to ensure that funds are available when needed.
Government Assistance : In certain cases, government programs or veterans' benefits may assist with burial expenses. Check with local authorities or veterans' affairs offices to see if you qualify for any assistance.

Choosing the Right Funeral Plot

Selecting the perfect funeral plot is a deeply personal decision. Here are some essential considerations when making your choice:

Location and Accessibility : Think about the convenience of the cemetery's location for family and friends. Consider factors like proximity to your home, ease of access, and available parking. The aesthetics of the cemetery’s surroundings are another important factor to consider.
Cemetery Regulations : Each cemetery has its own set of rules and regulations. Familiarize yourself with these guidelines, as they may dictate the type of plot, headstone design, and other aspects of the burial.
Family Needs : If you're purchasing a plot for a family member, choose a cemetery that resonates with their values and preferences. Public cemeteries tend to be more cost-effective, while private or religious cemeteries may offer specific amenities or cultural significance.
Future Planning : Think long-term. If you're purchasing a family plot, consider how many interments it can accommodate and whether it will meet your family's needs for generations to come.
Budget : Stay within your budget. While emotions can run high during this time, it's essential to make a financially responsible decision.
Visitation and Memorial Options : Some cemeteries offer special features like benches, memorial gardens, or chapels for visitation and remembrance. Explore these options if they align with your desires.

The cost and choice of a funeral plot are significant considerations when planning a funeral. By understanding the various factors that affect pricing, exploring payment options, and carefully considering your needs and preferences, you can make a well-informed decision that honors your loved one's memory and provides comfort during a challenging time. Remember that professional guidance from a trusted funeral director can also be invaluable in navigating this process.

Securing Financial Support for a Veteran's Funeral: A Comprehensive Guide for Families

Fri, 22 Mar 2024 20:55:12 GMT

Losing a loved one is an emotionally challenging experience, and when that loved one is a veteran who has served their country, the desire to give them a dignified farewell can be even more profound. However, funerals can be expensive, and many families may face financial constraints during this difficult time. Fortunately, various avenues for financial support are available to help cover the costs of a veteran's funeral. This comprehensive guide will explore the steps and resources families can utilize to obtain the financial assistance they need.

1) Understand the Potential Costs

Before seeking financial support, it's essential to have a clear understanding of the potential costs associated with a veteran's funeral. These costs can vary based on several factors, including the location, type of service, and specific preferences of the family. Some common expenses to consider include:

Funeral home services
Casket or urn
Cemetery or burial plot
Headstone or marker
Transportation
Administrative fees
Miscellaneous expenses

By itemizing these costs, you can better assess your financial needs and plan accordingly.

2) Utilize Veterans Affairs (VA) Benefits

According to AmericanLegion.org, Veterans who die on active duty or with discharges that are other than dishonorable are entitled by law to:

Burial in a National Cemetery : A gravesite in any national cemetery with available space, opening, and closing of the grave.
Headstone or Marker : A government headstone, marker, urn, or medallion in a national and/or private cemetery.
Flag Presentation : A government-issued U.S. flag to drape over the casket and for presentation to the surviving spouse or next of kin.
Presidential Memorial Certificate : Families of veterans are eligible to receive a Presidential Memorial Certificate, which is a certificate signed by the President of the United States to honor the veteran's service. This certificate serves as a meaningful keepsake.

So, all veterans with discharges other than dishonorable are eligible for a free, but it has to be in a state or national cemetery - this is not always the preferred choice for veterans or their families. Many families prefer having their loved ones buried close to home - some even have family

plots. In cases such as these, the VA does offer additional burial benefits for individuals who meet eligibility criteria.

Here are some of the key VA benefits for burials in a private cemetery:

Burial Allowance : The VA provides a burial allowance to help offset the cost of interment for eligible veterans. This allowance can be used to cover various expenses related to the burial or cremation, including funeral home services, transportation, casket or urn, and administrative fees.
Plot Allowance : If the veteran is buried in a private cemetery, the VA may provide a plot allowance to help cover the cost of the burial plot. This allowance can be a significant financial assistance, particularly for those who choose private cemeteries.
Headstone or Marker : The VA offers a headstone or marker for the veteran's grave, whether they are buried in a national cemetery, state veterans cemetery, or a private cemetery. This includes inscribing the deceased's name, military service information, and an emblem representing their branch of service. However, the VA does not cover transportation and placement of the marker. In most cases, the family must arrange and pay for that.
Transportation Reimbursement : The VA may provide reimbursement for transportation expenses if the veteran's death occurred in a VA-approved nursing home or VA hospital. This benefit helps cover the cost of transporting the deceased to a burial location.

Families of eligible veterans typically need to complete VA Form 21P-530, "Application for Burial Benefits," to access these benefits. This form can be obtained from a local VA office or downloaded from the VA website. It's crucial to submit the application along with any required supporting documents, such as proof of the veteran's honorable discharge and a death certificate.

For an individual to be eligible for federal burial benefits for burial in a private cemetery, specific criteria must be met. These requirements include:

Veteran's Discharge Status : The deceased veteran must have received an honorable or general discharge under honorable conditions from their military service. Other discharge statuses, such as dishonorable discharges, are generally not eligible for federal burial benefits.
Service-Related Death : The veteran's death must be related to their military service in some way. This means that the death should have resulted from an injury, illness, or condition that can be connected to their service. Alternatively, if the veteran was receiving VA disability benefits at the time of their passing, they are typically considered eligible.
VA-Related Burial : To qualify for certain benefits, the deceased veteran must be buried in a cemetery under the jurisdiction of the VA. These include national cemeteries, state veterans cemeteries, and tribal veterans cemeteries that have an agreement with the VA.
Nonservice-Related Death in a VA Hospital or Nursing Home : If a veteran with a nonservice-related cause of death was residing in a VA hospital or VA-approved nursing home at the time of their passing, they may be eligible for a burial allowance to help cover funeral expenses.

It's important to note that the amount of the burial allowance can vary based on factors such as the veteran's circumstances and whether their death was service-related or nonservice-related.

To ensure the veteran meets all the necessary requirements when applying for federal burial benefits and that you have completed the correct forms, it's advisable to work closely with the VA or seek assistance from a knowledgeable source, such as a VA-accredited service officer or a Funeral Director experienced in handling veterans' funerals. This will help ensure that the process is carried out smoothly and that the veteran receives the honors and benefits they deserve for their service to the nation.

3) Explore State and Local Assistance

In addition to federal VA benefits, many states and local governments offer assistance programs to help cover funeral expenses for veterans. These programs may provide additional financial support or cover specific costs not addressed by federal benefits. To access state and local resources:

Contact Your State's Department of Veterans Affairs : Reach out to your state's Department of Veterans Affairs to inquire about available programs and benefits specific to your region. Each state may have its own eligibility criteria and application process.
Check with Local Veterans' Organizations : Organizations like the American Legion, Veterans of Foreign Wars (VFW), and other local veterans' groups may offer financial assistance or support services. These organizations often have dedicated funds to help veterans' families during times of need.

4) Explore Military Service Organizations

Several prominent veterans' service organizations in the United States provide support and assistance to veterans and their families in various ways. While they do not offer direct burial benefits themselves, they can play a crucial role in helping veterans and their families access the burial benefits provided by the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs (VA). These organizations include:

American Legion
Veterans of Foreign Wars (VFW)
Disabled American Veterans (DAV)
Military Order of the Purple Heart
Fleet Reserve Association

It's important to note that these organizations primarily serve as resources and advocates for veterans and do not directly provide burial benefits. However, they can be a valuable ally in helping veterans and their families navigate the complexities of VA benefits and ensuring that eligible veterans receive the support and honors they deserve for their service.

When a family is arranging a veteran's funeral, collaborating with these organizations or seeking assistance from their accredited service officers can be a proactive step to ensure that the veteran's burial benefits are properly accessed and that the funeral service includes appropriate honors.

5) Funeral Payment Plans

Many funeral homes offer payment plans or financing options to help families manage the cost of a funeral over time. Discuss your financial situation with the funeral director, and they can help you explore these options. Be sure to ask about any interest or fees associated with payment plans to make an informed decision.

6) Seek Financial Counseling

If you're unsure about how to navigate the financial aspects of a veteran's funeral, consider seeking financial counseling or advice. Financial counselors can help you assess your options, create a budget, and make informed decisions regarding funeral expenses. Nonprofit organizations like the National Foundation for Credit Counseling (NFCC) offer free or low-cost financial counseling services.

7) Review Personal Assets and Life Insurance

Before seeking external financial support, review the deceased veteran's personal assets and any life insurance policies they may have held. These assets and policies may help cover some or all of the funeral costs. Consult with an estate attorney or financial advisor to ensure you maximize the use of available resources.

8) Compare Funeral Service Costs

Compare costs and services from different funeral homes to find the most affordable and suitable option for your needs. Request itemized price lists from funeral homes to make an informed decision.

Arranging a veteran's funeral can be emotionally and financially challenging, but with the right resources and support, families can ensure a dignified farewell for their loved ones. By understanding and accessing VA benefits, exploring state and local assistance programs, engaging with military service organizations, and utilizing crowdfunding and fundraising, families can navigate the financial aspects of a veteran's funeral while honoring the veteran's service to our country. As a compassionate and empathetic Funeral Director, your expertise and guidance are essential in helping families make informed decisions during this difficult time.

Guiding the Final Salute: The Essential Role of Funeral Directors in Military Honors

Fri, 22 Mar 2024 20:45:41 GMT

Funeral directors hold a crucial role in orchestrating a solemn and dignified farewell for military veterans. In this article, we delve into the pivotal role these compassionate professionals play in coordinating and conducting military honors. From meticulous planning to offering emotional support, funeral directors ensure that veterans receive the tribute they rightfully deserve for their dedicated service to our nation.

The Importance of Military Honors:

Military honors are a solemn and meaningful way to pay tribute to veterans who have passed away. These honors serve as a way to show gratitude for their service, dedication, and the sacrifices they made to protect our nation. The presence of these honors at a funeral provides comfort and closure to grieving families, recognizing the deceased's commitment to their country.

Coordination and Planning:

One of the essential roles of a funeral director is to coordinate and plan every aspect of a funeral service, including military honors - this involves liaising with various parties, such as the deceased veteran's family, the military, and other service providers. Here's a breakdown of the funeral director's responsibilities:

Family Consultation: The funeral director will begin by meeting with the deceased veteran's family. During this consultation, they listen carefully to the family's wishes and preferences for the funeral service. Understanding the family's desires is crucial in ensuring the service is a meaningful and personalized tribute.
Contacting the Military: Funeral directors must contact the appropriate military branch to arrange for the necessary honors. This may involve contacting the local Veterans Affairs office or the military unit to which the deceased veteran belonged.
Coordinating Logistics: The funeral director will coordinate the logistics required for the military honors. This includes arranging for the presence of a uniformed honor guard, bugler, and flag-folding ceremony, among other elements. They ensure that all aspects of the honors are executed seamlessly.

Legal and Regulatory Compliance:

Each state in the United States has specific regulations governing funeral services, and military honors are no exception. Funeral directors must ensure compliance with these regulations, including permits, documentation, and coordination with military authorities.

Conducting Military Honors:

The actual execution of military honors is a precise process. Funeral directors play a central role in ensuring these honors are carried out with the utmost dignity and respect. Here is a step-by-step overview of the process:

Flag Presentation: One of the most iconic aspects of military honors is the presentation of the American flag to the deceased veteran's family. The funeral director works closely with the honor guard to ensure this moment is conducted gracefully and precisely. The flag is typically presented with a heartfelt expression of gratitude for the veteran's service.
Rifle Salute: A traditional part of military honors is the rifle salute, often performed by a firing party. The funeral director makes sure that the firing party is organized and that the rifle salute is executed according to military protocol.
Taps: The bugler plays the hauntingly beautiful "Taps" melody, a poignant and emotional tribute to the deceased veteran.
Flag Folding: The honor guard meticulously folds the flag, symbolizing the respect and honor bestowed upon the veteran.
Presentation of Flag: After the flag is folded, the funeral director ensures that it is presented to the family in a solemn and respectful manner. This presentation often includes a few words of gratitude and comfort for the family.

Counseling and Support:

Beyond the logistical and ceremonial aspects, funeral directors also provide emotional support and guidance to grieving families. As experienced professionals with years of experience supporting families through difficult times, funeral directors understand the deep grief and loss that families experience, especially when a loved one who served in the military has passed away. They take the time to listen to concerns, offer comforting advice, and provide a compassionate presence throughout the funeral service.

Customization and Personalization:

Every veteran is unique, and their funeral service should reflect their individuality. Funeral directors work closely with the family to personalize the service according to the veteran's wishes and the family's preferences. This might include incorporating specific military insignia, photographs, or personal anecdotes celebrating the veteran's life and service.

T he role of a funeral director in performing military honors is a multifaceted and deeply meaningful responsibility. It involves meticulous planning, coordination with military authorities, compliance with legal and regulatory requirements, and the execution of a solemn and respectful ceremony. Military honors serve as a powerful reminder of the sacrifices made by our veterans, and it is an honor to play a part in recognizing their service in such a meaningful way.

Coping Strategies for Children Who Have Lost a Loved One

Fri, 22 Mar 2024 20:40:36 GMT

Coping with the loss of a loved one is never easy, especially for children. In this article, we will explore essential coping strategies designed to help children navigate the complex journey of grief. These strategies provide support, healing, and a path towards resilience during one of life's most challenging times.

Why do I need to teach my child coping strategies?

Teaching children coping strategies for dealing with the death of a loved one is crucial for several reasons:

Emotional Well-being : It helps children manage their emotions and prevent emotional suppression, promoting long-term emotional health.
Resilience : Coping strategies build resilience, enabling children to bounce back from adversity and face future challenges with strength.
Healthy Grief Process : These strategies guide children through the grieving process, ensuring it's constructive and doesn't lead to unresolved issues.
Communication : It fosters open communication about grief, making it easier for children to express their feelings and seek support.
Lifelong Skills : Coping strategies are valuable life skills that children can use to navigate various difficulties in adulthood.

In essence, teaching coping strategies equips children with the tools they need to cope with loss and navigate the complexities of life's emotional challenges.

Some important coping strategies to incorporate into your child's routine include:

Memorial Activities : Engage the child in memorial activities that celebrate the life of their loved one. This could include creating a memory box, drawing pictures, writing letters, or planting a tree in their memory. These activities can help the child feel connected to the person they've lost.
Maintain Healthy Habits : Encourage the child to maintain healthy habits, such as eating well, getting enough sleep, and engaging in physical activity. These habits can help them better manage their emotions.
Engaging in positive activities : Regular activities like sports, clubs, and playtime are vital for grieving children. These activities provide a much-needed break from grief, promote social interaction, build resilience, and offer a sense of normalcy. They help children process emotions and regain a sense of joy and connection amidst their loss.
Breathing and Relaxation : Breathing and relaxation exercises work by activating the body's relaxation response, which counteracts the stress response often triggered by grief. These practices help children manage their emotional responses, reduce anxiety, and restore a sense of calm, making them valuable tools for coping with grief. Helpful exercises include deep breathing, muscle relaxation, mindfulness (focused attention on the present moment), and visualization - creating soothing mental images, reducing anxiety and promoting a sense of peace.
Create a Grief Journal : Encourage the child to keep a grief journal where they can write down their thoughts and feelings. This journal can serve as an outlet for their emotions and a way to track their progress in coping with grief.
Books and Resources : Provide age-appropriate books and resources about grief and loss. Reading and discussing these materials together can help the child better understand their emotions and the grieving process.
Participate in Support Groups : Look for local support groups or online communities specifically designed for children who have experienced loss. These groups can provide a sense of belonging and understanding as they connect with peers who are going through similar experiences.
Respect Their Pace : As a parent, its natural to be concerned about your childe when they are going through a difficult time - but keep in mind that grief is a highly individual process, and children may cope at their own pace. Be patient and understanding, allowing them to grieve in their own way and time.

Some great ways to support their grief journey include making sure that they feel safe and supported in expressing their emotions. Let them know that it's all right to cry and that their feelings are valid. Encourage them to talk about their loved ones and share memories.

Finally, remind the child that they are loved and cared for. Offer them plenty of reassurance and affection, letting them know that you are there to support them through their grief journey.

In conclusion, grief is a profound experience for children, but with the right coping strategies, they can find solace and healing. These strategies empower them to express their emotions, build resilience, and maintain healthy relationships. By providing the necessary support and tools, we can help grieving children find their way towards recovery and hope.

Helping Your Child Cope with the Loss of a Grandparent: A Guide for Parents

Fri, 22 Mar 2024 20:24:04 GMT

Losing a grandparent can be a profound and emotional experience for a child. It's often their first encounter with death, and it can raise a myriad of questions and emotions. In this comprehensive article, we will explore strategies and expert advice on how parents can help their children cope with the death of a grandparent.

Understanding Grief in Children

Before delving into specific strategies, it's essential to recognize that children experience grief differently than adults. Their understanding of death evolves with age, and their emotional responses can vary widely. Here are some key aspects to keep in mind:

Developmental Stages : Children of different ages have varying levels of comprehension. Younger children may not fully grasp the concept of death, while older ones might have a more profound understanding.
Emotional Rollercoaster : Children may exhibit a range of emotions, including sadness, anger, confusion, and even moments of apparent indifference. These feelings can be intense and may come and go unexpectedly.
Regression : It's not uncommon for children to exhibit regressive behavior, such as bed-wetting, thumb-sucking, or clinging to a security blanket. This is their way of seeking comfort and security.
Questions and Curiosity : Children are naturally curious, and they may have numerous questions about death, the afterlife, and what will happen to their loved one. Be prepared to answer their inquiries honestly and age-appropriately.
Grief Timeline : Children may grieve intermittently over time. It's not unusual for them to revisit their feelings of loss during important milestones or anniversaries.

With this understanding, let's explore the ways in which parents can help their children cope with the death of a grandparent.

Honest and Open Communication

When it comes to helping your child cope with the loss of a grandparent, open and honest communication is paramount. Honesty and directness are very important - and very challenging - when breaking the news of their grandparent's death to your child, but they are essential to helping the child fully understand what has happened. Loss is difficult, but we must all cope with it at some point in our lives. Give your child the opportunity to grieve; trying to protect them will only lead to confusion.

Choose the Right Time and Place
Find a quiet, comfortable space where you can talk without distractions. Timing is crucial; choose a moment when both you and your child can be fully present.
Use Age-Appropriate Language
Tailor your explanations to your child's age and comprehension level. Avoid using euphemisms like "gone to sleep" or "gone away," as they can be confusing. Instead, use simple and direct language. For example: "I have some sad news: Grandma died earlier today."
Answer Questions Honestly
Children will have questions about death. Be truthful, even if the answers are difficult. Avoid giving too much information at once; provide what they can handle.
Share Your Feelings
Express your own grief, as it can show your child that it's okay to feel sad and vulnerable. However, reassure them that you are there to support them.

Encourage Expression of Feelings

It's essential to create a safe space where your child feels comfortable expressing their emotions.

Validate Their Emotions
Let your child know that it's normal to feel a wide range of emotions and that there's no right or wrong way to grieve. Say things like, "It's okay to be sad; I feel sad too."
Provide Creative Outlets
Children often find it challenging to articulate their feelings verbally. Encourage them to express themselves through art, writing, or even play. Offer coloring materials, journals, or toys that can help them process their emotions.
Share Stories and Memories
Reminiscing about the grandparent can be healing. Share positive and loving memories to keep their memory alive. This can be especially comforting for children.

Attending the Funeral or Memorial Service

Involving your child in the funeral service of a grandparent can be a valuable part of their healing journey, but it should be a choice made with their comfort in mind.

Discuss the Option
Talk to your child about attending the funeral or memorial service. Explain what to expect, from the setting to the rituals involved.
Respect Their Decision
Some children may feel overwhelmed by the idea of attending, while others may want to participate. Respect their choice and reassure them that it's okay either way.
Prepare Them
If they decide to attend, prepare them for what they might see and hear. Let them know that it's a way to say goodbye and that many people will be there to support them.

Create a Safe and Stable Environment

Stability and routine can provide a sense of security during times of upheaval.

Maintain Daily Routine
As much as possible, stick to your child's regular schedule. Consistency can offer comfort and a sense of normalcy.
Be Present
Spend quality time with your child, offering your undivided attention. This reassures them that you are there for them.
Seek Support from Others
Lean on friends and family members for support. It's okay to ask for help, especially when dealing with your grief while supporting your child.

Seek Professional Help When Needed

While many children can navigate grief with the support of their parents, some may struggle more intensely. Don't hesitate to seek professional assistance if your child's grief becomes overwhelming or prolonged.

Grief Counselors
Grief counselors or therapists with experience in working with children can provide specialized support. They can help your child process their emotions and develop healthy coping strategies.
Support Groups
Consider joining a grief support group for both you and your child. Sharing experiences with others who are going through similar situations can be comforting.

Foster Resilience and Coping Skills

Grief is a lifelong process, and it's essential to equip your child with tools to cope with future losses and challenges.

Teach Coping Strategies
Encourage your child to identify healthy coping strategies, such as talking about their feelings, engaging in physical activities, or practicing relaxation techniques.
Encourage Resilience
Help your child understand that it's okay to move forward while cherishing the memories of their grandparent. Encourage them to find joy in life again.

When helping your child cope with the loss of a grandparent, remember that open and honest communication, emotional support, and age-appropriate explanations are key. Encourage your child to express their feelings, attend memorial services if they wish, and maintain a stable environment.

Above all, be patient and understanding as your child navigates the complex emotions that accompany grief. You have the expertise and compassion to guide them through this challenging time, ultimately helping them learn to cope with loss and build resilience for the future.

Nurturing Grieving Hearts: Helping a Child Through Grief

Fri, 22 Mar 2024 20:12:22 GMT

In the delicate journey of life, we often find ourselves confronted with the painful reality of death. The loss of a loved one can have a profound impact on anyone- but for children, the experience can be especially painful and confusing. In this article, we will delve into ways that you can support your child after the loss of a loved one.

Open and Honest Communication:

One of the fundamental aspects of helping a child cope with grief is fostering open and honest communication. Using clear, age-appropriate language is crucial when discussing death. Be prepared to answer their questions, even the difficult ones, and reassure them that their feelings are valid.

Validate Their Emotions:

Grief is a complex journey, and it is essential to validate a child's emotions. After the loss of someone close to them, children often feel a range of feelings, from sadness and anger to confusion and guilt. Let your child know that it is okay to feel these emotions and that you are there to support them.

Create a Safe Space:

Creating a safe and nurturing environment is paramount in helping a child through the grieving process. As professionals who specializes in providing comfort and guidance during times of loss, we recommend setting aside time for your child to express their feelings without judgment. Listen actively without rushing them to move on from their grief.

Encourage Memorialization:

Memorialization plays a crucial role in the healing process. Involve your child in creating a meaningful tribute to the departed loved one. This could be through crafting a scrapbook, planting a tree, or even writing letters to the deceased.

Maintain Routines:

Routine can provide stability and a sense of security during turbulent times. As experts in funeral services, we have seen that maintaining regular schedules, such as mealtimes and bedtime, can help children feel grounded amidst the chaos of grief.

Lead by Example:

Children often look to their parents for guidance on how to navigate difficult emotions. As funeral directors, we understand the importance of modeling healthy grief processing. Show your child that it is okay to cry, to talk about their feelings, and to remember their loved one with love and fondness.

Celebrate the Life Lived:

One of the ways to personalize funeral services is by celebrating the unique life of the departed.

Encourage your child to share their favorite memories and stories about their loved one. This can help shift the focus from the pain of loss to the joy of the moments shared.

Teach Coping Strategies:

Teaching your child healthy coping strategies is an invaluable gift. Just as we provide comforting advice and guidance to grieving families, imparting skills like journaling, deep breathing, or engaging in creative activities can empower your child to manage their grief constructively.

Seek Professional Help When Necessary:

There may come a time when your child's grief becomes overwhelming, and professional help is needed. Prolonged and Intense Grief, Disrupted Daily Functioning (such as changes in their school performance), Social Withdrawal, or Behavioral Changes such as increased aggression and irritability can be a sign that your child is experiencing overwhelming grief. In some cases, grief can cause emotional regression in children, where they exhibit behaviors typical of a younger age group. Self-Harming Thoughts or Actions: Any mention of self-harm, suicidal thoughts, or a desire to be with the deceased loved one should be taken seriously and addressed immediately with the help of a mental health professional. It is important to recognize when it's time to seek assistance from a grief counselor or therapist who specializes in child grief.

Maintain Boundaries:

Lastly, it is essential to be mindful of your own grief while supporting your child. As experts in funerals and burials, we know that grieving adults may have different needs and may require their space to heal. Striking a balance between your own grief and being there for your child is crucial.

Grief is a journey that no one should face alone, especially children. Remember that supporting a grieving child requires patience, understanding, and unwavering love. Just as we are committed to making the difficult time of loss more manageable for families, you, too, can provide the comfort and guidance your child needs to heal their grieving heart. Remember that you are not alone in this journey, and together, we can help our children find solace and strength in the face of loss.

Do Family Caregivers Need Power of Attorney For A Hospice Patient?

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 21:22:43 GMT

Choosing to give power of attorney (POA) to someone else is a very personal choice. It is certainly something that every family should consider and think about carefully.

What is a POA?

A POA is a document to assign someone (known as an agent) to take care of decisions you may not be able to make at some point due to inability for some reason (like you are out of town), injury or illness.

There are four types of POAs.

Limited – A limited power of attorney gives someone the ability to act in your stead for limited purposes only. This might be something like signing the deed to a property if you are out of town. A limited POA usually ends at a specific time noted in the document.
General – A general power of attorney is more comprehensive. It gives your agent any powers or rights you have yourself. It allows someone to pay your bills or sign documents for you. You don’t have to be incapacitated to have a general POA. This type of POA ends upon death, if you become incapacitated, or if you rescind it.
Durable – A durable power of attorney can be general or limited. It remains in effect even after you become incapacitated. If you do not have a durable POA in effect and you do become incapacitated, no one else can represent you unless a court appoints them. A durable POA stays in effect until death. It can be rescinded if you are not incapacitated.
Springing – A springing power of attorney is like a durable POA. However, it only goes into effect if you are incapacitated. The standards for determining incapacity should be clearly laid out in the POA.

A durable or springing POA is what is meant when discussing having a medical power of attorney (MPOA). However, an MPOA does not replace the regular POA – they are separate legal documents that have different purposes.

Why might family caregivers need a POA?

A power of attorney is an easy way to allow another trusted person to step in and handle a person’s legal or financial matters. In the case of a hospice patient, this might occur if the patient becomes incapacitated for any reason due to injury or illness.

How does a MPOA work?

The powers conveyed by a MPOA vary from state to state and should be examined carefully.

In many states, the MPOA gives an agent the responsibility to manage a person’s personal, financial, property and other legal matters outlined in the MPOA.

Since there are limited types of POAs, though, it is possible that someone might have a POA that does NOT give their agent any authority to make medical decisions. This means that while you may have POA in place, if it is not the right type your agent cannot make medical decisions in your stead. This can include things such as terminating treatment or over-riding a doctor’s decisions.

That is why in many states, in addition to having a regular POA you may also want to have an MPOA in place. This will give your agent the right to act on your behalf in making medical decisions.

An MPOA must be executed while the person giving the MPOA is fully medically and legally competent, just like with a regular POA. And, just like a regular POA, an MPOA can be rescinded if you are not incapacitated.

Can an MPOA or POA ever be over-ridden?

In most circumstances, the answer is No.

There have been occasions when an outside party has intervened between a patient who cannot make decisions for themselves and their agent. Typically, this happens only when the agent, who is often a state agency such as Adult Protective Services, can go before a court of appropriate jurisdiction and get an order to over-ride the POA and/or MPOA. Such situations are unusual.

If the agent acts in what is clearly the best interests of the person who cannot act for themselves, courts are generally reluctant to over-ride a properly drafted POA and/or MPOA.

When should I write a POA?

Many times, this discussion is triggered only when both spouses are living and one of them becomes ill. However, some couples exchange POA with each other while both are still in good health, just to be sure.

While this is not a decision most people want to think about, it is better to do it sooner and while you are in good health rather than waiting until you are in a stressful situation, or possibly unable to make the decision at all.

Does Hospice Allow Physician-Assisted Dying?

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 21:18:51 GMT

A few states have "Death with Dignity” laws on the books. As of 2019, physician-assisted dying (PAD) is allowed in Colorado, the District of Columbia, Hawaii, Maine, New Jersey, Oregon, Vermont, and Washington. It has also been mandated by a court ruling in Montana and California.

Individuals must have a terminal illness and prognosis of less than 6 months to live. In states where PAD is legal, terminally ill adult state residents can voluntarily request and receive a prescription medication so they can die in a peaceful, humane manner in a place and time of their choosing.

A person must be a legal state resident to qualify for this assistance. A person cannot simply go to one of these states and request physician-assisted dying.

A person does NOT have to be in Hospice care, or in any other kind of care institution like a hospital or nursing home, to exercise their right to seek physician-assisted dying.

Not all physicians, even in states where it is allowed, are willing to empower a person to make this choice. However, in these states there are organizations that will help a person who qualifies under the law to find a compassionate physician to help them carry out their wishes.

Hospice provides a range of end-of-life care options, so even in those states that allow physician-assisted dying, Hospice patients have a range of choices. Hospice caregivers from the physician-assisted dying states report that it is not unusual for a patient to change their mind about exercising this right either before or after entering Hospice care. Even patients with a terminal illness who have given up on life sometimes find a reason to want to continue to live as long as possible.

In those states that allow "Death with Dignity”, this choice can be made legally and with assistance, and without any legal consequences for those who participate.

Nothing in life is more of a personal choice than the decision to live every day that is given to us. Or to decide that the time has come for one’s life to end.

Can A Stroke Victim Receive Hospice Care?

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 21:17:14 GMT

There are two kinds of major, potentially life-threatening strokes. In an Ischemic stroke, a blood clot forms that reduces or blocks blood flow to the brain. In a hemorrhagic stroke, a blood vessel in the brain begins to leak or bursts suddenly.

With both types of stroke events, the short and long-term outcome depends largely on how quickly and how well the stroke is treated.

What happens after a stroke?

Unfortunately, many people who experience a stroke do not get treatment in time and face long-term consequences as a result.

After a stroke, it can take a few weeks or months to determine whether recovery is possible, or whether the stoke victim is going to experience an irreversible decline.

Typically, following a stoke, the first weeks or months are spent in a hospital. There, the stroke victim can receive treatment aimed at helping them to recover and go on to lead a life of reasonable quality. This is the goal of hospitalization.

If the stroke victim makes progress toward recovery in the hospital, the family and the doctors may make the decision to move the patient to a skilled nursing or rehabilitation facility. From there, it is hoped that the patient will recover enough that they can go home.

Some stroke victims do manage to recover enough to go home. Others recover somewhat but still need a higher level of care than can be provided at home. In this case, they typically enter a nursing facility.

But it may also turn out that, despite all medical efforts, there is nothing that can be done to reverse the effects of the stroke. Unfortunately, sometimes a stroke victim makes little no progress toward recovery in the hospital setting and continues to decline. In this case, the doctors and the family may begin to discuss hospice care.

What are the requirements for Hospice care for stroke victims?

To be eligible for Hospice care under Medicare guidelines, a physician must certify that the consequences of the stroke are likely to lead to death within six months. They must also certify that medical treatments no longer have a chance of leading to any level of recovery.

Whether or not a stroke victim is eligible for Hospice care is a decision that can only be made by the physician.

Some instances where a physician may determine that a patient is a candidate for Hospice care are if a stroke patient:

is unconscious all or most of the time
cannot eat or take fluids
cannot perform any voluntary physical acts such as lifting an arm, talking, or walking
cannot recognize people
cannot understand simple directions
cannot control bladder or bowel functions.

If doctors see no progress in any of these areas or see a steady decline, then they may conclude that the person is going to die within six months despite any medical treatment.

At that point, since there is nothing more a hospital can do to help with recovery, the goals of medicine change. They go from treatment leading to recovery to treatment making the person’s inevitable death as comfortable, pain-free, and caring as possible. This is what hospice care is dedicated to 100%.

What happens once it is determined that Hospice care is necessary?

Hospice care can be given in a wide range of places. It may be in a nursing home, in a hospice inpatient facility, at home with the family, or in some cases in a special hospital ward dedicated to hospice.

The decision on where the person can receive the best hospice care is made with the involvement of the doctors, the Hospice staff, the family, and perhaps other specialists such as a social worker and in some cases a spiritual counselor.

The Hospice placement decision is not made lightly. It always made with the goal of providing the best care for the dying person.

Once a placement has been determined, the team that will work within the selected hospice setting, in whatever location is deemed best for the patient. The team will work together to ensure that the patient receives the best possible support and care.

It can be very difficult for families to accept that there are no longer any treatment options available for their loved one. However, once it has been determined that switching to Hospice care is best, the family will no longer have to spend a lot of time dealing with insurance issues or making major medical decisions. Hospice care frees family members up to spend most of their time loving, supporting and caring for their family member.

Understanding End-Of-Life Treatment Options

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 21:08:28 GMT

Typically, medicine is focused on extending the life of a patient. However, once a patient is in Hospice care, the treatment options can change.

There are different treatments and interventions that can artificially extend someone’s life when they are near end of life. These are things such as medications, transfusions, radiation, feeding tubes and ventilation for breathing.

During Hospice Care there are often points at which critical decisions must be made about whether to withhold or withdraw treatment for a patient facing a medical crisis. This means that health care works can stop treatment, but only at the request of a patient, their family, or a substitute decision maker.

What medical support is given, or withheld, should be determined by the individual’s wishes. Ideally, those wishes will be expressed to family members and care givers before a major medical event arises.

Learning about your options for end of life care will help you make the best decisions for you and your family.

What does it mean to withhold or withdraw treatment?

Some people want to be allowed to die "naturally”, without any attempt to help them recover from a crisis that occurs during the dying process.

Discontinuing or declining medical care means that artificial treatment methods will stop. This does not mean that symptom control like pain management will stop, however. Medical professionals will do everything they can to allow a patient to feel comfortable. But they will also allow a patient to die naturally from a disease.

Case 1: Withdrawing treatment: Fred wants to stop transfusions

Fred has been receiving transfusions for leukemia. Now, the cancer has spread, and he cannot live without regular transfusions. He continues to get infections that must be treated with antibiotics. However, these are not working well anymore either. He has no energy and sleeps most of the day. Fred lets his healthcare team know that he is not happy and that he wishes to withdraw treatment. Fred decides to stop the transfusions. The next time he gets an infection, he decides to decline antibiotics since they no longer help. Fred’s medical team treats his pain symptoms, but they allow nature to take its course.

Case 2: Withholding treatment: Suzanne’s family declines life-prolonging treatments

While in Hospice care for Alzheimer’s, Suzanne suffers a major heart attack. Suzanne has let her family know that in the event of a major medical crisis, she does not want to have artificial life support put in place. Her family calls EMS and they take Suzanne to the hospital. In the hospital, they discover that Suzanne has suffered a heart attack. The only way that she will have any chance of survival is to be placed on a breathing machine. Suzanne’s family knows this goes against her wishes, so they decline to the treatment. The health care team instead focuses on treating any pain or other symptoms and allow her pass away naturally.

While it can be difficult to think about, it is important to decide when medical treatment will be withdrawn or withheld for a hospice patient. The dying person’s wishes should guide every person and health care provider in determining how to how to best treat the patient in any situation.

What is an Advance Directive?

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 21:06:31 GMT

Aggressive medical care refers to the idea that more health care is better – more tests, more procedures, more specialists. For hospice patients this includes the use of artificial interventions to extend someone’s life when they are near death.

Individuals who have completed advance directives (AD) should have addressed the use of aggressive medical care. This means they have determined which measures they do or do not want taken to keep them alive. If the AD does not address these circumstances, then it is important to contact an attorney to make sure the document is as comprehensive as possible.

The key is to consider all possible events and outcomes that a person with advanced illness may go through. From there, the next step is to decide what they want to happen in each instance. It is important to document these wishes legally in an AD so all decisions made reflect the patient’s wishes.

Be aware that in some states or counties, EMS personnel may be required by law to attempt to resuscitate even if the person has an AD in place and they are shown that document. If the patient has an AD or "Do Not Resuscitate” (DNR) order in place, family members should ask their attorney for advice on whether to call EMS under such circumstances. If the person is in a Hospital or Nursing Home, they will probably have their own policies.

What things should be addressed in an Advance Directive?

It is important to understand the drawbacks and limitations of different types of aggressive medical treatments in order to know which ones, if any, are right for a patient. Here are some instances that need to be addressed in an advance directive:

Respirator : If a person in advanced stages of dying is no longer able to breathe independently, a respirator may be used to assist with breathing.

While a respirator can help keep a person alive, it may also cause the person’s body to undergo unnecessary stress and can cause greater discomfort.
Feeding Tubes : Feeding tubes are sometimes used if a person has a hard time eating or swallowing. This is common in the late stage of many illnesses. However, there is no proof that tube feeding has significant benefits or extends life. Tube feeding can also result in infections and the need for physical restraint if a patient tries to pull the tube out.
IV Hydration : This is liquid given to a person through a needle in a vein. It may temporarily provide fluid when a person can no longer drink but cannot supply the nutrition needed to stay alive. Increased hydration may also make the person uncomfortable because it can cause difficulty with breathing. It is important to know that Lack of hydration is a normal part of the dying process and allows a more comfortable death over a period of days.
CPR : A family may have to decide whether medical professionals should try to revive a person with cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR). CPR is used to restore function when a person’s heart and/or breathing stops. It may include mouth-to-mouth breathing or pressing on the chest to mimic heart function and cause blood to circulate. CPR can be painful and traumatic and may not prolong life. It is typically not recommended when someone is terminally ill.
Do Not Resuscitate : The family can ask the doctor to sign a do-not-resuscitate (DNR) order and place it in the person’s medical chart. A DNR order states that no attempts will be made to revive the person. A separate type of DNR order must be signed and kept in the home or available to EMS if the person wants no "out-of-hospital” resuscitation.

Make sure to discuss these events with your loved ones and create and AD that works best for the patient’s wishes.

What Medical Equipment & Services Can Hospice Order For In-Home Care?

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 21:02:27 GMT

What Medical Equipment & Services Can Hospice Order For In-Home Care?

In-home health care refers to a wide range of health care services that can be given in your home. These services can be provided for many types of illnesses or injuries. Many in-home health care costs are covered under Medicare. However, the costs and eligibility for medical equipment and services vary, depending on the reason for the in-home care.

Medical Equipment

If a Home Health Care patient needs medical equipment, it must be ordered by their doctor. If the equipment order is approved by Medicare, then Medicare will cover 80% of the cost. Unfortunately, not all orders will be approved by Medicare as they may not feel the equipment is necessary.

If a Hospice patient needs medical equipment, it is much easier to order.

Hospice nurses as well as doctors can order just about any kind of medical equipment. The equipment can be delivered to the patient’s home if the nurse or doctor certifies that it is needed for delivery of palliative care for the patient’s terminal condition. Best of all, the cost is covered 100%.

Medicare rarely argues with these decisions. If they do, Hospice staff can typically get such issues resolved quickly.

Personal Care Services

Another important difference between regular in-home health care and hospice care is that Medicare will not pay for personal care services under Home Health Care. These include things such as assistance bathing, going to the toilet, brushing teeth, or nail care.

However, a patient receiving Hospice care at home receives any personal care services they need that relates to palliative care for their terminal condition. Medicare covers the cost 100%.

Palliative care is not limited to drugs that relieve pain – it covers whatever the Hospice nurse or doctor says is needed. Medicare almost never argues about whether such services are needed for hospice patients.

Types of Equipment Covered by Medicare for Hospice Patients

Equipment commonly needed by Hospice patients, ordered by Hospice staff, and paid for 100% by Medicare includes:

Hospital beds with all necessary features
A high-quality pressure-relief mattress
Wheelchair and other specialty mobility devices
Trapeze bar and patient lift
Emergency communication devices
Patient monitors
Walker, four-footed cane, tub seat and bedside commode
Nebulizers
Oxygen and delivery devices
CPAP and BiPAP
High-flow therapy
Suction equipment
Feeding pump

Coping with Grief on Mother's Day

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 20:54:50 GMT

Mother's Day is often a difficult day for those who have lost a mother. While it can bring back joyful memories of your mother, it can also be a day of grief and longing. Below are some tips to help you cope today.

Mother’s Day is often a difficult day for those who have lost a mother. While it can bring back joyful memories of your mother, it can also be a day of grief and longing. Below are some tips to help you cope today.

Know that grief is natural and unpredictable. Even if your mother has been gone for some time, that doesn’t mean that you can’t or won’t still feel grief, especially on a day dedicated to her memory. You may feel anger, sadness, longing, guilt, or something totally different. Know that any of these emotions are normal and take some time to process them.

Talk to family members and friends. Let them know how you are feeling. Share memories of your mother if you wish. Just let them know that you need to talk. If you have other friends who have lost a mother, it can be good to talk to them as they are more likely to understand how you feel.

Make a plan. You may want to try to do something to avoid other Mother’s Day celebrations today actively. Take a hike, read a book, or even do nothing at all. It’s up to you, and there is no right or wrong answer here.

Make time for memories. For some people, it can be helpful to reflect on the times you shared with your mother. Pull out old pictures and mementos. Eat one of her favorite dishes. Write letters or create artwork in her memory.

It’s ok to change your mind. You may think you will feel a certain way, and then you wake up and feel totally differently about the day. That’s fine. You may have planned to visit your mother’s gravesite today and then decide that you aren’t up for it. Or you may plan to be alone and then realize you wish for the company of others. It’s ok to make last-minute plans; make sure you are taking time for yourself and doing what is best for you.

Know that while today may be a difficult day for you, you are not alone in your grief. Give yourself some time to miss and honor your mother today if that is what you choose.

Coping with Grief and Loss on Valentine's Day

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 20:52:40 GMT

Valentine's Day is a day celebrating the important relationships in your life. However, it can also bring up memories that trigger feelings of grief for those that have lost a special loved one. Here are some ways to cope with grief and loss this Valentine's Day.

Valentine’s Day is a day celebrating the important relationships in your life. However, it can also bring up memories that trigger feelings of grief for those that have lost a special loved one.

One thing to keep in mind is that, while it can be easy to isolate yourself when you feel sad, prolonged isolation may prevent you from being able to work through your grief. While some time for reflection can be good, it is important that you find a healthy balance. Find ways to spend time with those who can support you.

Here are some ways to cope with grief and loss this Valentine’s Day.

Schedule a phone call or virtual chat . If you can’t spend time with friends or family in person, reach out to schedule some time either on the phone or through video chat. You can even pick an activity to do together such as baking, cooking, or a craft.
Talk to a professional or support group . It can also be helpful to attend a therapy session or support group session. This gives you time to talk with others who are going through similar experiences.
Go to the cemetery . This may not be the best choice for everyone, but for some, it may be therapeutic to visit your loved one’s grave on Valentine’s Day. Read a poem or letter, leave flowers or simply sit and reflect.
Treat yourself. If you need an excuse to indulge in a little self-care, Valentine’s Day is a great opportunity. Brighten your home with flowers, order take out from your favorite restaurant or take a day trip to your favorite spot.
Continue as usual. There is no reason why you need to do anything special at all on Valentine’s Day if you don’t feel like it.

If you are supporting someone who has lost a special loved one, remember that you can reach out to them as well. Set up a phone call or visit and let them know you are thinking about them.

Valentine’s Day will never be quite the same without your loved one, but whatever you do, be kind to yourself and know that your feelings of sadness are normal. And don’t hesitate to reach out to others if you need some extra support.

Tips for writing a condolence letter

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 20:49:57 GMT

Writing a letter of sympathy or condolence is one of the most difficult things to do.

Writing a letter of sympathy or condolence is one of the most difficult things to do. It can be hard to put your feelings into words. However, this simple gesture can mean a lot to someone who is grieving. In this time of social distancing, a letter can be a physical reminder of your love and support when you aren’t able to be with your loved one in person.

Here are some tips for this task.

1) Write a personal note by hand . While you can always pick up a store-bought card, a handwritten note is usually more effective. Try to write your note using your own voice. Don’t feel like you need to say anything fancy, just speak from your heart.

2) Express sympathy. Start off by expressing your sadness at hearing about their loss.

3) Acknowledge the loss and refer to the deceased by name. You don’t need to dance around the issue. Your loved one knows why you are writing them a letter. It’s ok to be direct and say that you are sorry someone they loved has died. It’s also good to name the person who has passed.

4) Include your favorite memory of the deceased. This gives your loved one something to laugh or smile about. It also lets your loved one know that the loss is felt by others. If you don’t know the person your loved one lost, it’s ok to skip this step.

5) If you offer to help, make it specific. Even in this time of social distancing, there are still chores you can help with. Say, "I’d like to have a meal delivered to your house on Wednesday" or "I’d like to come mow your lawn this weekend."

6) Don’t try to explain the loss or compare your loss with theirs. Telling someone that it is "God’s plan" or "God’s will" in the midst of grief will likely make them only feel worse. And since everyone’s grief is different, comparing their loss to yours can seem callous and unfeeling. Even if you think you know how they feel, you may not.

Supporting Grieving Family Members in the Age of Social Distancing

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 20:47:29 GMT

Supporting grieving family members is a difficult task and social distancing has made that task even harder. Fortunately, there are still plenty of ways to show your support.

Supporting grieving family members is a difficult task and social distancing has made that task even harder.

However, this does not mean that grief and loss are taking a break. On the contrary, the fact that we are more isolated now means that it is more important than ever to reach out to and support those who are grieving.

Fortunately, there are still plenty of ways to show your support.

Help with funeral arrangements. Planning a funeral is a difficult task. If you can’t be there in person, you can still support your loved one in these decisions. If the decisions are made via phone call, offer to be on the call with them. Also, reassure your loved one that even though having a funeral service may feel difficult, it is still possible and even beneficial at this time.
Phone calls. Never underestimate the value of a listening ear. Don’t forget to call and check in frequently.
Video chats . If you have the capability, video chatting can be a great tool.
Have a meal delivered. If you can’t prepare food to take to your loved one during this time, you can contact a local restaurant to provide a food delivery.
Have groceries delivered . If you know their grocery preferences, place an order for them for delivery. Include easy to prepare meals in the delivery.
Schedule to have someone take care of routine tasks. There may still be services available that are doing routine tasks such as dog walking or laundry care.
Send a letter, email or ecard. Sending a heartfelt message is a great way to show your love and support.
Send flowers. Many flower delivery services are still operating and can safely deliver flowers to a loved one’s home.
Drop off a care package or have something delivered. You might be able to drop off some special items that your loved one appreciates or have them delivered.
Do something together "virtually.” So many places are providing free online content right now. Take a virtual museum trip together. Pick out a movie to watch together. Try out a new recipe together. Use a program like Facetime, Zoom or GoToMeeting to share your experience live on your computer, tablet or smart phone.

Understanding the Need to Grieve and Mourn

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 20:41:39 GMT

To understand the necessity of grief and mourning, it is important to understand the difference between the two.

To understand the necessity of grief and mourning, it is important to understand the difference between the two. The terms are often used interchangeably, but they do not mean the same thing.

Grief is the deep sorrowful feeling that comes when dealing with a loss. We can grieve the loss of many things, from experiences to people. It's a strong emotion that is unavoidable in most instances of loss. Grief is private and internal, and everyone feels their grief differently.

Mourning , on the other hand, is the outward expression of grief. Mourning takes the internal grief you are feeling and makes it public and shared. One of the greatest gifts we have is the ability to share our grief with others through mourning.

It takes courage to mourn and it isn't easy. Many times, we are reluctant to feel the pain of loss. Or we may feel like it’s selfish or weak if we acknowledge our feelings of grief.

However, grief specialists say that one of the first steps to healing is to mourn. The physical act of mourning essentially kicks off the grieving process, allowing you to start to heal.

That's why funeral services are so important even in today's uncertain times. They allow family and friends to come together to share in their grief even if only from a distance. But this social connection, in turn, allows you to mourn your loss, to be comforted and surrounded by love.

In times of crisis, it can seem like there are "bigger things to worry about" than your grief and mourning. But that is not the case. The need to grieve does not just go away. It can't be pushed aside.

One of the greatest things you can do is give yourself the space to feel grief and mourn.

Ways to Support a Grieving Family During COVID-19

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 20:39:34 GMT

When a loved one is grieving a loss, one of the most important things they need is the love and support of those around them. Unfortunately, the COVID-19 virus is making it difficult to show empathy and support in traditional ways.

What are some alternative ways to support a griever during the COVID-19 pandemic? When a loved one is grieving a loss, one of the most important things they need is the love and support of those around them. Unfortunately, the COVID-19 virus is making it difficult to show empathy and support in traditional ways.

It is still vitally important to reach out to those who are grieving, possibly even more so, as they will likely find themselves more isolated than in the past.

Please note that, depending on the mandates from your city, state or the CDC it is possible that some of these suggestions may not be viable options in the future. However, we hope that they give you some ideas on ways you can support those around you even in this difficult time.

Sign the online condolence book. Our funeral home has an online condolence book for all of our families. You can leave a message online to let someone know you are thinking of them.
Never underestimate the power of your words. If you do attend a funeral, you will likely not be able hug or hold hands. Instead, make sure to express what you are feeling in words.
Provide a listening ear. One thing that never changes (and requires no physical touch) is the need for the griever to be able to express themselves without judgement.
Reach out by phone call, text or video chat regularly. One of the most important things you can do to support someone who is grieving is to continue to reach out to them. Video chat can be a good stand in for a face-to-face meeting for the time being.
Schedule meal delivery. It is also common when someone loses a loved one to provide support in the form of meals. If you are unable to make food and deliver it, consider scheduling a delivery of food from a local restaurant.
Send a card in the mail. Those who are grieving will often appreciate receiving a handwritten card in the mail. It’s nice for the griever to receive something physical they can hold and read again and again.
Have comfort items or flowers delivered. Currently, many retailers are still offering delivery for items. You can create a care package and have it delivered to the griever’s house. You can also likely schedule to have flowers delivered to someone’s home.

If you need any other suggestions please do not hesitate to contact us, we are always here to help.

Options for sending a video condolence from your family

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 20:35:58 GMT

It is important to send your condolences to friends or family following a loss.

It is important to send your condolences to friends or family following a loss. Unfortunately, social distancing is making it harder to share your feelings. A video condolence card is a great way to show someone that you care.

There are many options these days for sending a video condolence from your family to family or friends.

1) Skype – Skype isn’t just for video chatting. You can use it to send video messages as well. If the person you want to chat with isn’t online, you simply need to click the video message button to record and send a video greeting up to 3 minutes long.

2) Facebook – If you both have Facebook, sending a video message is easy. To do this, open the messages app and select the person you want to start a conversation with. Tap Attach. Choose the camera to start recording a video or attach one you’ve already recorded. Then tap Send.

3) Instagram – Instagram works similarly to Facebook. Both people must be on Instagram. Click on the message icon to start a message. Click on the camera button to bring up the camera. Then, hold down the button to record a message. After that you can select who you want to send it to.
4) Your phone – You might easily forget that you can record videos on your phone and then email or text them to someone. In this case, the videos typically must be short, but it can work if you don’t have another way. You can also upload the video to a storage cloud space such as Google Drive where it can be easily downloaded. This works well if you have a larger video.

5) American Greetings – The American Greetings website has lots of free sympathy ecards you can send. If you want to send something on the lighter side, they have cards you can personalize. Supply some information about the recipient such as likes and hobbies, and the website will generate a personalized card for them.

6) Animoto Video Cards – Add photos and videos to create an animated digital card. You must be a member to make cards, but there is a free option that you can use.

Sending grieving friends or family a video condolence card is a great way to share your feelings and show them you are thinking about them.

Having a funeral service in the age of social distancing

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 20:34:08 GMT

The ritual of a funeral service can be a source of great comfort.

When a loved one passes away, funeral services are an important part of the grieving process. They allow us to mourn our loss publicly.

Social distancing has changed many things about our world. One thing it hasn’t changed, though, is that loved ones will pass away and we will feel grief from these losses.

It can seem like having a funeral service during these times is too difficult, which can lead families to put off having a funeral service entirely.

With so many changes and uncertainties, the ritual of a funeral service can be a source of great comfort. In fact, it may be more important than ever to have a funeral service as it allows us to feel a sense of closure and control in what is otherwise a time when we likely feel very out of control. Even if you decide on cremation, you can still have a funeral service for your loved one.

There will be some differences to funeral services during this time. Due to social distancing, family and friends may not be able to travel to the location of the service. In addition, group gatherings are limited in size.

However, this does not mean that it is impossible to hold a funeral service. On the contrary, the age of social media has made it possible to include just about anyone who wants to be part of the service. These days, it is possible to securely and safely live stream the funeral service so that friends and family can be a part of the service no matter where they live.

Funeral homes are also making accommodations, such as allowing a rotation of mourners to come through during visitation hours, provided they follow social distancing protocols.

While this may not be the ideal situation, this time of mourning is important and delaying it entirely can magnify your grief and delay the healing process.

It is important to remember that these social distancing protocols are not permanent. For now, you can hold a small, family-only service that is live streamed to others. Then, once this time is over, you can hold a second, larger and more fitting farewell on a later date – perhaps on a birthday, anniversary or holiday.

Is it still OK to send flowers to a family's home during COVID-19?

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 20:32:19 GMT

Flowers are a visual expression of sympathy, grief and love.

Flowers are a visual expression of sympathy, grief and love. They are a great way to show your support to a family who is grieving the loss of a loved one.

However, during the COVID-19 outbreak, you may wonder if this is still possible and even safe.

Families who experience a loss during this time need just as much support, if not more, than they did prior to the outbreak. Sending flowers is a simple task that can mean a lot to someone who has experienced a loss.

The good news is many floral delivery companies are still operating. While their store fronts may be closed, many are able to fulfill orders online. They are also taking proper precautions to keep their employees and customers safe.

One thing to keep in mind is that things are constantly changing, so make sure to call your chosen florist and confirm all details before ordering.

What has changed?

Many delivery companies are now offering no-contact delivery or pick-up. This means that your order would be placed and paid for over the phone or online. Then, the order would be delivered and left outside or picked up outside the store to limit the exposure.

Flower choices may be limited at this time. Due to vendor issues and shortages, it will likely be more difficult to choose specific flowers. But this shouldn’t keep you from having flowers delivered. Your florist will still be able to create a beautiful arrangement with what they have available to them.

Is it safe to send and receive flowers?

According to information published on The World Health Organization’s website: "the likelihood of an infected person contaminating commercial goods is low and the risk of catching the virus that causes COVID-19 from a package that has been moved, travelled, and exposed to different conditions and temperature is also low.”

At this time, there have been no reports that suggest COVID-19 can be transmitted by packaging or through fresh products like flowers.

If you have concerns or questions, visit the website of your chosen florist or call to see what specific precautions they are taking.

Are funeral homes essential in a time of crisis?

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 20:29:17 GMT

Because death will always be part of life, funeral homes will continue to stay open to serve the needs of their communities.

Now, more than ever, funeral homes are essential.

Because death will always be part of life, funeral homes will continue to stay open to serve the needs of their communities. And funeral directors will continue to do what they have always done – provide comfort and strength to families going through loss and crisis.

As the coronavirus crisis impacts the world, we are having to change many things about our lives, including the rituals surrounding how we say goodbye to our loved ones.

This doesn’t mean, however, that our rituals need to stop. It just means these rituals, like many things, must be altered.

Grief and the need to mourn do not take a break simply because the rest of life is on pause.

Funeral homes have always been in the practice of dealing with those who passed away due to infectious illness. In many ways for them this is business as usual. However, funeral homes are taking extra precautions during this time to protect their employees. They may wear masks themselves or request that people attending a visitation or service wear masks.

Funeral directors are also making adjustments and providing options to families in order to allow for mourning but still keep everyone safe. Funeral homes are scaling back on how they memorialize their loved ones by changing their service protocols. For example, some have had to limit the number of mourners at any given time to comply with federal guidelines.

Many homes are live streaming their services to allow those who could not attend the ability to be participate in the celebration of life for someone they have lost.

Funeral homes continue to stay on top of current CDC, WHO, state and federal guidelines to ensure that they are providing a safe environment for all.

If you have any questions or concerns, do not hesitate to reach out to your funeral director.

COVID-19 Information - How Our Funeral Home Is Responding and What You Can Do

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 20:27:22 GMT

To our valued families and community, we want to inform you of the steps we are taking in response to COVID-19 (coronavirus) to keep you, your loved ones, and our staff safe.

The CDC and National Funeral Directors Association have put forth guidelines to help slow the spread of and help limit all of our exposure to COVID-19 and we feel it a prudent course of action to follow their recommendations.

At this time these are recommendations only and are not mandatory. These recommendations are subject to change as new information and CDC guidelines become available. In the event local, state or federal mandates are issued we will abide by those mandates.

For large events and mass gatherings, which includes visitations and funeral services, the CDC and NFDA have recommended the following.

The CDC has also recommended that all people practice social distancing, self-quarantine measures and good hand washing hygiene.

To help accomplish these measures, we are making the following recommendations to the families we serve.

We recommend a private family service and will help schedule a memorial service for a later date.
We are here to help families create personalized graveside services, in a safer, outdoor environment, that will follow the guidelines of social distancing.
We recommend that family members who are sick not attend arrangement conferences, visitations or services.
We recommend that funeral arrangement conferences be attended by essential family members only and are working on ways to offer virtual or remote arrangement planning options.

We take great pride in our level of service and in our commitment to our families and community. These safety measures will help protect our community and our team members as well. Please know that in this difficult and stressful time we are here to assist in any way we can while we keep families and our funeral home staff members safe. While we believe it is important to avoid panic, we are in an environment where many people come through the funeral home each day. There are also older members of our community-often members of the immediate family-who are at greater risk. Therefore, you will see some precautionary measures being put into place if we are assisting you with a funeral. We are constantly communicating with other funeral homes, assisted living facilities, nursing homes, hospice facilities, religious facilities and the medical examiners in various states about best practices during this crisis.

What you can do:

If you are sick, please stay at home. Please call the family upon a loss of their family member to express your condolences or post a message on our website.
If you have older family members, people in your family who are immunocompromised or/and people with underlying conditions, please encourage them to stay home.
Limit contact with other funeral attendees, even with family. This includes not shaking hands, not kissing (even on the cheeks), and not hugging. Consider elbow bumps or other alternatives in order to greet people.
Practice "social distancing” by sitting further apart at funerals, and not leaning in close to whisper to other people.
If you have a cough or sneeze, please cover your nose and mouth with a tissue, dispose of it and wash your hands immediately.
As always, wash your hands carefully and WELL.

Safety is a critical concern and we are regularly communicating with the National Funeral Directors Association (NFDA), CDC, local government offices and other organizations. This is an evolving situation so we will be posting updates and information articles on our website and Facebook page.

If you have questions or need any assistance, do not hesitate to contact us.

Do I still have to go to a funeral home to make arrangements during COVID-19?

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 20:23:40 GMT

The coronavirus is forcing us to make alterations to the way we do many things, including how we make funeral arrangements.

When a loved one passes, it’s common practice to go to the funeral home to make arrangements. However, with current travel restrictions in place this may not be possible. It is also likely that if you are following social distancing you may wish to limit your contact with others.

Funeral homes are very fortunate in that they can adapt their practices to our current situation. In many cases you do not need to go to the funeral home to make arrangements. Most funeral arrangements can be done over the phone or online. Funeral directors are very experienced in what questions to ask and what information they need to gather. They will easily be able to get your preferences and choices over the phone, through email or via a video chat. Many funeral homes have digital product catalogues to help choose things like caskets or urns. This allows you to make decisions in the privacy of your own home.

If you do wish to go to the funeral home to make arrangements, it is likely this will be an available option. However, the funeral home will limit the number of people who can attend the meeting. They may also limit the meeting to immediate family only.

One thing to keep in mind is that you will, most likely, have to go to the funeral home in person to sign the final contract and make a payment. Fortunately, this can be done quickly and with minimal contact.

If you have any questions or concerns, don’t hesitate to reach out to your funeral director. They will be able to explain their procedures and what they are doing to keep families safe during this time.

Can someone still be buried if they passed away from the COVID-19 virus?

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 20:21:45 GMT

While there are many changes and uncertainties in our lives lately, one thing that remains the same is that funeral homes will continue to hold funeral services and burials.

Yes, if someone passes away from the COVID-19 virus they can still be buried.

While there are many changes and uncertainties in our lives lately, one thing that remains the same is that funeral homes will continue to hold funeral services and burials.

Funeral homes have been dealing with infectious diseases for as long as they have been around. While the COVID-19 virus is new, there are many other infectious diseases that people pass away from. Funeral homes are very experienced in how to protect themselves, families and their communities.

Funeral employees will likely have to take new precautions, such as wearing a face mask when preparing the deceased for burial, but they are still able to do burials safely. Embalming is also still safe.

You will notice some new precautions for families, however, if you do attend a funeral or burial. Due to social distancing, the number of people allowed inside a funeral home for a service is limited by CDC guidelines and state regulations. And that number includes the funeral director and an officiant.

Funeral homes will take other precautions as well, such as not allowing anyone to touch the deceased and encouraging family members to keep a 6-foot distance apart from each other.

If you have any questions or concerns, don’t hesitate to reach out to your funeral director.

How are a Rosary Service and a Vigil or Wake Different?

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 18:51:07 GMT

Paying tribute to your loved one may take on many different forms. Catholic families may choose to hold a rosary service, while other Christian denominations may opt for a wake.

Paying tribute to your loved one may take on many different forms. Catholic families may choose to hold a rosary service, while other Christian denominations may opt for a wake. Depending on the background and preference of the deceased, as well as that of their bereaving loved ones, there may be a rosary service or wake planned to accompany the funeral.

Rosary Service
In Catholic tradition, praying the rosary is a multiple-step process, including praying many well-known prayers. They include the Apostles' Creed, the Hail Mary, the Lord's Prayer, and the Glory Be to the Father. In some cases, it may also include the Fatima Prayer.

The rosary service is traditionally a Catholic funeral rite that is held on the evening prior to the burial of a loved one. This service is open to anyone wishing to commemorate the deceased. The family will use this time to pray the rosary and receive visitors. The ritual may be held during a vigil service or wake.

Vigil Service or Wake
These events are typically held the evening prior to a burial. They are used to offer condolences to the grieving family and share memories of the person who has passed. Such services are frequently held at a funeral home, as they often include a viewing of the deceased. However, they were traditionally held at the home of the person who has passed.

The term "wake" originally referred to a nighttime prayer vigil. But modernly, it is used to refer to the social interactions and gathering that accompany a funeral. A wake or vigil is considered a social right, which recognizes that the loss of a person greatly impacts the group as a whole.

When preparing to honor a loved one who has passed, it is important to know what to expect of services. Consider the religious or faith background of the person who has passed, as well as that of the remaining family. Be respectful of their preferences, and consider these differences when commemorating and remembering the deceased.

What Do the Folds of the Flag Mean?

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 18:41:45 GMT

There is much depth and beauty even to something as simple as the folding of a flag; remember this rich symbolism the next time you see a U.S. veteran honored in this way.

In the memorial service of any U.S. military veteran, the American flag plays a vibrant role. One of the key moments in the ceremony comes when the flag that’s draped over the casket is taken up and carefully folded into a triangle shape.

What you may not know is that the flag is folded a total of 13 times—and that each fold of the flag has rich symbolic meaning.

The first fold symbolizes life.
The second fold indicates a belief in everlasting life.
The third fold honors the service member who has departed, after sacrificing a portion of their life to keep the rest of us safe and secure.
The fourth fold denotes our weaker nature as citizens, and our ongoing trust in God to guide us.
The fifth fold stands for the country itself, and our belief that, though the country may sometimes be wrong or right, it’s always our country.
The sixth fold represents the heart, with which we pledge allegiance and honor our nation.
The seventh fold is a tribute to the Armed Forces that safeguard our land.
The eighth fold represents the person who has descended into the Valley of Death’s Shadow; it also honors the mother, for whom the flag is flown on Mother’s Day.
The ninth fold honors the character of womanhood and the men and women who together have shaped this country.
The tenth fold represents the father, for he, too, has sacrificed his sons and daughters to protect this land.
The eleventh fold is seen, in the eyes of Jewish individuals, as representing the seal of King David and the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.
The twelfth fold is significant to Christian believers, who see it as an emblem of eternal life and of the Trinity.
The final fold of the flag allows us to see only the stars, which remind us of our nation’s identity as "one nation under God.”

There is much depth and beauty even to something as simple as the folding of a flag; remember this rich symbolism the next time you see a U.S. veteran honored in this way.

Can a Family Request Patriot Guard Riders?

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 18:39:59 GMT

The Patriot Guard Riders are a group of individuals who will surround a military funeral, and specifically the procession, by forming a kind of human shield.

In 2005, an organization called the Patriot Guard Riders was founded. Their mission was simple: In an era of political division, they wanted to ensure that military families could mourn their lost service members - privately, peacefully, and without being disrupted by protesters.

The Patriot Guard Riders are a group of individuals who will surround a military funeral, and specifically the procession, by forming a kind of human shield. The Riders take to motorcycles, cars, and trucks, and provide coverage around the mourners, ensuring their time of reflection and bereavement can proceed without interruption.

Even if you don’t think there will be any trouble at your loved one’s funeral service, having the Riders on hand to show solidarity and respect can be a meaningful gesture. Families can request the Patriot Guard Riders show up; the best place to start is by going to www.patriotguard.com and selecting the option to Request the PGR.

In addition to supplying your contact information, you will also be asked if you need the Riders for an Honor Mission or a HOTH (Help on the Homefront) Mission. The former is for heroes who have died. The latter is for events meant to celebrate heroes still living - e.g., parades, etc.

Also note that, in cases of a deceased service member, you will need to supply the Riders with the corresponding serial number, simply verifying that your loved one has died.

Not every military funeral service needs the Riders to be present, but it’s an option that’s good to know about. If you have any additional questions about coordinating the presence of the Patriot Guard Riders, contact your funeral director and ask!

Are Commemorative Bibles Available From The VFW?

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 18:38:01 GMT

Are Commemorative Bibles Available From The VFW? Here's another instance where a knowledgeable Funeral Director can help expedite potentially complicated paperwork for a family.

Here's another instance where a knowledgeable Funeral Director can help expedite potentially complicated paperwork for a family. What the local chapter VFW Chaplin needs to see is a copy of the obituary and evidence that the Veteran was a VFW member. With that, the VFW will do all it can do provide the family with a Bible in commemoration of their loved one. If the family can’t locate membership evidence, the Funeral Director can reach out to the VFW Chaplin on behalf of the family. Most Funeral Directors have contact with the VFW Chaplin several times a year and all it may take is a phone call to locate the appropriate records.

Once the paperwork is assembled, a simple letter of request from the family, often written by the Funeral Director on the family’s behalf, is all that it will take. Since this is not a government program, the VFW relies on donated Bibles and donated funds to provide Bibles, but there haven’t been any reports of instances where a Veteran’s family who asked for a commemorative Bible was not given one.

Other organizations that families can request Bibles from in memory of their deceased Veteran include the Armed Services Ministry of the American Bible Society and The Gideons .

Who Receives the Folded Flag?

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 18:36:16 GMT

When the American flag is taken from the casket or urn at a military funeral and has been carefully and symbolically folded into the familiar blue triangle with white stars blazing on the top.

When the American flag is taken from the casket or urn at a military funeral and has been carefully and symbolically folded into the familiar blue triangle with white stars blazing on the top, there is usually no issue about who it will be presented to. Tradition as well as military regulations say that the flag is to be presented to the next of kin. All active duty soldiers designate a next of kin for many reasons – insurance, pay, benefits, and other important matters. But it is also their next of kin who will receive the flag that covers them whether they die in the line of duty, or after a lifetime of service.

Depending upon the family’s wishes, the flag that drapes a Veteran’s casket might be ceremonially raised and lowered on a flagpole before it is draped over their casket or urn and then folded for a final presentation to next of kin. The official US flag is made from 100% American-grown cotton and is not meant to be permanently displayed outside. The ceremonial folding and presentation is intended to make the flag a permanent indoor memorial to the fallen Veteran.

In the case of a veteran with no living family members, there will always be a military representative, either active duty, retired military or from the VA, who will accept the flag in memory of their service and sacrifice. With so many of America’s Veterans dying without family or home, it is becoming increasingly common for a homeless veteran’s funeral to be attended by hundreds of other veterans and even civilians, all strangers but all wanting to be there for their fallen comrade.

Remember the Meaning of Memorial Day

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 18:34:18 GMT

What can you do to observe Memorial Day in a meaningful way? Discover some options by reading this blog post.

It's easy to think of Memorial Day as the unofficial kickoff to summer - a holiday in late May that gives us the chance to get together with friends and loved ones, grill some delicious meats, and perhaps even take a dip in the pool.

As you consider ways to have fun with your family this Memorial Day, you might also think about ways you can honor those who have served and sacrificed. A traditional way to commemorate fallen soldiers it to wear red poppies, which symbolize those who have sacrificed everything on the field of battle.

Something else you can do is display an American flag. The tradition is to fly your flag at half-mast from sunrise until noon, commemorating deceased soldiers; then to raise it to full height for the remainder of the day, as a salute to soldiers still living.

Of course, you can also visit a cemetery where veterans are buried, perhaps leaving flowers, planting some small flags, or simply lingering for a few moments of remembrance.

Finally, consider making a donation to a non-profit organization that works with veterans, ensuring that the people who sacrifice so much to keep our country safe are properly cared for and honored upon their return to civilian life. This is one of the best ways of all to observe Memorial Day in a meaningful way.

What is the history behind the three-rifle volley used for military funerals?

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 18:32:39 GMT

When people think of military funerals there are a number of different honors that may occur. A common honor is the three-rifle volley, often incorrectly called a 21-gun salute.

A 21-gun salute is the highest honor rendered. It comes from a naval tradition when a warship would signal that it wasn’t hostile by firing its cannon out to sea until there was no more ammunition. There have been changes over the years to the 21-gun salute, but today the military fires it in honor of a national flag, the sovereign or chief of state of a foreign nation, a member of a reigning royal family, and the president. The 21-gun salute is also fired on Washington’s birthday, President’s Day, Memorial Day, Independence Day, and for the funeral of a president or ex-president.

The three-rifle volley that most people are familiar with is provided by a firing party which, according to the American Legion "consists of no less than three and no more than seven rifles firing three volleys in memory of the fallen.” This comes from the tradition where firing three volleys on the battlefield meant that the dead were cleared and properly cared for.

However, to do the three-rifle volley there must be enough military personnel present. If there are only two military personnel present there are not enough for the three-rifle volley to be completed. Many funerals today may have only two service members present. The service members will, however, perform other honors such as playing "Taps” and folding and presenting of the American flag to the deceased’s family.

There are some instances where three-rifle volleys still occur. For example, Arlington National Cemetery includes a firing party at all of its military funerals. Other national cemeteries may allow organizations such as the American Legion or Veterans of Foreign Wars to provide a firing party.

If your loved one is eligible for military honors and you are interested in having a firing party present you should check with your cemetery, your local veterans’ organization, or your local branch of the U.S. Armed Forces to learn more.

What is a Military Medallion, and What Does One Look Like?

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 18:30:46 GMT

What should families know about acquiring a military medallion, for use on a privately purchased headstone?

When a member of the United States military dies, it's only natural that surviving family members would want to offer the appropriate recognition and honor. One way of doing this is to ensure that the deceased’s final resting place is clearly marked with his or her veteran status.

Some military headstones and grave markers make this veteran status clear; such headstones and grave markers are made available by the VA. You can learn more by asking your funeral director or a representative of the nearest VFW or American Legion.

What happens, though, when the deceased has a previously purchased headstone - one that does not specify their military service and their honors as a veteran?

For these cases, the VA also makes available military medallions, which can be adhered to the headstone to denote the veteran status of the deceased.

These medallions are small, ornate markers, and they are made to be quite durable. As you consider a military medallion for your deceased loved one, it’s important to remember that a couple of different types of medallion are available - one for all veterans and another for Medal of Honor recipients. Also note that these medallions are available in different sizes, meaning you can select the one that best fits with the headstone that’s been purchased.

You can see the options for yourself by visiting the VA website - and again, if you have specific questions about procuring or using these medallions, you can always reach out to your local funeral home director.

Don’t overlook this simple yet elegant way to pay your beloved veteran with the honor and distinction that is their due.

What is a Flag Detail, and What Does One Look Like?

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 18:28:41 GMT

At a military funeral service, the flag detail plays a number of important functional and ceremonial roles.

The United States flag plays a prominent role in military funerals. As such, it’s important to have officers on hand who can not only ensure that the fallen service member is properly honored but also see to it that the flag is handled with care and respect.

These officers are collectively known as the flag detail and may include a number of officers tasked with different activities. A couple of members of the detail will be responsible for handling the flag and folding it at the proper time. (The folds of the flag are rich in symbolic significance, and it’s vitally important that this action is taken on with the requisite attention.) These flag folders will then furnish the flag to the deceased’s next of kin.

There are other important roles included in the flag detail, including pallbearers - whose job is to make sure that the fallen service member’s casket is transported respectfully and carefully.

In other words, the flag detail serves in both a symbolic role and a functional one. The members of the flag detail bring a lot of ceremonial significance to the military funeral service, but their actions are also necessary for keeping the events of the service moving forward.

As you consider the funeral arrangements for your deceased service member, you may have questions about how to arrange the proper flag detail, and what tasks you can expect them to perform during the service. Reaching out to the local VFW or American Legion can provide you with the answers you need. Alternatively, you can always ask your funeral home director for their insights on the matter.

The Facts About Military Funeral Honors: What to Expect

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 18:26:46 GMT

The rendering of final honors to a departed military member is one of the most profound demonstrations of honor, respect, and gratitude that a soldier can bestow upon a fallen comrade.

The rendering of final honors to a departed military member is one of the most profound demonstrations of honor, respect, and gratitude that a soldier can bestow upon a fallen comrade. However, there is a process that must be followed in order to take advantage of this benefit. Here is what to expect when military honors are requested.

In a previous article, eligibility issues were discussed. Once this has been ascertained and military service has been verified, your funeral director can help you with the rest of the process.

Federal law states that every eligible veteran must receive a military funeral honors ceremony, including the folding and presenting of the U.S. flag and the playing of Taps, should the family request it. These ceremonies must be requested in advance. Know that a veteran's family must request an American Flag as part of the presentation. To do this, complete an Application for U.S. Flag for Burial Purposes form and provide a copy along with the veteran's discharge papers. Additionally, a Presidential Memorial Certificate must be requested if it is wanted by the family. This is an engraved paper certificate signed by the current president and honors the memory of the deceased veteran. A family is able to apply for this at any VA regional office or by U.S. mail.

When you attend the service, a flag will be draped over the coffin, and if there is a chapel service, the flag will be pulled away from the head of the coffin so it can be open for viewing. Whether the service entails a gravesite visit or not, the honors will include a choice of service, military rifle salute, folding of the flag, presentation of the flag, and the playing of Taps.

For more information about arranging military funeral honors for your loved one, please contact one of our trusted funeral directors.

Will the Funeral Home Help Me Process My VA Burial Benefits?

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 18:25:00 GMT

This is a standard service offered without charge, by law, by all funeral homes. Burial benefits apply to all honorably-discharged Veterans.

This is a standard service offered without charge, by law, by all funeral homes. Burial benefits apply to all honorably-discharged Veterans and may include, depending on the Veteran and their family’s wishes, everything from headstones and memorial plaques to an honor guard and bugler for the burial ceremony itself. There are also possible financial benefits associated with burial costs, and an experienced funeral director understands how to process those applications most effectively.

Veterans and their families who take advantage of a trusted funeral director’s services in advance of their time of need will be able to avoid most of the normal frustrations of dealing with the VA, military and civilian "benefits bureaucracies”. For example, prior to applying for any burial benefits, the Veteran or their family must have a copy of the Veteran’s DD-214, and many people either can’t find those discharge papers or have lost them. Helping to obtain this critical document is often the first task that a funeral director accomplishes for the family. Also, if the Veteran has other forms of burial coverage, such as company or lodge benefits, the director is the right person to coordinate obtaining the maximum benefits owed from every source, not just from the VA and the Branch of Service.

Many families these days are going beyond the standard military burial for their honored Veteran and are creating lovely and lasting memorials that commemorate their service and their lives. Funeral homes and cemeteries often have special areas for Veterans and family members and are always happy to discuss personalized burial and commemoration plans, especially if there is plenty of time to plan ahead.

Why Does the Post Office Carry the Military Flags?

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 18:23:26 GMT

Why does the VA send out military burial flags via the USPS? Get the answers in this post.

When a member or veteran of the United States military dies, a military flag is issued to the surviving family members. This is one of the most significant ways in which our country honors its fallen service men and women. The flag is typically dispatched to the family, or directly to the funeral home, via the United States Postal Service - but have you ever stopped to wonder why this is the case?

There’s a simple explanation for it. The military burial flags are sent out by the Department of Veteran Affairs, and more than half a million of them are dispatched every single year! What’s more, these flags are sent to family members wherever they are, which sometimes means sending those burial flags internationally.

When the VA started this ambitious program, they needed a partner that was capable of meeting this demand - not just promptly delivering so many flags each year, but getting them to their destinations domestically as well as to locations overseas.

Simply put, only one government agency has that kind of reach, and it’s the United States Postal Service. That’s why this partnership came about, and thus far it seems like it’s been a fruitful one.

In fact, you can visit the USPS website to learn more about requesting a burial flag for your loved one. And if you have any other questions or inquiries about this program, don’t hesitate to reach out to your nearest branch of the VFW or the American Legion. Finally, a funeral home director who has experience with military funeral services can provide you with some additional direction and insight.

Burial flags are an important way to mark the passing of service members, so don’t hesitate to seek the answers to any questions you may have!

Who Gets the Flag from the Military or Civil Officer?

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 18:21:34 GMT

When a U.S. military veteran dies, an American Flag is provided in honor of his or her service. This flag is ultimately folded 13 times, each fold is rich with symbolic meaning.

When a U.S. military veteran dies, an American Flag is provided in honor of his or her service. This flag is ultimately folded 13 times, each fold is rich with symbolic meaning; it appears as a triangle, with only the stars visible. These stars are meant to provide a reminder of our nation’s motto—that we are "One Nation Under God.” Meanwhile, no red stripes should be visible, for the red stripes represent the shedding of blood.

One practical question is this: To whom is this flag actually given? Depending on the position held by the fallen service member, the flag will be bequeathed by either a military or civil officer, and it is typically given directly to the next of kin.

Often, this will be a surviving spouse, but in some cases, it may be the eldest child or even the eldest grandchild.

Needless to say, this flag has some symbolic weight attached to it. It’s not just any flag, but a special flag that’s been set apart to honor the service and sacrifice of the deceased military member. It is offered on behalf of the entire Armed Services and the President of the United States.

The next time you attend a military funeral service, pay close attention both to the careful folding of the flag, but also to the receipt of that flag by a member of the family—a moment that is rich in emotion and meaning.

Role Of Funeral Director In Performing Military Honors

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 18:20:05 GMT

Every Funeral Director has their own personal approach to assisting families of Veterans.

While every Funeral Home Director has their own personal approach to assisting families of Veterans with all of the paperwork and details that go into a military funeral, there are some areas where every family needs the Director’s voice of experience at their side. One of the most important things that Directors do is to ensure that the family has the Veteran’s DD-214 form. If they don’t or, as often happens, it is impossible to locate, experienced Directors have a special "Military Honors Coordinator” number to call where military personnel will coordinate with the Director to expedite everything. Since the Veteran’s DD-214 is the basis of all the benefits of service, it is the starting point for every military funeral arrangement.

Another important role of the Director is coordinating access to the full range of military honors for the family, everything from obtaining the flag to arranging for a bugler, and from accommodating honorary escort groups like the PRG to obtaining permits for a parade. Experienced Funeral Directors know who to call and what to ask about sometimes obscure benefits to ensure that families don’t have to figure out how to deal with a bureaucracy during their time of grief and sadness.

A very important part of the Funeral Director’s role in a military funeral is to stay in the background and assist those who have an official or military role in the ceremonies to do their job. Unlike a civilian funeral, there are usually multiple groups of people besides the family who are involved, such as the Honor Guard and perhaps a military chaplain, and those needs have to be accommodated. Even more than usual, the Director’s job at a military funeral is to see that everything is coordinated and runs smoothly out of the special respect that we all feel for those who have given their lives serving our country.

Can Veterans Receive Medicare Hospice Care While Living at Home?

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 18:18:01 GMT

The short answer is yes. As long as a Veteran is enrolled in Medicare, along with any VA-related coverage they may have, they can receive hospice care at home.

Veterans who have Medicare, even if it is only Part A, are eligible for Medicare-paid hospice care at home when they become terminally ill.

A Veteran who is not enrolled in Medicare and uses only VA health care is limited to the use of VA outpatient and inpatient medical services, including hospice care.

VA at-home hospice services may be severely limited in some places, whereas Medicare at-home hospice services are widely available, so there’s no reason for any eligible Veteran to not have at least Part A.

Some VA hospital facilities have a hospice inpatient unit integrated into their services. Those that do not refer Veterans needing inpatient hospice care to community-based hospice providers, regardless of the Veteran’s Medicare status.

If the VA facility does have an "in-house” hospice unit for inpatients a Veteran can still receive care from a community-based hospice provider if they have Medicare. They would simply need to ask for that option from their VA doctor.

And if things get to the point where the veteran can no longer be cared for at home, they still have a choice. They are not automatically required to go into the VA in-patient hospice care unit if they have Medicare and think that better care if available in a community-based inpatient hospice facility.

There are as many reasons why a Veteran who is an inpatient might choose to stay within the facility as there are reasons why an inpatient Veteran might decide that they prefer community-based hospice care. It is important to do your research and ask questions before making any decision about where you want to receive care.

There are many issues that can affect a Veteran’s rights to health care under different circumstances, so it is a good idea for veterans and their families to begin asking direct questions about both hospice home-care and in-patient options before such care becomes a necessity.

What Medical Equipment & Services Can Hospice Order For In-Home Care for Veterans?

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 18:16:32 GMT

Medical Equipment

If a Hospice patient needs medical equipment, it is much easier to order.

Medicare rarely argues with these decisions. If they do, Hospice staff can typically get such issues resolved quickly.

Personal Care Services

However, a patient receiving Hospice care at home receives any personal care services they need that relates to palliative care for their terminal condition. Medicare covers the cost 100%.

Types of Equipment Covered by Medicare for Hospice Patients

Equipment commonly needed by Hospice patients, ordered by Hospice staff, and paid for 100% by Medicare includes:

Hospital beds with all necessary features
A high-quality pressure-relief mattress
Wheelchair and other specialty mobility devices
Trapeze bar and patient lift
Emergency communication devices
Patient monitors
Walker, four-footed cane, tub seat and bedside commode
Nebulizers
Oxygen and delivery devices
CPAP and BiPAP
High-flow therapy
Suction equipment
Feeding pump

Using VA Grants Wisely

Sometimes in-home health patients need alterations made to their home to help accommodate a disability. This is one thing that Hospice care does not typically cover.

However, a Veteran with a service-connected disability may be eligible for one of three types of grants from the VA. These grants can be used for modifications to their home, or to the home of a family member who is caring for them.

It is a good idea to investigate getting the appropriate VA grant BEFORE a Veteran becomes eligible for Hospice care if there is a chance that Hospice care will be needed in the future. Having the home specially fitted for disability mobility can make life easier for a Veteran and their caregivers long before a terminal illness requiring hospice care develops - if it ever does. Once a patient does require in-home Hospice care, these types of accommodations will be very helpful.

The three programs, each with its own requirements and benefits, are:

Specially Adapted Housing (SAH) grants
Special Home Adaptation (SHA) grants
Home Improvement and Structural Alteration (HISA) grants

In-Home Hospice care can be greatly facilitated if alterations to the veteran’s home are made prior to their need for Hospice care, which does not pay for such alterations.

Can A Terminally Ill Veteran Lose Hospice Coverage Under Medicare?

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 18:10:25 GMT

The short answer is yes. Medicare will only cover up to six months of Hospice care for a person whose physician certifies that they are terminally ill.

It is possible that hospice patient’s condition improves, and their doctor no longer believes that they will die within the covered 6-month period. In this case, they may be removed from Hospice care. At this point, all their original Medicare coverage will be restored.

A Veteran with Tricare For Life will not lose this insurance upon entering Hospice care, so no restoration of benefits would be needed.

As an example, let’s say that Mrs. Vasquez, the wife of a deceased Veteran, is diagnosed by her doctor with advanced ovarian cancer that the doctor believes will result in Mrs. Vasquez’s death within a few months. The doctor also believes that nothing can be done medically to change that outcome. In that case the doctor would certify Mrs. Vasquez to be eligible for Hospice care, which would begin immediately.

The six-month Medicare coverage for Hospice is divided into two 90-day periods. After the end of the first 90 days the doctor must re-certify Mrs. Vasquez.

However, even though all chemo and radiation therapies stopped when Mrs. Vasquez entered Hospice, for some reason in the fourth month of her Hospice care the tumor shrinks. Mrs. Vasquez’s pain begins to diminish.

By the fifth month, even though Mrs. Vasquez has not been receiving any treatment for her cancer while in Hospice, her doctor and various other specialists are happy to report that the tumor, while not completely gone, appears to be in almost full remission.

Mrs. Vazquez and her family are overjoyed, as are all the Hospice staff. However, Mrs. Vasquez’s medical condition is no longer terminal. Under Medicare guidelines Hospice care must be withdrawn.

While it is wonderful news that Mrs. Vasquez is no longer considered to have a terminal illness, withdrawal of Hospice care will mean that some changes must be made in how her family takes care of her. While these changes may be disruptive, there is much to be grateful for.

Now, Mrs. Vasquez will automatically return to coverage under the Medicare Parts A, B and D that she previously had. Her Tricare For Life benefits will have remained intact during Hospice care. This means that she will again be paying for Parts B & D.

Also, since Mrs. Vasquez was receiving in-home Hospice care, some of the medical equipment that was covered under Hospice is not covered under regular Medicare. It must be taken away.

The pain-killing drugs that she was receiving for her terminal pain are also no longer covered by Hospice. However, they may still be covered (with her co-pay) under her Medicare Part D as well as under TriCare For Life.

There may be other circumstances that affect the type and amount of care that Mrs. Vasquez could receive in addition to Medicare. For example, she may have a Medicare Advantage plan or Medicare supplemental insurance. Since she is the covered spouse of a Veteran and has "Tricare For Life” benefits, these benefits will also reduce her out-of-pocket costs for ongoing medical care.

If Mrs. Vasquez’s cancer returns, or if she develops another condition that her physician determines is terminal, she will once again become eligible for the full six-months of Hospice benefits.

What are some options for my family to honor Veterans Day?

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 18:07:30 GMT

Whether it's the first year or many years after they have passed, there are many ways to for your family to honor the veterans in your family.

Veterans Day can be a difficult day for those who have lost a family member who was a member of the armed forces. Whether it's the first year or many years after they have passed, there are many ways to for your family to honor the veterans in your family.

1) Clean the monument - Monuments can become dirty over time. While the cemetery will maintain the grounds, they likely will not clean the headstones. You can take some soap, water and rag to clean off the headstone or monument.

2) Patriotic flower arrangements – make a patriotic wreath or floral arrangement to lave by the gravesite.

3) Wear red – Red is the color associated with poppies of war and honoring soldiers. Have your family members all dress in red when visiting the gravesite.

4) Write a letter – write a letter thanking your veteran for their service. Read it aloud or silently at the gravesite.

5) Plant a tree - depending on where the cemetery is located, it may be possible to plant a tree, bush or flower plant near the grave site.

6) Cemetery Cross – have a personalized cemetery cross made noting dates of service.

7) Add a marble photo - send a photograph of your veteran in their military uniform off to have it engraved on a piece of marble that can be affixed to a headstone.

8) Grave jewelry – engrave a phrase, Bible verse, poem or other wording of your choosing on a marble slab that can be affixed to a headstone.

9) Make a patriotic resin sign – if you don’t want to make something that needs to be attached to a headstone, a personalized resin sign is a good alternative. These signs can be made in a variety of phrases (such as "Thank You Veteran” and are designed to stick in the ground.

10) Personalized grave marker – have a marker made with your veteran’s military service photograph. Often these can be made on a stake designed to go in the ground near the gravesite.

11) Grave blankets – purchase or make a grave blanket to lay over the grave site. Give it a patriotic theme with ribbons and flowers in red, white and blue.

12) Plant a flag by the headstone.

13) Pause and reflect at 3:00PM - In 2000, President Clinton signed the "National Monument of Remembrance Act.” This says that all Americans should pause for one minute at 3:00PM local time on Memorial Day. During this time, they should reflect on the sacrifices made by our veterans. Time your visit so you are at the gravesite then.

14) Get a Presidential Memorial Certificate – This is a free engraved paper certificate signed by the current U.S. president. Take the certificate with you when you visit the gravesite. Note: It can take several months to receive the certificate, so order it well in advance.

15) Play patriotic music – Stars and Stripes Forever is the official march of the United States. Or play the songs associated with your veteran’s branch of the armed services.

There are many ways to honor veterans who have passed on Veteran’s Day. Hopefully one of these ideas will be the perfect fit for you and your family.

Thank You First Responders

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 18:04:21 GMT

We are incredibly grateful and appreciative for all you do.

First Responders are the backbone of our community, working tirelessly on the front lines to serve our families and keep us safe. From the fire fighters and police officers who put their lives on the line, to our 911 operators, paramedics, and EMTs who are always there in a time of crisis, we want to say thank you. You are our superheroes.

We recognize the sacrifices that you make on a daily basis, leaving your own families to put yourself in harm’s way. While most people run from danger, our First Responders run toward it without hesitation - rushing to the scene to help complete strangers without a second thought. Sometimes the call may seem simple, such as comforting a child after a car wreck. Other times the call may require a tremendous act of courage, such as saving someone from a burning building. But no matter the call, your dedicated response makes our communities a better place to live.

It takes a special kind of person to risk your own life to care for others, but day after day, you continue to rise to the call.

Our Funeral Home family extends our sincerest appreciation to all First Responders in our community and around the country for your selfless service. We are incredibly grateful and appreciative for all you do.

To all our First Responders, we want to say, "Thank you for your service!”

Why is it important to have a funeral plan in place?

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 18:02:53 GMT

Having a funeral plan in place is one of the most important things you can do for your loved ones.

Having a funeral plan in place is one of the most important things you can do for your loved ones. Imagine trying to plan a wedding or birthday party in just a few hours! Now, try to imagine doing that while you are grieving. This is why funeral planning is so difficult.

There are two types of funeral planning. "At-need” funeral arrangements are made at the time of death. Usually, these plans are made by a close friend or family member. At-need funeral planning is especially difficult because it happens at a time when emotions are high. It can be compounded by the fact that difficult financial decisions must also be made.

"Pre-need” funeral arrangements are also known as "preplanning.” These plans are made while the person is living. There are many how-to guides available to help guide you or your loved one in making these plans.

There are several reasons why it can be helpful to preplan your funeral:

1) It eases the burden on your family. This is perhaps the most important reason to preplan your funeral. There are so many decisions that need to be made. The last thing they will want to do is make difficult decisions while they are grieving.

2) It eases financial worries. Preplanning your funeral arrangements allows you to make financial arrangements as well.

3) Your final wishes will be more likely to be followed. Whatever your wishes are, writing them down for family members makes it more likely they will be followed.

4) It helps your family plan a more meaningful funeral. Having a fitting send-off for a loved one is an essential part of grieving. It can be difficult to plan a funeral when time is short.

5) It brings peace of mind. You won’t have to worry about how your family will pay for the funeral, or when they’ll be able to make the arrangements during their grieving period.

6) It helps avoid family arguments and allows your family to spend more time together . Funeral planning can lead to arguments if different family members have differing opinions. Preplanning takes the guesswork out of planning the funeral. It also allows family members to spend more time together following their loss since they won’t have to spend extra time at the funeral home planning.

Contact your funeral director today to get your funeral plan started.

What Do I Bring to a Funeral Arrangement Conference?

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 18:00:26 GMT

Around the arrangement meeting, the funeral director's main function is to assist you with the necessary details of the funeral process.

When a loved one passes away, one of the first calls you make should be to the funeral home of your choice; on the phone, the funeral director will request some basic information from you- your name, the name of the deceased, the place of death and contact information.

This preliminary call is meant to be quick and as streamlined as possible; the bulk of the funeral arrangements will be made the following day, or perhaps the day after, in your face-to-face conference with the funeral director. At this meeting, it is important for you to come equipped with a few items and pieces of paperwork.

Make sure you know the Social Security Number of the deceased, and that you come ready to provide it. Also bring with you the deceased's veteran's discharge papers if applicable; these will be necessary for securing a flag for burial.

If you have pertinent insurance documents, or documents in which the deceased laid out some plans or wishes for the funeral, bring those with you as well. Additionally, if there is a pastor or spiritual leader whose involvement you wish to have at the service, make sure you can provide that person's name and contact information. The funeral director will also ask for a family history of the deceased and inquire about names of survivors; it's wise to list names of siblings, parents, children, grandchildren, and other relatives so you don't forget to mention anyone during this stressful time.

Finally: Should you wish to have any personal items of the deceased on display at the funeral, bring them, as well as any clothing or jewelry items you wish the deceased to wear for the visitation (Note that jewelry items and other valuables can be returned to you prior to burial or cremation). It is also wise to bring a photograph or two, for use in the obituary.

This conference can be tough-but coming to it prepared can make it go that much more smoothly.

What if a funeral costs less than prepayment amount?

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 17:57:28 GMT

Taking care of funeral plans and expenses ahead of time can be a real gift to your family.

Taking care of funeral plans and expenses ahead of time can be a real gift to your family. It saves your family from having to plan a funeral while they are grieving. It can also save money. Prepaying for a funeral service can guarantee that you are able to specify the type of service you want. Funerals can be expensive, and prepaying can also save your loved ones the stress of having to come up with the funds to pay for a funeral on their own.

When you purchase a pre-paid funeral plan, you can customize it to include things like the casket, urn or flowers. In some cases, you can pay a set price to the funeral home and your price is locked in. This means, even if prices go up your loved ones won’t need to pay any extra when the time comes. In other instances, the price is not locked in, so if prices go up your loved ones will be responsible for the difference. But keep in mind, they will still be paying less than if they had to pay for the whole thing.

You may wonder what happens if you end up not needing the full prepayment amount to pay for a funeral service. If you end up not needing the full amount, what happens generally depends on the policies of the individual funeral home, and possibly the state the home is located in.

In most cases, since the cost of funeral services will likely go up from the time of purchase, it is very likely you will end up using all of the prepayment funds – even if you change your burial plans.

If you do not end up using all the funds because you switch to a less expensive funeral service, such as switching from burial to cremation, you may get a refund from the funeral home. However, this is not always the case so be sure to ask the funeral home when you are preplanning what their policies are.

What Determines the Cost of a Funeral?

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 17:06:52 GMT

You may have a funeral to plan and you may want to make sure it is exactly what the deceased would have wanted, but you also need to know how much the service is going to cost.

When a family member or a close friend has just passed, it may seem crass to think of financial matters-and yet, even during a season of bereavement, families must consider the monetary. You may have a funeral to plan and you may want to make sure it is exactly what the deceased would have wanted, but you also need to know how much the service is going to cost.

This is a more variable figure than you might think. Funerals are hardly one-size-fits-all, and there are a lot of different factors that can determine their total price tag. Some families want their services to be simple and straightforward; others want something more elaborate. Moreover, there isn't a clear indicator as to whether it is more or less expensive to have a cremation or traditional burial; either can be as simple or as elaborate as a family wishes.

More and more families want funeral services to be all-day gatherings of family and friends, which means food and music are required. This is a perfectly acceptable trend, of course, but these families need to know that their bills may be higher.

Ultimately, the total cost of the funeral is well within your control, and you should know roughly how much you're going to be spending before the plans become final. Your funeral director should have a list of all the options that are available, along with their corresponding prices. Make sure you sit down with him or her to make some decisions and calculate your total.

More likely than not you can arrange to make a single payment to your funeral director, who will in turn pay the vendors, caterers, florists, and the like. Your funeral director will be an invaluable ally in organizing the whole affair, and this is surely the simplest way to conduct your business.

How to Involve a Child in a Funeral Service

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 17:04:20 GMT

Sometimes, parents and grandparents can be reluctant to involve children in a funeral, or feel unsure of how young people can participate.

Sometimes, parents and grandparents can be reluctant to involve children in a funeral, or feel unsure of how young people can participate. The fear may be that a funeral is too "heavy" for children, and that involving them in the active work of bereavement may be too much for them. On the contrary, many children not only want to be involved, but actually need an outlet for their own mourning and sadness. Involving children in the service can be therapeutic for them; it can also ensure that the funeral is something that truly represents and encompasses the entire family, not just part of it.

The question is, what can children do to participate in the funeral service? There are no right or wrong answers here; it largely boils down to the age of the children and what they feel comfortable with. Giving kids a window for creative expression is always healthy. For example, encouraging children to color a picture or write a quick note, and then giving it to a funeral home attendee to place into the casket, can help kids to feel included.

Children might also be invited to participate in the actual service - either by doing a reading or even by sharing a story or simply reading aloud their own note to the deceased friend or relative. Meanwhile, at the gravesite, some funerals provide children an opportunity to release balloons, which can feel cathartic and celebratory in equal measure.

Don't ever make the assumption that your kids are too young to be able to participate in the funeral, or that they are not interested. Talk with them about it, and also to the funeral home team about ways your kids can be involved. Speak with a funeral director today by giving us a call.

What Role Does a Funeral Celebrant Play?

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 17:01:26 GMT

In most cases, the celebrant will be willing to arrive at the home of the mourners and get to know them for a while; to develop a connection through this season of bereavement.

From a traditional point-of-view, funerals usually have an individual who is responsible for officiating the ceremony - the person leads the assembled friends and family members in a season of remembrance and grief. Often, the officiant is someone the family knows and trusts, most typically a minister or pastor from the family's home church. What happens, though, when the surviving family members do not have a church affiliation, and thus do not have a clear idea of who the funeral officiant might be?

In these instances, one option is to inquire at the funeral home about a funeral celebrant. A celebrant is someone the funeral home enlists to fill that important role of officiant; the celebrant can effectively serve as your family's pastor or spiritual guide, or as simple as someone to keep the funeral service moving ahead smoothly.

In most cases, the celebrant will be willing to arrive at the home of the mourners and get to know them for a while; to develop a connection through this season of bereavement. The celebrant will ask for memories and reflections on the deceased, and piece together the story of that person’s life - allowing the funeral service itself to be personalized and intimate.

Ultimately, that may be what most people are really looking for in an officiant - someone who can speak warmly and specifically about the deceased and his or her legacy. A celebrant can provide this service, and offer stability throughout the funeral. The celebrant’s job is not to take the place of a minister or Rabbi, of course, but rather to fill that role for those who may not have a trusted religious figure or spiritual advisor to lean on.

Our staff members can help you enlist the services of a celebrant or see who is available in your area.

What Does a Funeral Home Need to Know Right Away?

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 16:58:40 GMT

When a loved one passes away, some important phone calls must be made, including one to the funeral home. This article will help you be prepared for that call.

When a loved one passes away, some important phone calls must be made-not just to alert the immediate family, but also to alert the funeral home, and make preliminary arrangements for the transport of the body and for the funeral service itself.

Making this phone call can be daunting. You are likely to be disoriented by grief, and to feel ill-prepared to make big decisions or answer too many questions. The good news is, you don't necessarily need to provide too much information right at first. You'll have time to work with the funeral director on funeral arrangements in the days that follow; when you make that initial call to alert the funeral home of your loved one's death, you just need to provide some basic information.

Be prepared to provide the full name of the deceased and your own name and relationship to the deceased. You will also need to tell the funeral home where your loved one died.

Additionally, the funeral home will require your basic contact information - an address and phone number should be sufficient. Finally, you will have to provide permission for the funeral home to take custody of the body and embalm it; a verbal affirmation should do fine.

You may also be asked to schedule a time for the next day, or perhaps the day after, to start finalizing arrangements for the funeral service. Don't be overwhelmed by this: the funeral director will walk you through the process and provide guidance through the planning process.

From there, funeral home representatives will be en route to prepare the body for transport- leaving you to reflect and collect your thoughts for the process of funeral planning.

Tips for Planning Your Own Funeral

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 16:56:06 GMT

Planning your own funeral is an important way for you to ensure the service happens exactly as you'd like. It can significantly reduce the levels of stress endured by your friends and family after your passing. Regardless of whether you are physically fit or not, it is always a wise idea to attend to this sort of planning well in advance.

The viewing
This is when friends and family have time to sit peacefully with the body. It typically happens in a funeral home, but can also happen at a house of worship or home.

The wake
The wake is a time to gather to celebrate the life of a person who passed. This gathering is typically an important part of the mourning process, and allows friends and family members to provide comfort to each other.

The funeral
The funeral is a memorial ceremony that typically occurs in a house of worship or funeral home. The body is usually present, either in an open or closed casket. There are no rules for a funeral; you are free to shape the service as you see fit. If you are religious, you may want to have a service that's full of prayer. If you served in the armed forces, you may opt for a military funeral. Other people prefer to keep the service non-denominational, and use it as a time for family and friends to grieve together.

A memorial ceremony
A memorial ceremony is another alternative if you are not comfortable with the idea of a funeral service. Memorials typically happen a few months after the person has passed, and the body is not present. The memorial service is a place for family members and friends to commemorate the life of the person who passed. People can eulogize the deceased, and explain what they meant to them.

If you wish to plan an after-death service, you'll want to make your wishes are clear to the people who will be tasked with executing these arrangements. Some of the details you will need to consider:

The location of the gathering/service
The type of service
Who should facilitate the ceremonies
Whether the body will be present, and whether the casket will be open or closed
Any specific jewelry or clothing you would like placed on your body
Who will serve as pallbearers (when necessary)
Whether you would like a special picture or other items displayed with you
Any special readings or music that you would like featured
Information about special music, readings, food or drink, and other details

Your surviving family members and friends will take comfort in knowing that they are executing the after-death services exactly as you had wished, and you can relax knowing that the arrangements will be handled in a way that you find suitable.

5 Things Everyone Should Know About Planning a Funeral

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 16:49:32 GMT

Planning a funeral for yourself or for a loved one requires organization in the midst of grief and sadness. Consult these guidelines on the most important elements of funeral planning that you and your loved ones should know.

Prearranging provides you or your loved one with the opportunity to become informed about the plethora of options regarding the funeral or cremation service.

No two services are alike, and individuals can choose to showcase videos, photographs, music, special readings or any other involved elements with family and friends.
Prearranging ensures that you document your wishes.

A living will may cover medical treatment, but there are still funeral costs. You can remove some of the burden for someone making decisions who may not be aware of your wishes.
Prepaying ahead of time eases future financial burden.

It may benefit your surviving loved ones to prepay for your funeral or cremation services, as the costs of the products and services you choose may never be lower. Prearranging makes financial sense. We have many choices for payment plans.
Begin the process by writing down your personal information or your loved one's information.

Write down important information to keep on hand as you plan the service, like social security number, ethnicity, religion, residence, birth information and so on. Having this information is helpful throughout the funeral planning process.
Selecting individuals to be a part of the funeral service in advance takes away some of the emotional burden.

You are able to select readers, performers and other individuals to be a part of the service in advance.

Have You Had The "Other" Talk?

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 16:46:17 GMT

We encourage sons and daughters to sit down with their parents sooner rather than later. A single conversation can make a world of difference.

They say you’re not supposed to talk about religion and politics, at least not with your family—but there’s one thing people like talking about even less: Death. The idea of sitting down with your mom and dad and discussing end-of-life issues likely isn’t your idea of fun but consider the alternative.

The alternative is that one day, mom or dad passes away, and you are left totally unprepared. You want to plan and orchestrate a meaningful end-of-life event for your parent—a memorial service or a life celebration that will be just what mom or dad would have wanted.

There’s just one problem: You have no idea what mom or dad would have wanted because you never had that talk with them.

That’s not a scenario anyone wants to be in, which is why we encourage sons and daughters to sit down with their parents sooner rather than later. A single conversation can make a world of difference.

Facts About Having the Talk

The Conversation Project shares some facts that make it clear just how neglected the talk really is:

90 percent of people say that it is important to talk about end-of-life issues with family—but just over 25 percent actually do it.

60 percent of people say it matters to them that their family members not be overwhelmed by difficult decisions, yet 56 percent of people never discuss their wishes.

Roughly four out of five people say it is important to put their end-of-life wishes in writing, yet only one out of five has done so.

The disparity here is striking: Most of us agree that end-of-life discussions are important, but when it comes to actually have those conversations, we’re a timid bunch! So how do you turn your intentions into actions? How do you prepare to have the talk with mom and dad—and then follow through with it?

Tips for Having the Talk

The setting matters. Don’t casually strike up this conversation at a noisy restaurant, or in the middle of an otherwise pleasant family get-together. Select a time and a place where people are comfortable and not distracted. A private setting is usually ideal.

Don’t stress. With that said, you can let the conversation come naturally. You don’t have to wring your hands for days or weeks thinking about the big moment; if you find yourself in a place where it feels natural or organic to talk about end-of-life issues—or if mom or dad brings it up—then go for it.

Ask for permission. The end-of-life discussion is all about respect—so make sure you exhibit respect from the get-go. Ask permission to have the conversation. Explain that it is important to you to know what your parents’ wishes are, and ask if you can talk about it now.

Remember your intentions. You started this conversation out of love for your parent(s). Try to remember that throughout the conversation; remain warm and respectful, never impatient. It may be hard for mom and dad to discuss these things, so let them go at their own pace. Nod your agreement or hold hands if you feel it would make the process easier.

Ask the right questions. Come to the conversation knowing what questions you need to ask. We have prepared a cheat sheet for you, available at the end of this document.

Listen well. Don’t start an argument or a debate, and don’t act indifferent about the conversation. Make it clear that what matters to your loved one matters to you. Listen for wants and needs and verbally acknowledge that you understand and affirm the choices your loved one has made—even if you do not happen to agree with them.

Get to know your loved one. A lot of end-of-life decisions come down to the personality of the individual in question—likes, dislikes, beliefs, values. You may think you know the person quite well, but use this conversation as a chance to know them better. Ask open-ended questions.

Don’t be pushy. As you and your loved one talk about their values and their life story, an issue or question may arise that the person does not wish to talk about. Be respectful of that and willing to just move on.

Ask about legacy. Sometimes the best questions are the simplest: In order to remember your loved one well, try asking how they wish to be remembered.

Take notes. If you feel like you won’t be able to remember important details, don’t be hesitant to jot down a few notes.

Having the Talk: A Cheat Sheet

Having a meaningful end-of-life discussion all comes down to asking the right questions. Here are some important questions that you can use to guide your conversation:

Do you have a will that outlines any funeral/memorial wishes? Do you have a pre-paid funeral plan?
What do you want your funeral to mean?
What parts of your life are you proudest of? What has been most important to you?
What do you believe happens after death?
What are some of your earliest memories? Some of your fondest memories?
How do you hope people will remember you? What do you hope will be your legacy?
Do you want the service to be religious in nature? If so, describe the religious or spiritual components that you wish to have in place.
Is your wish to be buried or cremated?
Would you like there to be an open-casket viewing?
Where would you like the memorial service to be?
Describe your ideal service. What are your wishes in terms of music? Food or refreshment? Do you prefer an occasion that is formal? Somber? Celebratory?
Are there specific items or heirlooms you would like to have incorporated into the memorial service?

Don’t Delay

Having this talk may seem like an awkward or an uncomfortable thing at first—but in the end, you’ll be glad you initiated it. Mom and Dad will be, too: Having end-of-life conversations provides peace of mind for everyone. It is also an invaluable way to express your love and respect. Use these tips to help you have the talk with your loved one sooner rather than later.

Flower Arrangement Differences for Men and Women

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 16:41:26 GMT

When it comes to offering up flowers after a person has passed, there are subtle differences between a man's funeral arrangement and a woman's funeral arrangement.

When it comes to offering up flowers after a person has passed, there are subtle differences between a man's funeral arrangement and a woman's funeral arrangement. Though flowers have a traditionally feminine association, in reality, floral arrangements are a beautiful way to express sympathy regardless of whether the deceased was a man or a woman. They can add warmth and light to a space, and are a visual reminder that family members and friends are there to provide support.

Choosing an arrangement for a man

You have options for flower arrangements that contain a more masculine motif in both the type and color of flowers that are featured in the display. A viable option for a funeral flower arrangement for a male features a simple standing spray with just a few color variations, including red or white. A simple yet elegant display is the perfect choice to honor the life of the man.

Common types of flowers that are used in an arrangement for a male's funeral include red, orange, white, blue, or yellow roses. Some people also choose to incorporate chrysanthemums, as they typically symbolize grief and come in masculine colors. Carnations are also a solid choice for a man's funeral arrangement, though be sure not to use yellow ones, as they typically signify disappointment.

Choosing an arrangement for a woman

In order to express your sympathies over the death of someone's mother, wife, or daughter, consider selecting a floral arrangement that comes in pastel or more feminine shades. An arrangement for a woman tends to be more stylized in design, and may use flowers like roses, chrysanthemums, and carnations. Shades that work well for a female arrangement include pink, lavender, and yellow.

Though offering flowers after the death of a loved one is a very traditional act, the arrangement you provide does not need to feel stuffy or outdated. There are plenty of ways to modernize an arrangement using contemporary styles, designs, and ideas. In fact, these arrangements are often viewed as a form of temporary modern art.

While flowers can be a beautiful way to honor a person who has passed, it is important to make sure that proper etiquette allows for such an arrangement to be delivered without causing offense. For example, in some religions, floral arrangements are not allowed. This includes in a house of worship for Orthodox Jews. In the Protestant faith, only one floral arrangement is permitted in the space, meaning that it is probably advisable not to send the flowers to the house of worship. When you understand the protocol for that particular religion, you can offer a kind gift without inadvertently offending anyone.

How Do I Choose the Right Cemetery?

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 16:39:31 GMT

As you plan for the burial of a deceased loved one, you'll need to address a few basic questions - and the first of those questions is where?

As you plan for the burial of a deceased loved one, you'll need to address a few basic questions - and the first of those questions is where?

Often, individuals purchase cemetery plots well before they die. In other cases, they may leave behind a will or other document that stipulates where they wish their final resting place to be. Occasionally, though, it will be up to surviving family members to select a cemetery that will be suitable.

If your loved one was a military veteran, you may wish to look into VA cemeteries near you. Also consider that most cemeteries have veteran sections, which should provide you with plenty of options for personalization. And if your loved one adhered to a particular religion, it may be worth investigating cemeteries associated with that faith tradition. Otherwise, you’ll probably just want to find a public cemetery. A good starting place is to ask your funeral director for a recommendation.

If your loved one is to be cremated, it's important to find a cemetery that offers either a columbarium or an urn garden, or at least one that permits urns to be buried in traditional plots. (Most do, but it doesn’t hurt to verify.)

In researching local cemeteries, make sure you ask about the cost as well as any maintenance fees associated with the plot. Also ask what the cemetery will do to maintain the gravesite, and what your responsibilities will be as the family member. Finally, ask if there are any restrictions or stipulations on the kinds of casket that are permitted.

Again, as you navigate this important decision, don’t hesitate to seek counsel from your funeral director, who will be able to help you locate the cemetery that best aligns with your needs and your loved one's final wishes.

Is a Vault or Outer Burial Container Required?

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 16:37:25 GMT

As you prepare for the burial of a loved one, it's important to ensure compliance with all applicable rules and laws. A common question that arises is whether it's mandatory to use a vault or outer burial container.

As you prepare for the burial of a loved one, it’s important to ensure compliance with all applicable rules and laws. A common question that arises is whether it’s mandatory to use a vault or outer burial container.

In terms of the law, vaults generally are not required; state, county, and local laws seldom specify the need for a casket to be placed within an outer burial container.

With that said, it is a requirement of many cemeteries. There’s a simple reason for this: The use of a vault or outer burial container actually helps with cemetery maintenance. Specifically, it prevents against dramatic shifts in the earth above and around the burial site, ensuring nice, flat, green areas throughout the cemetery.

Of course, that’s not the only way in which vaults and outer burial containers can be valuable. They also prevent against the degradation of the casket itself, safeguarding it from both water and the weight of the earth.

All of that’s to say that the use of a vault is advisable, and certainly something that’s worth discussing with your funeral home director. There are a number of options available, including some personalized burial containers and vaults made from diverse materials. Your funeral home director can point you toward the options that work best for your needs.

As for whether vaults are required, that’s something you’ll want to address with the cemetery. Again, the best approach may be to ask your funeral home director, who can coordinate this conversation for you.

What is perpetual floral care?

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 16:35:43 GMT

In an ideal world, someone would always be available to take care of your loved one's grave. That is not always the case.

In an ideal world, someone would always be available to take care of your loved one’s grave. Unfortunately, family members may live far from the resting place of their loved ones, or they may find it difficult to find time in their schedule to take care of the gravesite.

This is where perpetual care services come in. In a perpetual care cemetery, the cemetery maintains many parts of the cemetery. It provides for gardeners whose job it is to cut and fertilize the grass and keep the gravesite clean on a weekly basis. This is typically paid with a one-time payment and assures care forever.

However, there are many things this fee doesn’t cover. One is providing flowers for a loved one’s grave on an ongoing basis. With perpetual floral care families can schedule flower arrangements to be placed on a loved one’s grave periodically. This could be quarterly, monthly or for special occasions.

If this is something a family wishes to do, typically they can do it through their funeral home or through a third-party vendor. Flower arrangements can be selected and will be delivered to the gravesite. Fresh flowers can be delivered, but often silk flowers are used as they will last longer.

Families have the option of selecting a schedule for floral arrangements to be delivered. Contact your funeral home or a third-party vendor to set this up. In this case the periodic fees associated with the flower delivery would be charged to a credit card. With this method, families can be assured that their loved one’s final resting place will always decorated.

Prices vary based upon the arrangement selected, but typically vary from $20 to about $100 per arrangement, so a this is inexpensive way to honor and remember a loved one.

What happens if someone takes my bronze vase from my plot?

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 16:24:13 GMT

Many grave markers have a small bronze vase. These vases are housed in a hole in the center of the grave marker upside down when they are not in use.

What happens if I notice that the vase is missing from my loved one’s marker?

First, double check that the vase is truly missing. Sometimes families think a vase missing, not realizing that it has been stored in the marker itself. If you check and see that the vase is truly missing, then you should contact the cemetery to find out what might have happened.

Unfortunately, there are times when many vases may go missing at once. This is because the bronze material is valuable and can be recycled for money, so thieves may come take the vases. Typically, when this happens the cemetery will replace all the vases at no cost.

Either way, if the vase is truly missing check with the cemetery before you purchase a new one. They may be willing to replace your vase.

What if I need to replace the vase myself?

If the vase has been lost or damaged it may be up to the family to replace it. It is very easy to get a replacement vase. Talk to the cemetery director or your funeral director if you need help.

There are many places to go online to purchase replacements as well. A simple internet search will bring up replacement websites. Replacement vases can vary widely in cost, so you may want to shop around. You will also want to double check to make sure the vase fits in the opening on your monument.

These days, many vases can be found that are made of zinc or other materials. While these materials may not look the same as your original vase, these other materials are much less valuable. This makes them less attractive to thieves. If you do have to purchase a new vase you may want to consider one of a different and less valuable material so that it will be less likely to be taken.

The Difference Between Monuments & Markers

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 16:14:23 GMT

When placing the deceased or memorializing an individual at a cemetery plot, many will have to decide whether it is best to have a marker or a monument placed at the location.

When placing the deceased or memorializing an individual at a cemetery plot, many will have to decide whether it is best to have a marker or a monument placed at the location. It is important to understand that while both can be appropriate, they vary in size and shape.

Markers are typically small and made out of stone, such as a flat rectangle placed above the plot that will have the name, dates and other insignia carved into them. Monuments can refer to typical vertical headstones, which are larger, but will feature the same information. Sometimes, monuments can be customized to fit the persona of the deceased, whether they are in the shape of a three-dimensional cross, statuette, saint or other figure.

Which is More Appropriate: Markers or Monuments?
Sometimes, the deceased will have already purchased a marker or monument as part of their preplanned needs. When this is the case, the memorials are already either in place and just need to have a date added to them or will be ordered and placed later at the convenience of the family.

Those who want to order a monument at a later date may find that it is respectful to have a marker placed at the burial site in the meantime.
In other cases, surviving relatives will have to choose which is more appropriate for the individual and the circumstances at hand. Some cemeteries may only permit one uniform type of memorial, so it is vital to make sure what is allowed at the plot.

Using Both Markers and Monuments
It is not uncommon for individuals to be memorialized with both a marker and a monument. In fact, many family plots - or those for spouses - are identified by a singular monument that displays the family name. In these cases, the deceased is commemorated with a marker, creating both uniformity and individuality for the entire family plot.

What Can I Do with Cemetery Property That is No Longer Needed?

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 16:01:37 GMT

It is not uncommon for people to own their own burial plot - often as part of family-owned cemetery property.

It is not uncommon for people to own their own burial plot - often as part of family-owned cemetery property. Life changes such as divorce, relocation, or even a change in religious beliefs can render this cemetery property unneeded or unwanted, however. When that happens, it may be time to sell the property.

The simplest option is to sell it back to the cemetery. This should always be your first step - seeing if the cemetery is willing to buy the plot back. Often, the answer will be yes. In fact, this is a request that cemetery owners receive more often than you might imagine, so don’t feel embarrassed to inquire about burial plot buybacks.

If that doesn't work out, check your state's laws, as different municipalities have different stipulations about selling burial plots. (Indeed, many require you to give the cemetery the right of first refusal—another reason to always begin there.)

Assuming you are legally permitted to sell the cemetery property on the secondary market, a quick online search should reveal much about the local marketplace. Note that some buyers are going to be hesitant to buy burial space from a private seller, and the places you’ll have the best luck are prime retirement destinations - Florida, Arizona, and Texas, in particular.

These represent a couple of different options for selling undesired cemetery property - but again, the safest solution is usually to ask about buybacks at the cemetery or funeral home itself. Make that your first step toward moving on from a burial plot you no longer need.

Jewish Customs: What to do After a Death has Occurred

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 15:56:30 GMT

Death is a time of mourning, and the deceased should be treated with the utmost respect. When a loved one passes, the family should contact their rabbi or synagogue to notify them of the passing and start the process of preparing for a funeral and burial.

Once death has occurred, the body should not be left unattended according to Jewish custom. From the moment of death through the moment of burial, the body must be watched over by a shomer. Shomrin may be family members, friends, members of the congregation, or members of the Chevra Kaddisha. They often recite psalms over the body as they guard it.

It is customary for the funeral to take place within 24 hours of death if possible. Additional time may be allowed if family must travel or plans cannot be made before Shabbat. The process tends to move rather quickly since the deceased is buried in a simple pine box as cremation and embalming are forbidden by Jewish law. In addition, autopsies are rarely performed as this is seen as desecration of the body. This reduces the amount of decision making that must take place.

Prior to burial, the body is washed by the Chevra Kaddisha and dressed in white burial shrouds. If there was blood on the clothing at the time of death, the ritual washing is not completed because blood is considered holy. Once preparations have been made, the funeral and burial proceed and then the family sits shiva for the next seven days as they mourn.

It is imperative to abide by Jewish funeral customs and treat the deceased with honor and respect.

The Pope's Latest Decree on Cremation and You

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 15:53:48 GMT

The Vatican has released a new doctrine dealing specifically with burial and cremation. Here is what the new decrees on cremation and burial mean for you, your loved ones and the funerary process.

The Vatican has released a new doctrine dealing specifically with burial and cremation. These new decrees are said by Pope Francis, the head of the Catholic Church, and apply to the millions of actively practicing Catholics in the United States and around the world. The Catholic Church has for centuries been opposed to the cremated remains of individuals being scattered on land or sea and additionally is opposed to having remains merely kept in containers and placed within the home. The Church has accepted cremation as a means of interment since the Second Vatican Council under Pope John Paul II. Here is what the new decrees on cremation and burial mean for you, your loved ones and the funerary process.

The doctrine's main declaration is that cremated remains are to be interned in either a mausoleum or other sacred space and not placed in the home, not distributed around the land or ocean. The doctrine also states that cremated remains are to remain whole and not to be distributed or dispersed to individuals to be held by more than one person. Essentially, if the deceased is cremated: their remains are to remain together (whole), interred properly and not dispersed or distributed.

The importance of the remains being placed in a sacred place is surprisingly practical: to provide a space for generations to visit and pay homage to those that have passed on. There is a certain level of comfort that is provided by having a place to visit the deceased that will never change. A common concern that does arise when cremated remains are kept in an individual's home are who takes ownership of the ashes of the deceased upon the death of the homeowner or when one changes houses. When remains are placed in sacred land, it provides a consistent place for people to honor those that have been lost that will not change, is not at risk for getting lost or damaged and placed with great honor and dignity for the deceased.

The pope's decree does make one surprising concession. The doctrine does concede that many are cremated due to financial and economic constraints as well as sanitary concerns. Cremation is often one of the more cost-effective funerary options and the admittance that cost is commonly sited as a reason for cremation and direct cremation is a very practical statement on the Vatican's part.

If you are concerned about the cost of interment and are not sure what to do with cremated remains: ask about our cremation solutions from one of our trusted funeral directors.

How can a church or synagogue purchase burial space for their members?

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 15:46:14 GMT

There are times when a church or synagogue may want to purchase a large space for their members to be buried together.

There are times when a church or synagogue may want to purchase a large space for their members to be buried together. This allows members who have passed to be able to secure a resting place among other church or synagogue members. It can also allow families, if they are all members of the same congregation, to be buried near one another.

A Group Plot

A group plot is a large space that can accommodate multiple burials. To do this, the plots would need to be purchased in advance and then paid for by families as they need them.

An Urn Plot

An urn plot is a smaller space for the burial of a cremation urn. Depending on the size of the plot, it is possible for multiple people to be buried there.

A Mausoleum

A mausoleum is an above ground building designed to hold caskets. With a private mausoleum, you can build it as large as you wish to accommodate as many people as you want. Another option is a community mausoleum, which can house many caskets. A church or synagogue could choose to purchase multiple crypts inside a community mausoleum.

A Columbarium

A columbarium is a building with niches to hold cremation urns. Churches or synagogues can purchase several niches together. As with a group plot, these will likely all need to be purchased at the same time.

Church or Synagogue Cemetery Burial

In some areas it may be possible to purchase or use land owned by the church or synagogue to create a cemetery. If this is the case, you will want to check with your local government office to find out what restrictions or permits required before purchasing land or deciding to turn existing land into a cemetery.

What are all the costs associated with a burial plot?

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 15:39:14 GMT

As with most funeral planning, there are multiple options and costs associated with a cemetery burial.

Many people are surprised at the cost of a burial in a cemetery. The average cost of a burial plot is dependent upon several factors. As with most funeral planning, there are multiple options and costs associated with a cemetery burial.

1) The Burial Plot

The first cost is the burial plot itself. The location of the cemetery can have a large impact on the cost, such as whether the cemetery is in an urban or rural region. The location of the plot itself in the cemetery can also impact the cost.

Typical costs for a burial plot are:

Burial plot in a public cemetery - $200 to $2,000
Burial plot in a private cemetery - $2,000 to $5,000
Burial plot for cremated remain in a public cemetery - $350 to $500
Burial plot for cremated remains in a private cemetery - $1,000 - $2,500

2) The Grave Marker

Once a location has been selected, a grave marker will be used to mark the location of the grave within the cemetery. Costs can vary widely on grave markers depending on the type of material used and how elaborate the design is. For a typical granite marker, costs average about $300 to $800. An upright monument can cost anywhere from $1,000 - $2,000. And larger monuments such as mausoleums can cost tens of thousands of dollars.

3) The Grave Liner or Burial Vault

Some cemeteries may require that you purchase a grave liner or burial vault. These are outer burial containers, typically made of concrete that the casket or urn is placed before it goes in the ground. Grave liners and burial vaults protect the casket from decay. The ground around the casket/urn will also shift over time and the concrete barrier ensures that the cemetery grounds will remain level. The average cost is about $400 - $5,000 depending on what you choose.

4) Interment Fees

These are all the fees associated with opening and closing the grave. The grave, niche or mausoleum must be opened and then closed back up. For an in-ground burial this is the cost to dig the hole and replace the sod. There is also legal paperwork that must be completed for all this to happen. These costs can vary anywhere between $350 to $3,000.

5) Burial Permit

In some locations, a burial permit is required. This is only a small fee, usually around $20. Check with your funeral director to find out if a burial permit is required.

What is a grave blanket?

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 15:36:16 GMT

The term grave blanket can have different meanings depending on the region of the country you are in.

The term grave blanket can have different meanings depending on the region of the country you are in. In the Southern region, the term usually refers to the blanket of flowers placed over a grave after burial. At funerals, it is customary for funeral goers to purchase flower arrangements for the funeral ceremony itself. Once the funeral is over these flowers can be placed on the grave. If the flower arrangements are the larger freestanding ones, they will be laid down over the grave to cover it.

In more Northern regions grave blanket refers to a handmade or commercially made arrangement of evergreen boughs. Typical fresh flower arrangements cannot withstand the colder northern temperatures, so the evergreen blankets are designed to last longer. These evergreen boughs may be decorated with ribbons, flowers, or pinecones. Often the materials are attached to a foam or wire base that can be attached to the ground to keep the grave blanket from blowing away. They come in many different shapes and sizes.

Why are grave blankets used?

The tradition of grave blankets is thought to have originated from the Scandinavians. Grave blankets were typically placed over graves before the first snow to keep the deceased warm during the winter. Today they are also used to honor and remember a loved one who has passed. Grave blankets can be purchased commercially, but often they are made by hand, giving family members an opportunity to come together in an activity to remember and honor their loved one. Grave blankets serve as a physical way for families to express their emotions.

Originally most grave blankets were used throughout the Christmas season, which is why many incorporate the use of seasonal evergreens. Now, however, it is becoming more common for grave blankets to be used to commemorate other events such as birthdays or anniversaries.

Can anyone put down a grave blanket?

If you wish to create or purchase a grave blanket for a loved one’s grave, it is important to talk to cemetery director first. Some cemeteries have restrictions about what can be placed on a grave. It’s also important to make sure your arrangement isn’t so big that it encroaches on someone else’s grave. You will also want to ensure that your grave blanket is properly secured so that it doesn’t blow away.

What are the payment options for burial or cremation spaces?

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 15:33:43 GMT

Most burial and cremation spaces will require that the space is purchased in full before the actual burial can take place.

While many people do not want to think about the costs of planning a funeral, it is a necessary thing. It can be difficult financially for family members left behind, particularly if the passing was unexpected and a family is not prepared for the costs.

While some people may simply want to set aside some funds to cover the cost of a funeral, it is possible this will be difficult as the funds may not be immediately accessible to family members at the time of a passing.

Most burial and cremation spaces will require that the space is purchased in full before the actual burial can take place. If this is the case, the family will need to come up with these funds right away.

Here are some options to pay for a burial or cremation space.

Insurance

Life insurance can be used to cover the cost of the burial or cremation space. It is usually available quickly to family members in a lump sum. It is also possible to get burial insurance that can cover the cost of a burial. However, be cautious with any type of insurance you buy and make sure you are not likely to end up paying more in premiums than you will get in benefits.

Credit Cards or Loans

If you need funds immediately you can take out a loan or put the costs on a credit card. This could be helpful if you are waiting for life insurance or other money to come through. However, the interest rates can be high, so make careful decisions about how these are used.

Veterans Benefits

If you were in the military, you can possibly be buried in the national cemetery for free. And if you aren’t buried in the national cemetery the VA will pay a portion of the costs to be buried elsewhere.

Savings Account

You can set up a savings account for these specific costs. Be cautious, however, as it can take a while for your family to be able to access these funds. One way to get around this is to set up a joint account with another trusted family member so they can access the funds when needed.

Pre-payment

Another option is to prepay for the burial or cremation space. This can be helpful because the cost of funeral burial spaces increases over time. If you know exactly where you want to be buried, then it is possible to go ahead and purchase a space while you are alive. This can save your family some money and hassle when the time comes.

Honoring Mom’s Legacy

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 15:28:39 GMT

Whether it's the first year or many years after she has passed, there are many ways for your family to honor your mother.

Mother’s Day is this Sunday. Losing a parent is always difficult. Losing your mother is a particularly difficult subject for many who have lost a parent or guardian. Here are a few ways to help honor the legacy of your mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, or mother-like figure in your life.

Flowers
Flowers are a common way to honor mom’s legacy. Roses and daisies are beloved favorites to put on a grave, headstone, or in a niche or columbarium. Silk flowers are a great alternative to real flowers because of their bright colors, affordable options, and their ability to weather all seasons and weather conditions.

Do Something Together at Home

Set a time to watch her favorite show or movie together as a family. Cook a special meal using one of her favorite recipes. Create crafts together in her honor. Play her favorite songs and share old photos.

Plan a Road Trip
If there was a place your mother or grandmother liked to go, plan a trip to visit that location. Whether it’s the beach, a lake, the countryside, or a local park, a trip to honor a legacy is a great way to ease some of the pain of loss. A trip can help not only honor a memory but also help make new positive memories in honor of your lost loved one.

Support a Cause or Charity
Unfortunately, illnesses like breast cancer, diabetes, and Alzheimer’s claim the lives of far too many women in this country. To honor your mother’s legacy, consider donating to a cause or charity that helps provide support, grief resources, and research to help others going through a similar ordeal. Helping others and socializing with individuals who have been through a related struggle may help some grief processes.

Plan ahead this coming week so you can honor your mom’s legacy in a creative, thoughtful, and loving way ... we hope these tips can help.

5 Ways to Honor Your Father's Memory on Father's Day

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 15:18:53 GMT

The passing of a parent is hard, especially each year as holidays roll around. With June comes Father's Day, which can make you miss your father a little more than usual. However, there are plenty of ways that you can honor his memory and make the day meaningful.

The passing of a parent is hard, especially each year as holidays roll around. With June comes Father’s Day, which can make you miss your father a little more than usual. However, there are plenty of ways that you can honor his memory and make the day meaningful even though he’s gone.

1. Visit his grave or ashes.
Make a trip to his gravesite, or spend some time with his ashes. Talk to him as though he were there, and leave flowers or a small memento. You can also have a moment of silence in his honor.

2. Spend time at his favorite place.
Did he have a favorite restaurant or spot in the park or place he liked to visit? Feel his presence with you as you spend time there this year. You could also do one of his favorite activities or make his favorite meal to feel a little closer to him.

3. Reminisce with others.
Talk to family and friends and share the wonderful memories you have together. Look at pictures or keepsakes and remember times past. You can connect with others who knew him and miss him as well and keep his memory alive through your stories.

4. Donate in his memory.
Donate to your late father’s favorite charitable organization or one that supports a cause that affected him. You can honor his memory be making a donation and making a difference.

5. Write him a letter.
Sit down and write a letter telling your father about everything that has been happening in your life. Let him know you miss him. Write down whatever is on your mind. Store all of your letters in a keepsake box or somewhere safe.

Missing your father after he passes is normal, but it is possible to keep his memory alive and honor him through the way you live your life.

Honoring Dads this Father's Day

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 15:16:45 GMT

This Father's Day, let honoring your father's legacy become part of a new tradition.

It's always difficult losing a parent and while Mother's Day is normally the day most choose to honor a parent on, losing a father is just as emotional, difficult and tragic. Remembering fathers, grandfathers and father-figures can be more challenging since flowers are not always appropriate as memorial items. But with a little thought and creativity, there are ways to honor dad's legacy in personal and inventive ways.

Too many fathers and grandfathers are taken due to illnesses like cancer and diabetes. Consider joining a fun run to help support research for the cause or donating in your father or grandfather's name in their honor. Donations, fun runs and supporting causes are all good ways to honor dad and also get other members of the family or community involved to help others in a similar position.

Flowers are a memorialization mainstay but they don't always feel appropriate for remembering dads. Flags, wind chimes, banners and other small memorial totems are a fantastic and at times more appropriate way to honor dad's legacy. And using small flags are additionally fantastic ways to honor our fathers and grandfathers that also served our nation in the armed forces.

If your father or grandfather had a particular hobby like fishing or motorcycle riding, consider going on a trip with your family in their honor. Creating new memories and maintaining the traditions and hobbies your father or grandfather loved can be a more healthy way to move through the grief of losing a parent.

Losing a father can create an irreplaceable loss in a person. If you have the time or resources, consider volunteering your time to an organization that helps mentor your community's youths. Reaching out and volunteering can help ease some of the pain that comes with losing a parent while also helping someone else who could really use the support of a father-figure to help teach some of the vital things that only a father or grandfather can teach.

This Father's Day, let honoring your father's legacy become part of a new tradition. Honoring dad is a healthy and natural way of moving through grief and can help strengthen you, your family and those around you. From our family to yours, we'd like to wish all the fathers, grandfathers, father-figures and future dads a very Happy Father's Day.

Helping Children Through the Loss of a Parent

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 15:14:29 GMT

There's nothing more heartbreaking than when a young child loses a parent. For the surviving parent, who must help their child navigate grief while also going through their own season of mourning, it can be an especially challenging circumstance.

In fact, many parents believe that their primary role is to protect their child from feelings of intense sadness, and to project an image of strength; as such, they try to keep their grief private. Actually, it can be healthy for your child to see you shed tears or mourn in some other way. It helps them to understand that what they are going through is normal and that it’s okay for them to express their sadness in whatever way is natural to them.

Something else that some parents do is try to avoid the topic of grief, leaving it as the unmentioned elephant in the room. Again, this inclination comes from a good place, but may actually be counterproductive. If your child feels like they cannot talk about death or grief, the effect can be isolating. Always be ready to ask questions and have conversations, but let the child set the tone; if they’re not yet ready to talk, there’s no need to force it.

More than anything, it matters that you listen and that you reassure your child that you love them and are going to take care of them. Journey with them through stages of grieving, understanding that the death of a parent is never anything you "get over.” At the same time, try to create a sense of normalcy; maintain as many of your regular rituals and activities as possible, helping your child see that even in grief, there are still things to feel joyful about.

Supporting Those Who Lost a Mother

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 15:12:30 GMT

Losing a mother can be an unbelievably painful thing for people at any age. Supporting those through loss can be difficult.

Losing a mother can be an unbelievably painful thing for people at any age. Supporting those through loss can be difficult but being there for those who lost their mothers is an important part of people healing through their grief journey.

These days it can be difficult to support a grieving friend or loved one due to social distancing. However, there are still many ways you can let them know you are there for them.

On Mother's Day or any other significant holiday, offer to go with your friend or loved one to lay flowers on their mother's grave, provided that all local social distancing restrictions are followed. Visiting a cemetery is seldom easy to do alone and your company may make a painful visit a little less difficult. If you were close to your friend's mother, you may wish to bring flowers yourself to honor her in your own special way.

Offer to attend grief meetings if that is the route they wish to go. For many, the loss of a mother is especially painful, and seeking the help of professionals and caregivers is a productive way for someone to work through their grief. Grief meetings can be daunting to do alone so offering your time and company may make the task a little easier. For the time being, grief meetings will likely be held virtually. If this is the case, simply ask if it is possible to attend the meeting that way along with your friend. Seeing a friendly face and hearing a familiar voice on the screen may make your friend feel more comfortable.

Have a Mother’s Day brunch meal delivered to your friend’s house. This delivery can be made into a personal memorial by the simple addition of another place setting for the mom who passed away. Send some flowers to your friend and let them know they can mark their mother’s spot with them. Even in death, mothers never lose their place at the table and honoring that treasured space may make your friend less alone in their grief.

Mother's Day can be difficult to deal with after the loss of a mother or grandmother. At times, grief can feel isolating but supporting those who lost their mother is an important task in empathy and understanding that can make a difficult loss a little less painful.

Exes, Stepchildren and a Funeral - Planning Matters

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 15:03:00 GMT

For many, funerals, visitations, wakes and burials are all important ways to remember - and celebrate - the life of a loved one. However, in some circumstances the life of the deceased may present a complex or complicated family tree. When arranging a funeral, it can be difficult for current spouses and relatives to plan around inviting and involving ex-spouses, stepchildren and others who may have been close to the deceased at some point.

Contention in the Family
If you are planning a funeral, it is important to remember that it is always best to arrange for what the departed would have wanted. While it may be a struggle, proper etiquette dictates setting aside any personal emotions you may have about other individuals who may have been close to the deceased - such as an ex-spouse. Ideally, it is important to make sure that all family members have an opportunity to gain closure through whatever funerary traditions are laid out.

In these situations, every arrangement may be made on a case-by-case basis. In some cases, exes will get along with current spouses and there will be little disagreement to be had at the ceremony and any other related events. In other situations, some from past marriages may feel that it is best to sit at the back during the funeral, so as to pay respect in a reserved fashion.

Stepchildren or children who may have come from other parents can also be difficult, especially when planning on how to involve them in the funeral. If the deceased played a strong parental role in the individual's life, it is recommended to welcome them into the ceremony and allow them closure if they so choose.

When Tension Cannot Be Mitigated
If family drama will not be able to be set aside during a funeral, it is highly recommended that all individuals pre-plan for these situations before they occur. Whether requesting a private funeral or detailing such desires in a will, individuals can ensure that certain past family members do not attend a funeral or event to avoid unwelcome tension.

What are some options for my family to honor my father on Father's Day?

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 14:54:49 GMT

Whether it's the first year or many years after he has passed, there are many ways to for your family to honor your father.

Father's Day can be a difficult day for those who have lost a father. Whether it's the first year or many years after he has passed, there are many ways to for your family to honor your father.

On Father’s Day you may want to remember your father by visiting his final resting place. A visit to a cemetery or memorial park can be a special time of healing and reflection, but it can also be a sad time. If you visit for Father’s Day, you may want to take a few moments to think of a special tribute you can do to make the time feel more meaningful.

1) Flower arrangements – fresh or silk flowers can be placed on the headstone. These can be themed for any of dad’s interests such as his favorite sports team or hobby.

2) Write a letter – write letters to your father. Read them either silently or aloud when you get there.

3) Plant a tree – depending on where the cemetery is located, it may be possible to plant a tree, bush or flower plant near the grave site.

4) Cemetery Cross – have a personalized cemetery cross made.

5) Add a marble photo – send a photograph off to have it engraved on a piece of marble that can be affixed to a headstone or other structure.

6) Patriotic wreaths or ribbons – if your father was a veteran, make a patriotic wreath or ribbons to decorate the headstone.

7) Grave jewelry – engrave a phrase, Bible verse, poem or other wording of your choosing on a marble slab that can be affixed to a headstone.

8) Resin sign – if you don’t want to make something that needs to be attached to a headstone, a personalized resin sign is a good alternative. These signs can be made in a variety of phrases and are designed to stick in the ground.

9) Personalized grave marker – have a marker made with dad’s photograph. Often these can be made on a stake designed to go in the ground near the gravesite.

10) Grave blankets – purchase or make a grave blanket to lay over the grave site

11) Meditation or prayer - Take some time to reflect in silence, either through meditation or prayer, depending on your beliefs.

12) Play music – play his favorite song

13) Share stories or special memories – gather family members and share stories. Remember the good times, the laughter and the love.

14) Clean the monument - Monuments can become dirty over time. While the cemetery will maintain the grounds, they likely will not clean the headstones. You can take some soap, water and rag to clean off the headstone or monument.

15) Check with the cemetery and see what options they have - Some cemeteries will have special events on Father’s Day. They may hand out flowers or have other types of ongoing memorials you can participate in.

There are many ways to honor fathers who have passed on Father’s Day. Hopefully one of these ideas will be the perfect fit for you and your family.

What to Do With Family Plots When Families Change

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 14:51:56 GMT

Sometimes individuals will find that their relatives have purchased comprehensive family burial plots for children and other loved ones to use. However, many find that it is uncommon for families to "stay together” geographically in a way to practically use these burial plots. In addition, children—and grandchildren—of the original deed-holder will often wish to be buried with their spouse or pursue another form of burial.

Is it Disrespectful to Not Use a Family Burial Plot?
Many will question whether it is disrespectful to plan to be buried in another cemetery than what one’s predecessors purchased. However, it is important to remember that every individual has a right to carry out his or her funeral and burial as chosen. Having these discussions before the plot owner or deed holder has passed can be a great way to mitigate any future confusion—and possibly sell any unneeded plots.

Memorializing a Family Plot with a Marker
Although an individual may wish to place his or her remains somewhere other than a family plot, there are some ways to memorialize the concept of the family without having to pursue burial. For example, if the deceased wishes to be buried next to a spouse in a different location, the surviving relatives can opt to place an additional marker on the original family plot. Although an individual is not buried there, this is a great way to respect the wishes of parents, grandparents, and other ancestors without having to compromise the personal desires of the deceased.

May I Ask a Cemetery Owner or Operator to Help Me Find a Gravesite?

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 14:47:42 GMT

The question is, who can you ask to help you find the grave you are looking for? Is it proper etiquette to contact the cemetery owner or operator to provide you with some direction?

This is a common conundrum: You wish to pay your respects to a deceased loved one or ancestor and you know which cemetery they are buried in. What you don’t know is exactly where their gravesite is located - and in vast, sprawling cemeteries, this can post a big logistical problem.

The question is, who can you ask to help you find the grave you are looking for? Is it proper etiquette to contact the cemetery owner or operator to provide you with some direction?

The short answer to this question is yes, though you may not need to speak with a cemetery owner directly. These days, a lot of cemeteries have websites where you can get the lay of the land and develop some sense of where your loved one is buried. Often, this is the quickest way to find the information you’re looking for.

But if the cemetery doesn’t have a website, or you still need assistance, it’s perfectly fine to contact the cemetery’s owner or operator. It’s best to gather some key information before you do so, however - including the full name of the deceased and if possible, the year of their birth and the year of their death. This simply helps the cemetery owner to locate your loved one more quickly.

An alternative is to reach out to the local funeral home; even if it’s not affiliated with the cemetery in question, it may have access to records that show where your loved one is buried.

In short, there’s always a way to identify the final resting place of your loved one, so never hesitate to ask!

What is a glass niche?

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 14:41:55 GMT

Urns can be displayed in a cemetery. This way, you and your family will have a spot to go to remember and honor you loved one whenever you choose.

Once a loved one has been cremated you may be wondering what to do with the urn. Urns can be displayed in a cemetery. This way, you and your family will have a spot to go to remember and honor you loved one whenever you choose.

A glass front niche is a popular way to display the urn. The urns are housed in a columbarium, which is an indoor setting that has multiple niches for urns.

Glass front niches are typically sold in individual or companion sizes. The individual niches hold one urn and the companion niches can hold two.

Once the niche has been purchased you will be able to design it in the best way possible to memorialize your loved one. One of the best things about a glass front niche is that it gives you the ability to personalize the niche as a tribute to a loved one.

What are some things to consider when planning your niche?

One thing to do is to know the rules of the columbarium. While you will likely have some freedom in the items you want to display along with the urn, some cemeteries restrictions on what can be placed in a glass niche. For example, some cemeteries do not allow artificial flowers. Some cemeteries may also have restrictions on the design of the urn as well.

You will also be limited on what can fit in the niche due to its size. You will want to take the niche size into consideration both when purchasing an urn and when deciding what you want to place in the niche. If the urn is too large you may not have space to display other objects.

What are some things to place in the niche?

Here are some common ideas for memorial items to place in a niche.

Pictures: These could be pictures of your loved one or pictures of other family members or pets.
Religious articles: Items such as rosaries, crosses or other objects that honor your loved one’s religious beliefs.
Mementos: Any smaller objects that were important to your loved one could be displayed. Items from travels or hobbies can help personalize the space.
Jewelry: If there was some special jewelry you loved one wore it could be displayed in the niche. Wedding rings or other sentimental pieces are popular.

If you have any questions about how to find a cemetery that has a columbarium that meets you needs or need any help along the way, just ask your funeral director. They will be able to answer any questions you may have.

Jewish Customs Regarding Cremation

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 14:37:24 GMT

Views regarding cremation vary greatly from religion to religion, and even sometimes within a religion. Orthodox Jewish beliefs do not condone cremation. However, Reformed Jewish communities and some Conservative Jews are more lenient.

Traditional Jewish customs believe in returning the body as a whole to the earth from which it came. The body does not undergo an autopsy (unless in extenuating circumstances), it is not embalmed (unless required by the state), and no makeup is applied. Furthermore, it is never left unattended from the time of death through burial; it is guarded by a shomer at all times. Once the body is washed and purified, it is dressed in a simple white shroud and placed in a wooden casket with no metal or adornments.

Cremation is a desecration of the body according to Jewish beliefs. Burial of the body allows the soul to slowly descend to heaven, whereas cremation is an immediate process. With burial, the body and casket are able to naturally biodegrade and become one with the earth once more. As the Bible states, "For dust you are, and to dust you will return” (Genesis 3:19).

Conservative or Reformed rabbis may still conduct traditional Jewish funerals for individuals who have chosen to be cremated. Depending on their beliefs, they may or may not be present for the interment. If cremation is something that an individual desires, they may wish to speak to their rabbi about this option and its impact on the rest of the funeral and burial processes.

Until more recently, and according to traditional Jewish law, cremation was not condoned, so it is not common to attend a Jewish funeral where the body has been cremated.

What Cremation Terms are Important to Know

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 21:59:24 GMT

When a loved one dies, you're suddenly forced to make a lot of tough decisions about cremation, burial, and memorialization. One of the biggest challenges is mastering the terminology.

When a loved one dies, you're suddenly forced to make a lot of tough decisions about cremation, burial, and memorialization. One of the biggest challenges is mastering the terminology. Simply put, cremation entails a lot of "lingo" that you may be unfamiliar with.

For example, what's a columbarium ? The columbarium is a structure, typically found in a cemetery or church setting, with different compartments or niches in it for placing urns. These structures serve as mausoleums and provide a way for you to give your loved one's cremated remains a final resting place.

Another term you might come across is cremains. It is simply a portmanteau of cremated remains, that is, the "ashes" produced in the cremation process.

Disposition is the act of placing cremains in their final resting place - whether that's in a cemetery, a memorial garden, or elsewhere. Entombment specifically refers to burial in a mausoleum. Finally, interment refers to a burial of cremated remains in the ground or a mausoleum. This is not to be confused with inurnment , which refers to the placement of cremated remains in an urn.

An urn is simply the container in which you place cremated remains. You might memorialize this urn in your home for a season, but most of the time the urn finds its final destination in a cemetery. One final term to know is niche, which refers to the place in a columbarium where you might place your loved one's urn.

Knowing some of these terms can help you feel more confident as you seek to make the best decisions for your loved one, or even when pre-planning your cremation and funeral. Contact a local funeral provider for additional assistance and guidance.

How to Save or Display Cremated Remains in Your Home

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 21:57:05 GMT

One of the benefits of cremation is that it allows for many different options, allowing you to decide how best you'd like to preserve the memory of your loved one.

What happens after your deceased loved one has been cremated? What do you and the other members of the family do with those cremated remains? One of the benefits of cremation is that it allows for many different options, allowing you to decide how best you'd like to preserve the memory of your loved one.

Customarily, the funeral home will provide you with an urn in which the cremated remains rest - but during the funeral planning process, you might ask about alternate ideas. For example, you can have some of your loved one's remains placed into jewelry and other keepsakes, allowing for elegant ways of holding onto their memory.

As for the urn itself, take care to select a style that meshes with the rest of your home décor - making it easy for you to proudly display the urn in a place of honor. Urns come in many different styles, from wooden to ceramic to metal; find one that fits in with the overall aesthetic of your home, not one that's going to stand out.

It's typical to have the urn in your home for a season, but ultimately, most families want their loved one to have a more "permanent destination" somewhere where there won't be any risk of the urn being bumped or broken. Interment in a cemetery is usually the most sensible approach.

You may also wish to request a smaller keepsake urn to have in your home. These miniature-version urns typically hold about three cubic inches of cremated remains, and as such they can make for more subtle, discreet additions to your home décor. Meanwhile, a larger urn can be interred at a cemetery in a cremation memorial, providing a hallowed place for your loved one's remains.

How can I memorialize my loved one's grave in a green cemetery?

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 21:54:15 GMT

Green cemeteries want to make sure to keep the area as natural as possible.

One of the most important reasons to bury a loved one in a cemetery is to have a place to visit. Having a physical place to go to remember a loved one is an integral part of the grieving process. When families go to visit their loved one’s grave, they often want to do something to memorialize their loved one.

Traditionally, this involves placing flowers (real or silk), wreaths, ribbons, or bows on a grave. However, in green cemeteries these typical grave memorials will likely not be allowed. This is because green cemeteries want to make sure to keep the area as natural as possible.

They also want to lessen their environmental impact, which likely means they won’t allow things like silk flowers or wreaths which are man-made, do not biodegrade, and may make trash that pollutes the environment.

It’s also important to note that many green cemeteries do not use traditional grave markers. They may use a simple stone or have a large stone wall near by with all the names of those buried there.

So, if you can’t memorialize a loved one’s grave in the traditional ways, what can you do?

1) Flower arrangements – Check with the cemetery, but you may still be able to leave an arrangement of fresh flowers at the grave site.

2) Write a letter – Write letters to your loved one. Read them either silently or aloud when you get there.

3) Plant a tree – Depending on the cemetery policies, it may be possible to plant a tree, bush, or flower plant near the grave site.

4) Meditation or prayer - Take some time to reflect in silence, either through meditation or prayer, depending on your beliefs.

5) Play music – Play your loved one’s favorite songs.

6) Share stories or special memories – gather family members and share stories. Remember the good times, the laughter, and the love.

7) Take a picnic – Make your loved one’s favorite food and have a picnic in the cemetery.

8) Take a walk or hike – Many cemeteries have walking paths, so you can take a stroll around the grounds. Some types of green cemeteries are actually nature preserves where you can hike as well.

9) Create some art – If you are an artist, or even if art is just a hobby for you, take some art supplies to the cemetery. Green cemeteries are often very natural looking, and you may even see some wildlife in some cases. Take some time to reflect while you create your art in the space.

While you may have to find new ways to memorialize a loved one in a green cemetery, there are certainly many options.

Is embalming a necessary part of the burial process?

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 21:51:35 GMT

Embalming isn't really necessary. In most cases it is more of an aesthetic issue than a public health issue.

Embalming is the process of preserving human remains for public display. It uses a chemical mixture, which is very toxic. This mixture delays decomposition and makes the body look more "natural” for a public viewing.

However, embalming isn’t really necessary. In most cases it is more of an aesthetic issue than a public health issue.

How did embalming get started?

Prior to the Civil War all burials were "green burials.” This is because the process of embalming did not exist. Embalming began during the Civil War. When soldiers died on the battlefield they were often far from home. Embalming allowed a soldier’s family to either come identify the body or be able to ship it home to be buried.

Ever since then, embalming has been a regular part of the funeral process. Embalming continues to preserve a loved one’s body to allow for a viewing before a funeral. This gives families time for grieving and closure.

Isn’t embalming required by law?

No, embalming is not required by law. Funeral homes may encourage families to embalm a loved one for a viewing, but it is within your rights to decline the process. As people move towards green burials this is happening more often. Funeral homes will likely ask you to sign something saying that you decline embalming, however.

There are some cases when embalming may be required to transport a decedent. If the decedent is being transported across state lines or out of the country, then it is possible embalming would be required. This depends on the requirements of the transportation company and the state or country involved. This is likely the only instance when embalming might be required.

What methods of preservation are possible in place of embalming?

If a family is not planning on a viewing, then there is no need to preserve a body prior to burial. This means that a family can still have visiting hours for friends and family but there would simply not be a public viewing.

A decedent’s body can be preserved using cooling methods such as dry ice or Techni-ice or a refrigeration unit. This can still allow for a private family viewing to identify the body. If a family wishes for a public viewing, sometimes this can also be arranged.

What makes a burial casket or urn green?

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 21:49:11 GMT

A green casket or urn is one that is made from natural materials.

A green casket or urn is one that is made from natural materials. It will easily decompose in the earth and has as little impact on the earth as possible.

Many families are looking for ways to make their funerals and burials more "green.” Having a Green Burial or a Green Funeral can mean many different things. But one thing that families can easily do is to use a green casket or urn for burial.

Why choose a green casket or urn?

Families are choosing green caskets and urns in order to help protect the environment. Green caskets and urns are biodegradable, so they break down and return to the earth easily. They also help lessen carbon emissions through their manufacturing and transport.

Traditional caskets take a very long time to break down in the soil. Parts of the caskets that are metal or have been treated with chemicals can take even longer.

What are green caskets or urns made from?

To be considered green, the casket or urn must be made from plant-based, natural, or animal materials. This includes the shell, liner, and any adornments on the outside. Only handles or fasteners are excluded from this requirement. The casket or urn must be sustainably produced. It must also be made from renewable sources and it must be biodegradable. Another requirement is that the transportation of ANY component material does not travel more than 3000 miles. This helps reduce the carbon footprint of producing the casket or urn.

While it may not always be possible to have a full green burial or funeral, choosing a green casket is a great way to lessen your environmental impact.

Green caskets can be made from:

Bamboo
Organic wool
Organic cotton
Hemp
Banana leaves
Rattan
Cork
Recycled cardboard
Other sustainable woods such as teak or willow

How can I purchase a Green Casket or Urn?

Green Burial certified funeral homes will have green casket or urn options available. To make sure that your funeral home of choice is green certified, visit the Green Burial Council website.

The website also has a directory for Green Burial certified funeral products. If there is a not a Green Burial certified funeral home in your area, you can purchase a burial container and bring it to any funeral home.

How can I find out if I can have a green burial or funeral home in my area?

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 21:41:38 GMT

If a green burial or funeral is something you or a loved one are interested in, then there is an option available to you in your state.

Green burials and funerals are becoming more and more popular. The first green certified provider was in 2006. Today, there are nearly 300 Green Burial certified funeral homes in the U.S. and Canada. If a green burial or funeral is something you or a loved one are interested in, then there is an option available to you in your state.

If you are interested in having a green burial or funeral, the Green Burial Council website is a great place to start.

There are several ways that a funeral or burial can be considered green. A green funeral is one that uses more natural elements. If there is a viewing of the body, it will not be preserved with embalming fluid prior to the viewing.

A green burial is when a body is buried without the use of embalming fluids. The casket or burial container is biodegradable, and a grave liner is not used.

A green cemetery is one that does not use grave liners. They will also often use more traditional methods of lawn care that do not involve the use of pesticides. A grave liner is a concrete box that keeps the cemetery ground from shifting and allows for large mowers to mow the grass. Since grave liners are not used in a green cemetery there is less mowing and lawn upkeep and the landscape is typically more natural looking.

It is possible to have any, or all of these, green options as part of a funeral and burial. It may be that you are able to find a green cemetery in your area but not a certified green funeral home. Or vice versa.

The first step to finding a green funeral home or cemetery is to check the Green Burial Council website. The Green Burial Council is the only entity that certifies that a funeral home or cemetery is "green.” Funeral homes and cemeteries must undergo a certification process to become certified and are also monitored for ongoing compliance.

The Green Burial Council website has a directory of all the certified funeral homes and cemeteries in the U.S. and Canada. You can search their directory or contact the Green Burial council by phone or email if you have any questions.

If, for some reason, you do not find a certified funeral home or cemetery in your area that doesn’t mean that you can’t still have a green funeral.

The Green Burial Council website provides consumer education so you can learn more about what a green funeral or burial entails. This way, you can make sure to ask your funeral home for green choices and options. Many will help find a way to accommodate your preferences. It is also important to note that embalming is not legally required in most cases, so you can decline embalming as one easy step towards having a green burial.

What are the environmental benefits of a green burial?

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 21:38:54 GMT

The focus of a green burial is to lessen the environmental impact of the entire funeral and burial process.

Traditional burials are very resource heavy. Today, many people feel that the traditional funeral methods are not sustainable. However, many of the traditional funeral practices are simply that, traditional. The reason we do them is because that is what has been done for the last hundred years or so. But this certainly does not need to be the case.

A safer environment

The embalming process is a very traditional part of a funeral. The embalming process preserves a body for viewing. However, it is not necessary or required by law, as many people think. Green funerals eliminate the embalming process.

When a body is embalmed, toxic fluids are used for preservation. These fluids pose a danger to the funeral home workers. And while funeral homes take steps to minimize the environmental impact of their use, it is likely that some of the fluids still escape into the environment at different points in the process.

Green burials eliminate the embalming process altogether. They may use refrigeration or dry ice to preserve a body, but that is typically all.

Conservation of metal and precious wood resources

Caskets are considered very resource heavy. The are made of metal and precious woods such as mahogany or cherry. They are typically not made of sustainable materials. The caskets are painted with heavy paints and finishes to protect them. It can take hundreds of years for a casket to biodegrade.

To be considered a green burial casket, the casket must be made of natural, sustainable, biodegradable materials. Things such as bamboo, cardboard or cork can all be used.

Reduction of carbon footprint

Vaults and monuments have a very large environmental impact. They require considerable resources to make. Traditional caskets are placed inside a concrete grave liner, which does not break down or biodegrade. Headstones can also take up valuable resources and take considerable energy to make – from mining to transport.

Green funerals try to eliminate the grave liners or other vaults. Often, they do not use traditional headstones. Instead they use a stone, bush, or tree to mark a gravesite. Or there may be one large monument for everyone buried in the cemetery with names and dates inscribed.

Conservation of the Natural Habitat

Since green burials eliminate things like headstones, vaults, and grave liners they also help preserve the natural habitat. With many traditional cemeteries, the lawns are maintained with pesticides. Most green cemeteries allow their lawns to be natural. In this case, flowers and native plants can thrive. Animals and wildlife are common and may find refuge in the area. In some cases, the cemetery itself is in a conservation area that sets aside the land not only for burial, but for the specific protection of plants and animals.

There are many ways that green burials can have a positive impact on the natural environment.

What are the different types of green cemeteries?

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 21:36:20 GMT

As families are becoming more interested in green burials it is important to understand your green burial cemetery options.

There are three types of green cemeteries. All three types must be certified by the Green Burial Council to be considered truly green.

Hybrid Cemeteries or Burial Grounds

Hybrid cemeteries or burial grounds are ones that can be a part of another traditional cemetery. In this case, the cemetery sets aside a part of their land to be green burial certified. The green burial portion of the cemetery must offer that burials be done without the use of a grave liner. A grave liner is a heavy concrete box, slab, or vault that a casket or coffin is traditionally placed in.

Hybrid burial grounds do not have embalming requirements. They must also allow for the use of a green funeral casket which are biodegradable.

Natural Cemeteries or Burial Grounds

Natural cemeteries or burial grounds prohibit the use of grave liners, slabs, or vaults. They also prohibit the use of embalming with traditional chemicals. And they ban burial containers that are not made from natural or plant-based materials.

Natural burial grounds must also be maintained without the use of pesticides on the lawn, so the grounds will have a more natural look to them. It is also important to note that natural burial grounds will likely limit the types and sizes of memorial markers to preserve the natural look of the cemetery.

Conservation Cemeteries or Burial Grounds

Conservation burial grounds are the greenest options. To be a conservation burial ground, a cemetery must meet all the criteria for a natural cemetery. Conservation burial grounds are actual land preserves and are owned by the government or a land trust organization. They are non-profits. Conservation cemeteries guarantee long-term stewardship of the land and the land is designated specifically for conservation. There are only seven conservation cemeteries in the U.S. right now.

Conservation cemeteries typically act as both a memorial to those buried there as well as a way for visitors to connect with nature. Many have hiking and footpaths and may be connected to other state parks.

If you have more questions about green burials or cemeteries, don’t hesitate to ask us. We are happy to help!

What is a Green Burial?

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 21:34:05 GMT

A green burial (sometimes also called a natural burial) is a way of caring for the dead in a way that has little environmental impact.

A green burial (sometimes also called a natural burial) is a way of caring for the dead in a way that has little environmental impact. It also helps conserve natural resources and habitats, protects funeral industry worker’s health, and reduces carbon emissions.

Are green burials legal?

Yes. Green burials are legal. While some cemeteries may require families to purchase caskets or grave liners, this is their own individual policy. Cemeteries are within their rights to make these policies. But is it not the law that someone MUST be buried in a casket or with a grave liner. If you are interested in a green burial it is important to ask the cemetery of your choice what their policies are. You may have to find a different cemetery if the one you choose does not meet your needs.

Can anyone have a green burial?

Yes. Some people may wonder if they are a candidate for a green burial if they have undergone radiation or chemotherapy or if they passed away from an infectious disease. Or if they have implants or dental fillings. With green burials these are typically not a problem. The wonderful system of microbes in our earth acts as a filtration system. And most diseases are not infectious after death. Things like radiation and chemotherapy dissipate. It is also important to note that traditional burial methods do not fully seal away those things either. And funeral workers are exposed to all those things in the traditional embalming process.

How can I make my loved one’s funeral "green?”

There are multiple points in the death care process that can be done in a green or natural way. While it may not be possible to have all components of funeral be "green,” it is important to understand your options.

Green Funerals

Traditionally, funerals incorporate a viewing or wake. This public or private gathering prior to the funeral allows family and friends to gather and say good-bye to a loved one. When a green funeral occurs, it does not need to replace funeral traditions. There will, however, likely be some changes.

With a green funeral, wakes and visiting hours may occur, but the body is typically not viewed by the public. This is because with a green funeral the deceased is not embalmed with toxic chemicals. Private family viewings may occur to identify the body, however.

Green Burials

For a green burial, either the casket or urn, or the way the casket or urn is buried, can be considered "green.” Traditional caskets are made of materials that can take many years to biodegrade. They are often painted with paints containing harsh chemicals. A green burial option is to use a biodegradable casket or urn. These burial containers are made from wood that is unpainted, cardboard, or other natural materials.

It is also possible in some instances to forgo a burial vault or liner. While not all cemeteries will allow this, some are starting to designate areas for this type of natural burial.

Green Cemeteries

Finally, the cemetery you choose can also be considered green. There are several different levels of green cemetery certification. Some cemeteries operated a hybrid model and designate a portion of their space for green burials. This means they do not require the use of burial vault or liner in these areas.

Then, there are also cemeteries that are fully green and natural. They have more restrictions on the types of materials used for grave markers or the types of pesticides used for lawn care. In these cemeteries all burials would be considered green using a biodegradable casket and no grave liners or vaults.

If you have more questions about green burials or cemeteries, don’t hesitate to ask us. We are happy to help!

Can I still have a green funeral or burial if I prepaid for my arrangements?

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 21:31:50 GMT

The good news is, even if you have prepaid for funeral arrangements it is still possible to incorporate green elements into your funeral.

These days many people prepay for funeral arrangements. It is a thoughtful thing to do for surviving family members because it takes much of the planning and financial burden off them in their time of grief.

However, you may wonder what happens if you change your mind about your arrangement plans? Green burial options did not really become popular until the last few years, so if you preplanned your funeral it is likely you were not given a green burial option.

The good news is, even if you have prepaid for funeral arrangements it is still possible to incorporate green elements into your funeral.

Embalming

Embalming is one area where it is easy to go green. Embalming is not required by law. And funeral homes are required to tell you this. You can contact your funeral home of choice and let them know your decision is not to embalm. They will likely require you to sign a paper stating you understand your choice. It is important to know that the funeral home will, most likely, not be able to accommodate a public viewing if embalming is declined. But there can still be visitation hours with the family.

Burial Casket or Urn

If you prepaid for a casket or urn, you may still be able to make a switch to a different type of material. If you wish for a green burial, use of a biodegradable casket or urn is a good choice. Many funeral homes are starting to offer biodegradable options. If they don’t you can order one from a third-party vendor and have it shipped to the funeral home of your choice. However, you may want to consider the extra cost of getting another casket and talk to the funeral home about charges for changes.

Burial Plot

Changing your burial plot is much more difficult. If you decide you want to be buried somewhere, but you have already purchased a burial plot you have several options. One is to simply purchase a burial plot in a green cemetery. However, this can be expensive.

You can also try to sell your original burial plot to help finance the cost of a new plot. A cemetery may be willing to buy back a burial plot (though it will likely be at a lesser cost than what you originally paid). It is also possible to resell burial plots, though you need to check to make sure of any needed documents and fees to transfer the plot to someone else.

Many cemeteries are now changing to hybrid green cemeteries. This means that they are incorporating a green burial area into their regular cemetery grounds. If this is the case, you can contact your cemetery and ask about switching to a green burial area. There may be some fees associated with the switch, however. And it is likely the new green plot will cost more as there is typically a smaller supply of green plots available.

How is a green burial different from a traditional burial?

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 21:29:58 GMT

Green burial practices are meant to lessen the environmental impact of the funeral process.

In many ways a green burial is like a traditional burial. Green burial practices are meant to lessen the environmental impact of the funeral process. They can still preserve many of the important aspects of a traditional funeral while blending them with more environmentally conscious options.

There will be some differences between a traditional funeral and green funeral or burial.

Materials

Traditional caskets are made with paint, varnish, metal, and precious woods. In contrast, green burial caskets are made of natural and biodegradable materials such as bamboo or rattan.

Cost

Green burials can reduce some of the costs associated with the traditional funeral. Since embalming isn’t used, there is no cost for this. Caskets can get very expensive and biodegradable options can be considerably cheaper since they are easier to make. If the cemetery you choose does not require a vault or grave liner you can forgo this cost as well. And since most green cemeteries do not allow traditional headstones you can skip this cost too.

Some things may be more expensive, however, such as the plot itself. Since green cemeteries are relatively new, they may not have as much space available. In this case, since the supply is less, it may be that demand drives the price of the grave plot up.

Some cemeteries may also choose to hand dig their graves, since machine digging is difficult without grave liners, and is also considered to be less environmentally friendly. If this is the case, the cost to dig the grave would likely be more than a traditional grave.

Also, even if embalming isn’t used, there will be costs for refrigeration or dry ice to preserve a body, if that is necessary. Though those costs are typically less than embalming.

Depth

Green burial graves are typically dug to a depth of 3.5 feet. Traditional graves are 5 – 6 feet deep. Some people may wonder if the shallow grave will attract animals. But even the depth of only 3.5 feet is enough to keep animals away.

Space

Green cemeteries may actually require somewhat more space between gravesites and so can require a larger burial plot. This is because there are no grave liners or vaults to mark each grave. Cemeteries will want to space gravesites out enough that they won’t accidentally disturb one grave when digging a new one. This can mean that the plot itself will cost more than a traditional plot.

All Green Burial certified funeral homes are committed to being transparent. They will provide you with a cost sheet so you can begin to understand your options. But the best thing to do is to reach out to a Green Burial certified funeral home and ask questions.

Can I mark my loved one's grave in a green cemetery?

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 21:26:34 GMT

The goal of a green cemetery is for it to look as natural as possible.

One thing people may not think about when deciding on a green funeral is how it will affect a grave marker.

The type of gravestone or marker used in a green cemetery will depend on the cemetery policies. Many cemeteries recognize that families still want a specific spot to visit, so they allow some type of grave marker.

There are three different types of green cemeteries. Depending on the type of cemetery you choose, the type of headstone or marker will likely need to be different from a traditional headstone.

Traditional headstones are made of things like marble, granite or iron. They are inscribed with the names and dates of the deceased. Traditional headstones can create a lot of carbon emissions to produce. The stone must be cut and hauled. It must be polished and inscribed. All of this takes resources and energy.

Green cemeteries, however, strive to be more natural and have a smaller environmental impact. The goal of a green cemetery is for it to look as natural as possible. So, the typical cemetery landscape with a manicured lawn and large headstones is not what they want. But they also know that people want to be able to mark their loved one’s grave site.

Green cemeteries have come up with different ways to get around this problem.

These days, many cemeteries are starting to trend toward large group memorial walls or sculptures. These walls list those buried in the area and some may show the location where they are buried as well.

Other cemeteries may use natural materials for markers such as uncut stones. In this case there are likely requirements for the size. Or stones may be limited to those that fit with the landscape, lay flat and are not polished.

And some green cemeteries may not have any markers allowed at all. Instead they want the landscape to remain as natural as possible. In these cases, the meadow or forest itself is the memorial.

What does it mean if a cemetery or funeral home is Green Burial Council certified?

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 21:24:17 GMT

What does it mean if a cemetery or funeral home is Green Burial Council certified?

While some cemeteries or funeral homes may market themselves as "green,” to truly be a Green Funeral Home or Cemetery they must be Green Burial Council certified. If you wish to have a green burial, then it is important to make sure the funeral home or cemetery of your choice is certified.

The Green Burial Council has certification programs for both burial grounds and funeral homes.

Green Burial Certified funeral homes and cemeteries are committed to caring for the dead with minimal impact on the environment. They work to conserve natural resources, preserve local habitats, reduce carbon emissions, and protect the health of their workers. They do this using specific "green” standards.

How do funeral homes become Green Burial certified?

To become Green Burial certified, funeral homes must follow the Green Burial Council standards. This means that a funeral home must be transparent about their green burial practices. When a funeral home has committed to using green burial standards, they will not embalm a body. They will only preserve a body using non-toxic and biodegradable chemicals, if they use any at all. They may also use various cooling methods to preserve a body. Another important service includes the availability Green Burial Council approved burial containers which are biodegradable.

How do cemeteries become Green Burial certified?

There are several different types of green cemeteries. All are committed to preserving the natural habitats of the area and conserving natural resources. This means that the cemetery offers an option for burial without the need for a vault, concrete box, or slab. They may also prohibit the use of embalming chemicals. Lawn care may also be done without the use of pesticides and other chemicals, leading to a more natural appearance.

How does the certification process work?

Cemeteries and funeral homes must apply for certification. Their applications are reviewed. Once they are certified they will be listed on the Green Burial Council directory. Green funeral homes and cemeteries are also subject to ongoing compliance monitoring. This means customers can be assured they are making the best choice when deciding on a particular green funeral home or cemetery.

Once approved, funeral homes can display the Green Burial Council logo on their websites and print materials. You can look for this logo when searching for a green burial funeral home in your area.

Why do you need to use a vault when you bury an urn at a cemetery?

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 21:22:11 GMT

Many people may wonder why you need a vault to bury an urn at a cemetery. It may seem, since the ashes are already stored in a container, that a vault would not be necessary. But this is not the case. Most cemeteries will require that if you bury an urn that you place it inside a vault as well.

Many people may wonder why you need a vault to bury an urn at a cemetery. Typically, when someone is buried in a casket the casket is placed in a vault. The vault is a large concrete or metal box that holds the casket. It helps keep the ground of the cemetery level and also protects the casket. When a loved one is cremated, however, their ashes will be placed in an urn. However, many families still wish to bury the urn in a cemetery so that they have a place to go to remember their loved one.

It may seem, since the ashes are already stored in a container, that a vault would not be necessary. But this is not the case. Most cemeteries will require that if you bury an urn that you place it inside a vault as well.

First, the vault serves the same purpose for the urn as it does for a casket. The vault helps keep the grounds of the cemetery level.

The vault also protects the urn. Many urns are made from stone materials or porcelain and could potentially break if the ground shifts too much.

Another reason that urns need to be in a vault is in the event that a family wishes to disinter the urn. At some point in the future, a family may decide they would like to move the urn to another location for burial. If this happens, it can be hard to dig up just a single urn. There is a good chance that an unprotected urn would break during the disinterment process. A vault is not only easier to locate in the ground but safer to dig up.

If you do not wish to have your loved one buried in a vault you can always choose to scatter their ashes. Some cemeteries have special spots where you can scatter ashes. This way you would still have a location to go to remember your loved one. Or you can choose another, meaningful location to scatter your loved one’s ashes. Just make sure to check for local laws and restrictions before you do so.

What is Perpetual Care?

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 21:18:48 GMT

In the interest of public health and the common good, the government provides some basic guidelines and regulations for the upkeep of cemeteries. Many of these regulations center on the notion of perpetual care.

There are many misconceptions about what perpetual care is and what it isn’t, but basically, it just refers to the funds that are used to repair and maintain cemeteries. For example, lawn mowing and landscaping are encompassed by the perpetual care fund. Perpetual care may also entail the upkeep of paths used by visitors to the cemetery.

Depending on the state you’re in, perpetual care may or may not be mandated. And if you pay perpetual care fees, that money may go toward the upkeep of a specific plot (e.g., the one where your loved one is buried or where you one day plan to be buried), or to the more general upkeep of the cemetery.

Perpetual care covers a lot of the expenses associated with cemetery upkeep - but there are still a few responsibilities that fall to families, outside the scope of perpetual care. For example, in most cemeteries, families are required to maintain the cleanliness of the headstone, niche, and/or crypt. And, the family must supply floral decorations. Some cemeteries may assist with the removal of dead flowers.

If you have questions about perpetual care, or about what your duties are beyond that perpetual care fund, you can always ask your funeral director. Indeed, it’s wise to know where your responsibilities lie, and also to be aware of what the cemetery staff will do to help you honor your loved one’s final resting place.

Do I Have to Use a Funeral Home to Be Buried in a Cemetery?

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 21:16:18 GMT

Most individuals choose to coordinate memorial and burial services through a local funeral home.

Memorializing and ultimately burying a deceased relative can be an emotionally intensive process. As you grieve, the last thing you want is to feel overwhelmed by practical and logistical concerns. That’s the primary reason why most individuals choose to coordinate memorial and burial services through a local funeral home: Simply put, your funeral director can handle the practicalities on your behalf, giving you the time and space you need to mourn and to spend time with your family members.

Indeed, your funeral director will handle logistical issues you may not have even thought of, and shouldn’t have to - issues like transporting your loved one, ensuring the gravesite is ready for the burial, coordinating with the cemetery owner, and more. As you think about working with a funeral director, consider all of these pragmatic concerns that can effectively be taken off your plate.

Something else to consider is that funeral homes are required by the FTC to provide you with a list of prices for each separate service - meaning you have the right to choose which funeral services you want and which ones you don’t. As such, you can decide to conduct a vigil or graveside service yourself, but still enlist a funeral home to help with moving the body, ensuring the proper casket, etc.

If you have any questions about the specific ways in which a funeral home can help you, simply reach out to your local funeral director today; let them know your wishes and discover some of the ways they can work with you to meet those wishes.

How Do Cemeteries Work with Funeral Homes?

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 21:14:31 GMT

There is coordination that needs to happen between the funeral home and the cemetery, ensuring your memorial and graveside services are handled smoothly.

When considering the end-of-life arrangements for a loved one, there can be a number of logistics to consider. For example, you will need to arrange for the body to be transported to the funeral home for viewing, and then ultimately to the cemetery for burial. Additionally, there is coordination that needs to happen between the funeral home and the cemetery, ensuring your memorial and graveside services are handled smoothly.

This is one of the main reasons why it’s beneficial to work with a funeral home, which will be able to handle the logistics for you. Indeed, that’s one of the funeral director’s primary roles - to take care of these pragmatic concerns on your behalf, leaving you free to mourn, to spend time with friends and loved ones, and to engage in remembrance and reflection.

The important thing is to let the funeral home know right off the bat where your loved one wishes to be buried and to provide documentation for whatever cemetery plot or space your loved one owned. If no plot was purchased, ask your funeral director to guide you through the process of purchasing a suitable space.

Your funeral director can also talk you through some of the additional logistics that need to be sorted out, such as ensuring there are employees on-site at the cemetery to conduct the burial itself. These are things you may not think of, and frankly don’t have to: Your funeral director will think of them for you.

The sooner you voice your wishes to the funeral director, the more quickly your funeral director can smooth over any potential roadblocks - ensuring that you don’t face any impediment in honoring your loved one according to his or her ultimate wishes.

Can a Loved One Be Moved?

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 21:11:14 GMT

The cemetery is often considered a "final resting place" for the deceased - but in rare occasions, it turns out to be not-so-final after all.

The cemetery is often considered a "final resting place” for the deceased—but in rare occasions, it turns out to be not-so-final after all. Extenuating circumstances may give you the desire to move a loved one’s burial area from one cemetery to another—for example, relocating your loved one to be closer to other family burial plots.

This is very much a viable option, though there are some logistic concerns that you’ll need to work through. A local funeral director can walk you through the process and make the relocation as smooth and straightforward as possible.

First, it’s customary to contact the close, living heirs to the deceased—surviving spouses and children—to ensure they give their blessing. Assuming everyone is on board, the next step is physically digging up the grave site. This is something the funeral home can arrange on your behalf. For caskets that are fewer than 10 years old, this is usually a simple matter. For older caskets, there may be complications with the old liner—but your funeral director can consult with you on this.

When the body is taken to the new cemetery, it’s re-interned, which will parallel the initial burial. That is to say, it’s fairly straightforward, though you will need to pay grave opening and closing costs.

One specific issue to keep in mind is the headstone. In moving a headstone, the cemetery crew will obviously want to go to great lengths to prevent any kind of damage. In rare instances, avoiding damage simply isn’t possible, and you may need to consider a replacement headstone.

Ultimately, moving a loved one from one cemetery to another is something that’s very doable, especially if you have a trusted funeral director to guide you through the process.

Must I Use the Cemetery That's Associated with My Funeral Home?

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 21:09:29 GMT

What many families want to know is, is it required to use the cemetery that's associated with the chosen funeral home?

Here’s a scenario that occasionally comes up in the funeral planning process: There is a particular funeral home that you wish to help you with the service, but you don’t want to be limited in your choice of cemeteries. What many families want to know is, is it required to use the cemetery that’s associated with the chosen funeral home?

Thankfully, this isn’t something you will have to deal with too often; today, the overwhelming majority of funeral homes are independent, meaning they can work with any cemetery in the area, and don’t have a single cemetery that they are associated with. Indeed, this is one of the primary reasons to work with an independent funeral home—they can coordinate services with any cemetery of your choosing.

As for cases where the funeral home you choose does have its own cemetery, that’s usually not something you’ll have to worry about. The role of the funeral home is to help you through the necessary arrangements and to ensure that you get the kind of service that truly honors your departed loved one. It is almost unheard of for any funeral home to require the use of a particular cemetery.

The bottom line for those who have recently experienced a loss: You probably have a specific way in which you hope to honor the life and memory of your loved one, and a good funeral home can provide you with the options you need to do so. Contact a local funeral home director with any additional questions or concerns.

What to Wear and What to Bring When Visiting a Cemetery

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 21:06:28 GMT

When you go to the cemetery to visit the gravesite of a loved one, you're ultimately there to pay your respects. As such, it's worth considering the rules of decorum that dictate cemetery visits.

When you go to the cemetery to visit the gravesite of a loved one, you’re ultimately there to pay your respects. As such, it’s worth considering the rules of decorum that dictate cemetery visits. Specifically, is there anything you should know about how to dress, or what you should or shouldn’t bring?

When it comes to dressing, there’s no need to be excessively formal; you don’t have to put on your "Sunday best” just because you’re at a cemetery. It’s more important to dress practically. Remember that you’ll be outside, potentially for a little while, and as such, you may want to bring a hat to keep the sun off your face. Also, in a more rural cemetery, you may have to walk through some grass or brush to get to the gravesite. As such, wearing long pants is often recommended. Finally, make sure you wear comfortable shoes, as you may need to walk a little bit to reach your destination.

As for what to bring, you may want to bring flowers or photographs and other mementos to leave at your loved one’s gravesite. Bottled water is recommended—both to stay hydrated, and potentially to help you clean off the headstone, as well. Many cemetery visitors bring a pad and paper, in case they want to jot down any reflections, prayers, or memories that spring to mind. And, having your phone or GPS device can sometimes be helpful for locating the exact location of the grave, especially if you’re in a larger cemetery.

With any specific questions about your cemetery visit, don’t hesitate to contact the cemetery owner or manager. You can also reach out to your funeral home director for guidelines or general rules of thumb.

Family Plots: What are my options?

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 20:45:33 GMT

There are multiple options available for families wanting to be buried together.

Spouses often wish to be buried together. Other times, whole families may wish to be buried together, including children or even grandchildren. If this is the case, it is important to take that into consideration when planning a burial.

A Family Plot

A family plot is just that. It is a space large enough for multiple family members to be buried. A family plot must all be purchased at one time to reserve the space.

An Urn Plot

An urn plot is a smaller space for the burial of a cremation urn. Depending on the size of the plot, it is possible for multiple family members to be buried there.

A Mausoleum

A mausoleum is an above ground building designed to hold caskets. With a private mausoleum, you can build it as large as you wish to accommodate as many family members as you want. Another option is a community mausoleum, which can house many caskets. A family could choose to purchase multiple crypts inside a community mausoleum.

A Columbarium

A columbarium is a building with niches to hold cremation urns. Families can purchase several niches together. As with a family plot, these will likely all need to be purchased at the same time.

Home Burial

In some areas it may be possible to be buried on your own land or in private family cemetery. If this is the case, you will want to check with your local government office to find out if there are any restrictions or permits required.

There are multiple options available for families wanting to be buried together. Make sure you talk to your family members before deciding what you want to do, however, as it can be difficult to resell grave plots once they have been purchased.

What's the Best Way to Locate My Loved One's Gravesite?

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 20:43:01 GMT

Imagine this scenario: You become interested in visiting the gravesite of a deceased ancestor or relative, paying homage at the place of their burial. There's just one problem you don't know exactly where they are buried.

Imagine this scenario: You become interested in visiting the gravesite of a deceased ancestor or relative, paying homage at the place of their burial. There’s just one problem—you don’t know exactly where they are buried. Maybe you know the town but not the specific cemetery. Maybe you don’t even know what part of the country their final resting place is in. What can you do to locate their grave so that you can visit and pay respects?

There are multiple tools and resources to choose from, but the most useful is FindAGrave.com . This is a simple, easy-to-search online directory that will allow you to input the name of your deceased loved one. (If you also know the year of their birth or the year of their death, or have some idea as to which city they are buried in, that can certainly help.)

While this database is not absolutely comprehensive, it draws on a range of resources—including military records, data from genealogy websites, and newspaper obituaries—to provide you with some sense of where you can find your loved one’s grave.

It’s a helpful tool, but if you’d like something a little more hands-on, you can also visit with your local funeral director and let them know you’re trying to locate someone. Your funeral director can access their own set of data and their network connections to help you find the information you’re looking for.

Either way, there are usually some good options for locating the final resting place of a loved one—making it possible for you to celebrate their memory however you wish.

What is a Vault?

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 20:39:45 GMT

When a family member is buried, you naturally want to ensure that their final resting place is preserved in its proper condition. One way to do so is to use a vault.

But what is a vault, exactly? Think of it as a kind of protective outer layer for your loved one’s casket. Vaults are lined and sealed, and the casket is placed inside before it’s buried. The vault serves a few important purposes. One, it protects the casket from getting crushed by the weight of the earth, or by heavy landscaping equipment that passes overhead. And two, it safeguards the casket from rain and moisture damage.

Vaults don’t just protect caskets, though. They also protect the cemetery grounds more broadly, preserving the area’s natural beauty. The presence of a vault prevents the ground from shifting and settling, keeping the entire cemetery area flat and well-manicured.

When you look at vaults, you’ll see that they come in many styles and are made in different materials, ranging from copper to bronze to plastic. As you weigh the pros and cons of these different options, your best bet is to speak with your funeral director, who can guide you toward a vault that will give you some additional peace of mind.

Whether you’re pre-planning your own funeral or you’re seeking the ideal arrangements for a deceased loved one, the use of a vault can be wise. What’s more, many of today’s vaults can be personalized, and they come with robust warranties. Make sure you ask about each of these factors as you talk with your funeral home director.

What Are Opening and Closing Services?

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 20:36:52 GMT

When your loved one is buried, it's customary for the cemetery to charge a fee for "opening and closing" services. But what is "opening and closing"?

When your loved one is buried, it’s customary for the cemetery to charge a fee for "opening and closing” services. The specific cost can vary, depending on a few different factors, but it’s certainly something to be aware of.

Opening and closing services are required not just for in-ground burials but also for entombment in a mausoleum crypt or a cremation niche. Essentially, opening and closing services refer to the work that the cemetery staff conducts to physically prepare the area for your loved one’s remains.

For instance, for ground burials, the opening and closing duties encompass opening the grave ground (e.g., digging out the area where the casket is to be placed), preparing the site for the service, back-filling the grave, and ensuring that the landscaping looks appropriate following the service.

For entombment in a niche or crypt, meanwhile, opening and closing services can include opening the niche or crypt and then closing it back up once the casket or cremation urn has been placed.

There can be a lot of work that goes into this, which makes it a boon to have the cemetery handle it on your behalf. If you ever have any questions about what exactly these services entail or want to ensure proper coordination with the cemetery, you can always go straight to your funeral director.

You can also address the price point with your funeral director, who can give you advance notice how much opening and closing will cost and explain all the factors that are taken into account.

Opening and closing are important steps in providing your loved one with a final resting place and can help make the entire funeral process go more smoothly.

What are Some Floral Arrangements for Grave Sites?

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 20:34:42 GMT

One of the most common ways to show your respects at a loved one's gravesite is to leave a floral arrangement. It might surprise you to learn that there's more than one way to do this, and that graveside floral arrangements are not at all one-size-fits-all.

One of the most common ways to show your respects at a loved one's gravesite is to leave a floral arrangement.It might surprise you to learn that there is more than one way to do this, and that graveside floral arrangements are not at all one-size-fits-all.

The standard option is a simple bouquet, which you can leave adjacent to the grave marker. For special occasions, you can also find floral signs; for example, you can get a floral arrangement that spells out "Mom" or "We Love You Mom" to leave for Mother's Day.

Speaking of holidays, a number of seasonal and festive arrangements are available, including red, white, and blue arrangements for patriotic holidays. These are especially popular options for commemorating the final resting places of veterans.

Another important distinction is between fresh and silk flowers. Some cemeteries will allow either kind, but others will ask you to only use silk flowers. Indeed, it's always important to check the cemetery's rules about the kinds of displays they permit at gravesites.

No matter which kind of flower you use, it's crucial to find a way to keep them from blowing away; an anchored vase is prudent, and you can place fillers, such as Styrofoam, within the vase to keep the flowers in place.

Of course, your loved one may not reside in a traditional cemetery plot, but that doesn't mean you can't honor their legacy with flowers.

Why Is Having a Place to Visit a Loved One So Important?

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 20:32:21 GMT

It's always important to give your loved one a final resting place.

Following the death of a loved one, it's not uncommon to keep the cremated urns of that loved one in your home for a few days, allowing you a time of personal remembrance.

Sooner or later, though, it's always important to give your loved one a final resting place - whether that's a grave site, a niche in a columbarium, or a space in an urn garden.

Essentially, you want to have a location where you and other loved ones can go to visit your loved one - and there are a few reasons for this. One is simply that it makes it easier for everyone in the family to pay their respects. A relative may wish to go to the grave site to honor the deceased, something that's a lot harder to do if you simply keep the remains in your private residence.

It's also important to remember future generations. When your loved one has a permanent resting place, it allows descendants the opportunity to remember and to acknowledge the legacy of which they are a part of. What's more, burial records are important to future generations that might wish to research their family roots.

But more than anything, you and your loved ones will want a physical place you can go to be in the presence of your deceased family member. Those who scatter ashes but never give their loved one a permanent home often regret that they don't have such a place to gather, commemorate, and mourn.

There are a number of options to choose from, whether you want to lay your loved one to rest in a traditional cemetery plot or seek an alternative. Speak to our cemetery staff to learn more.

Can a Cemetery Run Out of Space?

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 20:28:26 GMT

What happens when a cemetery runs out of space? Read this post to learn more about this pragmatic concern.

The basic purpose of a cemetery is pretty straightforward. Simply put, a cemetery exists to provide space where the dead can be buried, and where family members can gather in mourning, tribute, and remembrance.

It stands to reason, though, that eventually, a cemetery might run out of space—and what happens then?

First, a cemetery that’s run out of space will stop selling grave plots. You don’t have to worry about buying a burial plot and later being told there’s no room. If a cemetery sells you a space, it’s because they have that space accounted for.

As a cemetery reaches the point where remaining space is limited, there are a few things that can be done to provide just a few further options. For one thing, mausoleums can be built, where the cemetery can sell niches for cremated remains. This allows the cemetery to maximize their use of the space left to them. Similarly, the cemetery can designate some of its remaining land as an urn garden.

Beyond that, the cemetery may have to stop selling new space and simply focus on maintaining the burial sites it currently has. In some cases, the cemetery may actually abandon the area and leave it to the individual families of the deceased to maintain, but this is pretty uncommon.

The bottom line: Cemeteries can run out of space, but there are safeguards in place to ensure families are taken care of in all contingencies.

To learn more about any of this, you’re always welcome to reach out to your local funeral home director.

A Non-denominational Funeral Service

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 20:26:16 GMT

When a person who has passed away didn't follow one particular religion or faith, a non-denominational funeral can prove to be the most appropriate way to honor that person's life.

When a person who has passed away didn't follow one particular religion or faith, a non-denominational funeral can prove to be the most appropriate way to honor that person’s life. Instead of focusing on religious texts during the ceremony, the family can choose to take a more humanistic approach. This makes for a poignant funeral, even without a religious element.

Even if the person who passed did loosely follow a religion, it is becoming increasingly common for families to use a non-denominational service in order to honor their loved one and commemorate their life. If you’re hoping to have a non-denominational service for someone you care about, keep these tips in mind:

Choose your location carefully

It is certainly possible to have a non-denominational service in a house of worship, however many people feel more comfortable hosting the ceremony in a funeral home. If you don’t feel comfortable having a member of the clergy presiding over the service, you may ask the funeral director to perform the service. Many people also find it special to have close friends or family members deliver eulogies during the ceremony.

In a non-denominational service, the focus is less on traditional prayers and shifts more to the words and sentiments of people who loved the deceased. This human, emotional touch is something that many people find appealing. It is also possible to incorporate a few traditional prayers and hymns, while still keeping the focus on the concrete ways in which that person touched lives.

If you don’t feel comfortable asking those in attendance to participate in a prayer during the service, a moment of silence will be sufficient. This allows everyone to reflect on what the deceased meant to them, without forcing a religious element into a non-denominational service.

If you find words from religious texts comforting but still would prefer to have a non-denominational service, you can incorporate religious texts from a variety of different faiths. There is no rule that says that if you include verses from the Bible, then the service must have a decidedly Christian feel to it. You can read a verse from the Bible, then incorporate a part of a Buddhist text, and finish with a traditional Jewish prayer. Pick and choose the elements that you find most relevant, and create a service that feels comforting and warm to you.

When it comes to religious references during a non-denominational service, there is no need to feel as if you have to reference God, Jesus, or any other element of traditional religion in order to honor the person who has passed. You can simply make reference to finding peace in the afterlife and being commemorated in the hearts of loved ones.

If your loved one was not particularly religious, it is still possible to have a beautiful and meaningful ceremony, without a heavy religious presence. Using eulogies from loved ones and inspirational readings, it is easy to honor your loved one’s life during a non-denominational ceremony.

Dealing with Grief During Summer Holidays and Vacations

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 20:23:04 GMT

When you are grieving the loss of a loved one, the first summer without them can bring about many challenges.

Summer is a favorite season for many people. Unfortunately, when you are grieving the loss of a loved one, the first summer without them can bring about many challenges. Holidays, parties, and trips may no longer be as fun without your loved one. These events can trigger memories that can in turn magnify your grief.

Holidays

There are several major holidays that occur in the summer. If these were important holidays for you and your loved one you may find them difficult to cope with. The extra time off may leave you feeling more alone. It may be helpful to plan ahead for these holiday breaks. You might wish to be in the company of others. If this is the case, try to make plans to see friends and family. However, if you can’t be with friends or family, try to plan an activity to keep busy. You can also make plans to talk or video chat with friends and family if you can’t see them in person.

On the other hand, there may be some group gatherings happening and you may decide you don’t want to attend. This is okay too. If you find you are able to spend a holiday with friends and family, it’s ok to leave early if you get tired or overwhelmed.

Vacations

Summer is a big travel season for most people. If you and your loved one used to travel together, it can be difficult to get used to traveling alone or with someone other than your loved one.

If you are still able to keep your travel plans, make sure to plan activities to keep yourself busy. If you end up traveling alone, you may want to make plans to check in regularly with other friends and family while you are on your trip.

However, if you don't feel up to traveling, you may want to plan a staycation at home. Try doing something that you wouldn’t normally do. Visit some new spots near your home for a walk, try a new class, or even try some new sports such as kayaking or pickleball.

Remember to continue to reach out to friends and family and take care of yourself. Though this season of grief is challenging, keep in mind that you will eventually start to heal.

Carrying on a Loved One's Legacy Through Memory Boxes

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 20:19:27 GMT

Families want to preserve and pass along these memories to future generations. A wonderful way to do this and help grandchildren or others to feel more connected is to create personalized memory boxes.

When a loved one passes away, it often triggers a lot of conversation about who the person was, what they had done throughout their life, and how they will be remembered. Families want to preserve and pass along these memories to future generations. A wonderful way to do this and help grandchildren or others to feel more connected is to create personalized memory boxes.

Fill decorative boxes with meaningful items from the person's life. Perhaps they were known for their collection of ties, scarves, watches, or belts. Tuck one into each box that means something to the recipient - whether it was their favorite, it correlates with a memory they share, or is just one you think they'd appreciate. Everyone's box doesn’t have to be the same - choose things you want them to remember their loved one by.

For instance, you may choose to return a gift they gave their grandparent when they were younger so it is something they can look back on fondly. You may also want to include items that you can share the story behind and give them more insight into their loved one and why it represents them and their life.

If they had a business, you could write a personalized note on their stationary so grandkids can always remember a bit about their career. You could also include a business card or any small remembrance from their office ... something to keep them connected.

These personalized boxes can help to keep their memory alive and make you feel good about passing along some keepsakes to younger generations so they can get to know their grandparent or ancestor in a different way. Let them know these items are theirs to keep, and you're happy to discuss them if they want to know more.

The Meaning of Burial Shrouds

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 20:14:21 GMT

The practice of using burial shrouds, or "burial sheets," is one that is rich in history across many cultures; however, for many, this can be a new concept, especially when planning for a funeral.

The practice of using burial shrouds, or "burial sheets" is one that is rich in history across many cultures; however, for many, this can be a new concept, especially when planning for a funeral. Today, burial shrouds refer to any form of cloth that covers the deceased before cremation or burial. Typically, these sheets are made out of cotton or linen and are widely available from many specialty providers in various styles that fit the nature of the service itself.

The History of the Shroud

While many Christians are familiar with the Shroud of Turin - the mysterious cloth wrapped around Jesus Christ after his death - the practice of burial sheets is one that has been used all across the world. Shrouds are commonly used in a variety of manners and styles. Initially, Christians used burial shrouds as a way to save on materials and still present the deceased in a respectful manner. However, this practice also dates back to other funerary practices in Ancient Egyptian and Native American cultures.

Today, this tradition continues on in many religious and cultural circles. For instance, Jewish burials often utilize shrouds, known in Hebrew as "Tahirim" that are white and made by hand, directly correlating to the religious, historical significance this cloth has carried. Many Christians also continue this practice, often signifying the fabric with a cross or the Trisagion hymn.

Muslim and Hindu cultures also utilize shrouds, but in a much different manner. In these cultures, shrouds become a part of preparing the deceased for their journey into the afterlife. These cultures take meticulous measures when making shrouds, such as by washing them a certain number of times with scented water.

Using Shrouds Today

While many still use shrouds as part of the cultural custom, others are beginning to use them as part of "green burial" practices, to encourage less material usage. Whatever the purpose, families have many options when using shrouds themselves, and funeral homes can often help direct individuals to professionals that specialize in producing these cloths.

Understanding Funeral Rites

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 20:12:02 GMT

Though many faiths from around the world rely on the same principles in order to send their dead into a peaceful afterlife, the rites and traditions vary from religion to religion.

Why do funeral rites matter?

Funeral rites are important because they show respect for the dead. They also give that person's loved ones a chance to mourn and express their grief. Many people feel that expressing their grief in a formal way is an important part of the healing process. In some religions, these rites are also believed to be necessary in order to ensure that the person makes it to the afterlife successfully.

Christian funeral rites

In some forms of Christianity, a priest or minister will come to the person's bedside as they are dying in order to help them prepare for death. In the Roman Catholic faith, a priest will also anoint that person with holy oil in order to get them ready to pass on. This is known as Last Rites.

In Christianity, a person who has died is placed in a coffin. In some instances, this coffin will be left open, giving friends and relatives a chance to say their goodbyes. This coffin is then taken to the church where the funeral will take place. During this time, the clergy will offer comforting words, as well as thoughts about what that person meant to those who loved them. In Roman Catholicism, there will be a special Eucharist called a Requiem Mass, where people say prayers for the deceased's soul.

Buddhist rites

It is traditional for a Buddhist to be cremated after they die. Prior to the cremation process, a white cloth is often offered to the relatives of the dead. The deceased person will be outfitted in simple clothing, and the service itself should be peaceful and simple too. In many instances a monk will perform the Buddhist rites, though family members may also preside over the services themselves.

Muslim rites

In Islam, people believe that a person's life does not end after death. Therefore, those who honor the dead spend a significant amount of time praying for a happy eternal life for that individual. Muslims bury the deceased as soon as possible, thereby avoiding having to use methods of preservation. Cremation is forbidden. When someone dies in the Islamic faith, family members and community members wash the body and cover it in a clean, white cloth. The deceased is then taken to the funeral location, which is typically outdoors.

Jewish rites

During a traditional Jewish burial, the body is washed and purified, and then placed in burial clothes. Burial must occur as soon as possible after death, and cremation is typically not an option. The person who has passed is wrapped in a sheet and a prayer shawl. Once prayers are said, the mourners in attendance step forward and add a shovel full of soil into the grave.

What Purpose Does a Funeral or Memorial Service Serve?

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 20:08:44 GMT

The funeral or memorial service has long been a ritualistic rite of passage in our culture.

The funeral or memorial service has long been a ritualistic rite of passage in our culture. When a loved one passes away, we immediately start making funeral plans, often without even thinking. Holding a memorial is simply what people do. The problem with this familiarity is that it may sometimes prevent us from stopping to think about what the memorial service is for.

Like any ritual and custom, the funeral service is important to maintaining a healthy culture. Funerals, like weddings and holidays, serve as landmarks on our journey, both as people and as individuals. It allows us, as people, to mark and commemorate the ending of a life, and provides hope for survivors as they look to the future.

One of the foremost ways in which a funeral service benefits us is that it helps mourners recognize that their loss is real. A body may be displayed, a coffin or urn shown, or words read to solidify for everyone in attendance what has happened. Death, loss, feelings of sorrow and grief.

The funeral is an act of acknowledgment as well as an act of redemption. Through a funeral, we can work to transcend the bleakness of our loss and make it into something positive or find closure. The funeral itself reminds us of the real, physical need to support one another and to band together during times of sadness. As we celebrate the life of our lost loved one, we are inundated with happy memories of life lived together.

Ultimately, the memorial service is for the living, not for the departed. It gives us permission to feel deeply about our loss, to give our loss a name, while also bidding us to look around at the good things this world offers us. Though impermanent, a life lived in love and community can still be beautiful.

Ideas for More Memorable Memorial Expressions

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 20:05:14 GMT

Many burial rites are relatively short and very minimalistic. But there are many ways that you and your loved ones can create a more memorable way to celebrate the life of the deceased.

Many burial rites are relatively short and very minimalistic. But there are many ways that you and your loved ones can create a more memorable way to celebrate the life of the deceased. Adding additional elements to the service is also a powerful way to create an honorable and special service that is devoted entirely to the memory of the deceased.

Read a poem.

Poetry is a timeless way to express emotion. Some of history's greatest writers have created poems that articulate the feelings you might have at the loss of someone dear to you. They can celebrate the incredible life of your loved one. They can express the sadness you feel at saying goodbye. They can illustrate your hope for reuniting with them in the future. Reading a poem that captures your feelings at the loss of someone you love is a special way to pay a tribute to their life and to testify to your family and friends how you truly feel.

Release butterflies or doves.

Butterflies can symbolize the spirit, representing the beauty and freedom as they take flight. When onlookers experience the connection between nature and butterflies, they tend to instinctively feel that both harmony and peace are surrounding them. Releasing butterflies is a wonderful way to express the hope and peace you feel about your loved one moving on.
Releasing doves, much like butterflies, is a powerful gravesite expression. Letting go of such beautiful beings, and letting them fly free, is a symbol of you beginning the grieving process and "letting go" of the deceased.

Horse drawn carriages.

Choosing to have a horse drawn carriage carry your loved one's casket to its burial site is an elegant and memorable expression. The bold, strong horse guides the deceased to their resting place and adds a feeling of dignity and grace to a difficult experience for you or your family and friends.

Because so many burial services are so conservative, you may want to add something special to make the experience much more memorable. These additions can also make the service more relevant to your loved one's personality. In doing so, you can better celebrate their life and pay tribute to their special nature. You can create a funeral service that will always be remembered as honorable, special, and truly wonderful.

The Role of Pallbearers at a Funeral

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 20:02:33 GMT

Having pallbearers at a funeral is a common tradition among many religions; however, many may not be familiar with this practice - especially if one has never attended a service before.

Pallbearers are individuals who are respected by the deceased and may have had a close relationship to him or her. These individuals are chosen - either in preplanning by the departed or their loved ones - to carry the casket or coffin to the burial site. For many, this ritual carries great significance and offers closure to the surviving family members.

Who Can Be a Pallbearer?
Although the numbers can vary, typically six to eight individuals are asked to be pallbearers. Pallbearers are generally adults that may have had any type of relationship with the deceased. These selected individuals can range from family members to neighbors and from close friends to business partners. While many may associate men as pallbearers, women can also be asked to fulfill this role.

Active vs. Honorary Pallbearers
Active pallbearers are those individuals who physically carry the casket; however, this honor can be reserved for honorary pallbearers as well. If pallbearers are unable to physically carry the deceased, they may still represent this position; funeral home or church members can help assist with the duty.

Pallbearer Etiquette
It is often a great honor to be asked to serve as a pallbearer in a burial, and in most cases, individuals should accept this role if asked. When unable to attend the service - whether ill or unable to travel - it may be possible to be an honorary pallbearer. In terms of how to dress, pallbearers will wear typical funeral attire - such as a dark suit and tie.

Most pallbearers will be given a gift to commemorate the deceased - such as a photo. Although fulfilling this role upon request, pallbearers should remember to send a thank you note to the family for being asked to take part in this special moment.

What are My Choices for a Memorial Service?

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 20:00:02 GMT

Whether you're thinking about your own passing and the subsequent funeral service or working to put together a funeral for a loved one, you may feel like there are many big decisions to make.

Of course, it's true that there are many choices. And while that may seem a little daunting and disorienting, it is ultimately a comfort. Today's funeral and memorial services are highly customized based on an individual's preferences, beliefs, and needs. Whatever kind of service you wish to have, it can all be arranged through the help of a skilled funeral director.

The venue, for example, can be highly variable. Though funeral homes still host the majority of memorials, there are also many people who choose to have funeral and memorial services in homes, churches or other places of worship, or even outdoors.

Music and multimedia are variables. Speaking with your funeral director, you can make arrangements for a local pianist, singing group, string quartet, or even a live band to provide an accompaniment that's either reflective or lively to the service; or, you can arrange for a full multimedia remembrance video, pictures, slideshows, and beyond.

Many of today's funeral services are essentially all-day affairs, gatherings where family and friends arrive not just to mourn but then to linger and to spend time in fellowship together long after the service itself is over. Your funeral director can help arrange any catering and music for the memorial service.

Different families express grief uniquely, and every person has varying wishes for their own remembrances. Thankfully, there are funeral arrangements to suit just about anyone and it is entirely possible to record any future wishes through a pre-arrangement conference.

What Happens to Someone's Facebook Profile when they Die?

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 19:57:42 GMT

Millions of people are active on Facebook every single day. However, have you ever wondered what happens to your profile when you pass away? Does it remain frozen in time? Does it eventually disappear? As it turns out, that is up to you and your family. There are two options when it comes to handling your Facebook profile after death:

1. You can choose to have it memorialized.
You can opt-in your setting to have your profile memorialized. Doing this means that it will be locked so that no one can log in as you, but your Facebook friends can still make posts and share memories. All of your previous posts and pictures will remain intact, and this can be an excellent way of letting others reminisce and helping to keep your memory alive.

You can also choose a legacy contact, which is a person from your friend list that you designate to manage your account. They cannot log in as you or read your messages, but they can make posts, change your profile and cover photos, and respond to friend requests.

2. You can choose to have it deleted.

You may decide that once you pass away, you want your Facebook account removed entirely. In this case, your entire profile and everything you have posted will permanently be deleted. Your family can also request to have the page removed after you die but must submit a special request with Facebook that must be approved. More information on how to delete your Facebook account can be found here .

You can also request to download and archive all of the information from your account, but that also must be approved by Facebook.

It can be a good idea to talk to your family ahead of time and let them know how you want your social media accounts handled and to choose the settings that align with your preferences.

What is the Proper Etiquette for a Memorial Service?

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 19:55:11 GMT

Individuals planning or attending a memorial service are encouraged to learn about proper memorial service etiquette, as many people have varying opinions on what the service should look like.

A memorial service is a service held without the remains present, usually occurring within a week of a loved one's death (although this has the tendency to vary based on individual circumstances). The memorial service itself is more informal than a funeral, and guests can exchange stories and other personal tributes to celebrate the life of the deceased. Individuals planning or attending a memorial service are encouraged to learn about proper memorial service etiquette, as many people have varying opinions on what the service should look like.

For example, you may want to consider how to make it appropriate for all in attendance who have many thoughts and religious beliefs. If you are holding a memorial service in a house of worship, you will most likely need to consult with the pastoral staff for guidance. If you choose not to hold the service in a house of worship, you have a variety of other options in which you can structure the service.

Behavior at a memorial service
Attendees are advised to arrive to the venue early - at least 15 minutes before the memorial service starts. Once you arrive to the funeral home or house of worship, death and grief experts recommend finding a seat right away or briefly offering your condolences to the family should they be available. It is important not to overwhelm the family, especially if they are accommodating a number of guests.

Memorial service attendees are encouraged to socialize with others after the ceremony as much as possible, and to speak to the family after the service as well. It is also advisable not to bring small children to a funeral service who may not comprehend what is happening. All attendees should have an understanding of death and should not be surprised by the funeral process, as that could result in inappropriate disruption.

How to show respect
The abiding rule at memorial services is to be respectful at all times. Avoid eating and drinking inside the church or funeral home (unless food and refreshments are offered) or answering phone calls during the service. Whether you are attending a memorial service or traditional burial service, consider sending flowers (or a plant) with a sentiment card at least one day prior the event. Usually, the funeral home website will point you to a reputable florist that works directly with the funeral home or an online store to connect you with one.

An important role of flowers at the funeral service is providing comfort and warmth. Flowers also play a functional role after the funeral. Flowering and foliage plants appear to be more than a keepsake from the funeral; they are a living memorial to the deceased.

Items of Remembrance to Share After a Loss

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 19:52:35 GMT

Honoring the deceased can come in many forms. During a wake or other commemorative service, guests may be presented with items of remembrance to honor the deceased.

Honoring the deceased can come in many forms. During a wake or other commemorative service, guests may be presented with items of remembrance to honor the deceased. These items may take many different shapes or forms, but what they all have in common is that they are reminders of the loved one who has passed.

Books of Remembrance

This is a book that is set in a common area, typically during a wake or vigil service. Guests who have come to pay their respects to the deceased and the grieving family may sign in and write messages, memories, or poems to commemorate the deceased.

Memorial Cards

Memorial cards are a small but lasting tribute to the person who has passed. They are credit card sized items that typically have a meaningful photo and words printed on them. These cards serve as a tangible memory of the loved one. They are a convenient source of familiarity and comfort for family or friends who are mourning their loss. They are typically laminated and are included in thank you notes that the grieving family might send to those who could not attend the funeral, calling hours, wake, or vigil.

Prayer Cards

As part of Catholic tradition, prayer cards, or holy cards, are small cards with devotional pictures. They generally illustrate a religious scene or saint. There is a prayer printed on the back of the card. This is done so that the cardholder can recite the prayer and better cope with the loss of their loved one. Giving out these cards to guests is a common practice and part of the culture of Roman Catholicism.

Personalized Tokens

Many other items of a more personal nature can be considered, like give aways or little knick-knacks. These may reference a hobby or skill that your loved one expressed great interest in.

When preparing to celebrate and remember the life of a loved one, consider these tokens that you may present to those who have come to the funeral or wake services. In doing so, you can offer support and comfort to all who are grieving and give guests a tangible way to remember and honor the person who has passed.

Can a Loved One Be Cremated After Burial?

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 19:37:11 GMT

What happens when you bury a deceased loved one and decide later that you'd rather have his or her body cremated? These situations are uncommon but not impossible.

What happens when you bury a deceased loved one and decide later that you’d rather have his or her body cremated? These situations are uncommon but not impossible. The first step is always consulting with your local funeral director to talk through some of the logistics.

First, there are legal concerns to take into account. The law changes from one state to the next, but generally, it’s required to have the approval of the deceased’s next of kin. You will also need to have permission from the person who owns the cemetery.

Once the right permissions are granted, the next step is disinterring the body—that is, physically digging up the grave plot and removing the casket and body. This is something that happens more often than you might think, usually for the purpose of moving a body from one cemetery to another.

Before actually cremating the body, a cremation permit must be obtained. Again, this will require signatures from the next of kin—surviving spouses or children. Additionally, you’ll need to file for an amendment to the death certificate. These are the kinds of logistic matters your funeral director can attend to on your behalf.

All in all, getting the necessary approvals may take a few weeks, but the actual cremation process will be straightforward. Again, your funeral director can keep you briefed on exactly what to expect.

This is not the kind of circumstance that arises often, but if it’s something you’ve considered, don’t hesitate to take it directly to a local funeral professional, who can help you get the process started.

Turn Cremated Remains into Dazzling Diamonds

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 19:34:27 GMT

One of the advantages of cremation is that it allows for many different forms of memorialization.

One of the advantages of cremation is that it allows for many different forms of memorialization. For instance, when a loved one is cremated, the surviving family members may only want the remains to be placed in an urn and then honored with a place in an urn garden or columbarium. In other cases, though, they may prefer to have some of those remains turned into heirlooms or keepsakes—and one especially exciting option is the cremation diamond.

Cremation diamonds are precisely what the name suggests—beautiful, precision-cut gems that are made from cremated ashes. These diamonds can be displayed as-is or set into any kind of jewelry—rings, necklaces, bracelets, and beyond.

Crucially, these are real diamonds—not just knickknacks that are made to look "fancy.” A good cremation diamond company will guarantee a final product that is authenticated, graded, and identified by skilled jewelers or gemologists. That means that cremation diamonds have real value, and not just sentimental.

With that said, the apparent appeal of cremation diamonds is that it allows you to take a loved one’s legacy and turn it into something beautiful and precious—something that is sure to become a cherished family heirloom.

One final note about cremation diamonds is that they can be made with just a small quantity of ashes—meaning that multiple diamonds can be made, or ashes can be left over for other keepsakes or for memorialization in an urn.

There are plenty of options for unique and beautiful cremation diamonds—so if you’ve sought an elegant way to keep your loved one’s memory close at hand, it may be worth looking into. As always, you can ask your funeral director for specific recommendations.

Ideas for Creating a Display at a Loved One's Grave Site

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 19:31:09 GMT

One of the most popular ways to honor a deceased loved one is to decorate their grave site. If you have questions about what is allowed at the cemetery, don’t hesitate to ask your cemetery professional.

One of the most popular ways to honor a deceased loved one is to decorate their grave site. While every cemetery is different, several ways to decorate a grave site are acceptable in most cemeteries.

Flowers are always a great way to show your respect at a loved one’s final resting place. Most cemeteries allow flowers, though some may require they be in a vase, and others may only allow artificial flowers. Wreaths are also a typical decoration and are allowed in most cases.

It’s not uncommon to decorate grave sites with small American flags—mainly if your loved one was a veteran. Those whose loved ones were born in other countries may wish to decorate their grave site with the colors of their homeland.

Other small items, such as notes or photos, may be allowed as long as they are secured. Crosses or other religious symbols are also often allowed, provided they are not too large and do not interfere with lawn maintenance.

Here are some guidelines you should remember when decorating your loved one’s grave.

Most cemeteries prohibit potentially dangerous items such as glass, shepherd hooks, rocks, or gravel.
While you may decorate with flowers, you typically are not allowed to plant anything permanent.
Keep your decorations on your loved one’s grave only. Do not encroach on someone else’s space or hang items on trees or bushes without permission.
Most cemeteries do not allow items to be stuck in the ground or curbed around graves. They will remove anything that gets in the way of mowing and lawn maintenance.
Items such as solar lights, stuffed animals, candles, or large flags or banners are typically not allowed.

If you have questions about what is allowed at the cemetery, don’t hesitate to ask your cemetery professional. They will be happy to help you develop some safe, creative ideas to decorate your loved one’s grave.

The Importance of Memorializing and Taking Quick Action with Cremated Remains

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 19:26:51 GMT

For most, it's essential to have a quiet, intimate season of family reflection - an opportunity for the closest relatives and loved ones to join together in remembrance.

Families mourn the passing of a loved one in many different ways. For most, it’s essential to have a quiet, intimate season of family reflection - an opportunity for the closest relatives and loved ones to join together in remembrance. Cremation is well-suited for this because it allows the family to take their loved one’s cremated remains, housed in a decorative urn, and display it in their home for a short season.

This makes it easy for family members to honor their deceased loved one in the days immediately following the memorial service - but after this short season, it’s important to memorialize those cremated remains in an urn garden or a columbarium.

There are a couple of reasons for this, and the first one is practical. Simply put, if you keep an urn full of cremated remains in your home, sooner or later something could happen to it; the urn could be accidentally knocked or tipped over, and the results may be upsetting.

Additionally, it’s good to have a more public home for your loved one’s cremated remains - a "final resting place” where friends, family members, and other well-wishers can go to mourn, to lay flowers, or to pay their respects whenever it suits them. This is not always possible when the cremated remains are kept in one’s private residence.

Your funeral director can assist you with the timing here, recommending a reasonable amount of time to keep the urn in your home before you ultimately transition it to somewhere more permanent. Moreover, of course, your funeral director can also walk you through some of the best options for long-term memorialization - whether that’s burying the urn in a cemetery, placing it in a niche, or a different kind of arrangement.

What is a Mausoleum?

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 19:22:31 GMT

There are a number of alternatives to traditional burial in the ground. One common option is to be placed in a mausoleum.

There are a number of alternatives to traditional burial in the ground. One common option is to be placed in a mausoleum. A mausoleum is a building specially designed to house the dead; it may be constructed specifically for a single person, or it may be intended to house the remains of multiple people.

This isn't a new concept, and in fact, mausoleums have been in use around the world for thousands of years. Today, many cemeteries offer access to mausoleums, and you might also consider having a mausoleum built as a place for your immediate family to all eventually be entombed together.

Bodies in a mausoleum are entombed in a defined space known as the crypt. There are a few benefits to this, and the most obvious is simply that entombment in a crypt is cleaner and dryer than burial in the ground. Because mausoleums are buildings, they provide an enclosed space for visitors to come and pay their respects year-round. And, mausoleums typically use less land space than traditional burial plots do, making them a surprisingly eco-friendly option.

Finally, mausoleums offer a defined space that can be reserved for a couple or for an entire family—making it one of the best ways to ensure that you and your loved ones ultimately share the same final resting place and that it's easy for future generations to come pay their respects.

If entombment in a mausoleum is something you'd like to consider, the best way to proceed is simply to reach out to your local funeral director to learn more about the options available to you.

Do People Still Desire Monumental Statues to Mark Grave Sites?

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 19:19:28 GMT

In today's world, do people still desire monumental statues to mark grave sites?

Burial trends and customs are ever changing, and what was popular 10, 25, or 100 years ago isn’t necessarily commonplace today. One example is the use of monumental statues to mark grave sites. This used to be much more common than it is now; in today’s world, there is more and more focus on being buried with a small footprint, whether that’s through interment in an urn garden or the marking of burial sites with compact, modest headstones.

For those who do desire a monument for themselves or their loved ones, however, there are still plenty of options. Monumental grave markers are made in granite, marble, or other materials, and in most cases you’ll find them in special burial sites called monumental cemeteries.

If this is something you’re interested in, the first step is to call your local funeral director and see what local options exist. Public and some private cemeteries may not allow for monuments, simply due to space limitations, but your funeral director can help you find a place that will accommodate.

Something else to note is that, for those who wish to honor their loved one but don’t necessarily want a statue, there are many choices for elegant and ornate headstones and grave markers - all of which can be customized to align with your loved one’s final wishes.

Though large statues are not as common as they used to be, they are still a perfectly respectable option - one of several good ways to show honor to a deceased loved one. To learn more, contact your local funeral director today.

National Wreaths Across America Day

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 18:24:34 GMT

You've probably heard about National Wreaths Across America Day, a day of honor and remembrance for veterans during the holiday season. But here are some things you may not know about the event.

You’ve probably heard about National Wreaths Across America Day, a day of honor and remembrance for veterans during the holiday season. But here are some things you may not know about the event.

Wreaths Across America was started in 1992 by Morrill Worcester, the owner of Worcester Wreath Company. That year the Worcester Wreath Company found themselves with a surplus of wreaths following the holiday season. Mr. Worcester was unsure of what to do with these wreaths, but he did not want them to go to waste. He decided to donate the wreaths to Arlington National Cemetery to be placed in the older sections of the cemetery that had been receiving fewer visitors.

Other organizations stepped in to help with the effort and the wreaths were transported all the way to Virginia, decorated with red, hand-tied bows and laid on the veteran’s graves.

It wasn’t until 7 years later that the annual tribute gained national attention. Until that point it had been a quiet affair. But in 2005 a photo of the headstones, each with its own wreath, circulated on the internet. Thousands of people started calling, wanting to know how they could help or wishing to do the same thing at other National and State cemeteries.

In 2007, Wreaths Across America was formed to continue the service.

Today, the movement has grown considerably with more and more cemeteries taking place every year. If you are interested you can lay your own wreath on your family veterans graves. Or you can look up events in your area.

While Wreaths Across America Day was started to honor veterans, laying a wreath or holiday decoration at the cemetery for any loved one can be a way to cope with your loss during the holiday season.

If you would like to get involved with Wreaths Across America, visit www.wreathsacrossamerica.org .

Honoring Veterans on Veterans Day

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 18:20:57 GMT

It is a beautiful thing - the ability to truly honor a veteran who has served their country upon the event of their passing.

It is a beautiful thing - the ability to truly honor a veteran who has served their country upon the event of their passing. The rendering of military funeral honors for a deceased veteran is a service that is mandated by law and provided free of charge to the eligible veteran's family. Military funeral honors can be requested by a family through their funeral director. From there, the funeral director will contact the appropriate military branch to arrange the funeral honors detail.

Of course, a family of a deceased veteran must first ensure that their loved one is eligible. In order to receive military honors, the deceased must be a member of one of the following: A military member on active duty or in the Selected Reserve; former military members who served on active duty and departed under conditions other than dishonorable; former military members who completed at least one term of enlistment or period of initial obligated service in the Selected Reserve and departed under conditions other than dishonorable; and former military members discharged from the Selected Reserve due to a disability incurred or aggravated in the line of duty.

In order to verify eligibility for military honors, a family is required to fill out DD Form 214, Certificate of Release or Discharge from Active Duty. This form is available online through the National Archives. However, if the form is not available, any discharge document showing anything other than dishonorable service can be used to begin the process.

If you are interested in learning more about military honors for your loved one, please contact one of our trusted funeral directors.

Proudly serving those who have served.

Honoring Veterans This Memorial Day

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 18:18:03 GMT

Memorial Day is fast approaching and while for many that means a long weekend away from work and barbecues with family and friends for many more it's an important day to remember those who gave their all protecting the freedom us citizens enjoy so much.

So before we go through another mattress day sales catalog or hunt for another low cost auto deal, here are a few tips for honoring those brave men and women this Memorial Day.

Many church groups, Veteran's Affairs local groups and other community and religious organizations take Memorial Day as a day to place flags on the graves of veterans both known and unknown. These groups will often accept volunteers to help them with their task of placing each flag one by one is a fantastic way to honor the legacy of fallen military personnel.

Consider donating your time to a funeral home or genealogy society that helps to clean and restore the headstones, grave markers and gravestones of fallen soldiers. Many headstones, grave markers and other monuments face disrepair and damage at the hands of weather, time and sometimes unfortunately vandals. Donating your time to clean up some these grave markers is a wonderful way to show how much you appreciate the sacrifice these brave men and women have made.

There are also genealogy societies and veteran's affair societies that try to place names to the graves of unknown soldiers using records, military reports and draft information. Putting names and faces to these unmarked graves can help families and communities better honor the fallen and donating a little bit of your time to help go over records can really make an impact.

This Memorial Day, while you enjoy a day with friends and family, consider giving some of your time to help honor the memory of those who gave their all and keep this day sacred.

Bereaved Spouses Awareness Month

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 18:15:49 GMT

April is Bereaved Spouses Month and in the spirit of the month, here are a few tips for supporting those who have lost a life partner or for those who have recently lost a spouse or life partner.

Losing a loved one is never easy but losing a spouse or life partner can be especially painful. April is Bereaved Spouses Month and in the spirit of the month, here are a few tips for supporting those who have lost a life partner or for those who have recently lost a spouse or life partner.

Do your best to be supportive to a friend or relative who recently lost a spouse: losing someone is always difficult but losing a life partner can be alienating and emotionally crippling at any age. Offer to bring over a meal or to simply offer your time and company. Respect that sometimes after a recent loss, some do not want company. Remember that spending time with someone doesn't always mean spending physical time together: sometimes a phone call or short text message is enough.

Consider taking a useful class together. Many times, after a spouse dies, there are gaps left in their loved one's life. Things like learning to cook for one or learning to cook at all, balancing checkbooks or simple housework can sometimes be bewildering to the recently bereaved. Taking a class on these topics can provide much needed social opportunities for the recently bereaved while also providing much needed life skills.

Encourage a hobby can be done with friends or alone. These hobbies can be anything from painting to gardening or photography. Trying new things can help ease some of the pain of grief for some and learning a new skill can help the transition into a new potentially more independent phase of one's life.

Helping those that have lost a loved one or spouse can be a rewarding aspect of supporting someone's grief journey. This Bereaved Spouses Month, keep your heart open, your time flexible and your mind compassionate.

For resources on bereavement and loss, feel free to visit our funeral home for more information. We will be happy to assist you.

This Christmas, Give Widows & Widowers the Gift of Your Friendship

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 18:13:41 GMT

The holiday season is jolly for some, but challenging for others - and it can be especially painful for those who have lost close loved ones.

The holiday season is jolly for some but challenging for others—and it can be especially painful for those who have lost close loved ones. Memories of past holidays spent together can trigger feelings of sorrow and loneliness. For those who have recently become widows or widowers, navigating the holidays presents some emotional hurdles.

How can you help support the widows and widowers you know? In short, simply reach out to them and let them know you are thinking about them. Make a special effort to get gifts for those who are going through a season of loss and know that your friendship may be the most significant gift of all.

This year will likely be especially difficult as many events and gatherings are canceled. It will be difficult for widows and widowers to spend time with extended family or friends, which can make them feel more isolated.

But even though things are different this year, that doesn’t mean you can’t still include your widow and widower friends in your plans. If you host a group video chat, invite them to join in. Or get creative and choose a recipe to make together. Then video chat while you are preparing and eating the food. Do you plan to attend a virtual Christmas Eve service? Send them the link to join as well. You may also be able to do other activities together as local restrictions and social distancing allow, such as going on a walk, hike or bike ride together.

You can also give physical gifts or gifts of service that let the widow or widower know you are thinking about them, even if you are social distancing. Have a care package delivered to their home and include favorite items. Drop off cookies or treats. Give them a gift card to a local restaurant so they can order takeout instead of having to cook. If they have children, drop off some kid-friendly board games or puzzles they can do together as a family. Or even offer to complete some chores for them such as grocery shopping, cooking or yard work.

If nothing else, make sure to reach out with calls, text messages, video chats or a hand-written card.

Widows and widowers may feel acute grief, but they are not as fragile as we think they are—certainly not too fragile to withstand the embrace of friendship.

Charity During the Holiday Season

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 18:06:06 GMT

Donating to others during the holidays can help brighten the lives of families in need while also providing a tangible way to work through the pain of loss.

During the holiday season, many of us are left to ponder not just the grief that flares up during the holidays but also "items" those we have lost have left behind.

And while some pieces are important to keep as family heirlooms and other personal reminders of those that have passed on, many items can be donated to those in need.

Preparing items for donation can be difficult. It makes you sort through the personal effects of someone you have lost and reexamine that person's life as they lived. This process may even bring up aspects of your loved one's life that you were not aware of.

Organization and taking your time are the best ways to cope with some of the negative feelings associated with cleaning out the artifacts left behind by those we've loved and lost. Reach out for help from family when possible, they often should be involved in the process of deciding what stays or goes. If that is not possible, the support of friends can help make the process a little less emotionally taxing, as well.

Donating items that are no longer needed can help to ease the physical burden that loss can add to one's life while also giving back to help make someone else's life a little easier. Large items like furniture, extra clothing, some electronics, and other pieces can be donated to charities if they are in good condition. Organizations like Goodwill or other local religious organizations will likely be able to take them. Many of these organizations will even help you haul away large items or numerous donations. Another added bonus is that many of these donations are tax-deductible.

Additionally, if you are planning a service for a lost loved one, you can request that in lieu of flowers a donation be made to a charity or cause that the deceased was closely affiliated with. Many organizations will accept donations in honor of someone who has passed on and those dollars will help those affected by similar conditions and ease the burden that illness puts on other families.

Donating to others during the holidays can help brighten the lives of families in need while also providing a tangible way to work through the pain of loss.

How to Get Through the Holiday Season After the Loss of a Loved One

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 18:03:55 GMT

The first time the holiday season comes around after a loved one dies can be the hardest. Here are some ways to help you cope.

Grief counselors and therapists agree that there isn't a right or wrong way to celebrate the holiday season after the loss of a loved one.

Since most holiday traditions center around time spent with friends and family, it can make the loss of a loved one feel even more magnified. The first time the holiday season comes around after a loved one passes it is likely you will have many unexpected feelings and emotions.

The first thing to do is to simply acknowledge that the holidays are going to be tough.

There is no way to get around it. If you try to hide your feelings or bury them you will only make yourself feel worse.

However, there are coping strategies that can help ease the pain. And friends and family members can take steps to support those in mourning.

1) Share memories with loved ones. While it can be difficult to bring up your loved one who has passed, not doing so can make things even worse. Take some time with friends and family to share memories of your loved one. Share funny or happy stories about the person. Remember that is OK to laugh, even though you are grieving.

2) Blend old traditions with new ones. Whatever the holiday is, the first time it comes around after losing a loved one will definitely be different. With your loved one gone, the traditions just won’t feel the same. If you do feel like you want to continue to celebrate it can be helpful to start blending old and new traditions together.

3) Cut back on holiday stressors. The holidays are typically a busy time. While many of the activities are fun, some may cause a lot of stress. Keep in mind that it is ok to find ways to cut back on these seasonal stressors. If cooking feels like too much work this year, order food or ask other family members to help you cook. It's also ok to skip events and gatherings if you choose.

4) Give mental health support a try. With all the things coming up, now is a great time to get some support. Things that were difficult to handle before may be even more difficult now. And often you don’t know how you are going to feel or react, so having someone who can provide you with added support can be very helpful. Connecting with others who share similar experiences can help you feel less isolated.

5) Pay attention to possible unhealthy coping techniques. A holiday season following the loss of a loved one can trigger many challenging thoughts and feelings. While this is totally normal, it is important to take care of yourself and pay close attention to your emotions. Feelings of apathy and hopelessness can be warning signs that your grief might be putting you at risk for depression. While there are many healthy ways to cope with your grief, it can be easy to turn to unhealthy means of coping such as withdrawing socially or turning to alcohol or food. If you notice any of these things happening, don't be afraid to ask for help from friends, family, or a professional.

New Year's Resolutions & Grief

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 18:00:35 GMT

Here are a few tips for helping you or those you know and love get through resolution season.

With the new year under way, it's now time for reflecting on the past year and how to improve your wellness, health and life in the upcoming one. But for those who have lost someone: resolution season can be a difficult time of making promises that are hard to keep. Here are a few tips for helping you or those you know and love get through resolution season.

Make Tangible Goals

It's easy to say "I want to lose weight." or "I want to make more money." but those are somewhat abstract goals. How do you plan to lose weight? How are you going to make more money? Attach concrete tasks to each goal. You can pledge to improve work output and earn a bonus or promotion. You can vow to cut down on sweets or fried foods and plan to work out more to lose weight. Those make aspirational goals easier to ground and easier to obtain. And for those that are grieving, the goals may be more rooted in emotion. "I want to cope better with loss." or "I want to honor those I have lost." Those also can be turned into tangible goals. Scheduling those crucial first appointments with grief counselors or therapists can help aid some of the grief of loss. Now, for honoring those that have passed on, those goals can be more varied.

Getting Creative

Honoring those that have been lost is a deeply personal task. Each person is different and each person's legacy is different. Some would love to be honored by a special memorial garden while others would want their loved ones to go on one more spectacular trip. Other ways of honoring those lost would be to vow to visit the places where your loved ones are laid to rest more often. You could also try new expressive ways to cope and grieve through artistic expression like poetry or painting.

Be Honest With Yourself

Change of any kind is difficult. Change while still processing the grief of a lost loved one is even more difficult. Be honest with your emotions and your grief. If you stumble along the way, know that you can always get back up. If you miss a day working out or aren't able to visit the cemetery as often as you'd like, accept it as a temporary stumbling point and move on vowing to do better next time.

This resolution season, be kind to yourself. Accept that each step is a step forward and that grief comes in many forms. Maybe it's an overemphasis on working out or cooking or it manifests as a nearly paralyzing fear to try anything new. Use this resolution season to try new things or rediscover some old hobbies that you love and shared with those who have passed. Take each day as an opportunity to honor the legacy of your loved ones.

Love and Loss, both Young and Old

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 17:58:37 GMT

Many lose their spouses before reaching old age and that loss can face different and unexpected challenges for those who find themselves without their partners by their side.

No one wants to think about the loss of a loved one especially those who have lost their spouses far too soon. There is no perfect time to become a widow or widower but many associate the death of a spouse with old age. The truth is that many lose their spouses before reaching old age and that loss can face different and unexpected challenges for those who find themselves without their partners by their side.

One of the biggest differences in losing a spouse young versus losing a spouse later on in life is oftentimes how to help young children cope with the loss of a parent and the potential of dating, marriage or even a blended family with children. There is no ideal time to start dating again after the loss of a spouse: take your time. For some it may be a few months, for others it may be a few years. Be honest with yourself and your children if such a topic would arise. Depending on the age of your child or their emotional maturity, you may be able to have such conversations early in your foray into dating. Explain that no one will ever be able to replace your child's mother or father and that your heart is full enough to love them just as much as they may love the person you start dating or any family that may be blended if things progress well and further. There are plenty of resources available to help young children and teens going through loss like books, therapeutic games and activities, journals and coloring books that can help children and young teens express their feelings surrounding loss, new people entering their lives and the uncertainty that new relationships and dynamics can bring with them.

Consider a support group or therapy for those who have also lost spouses relatively young. Finding support from others can be a vitally important part of one's grief journey: knowing that you are not alone is key and the compassion and care from others can help you feel less isolated by loss. A licensed therapist who specializes in grief can help provide you with tangible coping mechanisms to help you through your grief journey: there is no shame in seeking professional help during a season of grief, be sure to get the help you need.

Every day, be kind to yourself. Take time to spend a day alone, with friends, with family or on a date: whichever helps you move through your grief journey with grace.

Respecting Deceased Ancestors on Dia de los Muertos (Day of the Dead)

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 17:56:14 GMT

For some individuals, the Day of the Dead - known in Spanish as "Dia de los Muertos" - is an unfamiliar and exotic tradition. However, this practice is common all throughout Mexico and in many parts of the United States. For instance, as a state rich in Mexican heritage, Texas is one place where Day of the Dead celebrations are not uncommon. Honoring the deceased with similar festivities is also found in many South American, Spanish, African and Asian cultures - all carrying their own unique customs and meanings.

Meaning of Day of the Dead

Although the words "Day of the Dead" may seem disconcerting, it is important to remember that this traditional Mexican holiday actually marks a celebration. The purpose of this event is to commemorate and honor past ancestors, typically held on November 1 and 2. While this holiday follows the timeline of Christian-based All Soul's Day and All Saint's Day, Dia de los Muertos actually dates back to ancient Aztec cultures that followed this tradition to honor the process of birth and death.

While actual practices can vary from region to region, most Mexican cultures will celebrate Day of the Dead on November 1 to honor children who have passed away, while November 2 is reserved for paying homage to deceased adults.

Day of the Dead Traditions

Many may be familiar with the bright clothing, floral arrangements and "sugar skull" painted faces that are often used by celebrants in Hispanic cultures. However, there are many more interesting practices that follow this historic holiday. For instance, many will leave gifts - also known as ofrendas - to help deceased ancestors along their journey in the afterlife. These gifts - such as food, flowers, pillows, clothing, memorabilia, photos - are typically left at gravesites or in the family home.

Those who see families decorating gravesites with marigolds and colorful sugar skulls in November should remember that while designed as a festivity, this is a deeply historic and respected tradition throughout Hispanic culture. As an inviting community-based holiday, individuals who are curious can often delight in celebrating Dia de los Muertos if traveling abroad in Mexico or coming across festivities in the U.S.

National Home Caregivers Month

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 17:54:13 GMT

November is National Home Caregivers Month.

November is National Family Caregivers Month, a time to honor and celebrate all those who care for their loved ones. We would especially like to take time this month to recognize and honor those who care for their parents. Shopping, cleaning, bathing, arranging doctor visits, transportation and providing ongoing comfort for aging family members is both rewarding and difficult. Thank you so much for your countless hours of providing care.

While caregiving can be a very rewarding job, it can also be stressful and isolating due to the demands on your time.

Here are some coping tips for caregivers.

Seek support from other caregivers. Know that you are not alone. Talking to others who are going through the same thing you are is beneficial.
Take care of yourself. While it can be difficult to find time to take care of yourself, it’s hard to take care of others if you are not happy and healthy yourself.
Learn how to effectively communicate with doctors. Take notes and keep them somewhere they are easy to find for visits and phone calls. Make sure to ask questions if you are unsure about what the doctor is saying.
Take breaks when you can. It can be hard to take a break if it leaves your parent without someone to care for them. However, there are options available for care. Respite care provides short-term care at a care facility or even in the home. Adult daycare is another possible option. Search for options in your area.
Make sure legal and medical information is up to date and organized. Keep information in an easy to find spot and check regularly to see if anything needs to be updated.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help. If you start to feel overwhelmed, help is available. Reach out to family and friends or seek help from a professional.
Continue to learn. Seek out books, support groups or websites that can help you manage your stress and connect with other caregivers.
Know that you are doing an incredible job and that your work is important. Your caregiving responsibilities are unpaid, but that doesn’t mean that you aren’t valuable. This is a tough job so make sure to give yourself credit.

To all caregivers, thank you for what you are doing every day. Your love and dedication make this world a better place.

Alzheimer's Awareness Month

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 17:48:22 GMT

November is Alzheimer's Awareness Month

November is Alzheimer's Awareness Month. Alzheimer's Disease is a degenerative neurological condition that mostly affects elderly patients and is described as being a consistent loss of memory, motor skills and neurological function in an individual. Alzheimer's is often times a terminal diagnosis but one that can take years to run its course.

Alzheimer's is a chronic and degenerative illness, it will continue to get worse the longer the person deals with the condition. That often means that long-term care solutions must be discussed early on once a diagnosis is made by a medical professional. These long-term solutions can be emotional and difficult to make. With that in mind, here are a few ways you can assist those dealing with Alzheimer's and those who are caring for them.

When friends and family come to visit either at home or in a care facility, encourage photos to be taken. These photos are not just great mementos but they can also be wonderful reminders of close friends and loved ones. Oftentimes, Alzheimer's patients have difficulty remembering even close family but photographs are an excellent way to help attach names to faces.

Maintain a regular schedule for visits to those in care facilities or in nursing homes. Regular visits can help maintain the memory of those who are facing memory loss. Routine is an important part of easing some of the anxiety that can come from memory loss and being in regular contact with those that may have difficulty remembering can help reinforce some of those fading memories.

You may consider joining a support group or seeing a therapist to help you cope with the emotions that go alongside the diagnosis of Alzheimer's in a loved one. It can be difficult taking care of a loved one or putting aside the guilt that can arise from placing someone in assisted living. It is important to express those feelings and thoughts with a professional trained in helping you with the skills and coping mechanisms needed to carry on.

Alzheimer's Disease is a difficult diagnosis for a loved one to receive but know that there are support groups, resources and professionals that are trained to help you and your loved one get through this. A great start is right here at Alzheimer's Association, www.alz.org , and Alzheimer's Foundation at www.alzfdn.org .

National Family Caregivers Month

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 17:32:40 GMT

National Family Caregivers Month is a time to honor and celebrate all those who care for their loved ones. We would especially like to take time this month to recognize and honor those who care for their parents. Shopping, cleaning, bathing, arranging doctor visits, transportation and providing ongoing comfort for aging family members is both rewarding and difficult. Thank you so much for your countless hours of providing care.

While caregiving can be a very rewarding job, it can also be stressful and isolating due to the demands on your time.

Here are some coping tips for caregivers.

Seek support from other caregivers. Know that you are not alone. Talking to others who are going through the same thing you are is beneficial.
Take care of yourself. While it can be difficult to find time to take care of yourself, it’s hard to take care of others if you are not happy and healthy yourself.
Learn how to effectively communicate with doctors. Take notes and keep them somewhere they are easy to find for visits and phone calls. Make sure to ask questions if you are unsure about what the doctor is saying.
Take breaks when you can. It can be hard to take a break if it leaves your parent without someone to care for them. However, there are options available for care. Respite care provides short-term care at a care facility or even in the home. Adult daycare is another possible option. Search for options in your area.
Make sure legal and medical information is up to date and organized. Keep information in an easy-to-find spot and check regularly to see if anything needs to be updated.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help. If you start to feel overwhelmed, help is available. Reach out to family and friends or seek help from a professional.
Continue to learn. Seek out books, support groups or websites that can help you manage your stress and connect with other caregivers.
Know that you are doing an incredible job and that your work is important. Your caregiving responsibilities are unpaid, but that doesn’t mean that you aren’t valuable. This is a tough job so make sure to give yourself credit.

To all caregivers, thank you for what you are doing every day. Your love and dedication make this world a better place.

Holiday Grief: Myths vs. Reality

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 17:28:43 GMT

Understanding these myths and realities can help those grieving during the holiday season to navigate their emotions more effectively.

We often observe that the holiday season, typically depicted as a time of joy and unity, can present unique challenges for those in mourning. This period may intensify feelings of loneliness and sorrow, contrasting sharply with societal expectations of happiness. It's imperative, therefore, to differentiate between common misconceptions and the realities of grieving during the holidays. This understanding is key to navigating these emotionally complex weeks with greater self-compassion and awareness.

Myth 1: You Should Feel Happy During the Holidays
Reality: It's normal to feel a range of emotions during the holidays, especially after the loss of a loved one. Grief can intensify feelings of sadness, loneliness, and even anger. Acknowledging these feelings as valid and normal is crucial in the grieving process.

Myth 2: It's Best to Avoid Talking About the Loved One Who Passed Away
Reality: Talking about the loved one you lost can be healing. Sharing stories and memories can provide comfort to you and others who are also missing this person. It keeps their memory alive and helps in processing your grief.

Myth 3: The First Holiday Season is the Hardest
Reality: While the first holiday season without a loved one can be particularly challenging, grief doesn’t follow a set timeline. Subsequent holidays might also be difficult, or certain triggers might unexpectedly intensify grief. It's essential to be patient with yourself, regardless of where you are in your grieving process.

Myth 4: You Should Keep the Same Holiday Traditions
Reality: Maintaining the same traditions can sometimes amplify the sense of loss. It’s okay to create new traditions or modify existing ones to better suit your current emotional state. This can also be a way to honor your loved one while making space for your grief.

Myth 5: Grieving Should Occur in Private
Reality: Seeking support during grief is not a sign of weakness. Sharing your feelings with friends, family, or a support group can be incredibly helpful. Being around others who understand and respect your need to grieve can provide a sense of comfort and belonging.

Myth 6: Grief Should Be Over Within a Certain Time Frame
Reality: Grief has no set expiration date. The process is highly individual, and it’s normal for grief to ebb and flow over time, especially during significant dates like holidays.

Myth 7: If You're Grieving, You Can't Enjoy the Holidays at All
Reality: Experiencing moments of joy or laughter doesn't mean you're not grieving properly. It's possible to find moments of happiness while still honoring your loss. It's also okay to participate in holiday activities to the extent that you feel comfortable.

Myth 8: You Must Attend Holiday Events and Gatherings
Reality: It’s okay to choose which holiday events you attend. If you feel a gathering might be too overwhelming, it’s perfectly acceptable to decline the invitation. Prioritizing your well-being is paramount.

Myth 9: Grief Diminishes Over Time in a Linear Fashion
Reality: Grief can be unpredictable and non-linear. Some days will feel more challenging than others, and this fluctuation is a normal part of the grieving process.

Myth 10: Moving on Means Forgetting Your Loved One
Reality: Moving forward in your grief is not about forgetting your loved one. It’s about finding ways to integrate your loss into your life and continuing to honor their memory.

Understanding these myths and realities can help those grieving during the holiday season to navigate their emotions more effectively. It is important to emphasize the significance of honoring your unique grieving process and timeline. It's vital to acknowledge your personal needs and seek support when it feels necessary. Grief is a deeply individual experience, and there is no universally correct way to navigate it, particularly during emotionally intense periods like the holiday season. Being gentle with yourself and accepting your journey is crucial.

Veterans & PTSD

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 17:26:21 GMT

It is important to remember the struggle so many returning veterans face when they return from serving our country. PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) is a psychological condition that affects those that have experienced a severe trauma in their lives. Trauma is not rare and 60% percent of men and 50% of women experience a trauma in their lives. For returning veterans 11-20% of veterans returning from Operation Iraqi Freedom returned with PTSD and 15% of veterans returning from the Vietnam War returned home with PTSD. PTSD has a variety of symptoms and behaviors attached to it such as insomnia, nightmares or night terrors, difficulty "leaving war behind”, panic during surprise situations (even non-aggressive ones) and fear or panic at the sound of loud noises. PTSD can also manifest as anger, anxiety and sometimes hides underneath addiction to alcohol and other substances.

PTSD is something that affects so many of our veterans and it is our responsibility to take care of those who have served our great nation. Here are some resources that may be beneficial for veterans coping with PTSD and/or the friends and family of those coping with the condition.

Return from War
https://www.ptsd.va.gov/public/PTSD-overview/reintegration/index.asp

Is it PTSD?
https://www.ptsd.va.gov/public/assessment/index.asp

Treatment
https://www.ptsd.va.gov/public/treatment/therapy-med/index.asp

Get Help with VA PTSD Care, Benefits, or Claims
https://www.ptsd.va.gov/public/treatment/Veterans/get_help_with_va.as

Helping Children Cope with Losing a Pet

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 17:22:30 GMT

Saying goodbye to a cherished pet can rock your little one's world, leading to some thorny emotions and complicated questions.

Grief is a difficult thing to process, no matter how old you are. For children, grief can be especially disorienting. And sometimes, it's not even the grief over a deceased friend or family member. Even saying goodbye to a cherished pet can rock your little one's world, leading to some thorny emotions and complicated questions.

As a parent, there are a few ways you can help your child through the grieving process. The most important thing you can do is be there to listen. Let your child know that they can come to you to talk about their feelings or to ask any questions they may have. At the same time, don't push too hard; allow your child the space to process on their own if that's what they need. Let them determine when they're ready for a conversation.

Sometimes, having a simple memorial and/or burial service can be helpful, allowing your child a chance to say their final farewells and to experience a sense of closure. Raise the issue with your son or daughter, and if they seem receptive to it, plan a small service. Try to get your whole family to participate.

There are a number of ways in which you can help your child remember their lost pet, whether it's by creating a photo album or a memory box. You can also guide them in writing or drawing something to help them memorialize their pet. For some kids, this is a healthy form of catharsis.

At the end of the day, what matters most is just that you're there to support your child, remembering that we all process grief in different ways and on different timelines. Offering a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on, whenever your child needs it, is really the most valuable thing you can do.

The Grieving Process: Helping Friends Cope with the Passing of a Pet

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 17:18:33 GMT

The nature of humanity gives us an unparalleled perspective among all of Earth's creatures. We have the ability to build strong relationships with the awareness that those relationships will come to an end. Our connection to animals is no different than that of other humans because we spend years, even decades, with a loyal and sympathetic companion.

When dealing with loss, we all have our own methods of coping. Regardless of the circumstances or preferences, there are a few steps you, as a friend, can take to help someone handle the loss of a pet.

First and foremost, be available to your friend who just lost a beloved animal. The worst feeling any person can experience is reaching out to somebody who is not there. If you were unavailable when first contacted, make every effort to get in touch with and visit the grieving friend. This helps validate their feelings and makes them feel appreciated.

When spending time together, reminisce and celebrate the joy the pet brought to you, your friend and others. If there are any pictures or videos of the pet, get them out and fondly remember the times that were shared.

The entire grieving process regarding a pet is difficult. It is important, however, to encourage your friend to get back into a normal routine. You need to be proactive in encouraging your friend's routine activities and leisurely hobbies to find that normalcy in life again.

The time you spend with a friend in mourning can also incorporate more than his or her daily activities. There have been amazing recoveries within grief-stricken pet owners when they volunteer at a local rescue shelter. In this regard, you are not asking your friend to replace the pet, but you are getting them to care for another animal in need, which is greatly therapeutic.

The Healing Power of Volunteering

During the grieving process, we all feel helpless. However, the feeling does not necessitate that we become helpless. From the ASPCA to the Humane Society to thousands of local shelters, there are plenty of opportunities to become a part of a solution for protecting animals. By encouraging your friend, you have empowered him or her to do something valuable that immerses them in a caring environment among animals.

The volunteer work affords opportunities to interact with both new animals and new people. Providing quality companionship will help encourage someone in mourning to push forward and not allow grief to overcome their tenacity.

Understanding Grief for Military Families

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 16:56:09 GMT

Surviving members of a military family may find themselves feeling a range of differing emotions if their loved one passes away while in military service.

Whenever we lose a loved one, we grieve. But surviving members of a military family may find themselves feeling a range of differing emotions if their loved one passes away while in military service.

Serving in the armed services carries risks, and families are aware of these risks when their loved one enlists. Military casualties are typically sudden and may occur after a long absence or even multiple deployments. It is possible that the surviving family members would have not seen their loved one for a long time prior to the passing.

Because of this, if a loved one passes away while serving in the military, the survivors will feel emotions unique to their circumstances. For instance, family members may feel pride for their loved one’s service, but they will also feel despair over their loss. They may also feel anger at the military, depending on how the death occurred. Or they may feel relief because they no longer have to worry any more. This may also make them feel guilty. These emotions can be hard to deal with and as with any grief, healing will take time.

However, because there are other families who have been through similar events, military families will also find themselves with a large support network available.

The Journey of Grief

As the grief journey begins, survivors will feel many different emotions. Grief can also manifest itself in physical ways such as difficulty sleeping, loss of appetite, memory loss and difficulty concentrating. Unfortunately, there are no short cuts in the grieving process. The journey is different for everyone.

It is likely that surviving family members will also feel secondary losses. This includes changes in relationships and lifestyles. Family members may start to find it hard to talk to other military families who have not experienced a loss. They may also feel resentful of other military families.

Eventually, if none of the surviving family members are in the military, the family will have to move from military housing. This can compound their grief. Surviving family members will have to form new social connections and create a new identity apart from their loved one.

Knowing where to turn for support can help. Fortunately, there are many resources and support groups available to military families. For grief resources, visit https://www.vetcenter.va.gov/bereavement_counseling.asp or contact our funeral home ... we can help you find the resources you need.

Supporting the Bereaved in the Aftermath of a Suicide

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 16:53:55 GMT

Losing a loved one is never easy but losing a loved one to suicide can be particularly taxing.

Losing a loved one is never easy but losing a loved one to suicide can be particularly taxing. Not only do the surviving loved ones have to grapple with what is typically a sudden death, but they also find themselves overwhelmed with questions that will likely never be answered.

Those who are bereaved in the aftermath of a suicide need love and encouragement as much as anyone else does - but how do you offer this support for someone dealing with so harrowing a loss?

To a large extent, you offer your support to these mourners the same way you would any other. Be there for them. Listen to them as they unload their emotional burdens, or simply offer them companionship when they feel like they need it. Offer to help with daily tasks and chores that may be hard to deal with in the wake of a loss.

Also remember that there are innumerable reasons for suicide, and you will probably never know the real reason why the person in question chose this path. As such, it is imperative to avoid anything that might sound like a judgment or a diagnosis. Accept that there are questions that will never be fully resolved.

More than anything, just offer yourself to those in mourning; allow them to lean on you as needed, even if that means venting or musing aloud about their loss. You don't need to provide them with answers; what they need more than anything is your love and friendship.

Grief: A Time to Heal - Loss of Spouse from Suicide

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 16:51:24 GMT

Your spouse or partner has died from suicide. As you struggle to accept this difficult loss, you may find yourself consumed by pain, fear, grief and intense guilt.

Grief is a natural response to losing someone who was important to you. Grief hurts, but it is necessary. When a death tears your world apart, grieving is the process that helps put it back together.

While grief is natural, it is also highly individual. How a person grieves depends on several factors. Your relationship with the person who died will certainly influence your grief, but so will your age, sex, religion, and previous experiences with death. The circumstances of death will also affect the intensity of your grief. In short, no one can tell you exactly how you will, or should, experience grief.

Reactions to Death
Certain reactions to the death of a loved one are quite common and you can expect to experience some of them. You may go into shock. You will likely even find yourself denying at first that the person has died. "You feel numb, you feel like a spectator watching what's going on," explains Dr. Earl Grollman, noted author of books on death, dying and bereavement. Grollman says this response is nature's way of protecting you, of insulating you from what is happening.

Trauma
Death by suicide is sudden, unexpected and possibly violent. In addition to all the normal feelings and emotions associated with grief and loss, you may also have to deal with possible feelings of PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) and anxiety brought on by the circumstances surrounding the death.

Anger
Another immediate reaction to a death is anger. You may feel anger toward the doctors or nurses who couldn't save your loved one, toward the funeral director and toward God. You may even feel anger toward your spouse or partner for leaving you. Unfortunately, most of us were taught as children that anger is something to be avoided; you may therefore feel guilty when your anger will not go away.

Guilt
Survivors of suicide (those who are left behind to mourn the loss) typically feel intense guilt. It is common for survivors to believe they somehow should have prevented the death. There may be a tendency to dwell on an argument you had with your spouse or partner or any number of other events you think may have contributed to their death. However, research shows that there is not just one single factor that leads someone to die by suicide, typically it is a combination of things ranging from health issues (mental or physical) to going through big life changes. And even though you may look back and see warning signs, it’s important to know that even mental health experts have difficulty identifying the warning signs. Most importantly, though, remember that you are not at fault, even if you feel like you should have known.

Depression

As the reality of a death sinks in, it is common for the bereaved to slip into depression. Even if you are normally a committed, caring person, you could find that you don't care about anything or anyone.

You may also feel helpless and childlike. When you lose someone close, you also experience "secondary losses" that accrue because of the death. When you lose a spouse, you lose a life partner. You will have to make decisions you likely weren’t responsible for in the past or take on household chores that you didn’t have to do before. These secondary losses can leave you feeling confused and panicky. For this reason, you should avoid making any major decisions. Try to postpone them until you can think more clearly and have a better idea of how your life is going to change.

Preoccupation
Another common reaction among grievers is preoccupation with the person who died. You may think about him or her constantly, re-create the circumstances of the death over and over in your mind, have dreams or nightmares about the person - you may even think you see or hear the deceased. Many people are surprised and frightened by the intensity of these reactions, but it's important to realize that, bizarre as they may seem, these reactions are normal.

The mental strain of grief can take a physical toll as well. It's not unusual for the bereaved to lose weight, have trouble sleeping, become irritable or listless, or feel short of breath.

Shame and Isolation
Unfortunately, there is a lot of stigma surrounding suicide. You may feel ashamed to talk about what happened. It can be extremely hard to find a trusted person to talk to and you may start to feel isolated. Know, however, that talking about your feelings is a very important part of the healing process. If you can’t talk to friends or family, find a doctor, counselor, therapist or religious leader to speak with about your feelings.

Coping with Grief
How can you overcome the problems of grief? You must first recognize that grief is necessary, and that it is something you must work through. As Grollman says, there is no shortcut through grief.

One of the best ways to begin working through grief is to attend the funeral. A funeral confirms the reality of death and serves as a focus for expressing feelings of loss. Funerals also stimulate mourners to begin talking about the deceased, one of the first steps toward accepting the death.

Both before and after the funeral, it is important that you express your feelings. Take time to cry and don't be afraid to share your tears with other mourners. Talk openly with family members and friends. Don't try to "protect" other family members by hiding your sadness: it helps them as much as it does you. Express your anger if you are feeling it. This is the time to lean on friends. They will likely feel awkward for a while because they don't know how to talk to you about your loss. But you can help them help you by simply telling them what you need.

Join a Support Group
Research shows that suicide survivors benefit from counseling and support groups. It can be helpful to talk to others who are going through the same thing you are. If you can’t attend an in-person session, online options are becoming more readily available. Don’t feel like you need to find a support group right away, but when you are ready for support, reach out.

Survivors are also at increased risk for thinking about, planning or attempting suicide. If you have these thoughts, they are normal. This doesn’t mean you will act on them. But, if these thoughts and feelings are persistent or get more intense, speak to a trusted friend and make sure to seek help from a professional.

Lighten Your Schedule
If you normally have a pressing schedule, try to lighten it. Remember, grief is mentally stressful; you don't need the added strain of too much work to do. Set aside some quiet times for yourself, so you can think about the death and your feelings and put things in perspective.

Take Care of Yourself
Remember to watch your health. With grief taking a toll on you physically, you need to eat well and get enough sleep. Try to exercise as well. Physical activity can often help offset depression and provide an outlet for your emotional energy.

Know that Time Heals
Finally, remember that as time goes on, your grief will diminish. Even though you may not feel like you will survive this, you can. This does not mean you will forget your spouse; it means you accept the death. But he or she will still be part of your life. Even though your relationship with your spouse or partner has changed forever, its existence and your feelings live on forever.

Throughout this year we will send you biweekly grief newsletters. We hope these newsletters will help support you on your grief journey and help you to begin to process your grief.

If at any time you have questions or need some help, do not hesitate to reach out to our funeral home. We will be happy to help connect you with resources you may need.

If you ever need immediate help, there are many resources available for survivors of suicide. You can call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 for free and confidential support 24/7.

When a Soulmate Dies

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 16:47:41 GMT

Something you should know about losing a soulmate: At first, you will feel like you just can't go on. It is normal, natural, and even healthy to feel a little bit adrift.

Something you should know about losing a soulmate: At first, you will feel like you just can't go on. It is normal, natural, and even healthy to feel a little bit adrift, not just like you've lost someone you care about, but like you've lost a piece of yourself.

Perhaps the best thing you can do during your grieving process, then, is just to be patient with yourself. For most individuals, the process of intense bereavement over a soulmate can take up to a year and even then, you'll never fully be the same again.

In addition to showing yourself some grace and some patience, there are other steps you can take to facilitate a healthy grieving process. One valuable endeavor is to simply learn more about loss and grief. You can do this by reading memoirs and reflections from others who have lost a soulmate, or even attend a support group with those who are in a similar position.

Remember that the point of grief isn't just to stifle it, but to actually feel it. To that end, it can be helpful to see a therapist or a close friend to whom you can express what you're really feeling. It's also okay to have days when you simply feel sad and crave solitude; confronting your feelings, rather than muffling or masking them, can be a healthy way to move forward.

Also make sure you take care of yourself. Eat healthy food, try to get some physical activity each day, and seek an activity that allows you a positive outlet for stress. And finally, remember that you are not alone. Reach out to friends or family whenever you need to talk or simply need someone to give you a hug and remind you that you are loved.

Grief: A Time to Heal - Loss of Spouse

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 16:45:42 GMT

Your spouse or partner has died. As you struggle to accept this difficult loss, you may find yourself consumed by pain, fear, and grief. Throughout this year we will send you biweekly grief newsletters. We hope these newsletters will help support you on your grief journey and help you to begin to process your grief.

Your spouse or partner has died. As you struggle to accept this difficult loss, you may find yourself consumed by pain, fear, and grief.

Grief is a natural response to losing someone who was important to you. Grief hurts, but it is necessary. When a death tears your world apart, grieving is the process that helps put it back together.

Reactions to Death
Certain reactions to the death of a loved one are quite common and you can expect to experience some of them. You may go into shock. If the death was unexpected, you may even find yourself denying at first that the person has died. "You feel numb, you feel like a spectator watching what's going on," explains Dr. Earl Grollman, noted author of books on death, dying, and bereavement. Grollman says this response is nature's way of protecting you, of insulating you from what is happening.

Anger
Another immediate reaction to a death is anger. You may feel anger toward the doctors or nurses who couldn't save your loved one, toward the funeral director and toward God. You may even feel anger toward your spouse or partner for leaving you. Unfortunately, most of us were taught as children that anger is something to be avoided; you may, therefore, feel guilty when your anger will not go away.

Guilt
You could find yourself feeling guilty for several reasons. It is common for a bereaved person to feel guilty simply for being alive when someone else has died. You may believe you somehow should have prevented the death or should have been present to say goodbye. There may be a tendency to dwell on an argument you had with your spouse or partner.

Depression

You may also feel helpless and childlike. When you lose someone close, you also experience "secondary losses" that accrue because of the death. When you lose a spouse, you lose a life partner. You will have to make decisions you likely weren’t responsible for in the past or take on household chores that didn’t have to do before. These secondary losses can leave you feeling confused and panicky. For this reason, you should avoid making any major decisions. Try to postpone them until you can think more clearly and have a better idea of how your life is going to change.

Preoccupation
Another common reaction among grievers is preoccupation with the person who died. You may think about him or her constantly, re-create the circumstances of the death over and over in your mind, have dreams or nightmares about the person-you may even think you see or hear the deceased. Many people are surprised and frightened by the intensity of these reactions, but it's important to realize that, bizarre as they may seem, these reactions are normal.

The mental strain of grief can take a physical toll as well. It's not unusual for the bereaved to lose weight, have trouble sleeping, become irritable or listless, or feel short of breath.

Both before and after the funeral, it is important that you express your feelings. Take time to cry and don't be afraid to share your tears with other mourners. Talk openly with family members and friends. Don't try to "protect" other family members by hiding your sadness: it helps them as much as it does you. Express your anger if you are feeling it. This is the time to lean on friends. They may feel awkward for a while because they don't know how to talk to you about your loss. But you can help them help you by simply telling them what you need.

Watch Your Health
Remember to watch your health. With grief taking a toll on you physically, you need to eat well and get enough sleep. Try to exercise as well. Physical activity can often help offset depression and provide an outlet for your emotional energy.

Seek Support
What if you can't seem to handle your grief? It is difficult to say when a person needs professional help, but if you are worried that you aren't coping with your grief, it is time to seek help. You may simply be relieved to discover that you are reacting normally. If you believe you need help, ask your clergyperson, doctor, or funeral director to suggest a counselor.

Know that Time Heals
Finally, remember that as time goes on, your grief will diminish. This does not mean you will forget your loved one; it means you accept the death. But he or she will still be part of your life. Even though your relationship with your spouse or partner has changed, its existence and your feelings live on forever.

Throughout this year we will send you biweekly grief newsletters. We hope these newsletters will help support you on your grief journey and help you to begin to process your grief.

If at any time you have questions or need some help, do not hesitate to reach out to our funeral home. We will be happy to help connect you with resources you may need.

Reactions to a Spouse's Death

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 16:41:55 GMT

If your husband or wife has died, you will probably experience some of the common symptoms of grief.

If your husband or wife has died, you will probably experience some of the common symptoms of grief. You may find yourself denying at first that your spouse has died. Later, you may feel numb or like a spectator watching what's going on. This is nature's way of protecting you, of insulating you from what is happening so you can adjust.

Anger and Guilt

You may also find yourself filled with anger. You may feel angry at the doctors or nurses who couldn't save your spouse, at the funeral director - even God. You may feel angry at your spouse for leaving you and then feel guilty for this anger.

You may find yourself feeling guilty for a number of reasons. It is common for the bereaved to feel guilty simply for being alive. You may believe you somehow should have prevented the death or been present to say good-bye. Because relationships are never perfect, you were bound to have had some disagreements with your spouse. Now you may feel guilty for those arguments or believe you should have been a "better" husband or wife.

Physical Signs of Grief

The mental strain of grief can take a physical toll as well. It's not unusual for the bereaved to lose weight, have difficulty sleeping, become irritable or listless, or feel short of breath. Grief has even been known to cause hair loss.

Other Signs of Grief

Husbands and wives who have lost a spouse frequently become preoccupied with the person who died. You may think about your spouse constantly, re-create the circumstances of the death over and over in your mind, or have dreams or nightmares about him or her. You may even think you see or hear your spouse.

Many people are surprised and frightened by the intensity of these reactions. "Grief feels like craziness to the person who's undergoing it," explains Therese Rando, a psychologist. Dr. Rando says it is important to realize that, bizarre as they may seem, these reactions are normal.

Grieving is a natural, though incredibly difficult, process. Recognizing that grief can affect you in many ways and that it can change from day to day is one of the first step to beginning the healing process.

Coping with Grief When You Lose a Spouse

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 16:38:44 GMT

How can you overcome the problems you face after your spouse has died?

How can you overcome the problems you face after your spouse has died? First, you must recognize that grief is necessary, and that it is something you must work through. There is no shortcut.

Vent Your Feelings

It is important that you allow yourself to vent your feelings. Take time to cry. Don't be afraid to share your tears with other mourners. Talk openly with family members and friends. Don't try to "protect" your children or other family members by hiding your sadness. Express your anger if you are feeling it. This is the time to lean on your friends. They may feel awkward for a while because they don't know how to talk to you about your loss. You can help them help you by simply telling them what you need.

Lighten Your Schedule

If you normally have a pressing schedule, try to lighten it. Remember, grief is mentally taxing. You don't need the added strain of too much to do. Set aside some quiet times just for yourself, so you can think about your spouse's death and put things in perspective.

Remember that There is No Timetable

Healing doesn’t happen overnight. It happens gradually, and there is not a normal timetable for grieving. For some people it may take weeks or months to start to feel better. For others, it may take years. It’s also important to remember that even if you have accepted your loss, that doesn’t mean that you have forgotten the person.

What if you can't seem to handle your grief? It’s important to understand that there is no timetable for grief, so it is difficult to say when a person needs professional help.

If you are worried that you are not coping well with your grief, you might consider talking to a counselor.

Grief and Depression

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 16:36:18 GMT

When you lose a loved one, it's only natural to feel sad. However, there's a difference between normal feelings of grief and clinical depression.

When you lose a loved one, it’s only natural to feel sad. Those feelings of melancholy may persist for weeks or even months, and that’s okay. However, there’s are differences between normal feelings of grief and clinical depression. It’s important to be aware of the signs and symptoms of the latter and to seek care when necessary.

Spotting the differences between grief and depression can be challenging, as there is certainly some overlap between them. For example, both grief and depression can result in intense sadness, insomnia, a poor appetite, and weight loss.

One key difference, however, is that grief tends to abate over time - and it can also come in waves. For example, certain people or situations may help you feel better, at least temporarily. Depression, meanwhile, is much more persistent and pervasive.

Some additional signs that it’s depression, not grief, that you’re dealing with:

You have feelings of guilt that are unrelated to your grief.
You have thoughts about committing suicide.
You have low self-esteem or become preoccupied by how "worthless” you are.
You become sluggish, hesitant, or confused in your speech.
You have prolonged difficulty in carrying out simple, day-to-day tasks.

These are all signs that you have clinical depression and should seek treatment. This could be as simple as regular therapy sessions, or it may include the use of antidepressant medications.

It’s important to remember that bereavement is natural and normal - but depression is something altogether different. If you believe you are struggling with depression, make sure you reach out to someone who can help you find the treatment you need.

Coping with the Loss of a Pet

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 16:30:12 GMT

Losing a loved one is always hard and that's true whether your loved one is a human being or a four-legged friend.

Losing a loved one is always hard - and that's true whether your loved one is a human being or a four-legged friend. Saying goodbye to a cherished pet means going through a period of bereavement, and it's only natural to feel overcome with grief for days, weeks, or even months.

Just like mourning the loss of a human being, there's no wrong way to grieve the loss of your pet. With that said, it's always important to find someone you can talk with, openly and honestly, about what you're going through. Think about friends who have pets of their own, and who you can count on to understand what you are going through.

Though it's certainly not required that you have a memorial service for your pet, doing so can sometimes provide a sense of closure. Even if it's just you and your family members gathering to say a few words in remembrance, it can be useful to you as you cope with grief.

You might also consider ways to honor and remember your pet, whether that means framing a photo or preserving some of your pet's favorite toys in a "memory box".

It's okay if your grief keeps you away from some of your typical activities, at least temporarily - but do make sure you're staying healthy. Continue to eat three nutritious meals a day, get some exercise, and allow yourself some sleep each night.

More than anything else, remember that there's no one method and no correct timeline for mourning. Be gracious with yourself and allow ample time to process your feelings of grief.

Grief: A Time to Heal - Loss of Pet

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 16:26:59 GMT

You have just lost a beloved pet. As you struggle to accept this difficult loss, you may find yourself consumed by pain, fear, and grief. Throughout this year we will send you monthly grief newsletters. We hope these newsletters will help support you on your grief journey and help you to begin to process your grief.

You have just lost a beloved pet. As you struggle to accept this difficult loss, you may find yourself consumed by pain, fear, and grief.

Grief is a natural response to losing a pet who was important to you. Grief hurts, but it is necessary. When a death tears your world apart, grieving is the process that helps put it back together.

While grief is natural, it is also highly individual. No one can tell you exactly how you will, or should, experience grief.

Reactions to Death
Certain reactions to the death of a beloved pet are quite common and you can expect to experience some of them. You may go into shock. If the death was unexpected, you may even find yourself denying at first that the pet has died. "You feel numb, you feel like a spectator watching what's going on," explains Dr. Earl Grollman, noted author of books on death, dying and bereavement. Grollman says this response is nature's way of protecting you, of insulating you from what is happening.

Anger
Another immediate reaction to a death is anger. You may feel anger toward the vet who couldn't save your pet and toward God. You may even feel anger toward your pet for leaving you. Unfortunately, most of us were taught as children that anger is something to be avoided; you may therefore feel guilty when your anger will not go away.

Guilt

You could find yourself feeling guilty for several reasons. You may believe you somehow should have prevented the death or should have been present to say goodbye.

Depression

When you lose a pet, you also experience "secondary losses" that accrue because of the death. You lose out on many experiences you would have had together, which can compound your grief.

Preoccupation
Another common reaction among grievers is preoccupation with the pet who died. You may think about him or her constantly, re-create the circumstances of the death over and over in your mind, have dreams or nightmares about your pet - you may even think you see or hear him or her. Many people are surprised and frightened by the intensity of these reactions, but it's important to realize that, bizarre as they may seem, these reactions are normal.

The mental strain of grief can take a physical toll as well. It's not unusual for the bereaved to lose weight, have trouble sleeping, become irritable or listless, or feel short of breath.

One of the best ways to begin working through grief is to have a memorial service for your pet. This helps confirm the reality of death and serves as a focus for expressing feelings of loss. A memorial service can also stimulate mourners to begin talking about the deceased, one of the first steps toward accepting the death.

Both before and after the memorial service, it is important that you express your feelings. Take time to cry and don't be afraid to share your tears. Talk openly with family members and friends. Don't try to "protect" other family members by hiding your sadness: it helps them as much as it does you. Express your anger if you are feeling it. This is the time to lean on friends. They may feel awkward for a while because they don't know how to talk to you about your loss. But you can help them help you by simply telling them what you need.

Know that Time Heals
Finally, remember that as time goes on, your grief will diminish. This does not mean you will forget your pet; it means you accept the death. But he or she will still be part of your life. Even though your relationship with your pet has changed forever, its existence and your feelings live on forever.

Throughout this year we will send you monthly grief newsletters. We hope these newsletters will help support you on your grief journey and help you to begin to process your grief.

If at any time you have questions or need some help, do not hesitate to reach out to our funeral home. We will be happy to help connect you with resources you may need.

Grief: A Time to Heal - Loss of Parent or Grandparent

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 16:20:44 GMT

You have just lost a parent or grandparent. As you struggle to accept this difficult loss, you may find yourself consumed by pain, fear, and grief. Throughout this year we will send you biweekly grief newsletters. We hope these newsletters will help support you on your grief journey and help you to begin to process your grief.

You have just lost a parent or grandparent. As you struggle to accept this difficult loss, you may find yourself consumed by pain, fear, and grief.

Grief is a natural response to losing someone who was important to you. Grief hurts, but it is necessary. When a death tears your world apart, grieving is the process that helps put it back together.

While grief is natural, it is also highly individual. How a person grieves depends on several factors. Your relationship with the person who died will certainly influence your grief, but so will your age, sex, religion, and previous experiences with death. The age of the person and the circumstances of death will also affect the intensity of your grief. In short, no one can tell you exactly how you will, or should, experience grief.

Reactions to Death
Certain reactions to the death of a loved one are quite common and you can expect to experience some of them. You may go into shock. If the death was unexpected, you may even find yourself denying at first that the person has died. "You feel numb, you feel like a spectator watching what's going on," explains Dr. Earl Grollman, noted author of books on death, dying and bereavement. Grollman says this response is nature's way of protecting you, of insulating you from what is happening.

Anger
Another immediate reaction to a death is anger. You may feel anger toward the doctors or nurses who couldn't save your loved one, toward the funeral director and toward God. You may even feel anger toward your loved one for leaving you. Unfortunately, most of us were taught as children that anger is something to be avoided; you may, therefore, feel guilty when your anger will not go away.

Depression

You may also feel helpless and childlike. When you lose someone close, you also experience "secondary losses" that accrue because of the death. When you lose a parent or grandparent, you lose out on many experiences would have had together. You will likely have to make decisions that you weren’t responsible for before. These secondary losses can leave you feeling confused and panicky. For this reason, you should avoid making any major decisions. Try to postpone them until you can think more clearly and have a better idea of how your life is going to change.

Preoccupation
Another common reaction among grievers is preoccupation with the person who died. You may think about him or her constantly, re-create the circumstances of the death over and over in your mind, have dreams or nightmares about the person-you may even think you see or hear the deceased. Many people are surprised and frightened by the intensity of these reactions, but it's important to realize that, bizarre as they may seem, these reactions are normal.

The mental strain of grief can take a physical toll as well. It's not unusual for the bereaved to lose weight, have trouble sleeping, become irritable or listless, or feel short of breath.

Both before and after the funeral, it is important that you express your feelings. Take time to cry and don't be afraid to share your tears with other mourners. Talk openly with family members and friends. Don't try to "protect" other family members by hiding your sadness: it helps them as much as it does you. Express your anger if you are feeling it. This is the time to lean on friends. They may feel awkward for a while because they don't know how to talk to you about your loss. But you can help them help you by simply telling them what you need.

Know that Time Heals
Finally, remember that as time goes on, your grief will diminish. This does not mean you will forget your loved one; it means you accept the death. But he or she will still be part of your life. Even though your relationship with your parent or grandparent has changed forever, its existence and your feelings live on forever.

Throughout this year we will send you biweekly grief newsletters. We hope these newsletters will help support you on your grief journey and help you to begin to process your grief.

If at any time you have questions or need some help, do not hesitate to reach out to our funeral home. We will be happy to help connect you with resources you may need.

Coping With the Death of a Parent

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 16:14:06 GMT

We're never really ready to say goodbye to people who play such an important role in our lives.

Losing a parent is an incredibly difficult experience, one that evokes a mix of emotions including pain, fear, and deep sadness. Grief, the natural and necessary process of saying goodbye, becomes the pathway to untangling the emotional bonds formed with our departed loved ones.

The grieving process varies from person to person, influenced by factors such as our relationship with our parent, age, previous encounters with death, and religious beliefs. Whether their passing was sudden or the culmination of a long illness, each individual's grief journey is unique, and no one can predict how it will unfold.

There are common reactions to the death of a loved one that we may experience. Initially, shock may set in, leading us to deny the reality of their passing. It's not uncommon to say, "No, they made a mistake. My parent is okay." This initial shock can gradually give way to numbness, creating a sense of detachment from the situation as if it were unfolding in a movie. Remember, these reactions are natural and serve as a buffer, allowing us to gradually come to terms with the truth.

During the grieving process, emotions such as anger and guilt may arise. We may find ourselves directing anger towards healthcare professionals, the funeral director, or even at God. If we believe that our parent's death was preventable, we might experience anger towards them and subsequently feel guilty for harboring such emotions. Guilt may also manifest due to unresolved arguments or unfulfilled wishes, even for seemingly trivial things like missing a dinner invitation. It's important to recognize that these feelings are a normal part of the grieving process.

The mental and emotional impact of grief can take a toll on our physical well-being. Weight loss, sleep disturbances, irritability, listlessness, and even hair loss are not uncommon during this time. Additionally, as the initial shock subsides, we may experience secondary losses. These losses extend beyond the death of our parent and encompass the role they played in our lives as advisors, role models, and friends. The family home, once a gathering place for reunions, may now feel emptier. These secondary losses can intensify feelings of loneliness and longing for our parent's presence.

If we have children of our own, another challenging task awaits: telling them about the death of their grandparent. It is important to provide age-appropriate and honest explanations, avoiding misleading euphemisms that may cause confusion or fear. Children look to us for cues on how to navigate their own grief, so allowing them to witness our own grief and including them in the mourning process can be beneficial for their own healing.

Overcoming the challenges of parental loss requires recognizing that grief is a necessary process with no shortcuts. Ventilating our feelings, whether through tears or open conversations with family and friends, is vital. It's important to reach out for support and let others know what we need during this time. Creating space for quiet reflection, lightening our schedules, and discussing memories with our surviving parent can aid in our healing journey.

If we find ourselves struggling to handle our grief, seeking professional help can be beneficial. There is no set timetable for grief, and it can be difficult to discern when professional support is needed. If concerns arise, reaching out to a counselor recommended by a funeral director, clergyperson, or doctor can provide guidance and reassurance that our reactions are normal.

Remember, the path to healing is unique for each individual. By embracing the grieving process, seeking support, and allowing ourselves to navigate the complexities of our emotions, we can gradually find solace and begin to rebuild our lives while cherishing the memories of our beloved parents.

Grief: A Time to Heal - Loss of Parent or Grandparent from Suicide

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 16:11:25 GMT

Your parent or grandparent has died from suicide. As you struggle to accept this difficult loss, you may find yourself consumed by pain, fear, grief and intense guilt. Throughout this year we will send you biweekly grief newsletters. We hope these newsletters will help support you on your grief journey and help you to begin to process your grief.

Your parent or grandparent has died from suicide. As you struggle to accept this difficult loss, you may find yourself consumed by pain, fear, grief and intense guilt.

Grief is a natural response to losing someone who was important to you. Grief hurts, but it is necessary. When a death tears your world apart, grieving is the process that helps put it back together.

Anger
Another immediate reaction to a death is anger. You may feel anger toward the doctors or nurses who couldn't save your loved one, toward the funeral director and toward God. You may even feel anger toward your parent or grandparent for leaving you. Unfortunately, most of us were taught as children that anger is something to be avoided; you may therefore feel guilty when your anger will not go away.

Guilt
Survivors of suicide (those who are left behind to mourn the loss) typically feel intense guilt. It is common for survivors to believe they somehow should have prevented the death. There may be a tendency to dwell on an argument you had with your parent or grandparent or any number of other events you think may have contributed to their death. However, research shows that there is not just one single factor that leads someone to dies by suicide, typically it is a combination of things ranging from health issues (mental or physical) to going through big life changes. And even though you may look back and see warning signs, it’s important to know that even mental health experts have difficulty identifying the warning signs. Most importantly, though, remember that you are not at fault, even if you feel like you should have known.

Depression

You may also feel helpless and childlike. When you lose someone close, you also experience "secondary losses" that accrue because of the death. When you lose a parent or grandparent, you lose out on the experiences you would have had together. You may find you have new responsibilities. These secondary losses can leave you feeling confused and panicky. For this reason, you should avoid making any major decisions. Try to postpone them until you can think more clearly and have a better idea of how your life is going to change.

Preoccupation
Another common reaction among grievers is preoccupation with the person who died. You may think about him or her constantly, re-create the circumstances of the death over and over in your mind, have dreams or nightmares about the person-you may even think you see or hear the deceased. Many people are surprised and frightened by the intensity of these reactions, but it's important to realize that, bizarre as they may seem, these reactions are normal.

The mental strain of grief can take a physical toll as well. It's not unusual for the bereaved to lose weight, have trouble sleeping, become irritable or listless, or feel short of breath.

Know that Time Heals
Finally, remember that as time goes on, your grief will diminish. Even though you may not feel like you will survive this, you can. This does not mean you will forget your parent or grandparent; it means you accept the death. But he or she will still be part of your life. Even though your relationship with your parent or grandparent has changed forever, its existence and your feelings live on forever.

Throughout this year we will send you biweekly grief newsletters. We hope these newsletters will help support you on your grief journey and help you to begin to process your grief.

If at any time you have questions or need some help, do not hesitate to reach out to our funeral home. We will be happy to help connect you with resources you may need.

If you ever need immediate help, you can call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 for free and confidential support 24/7.

Suicide and Complicated Grief

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 16:07:06 GMT

Grief is the universal reaction to the loss of a loved one. Some people, however, find themselves unable to move on from their grief. Instead, their grief turns into a very prolonged, unresolved, and traumatic form of grief called complicated grief.

Grief is the universal reaction to the loss of a loved one.

When a loved one passes away, most people feel acute grief , which is the initial painful grief.

After that, this grief turns into integrated grief , which is an ongoing form of grief but also the period when people start to heal. While this time period is challenging, when it starts to abate most people find themselves finding new strength and wisdom within themselves.

Some people, however, find themselves unable to move on from their grief. Instead, their grief turns into a very prolonged, unresolved, and traumatic form of grief called complicated grief . With complicated grief, feelings of longing don’t go away with time. Your pain stays fresh and you don’t start to heal. It might be said that someone with complicated grief feels "stuck in time.” This is the type of grief that interferes with life and daily activities. This type of grief can also lead to pain so intense that someone may feel like the only possible relief is their own death.

Survivors of suicide (those left behind to mourn the loss) are very likely to feel complicated grief. This is because of the effects of trauma and stigma. Survivors of suicide are more likely to feel emotions such as rejection, blame, and shame compared to other causes of death. It is very common for survivors of suicide to get caught up by feelings that they should have known or should have done something differently to prevent the suicide. It can also be hard to find someone to share your feelings with because you fear judgment and most other people are unlikely to understand what you are going through.

If you find yourself or a loved one experiencing complicated grief know that this is not something that will go away on its own.

One of the most important things you can do if you find yourself feeling complicated grief is to get help. If you can’t talk to a trusted friend or family member, find a support group, doctor or counselor you can talk to who will help you process your grief and find the resources you need.

Here are some other resources:

National Suicide Prevention Hotline – confidential 24/7 support

1-800-273-8255

https://www.suicidepreventionlifeling.org

Veterans Crisis Line – call, chat or text for 24/7 help

1-800-273-8255 EXT 1

https://www.veteranscrisisline.net/get-help/hotline

SAVE: Suicide Awareness Voices of Education – resources and education for survivors

https://www.save.org

How to Take Care of Yourself When a Loved One Dies by Suicide

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 15:59:18 GMT

Here are some tips for taking care of yourself when a loved one dies by suicide.

The grief felt when a loved one dies by suicide is complicated. Coping with these feelings of loss and grief is very difficult.

If you’re grieving the loss of a loved one due to suicide, it is important to take extra care of yourself.

Here are some tips for taking care of yourself when a loved one dies by suicide.

Find someone to talk to. It can be very hard for survivors to find someone to talk about their feelings with because there is often a lot of stigma and misunderstanding around suicide. If you can’t talk openly with friends or family, find a local support group, doctor, counselor, or religious leader to speak with.
Know that it’s not going to be easy. Grief is never easy, but suicide almost always leads to complicated grief. This means that feelings of sadness and loss are extremely intense and can be very debilitating. It may take longer for you to start to heal.
Find ways to honor the life of the person who has died. Don’t focus as much on their death but try to focus on their life. Review pictures and mementos, make a memory box, spend time at their favorite spots, or cook their favorite food.
Develop a resource list of people to call when times get tough . Know that you may have suicidal thoughts yourself and that this is very common. Have a list of trusted people to call when you need help.
Be kind to yourself. Eat healthy food, exercise, allow yourself time to do only what is essential, or spend time in nature.
Educate yourself. When you are ready, collect information about suicide. Read books about surviving suicide.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help. It is always okay to reach out, no matter the day or time. No matter what you are feeling, someone else has felt that way before too. If you can’t talk to friends, family, or other support people reach out to one of the organizations below who can help connect you with support.

Here are some other resources:

National Suicide Prevention Hotline – confidential 24/7 support

1-800-273-8255

https://www.suicidepreventionlifeling.org

Veterans Crisis Line – call, chat or text for 24/7 help

1-800-273-8255 EXT 1

https://www.veteranscrisisline.net/get-help/hotline

SAVE: Suicide Awareness Voices of Education – resources and education for survivors

https://www.save.org

Trying to Understand Suicide

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 15:54:18 GMT

One question that many people get after a loved one dies by suicide is "why?” It will likely be a question you ask yourself and it may even be one that friends and family ask you. The problem with this question is that it assumes there is just one reason.

The truth is, however, that there isn’t likely to be just one reason. There are usually multiple risk factors that put someone at risk for suicide. These include things like:

Having a chronic health condition
Going through a big life transition
Access to lethal means
Exposure to suicide in the news or the community
Personal history including genetics, traumatic events, and cultural beliefs

One thing most people who die by suicide have in common, though, is that they are caught in an intense orbit of despair. They feel like they have no other way out. They are in pain, just like someone who has terminal cancer is in pain.

It’s not just a simple choice that someone makes.

You are likely to feel an intense amount of guilt, confusion, shame, and anger if a loved one commits suicide and it can be hard to deal with this. It’s important to know that many people who die by suicide never told anyone that they were thinking about it. And you should not blame yourself or feel like you should have known what your loved one was planning. Even mental health experts struggle to identify the warning signs.

When sharing information about the passing of your loved one, remember that you can choose what details you disclose. And you do not have to say more than you are comfortable with. In fact, you may choose to not disclose any details of their passing, and that is fine.

If you do choose to share the circumstances it is ok to tell people, "He took his own life, but I am not ready to talk about the details at this time. Thank you for your support.”

If friends and family ask you "why” it’s ok to say you don’t know and you would rather not discuss it. You may find it helpful to communicate this to friends and family before they even ask.

Most importantly, though, remember that you are not at fault, even if you feel like you should have known. If you find yourself struggling with your grief, do not be afraid to seek professional help.

Here are some other resources:

National Suicide Prevention Hotline – confidential 24/7 support

1-800-273-8255

https://www.suicidepreventionlifeling.org

Veterans Crisis Line – call, chat or text for 24/7 help

1-800-273-8255 EXT 1

https://www.veteranscrisisline.net/get-help/hotline

SAVE: Suicide Awareness Voices of Education – resources and education for survivors

https://www.save.org

Let Grief Serve as a New Chapter

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 15:49:01 GMT

When you lose somebody close to you, it can feel like a chapter in your life has come to an end. In a lot of ways that may be true, but just because you've reached the end of something doesn't mean you can't also find a new beginning.

When you lose somebody close to you, it can feel like a chapter in your life has come to an end. In a lot of ways that may be true, but just because you’ve reached the end of something doesn’t mean you can’t also find a new beginning. Indeed, one helpful way to navigate loss is to view it as the start of the next part of your life and to seize the opportunity to make some personal changes.

These changes don’t have to be drastic—and in fact, they shouldn’t be, at least not at first. It’s generally advised not to make significant life decisions when in the midst of grieving. Avoid things like moving across the country or selling all of your possessions.

Here are some ideas on some new changes you could try:

Take up a new hobby. Maybe you’ve always wanted to paint, to play the guitar, or to be a photographer. There’s no time like the present to sign up for some classes and to dive into a new passion. This doesn’t mean forgetting about your old life; it just means seizing the opportunities that lay before you for new endeavors.
Reconnect with old friends . Use this time to reach out to people you haven't spoken with in a while and rekindle those friendships. They can help provide you with some support.
Do some traveling. Use this time to go wherever you've always wanted to go. You might travel with a friend, family member, or even go solo.
Write your Great American Novel . Or whatever else you’ve always toyed with.

Even in grief, you’ll still find opportunities to learn, grow, and surprise yourself. These things won’t remove your pain, and they aren’t meant to. What they can do is enrich your life and add some grace notes to the bereavement process.

Grief feels like an ending—but it can also be a new beginning. Consider some ways in which you can start writing your new chapter.

When People Say the Wrong Thing

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 15:45:49 GMT

Following a loss, you will find that many well-meaning people say things that are meant to be comforting but are actually very hurtful.

They want to establish closeness. Often people say things like "I know what you're going through" or "I know how you feel." Phrases like this can feel like the person is turning the conversation back to themselves. Or perhaps you think, "No, my situation is totally different. You have NO idea how I feel." However, people often use these statements to show support and let you know you are not alone.
They may be uncomfortable with grief. Unfortunately, our society does not talk much about death and grief. As a result, many people don't know what to say to someone who is grieving. Instead, they fall back on common cliches when speaking to the griever.
They want to comfort you. Following your loss, those who love you will want to try to help. It's not that they don't want you to grieve, they simply see you hurting and want to find a way to help you "feel better." As a result, they may say things like "At least she lived a good long life." They don’t understand that there isn't anything they can do to take away your pain.

Here are some tips on how to handle the insensitive comments.

Ask yourself what the person was trying to say. In most cases, friends and family members are trying to be helpful. They do not mean to hurt you with their words.
Try to understand why the comment hurt. Typically, comments made by others hurt because they invalidate or trivialize your grief. In other cases, the comments may go against your own belief system.
Think of a response. You may not be able to respond in the moment, but you can replay the conversation and think of a response later. This may help if you hear a similar comment in the future. It can also help you to reaffirm your own grief and validate your feelings. For example, if someone says, "at least your mother is in a better place" you can respond "It doesn’t matter where she is, no matter what I will never stop missing her."
Trust your instincts. Everyone grieves differently. Sometimes people will say things like "it's time to move on" or that you should start getting rid of your loved one's belongings. You alone know how you should be grieving. Don’t feel like you must follow anyone else's timetable.
Give yourself time and space. Don’t rush into anything that doesn't feel right. While you want to make sure you don't become isolated, if you need to take some extra time to be alone, that's fine. It's OK to skip social events or leave them early if you don't feel up to attending.

Grief Without Guilt: It's Not Your Fault

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 15:41:26 GMT

Grief carries with it a multitude of conflicting emotions - and one of the most overpowering is the feeling of guilt.

Grief carries with it a multitude of conflicting emotions - and one of the most overpowering is the feeling of guilt. Those who have lost a loved one often find themselves struggling with the idea that their loss is somehow their own fault - that there’s something they could have said or done to prevent their loved one from dying.

Sometimes, feelings of grief can be situated in something real. All of us make mistakes, and we can say or do things that hurt the people we love. The feelings of guilt you experience during the mourning process may stem from a memory of mistakes you made in the past.

Just as often, though, feelings of guilt are less rational: As you grieve, you may talk yourself into the notion that you could have been there for your loved one or could have helped them receive a different kind of medical care.

The bottom line is that guilt and grief go hand in hand - but what can you do about it?

The first step is simply acknowledging the way you feel; guilt is an emotion, and the best way to handle any emotion is to first validate it.

Consider what your guilt is really about. Reflect on the idea that we all crave order, and your guilt may simply be a subconscious way to make some sense of your loved one’s death.

Find someone you can talk to about your feelings of guilt; this may be a close friend or it may be a therapist.

As you think, talk, and process, work your way toward a place of self-forgiveness.

If your guilt is irrational, you will hopefully have people in your life who will tell you so, encouraging you to move on. And if it’s based in something real, you can seek a place where you either make amends or discover a new perspective - learning and growing from your painful experience.

Lessening the Burden of Grief by Giving Back

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 15:38:13 GMT

Grief can feel like a massive burden to bear - and all too often, it's a burden we feel like we're bearing alone. One way to ease this burden, and to feel less isolated, is to get involved in community service.

Grief can feel like a massive burden to bear—and all too often, it’s a burden we feel like we’re bearing alone. One way to ease this burden, and to feel less isolated, is to get involved in community service.

This can be as small-scale or as ambitious as you want it to be. Maybe it’s as simple as volunteering to read to kids at an after-school program, or helping sort through donated items at the Salvation Army. Or maybe it’s something as grand as helping build a Habitat for Humanity house, or taking on a more full-time volunteer position.

What’s important is finding a cause that you’ll find meaningful—and ideally, a cause that will allow you to spend some time serving other people.

Giving back can help the grieving process in a number of ways. For one, it allows you to do something practical and concrete to make the world just a little bit brighter. That can be a powerful counterbalance to the darkness you may be experiencing inside.

Also, community service helps you to see the needs of other people, and to remember that a lot of people are hurting and struggling in different ways. This isn’t meant to diminish your own pain in the least, but rather to put it into context.

Finally, giving back can give you a sense of purpose—a reason to get up and keep going, even amidst bereavement. For many mourners, that sense of drive can be invaluable and therapeutic.

As you think about the best ways to lessen your grief burden, think about methods in which you can give back to the people around you.

Grieve the Way YOU Want To

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 15:29:42 GMT

Grieving the loss of a loved one is always hard and we make it harder with the expectations we place on ourselves.

Grieving the loss of a loved one is always hard - and we make it harder with the expectations we place on ourselves. All too often, people who are in grieving fear that there is a "right" way to process their emotions. Then, they kick themselves when they fall short of that standard. The grief journey is made exponentially more grueling by this sense of failure - the idea that you're somehow not measuring up.

The first thing you should know about grief is that there's no one right way to do it. All of us express emotions differently. That has everything to do with the way our brains are wired, and nothing to do with how much we do or don't love the person who passed.

For example, some people may cry throughout the grieving process, while others don't shed a single tear. Both are completely acceptable ways of dealing with bereavement. Similarly, some may want to be surrounded by friends, never to be left alone, while others may crave solitude. Again, both approaches are reasonable and natural.

One caveat to this: There's no "right way" of dealing with grief, but it's important to ensure that your bereavement doesn't compromise your physical health, either because you stop eating, stop sleeping, or fall into self-medication. Additionally, dealing with grief means allowing yourself to feel and experience it. Trying to ignore your grief, or to bottle it up in some way, can ultimately be self-destructive.

Take care of yourself, and channel your heartache through positive means - but don't let anyone make you feel like your expression of grief is inadequate. That's not going to accomplish anything but making your bereavement more difficult.

Grief: A Time to Heal - Loss of a Loved One

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 15:25:58 GMT

Someone close to you has died. As you struggle to accept this difficult loss, you may find yourself consumed by pain, fear, and grief. Throughout this year we will send you biweekly grief newsletters. We hope these newsletters will help support you on your grief journey and help you to begin to process your grief.

Someone close to you has died. As you struggle to accept this difficult loss, you may find yourself consumed by pain, fear, and grief.

Grief is a natural response to losing someone who was important to you. Grief hurts, but it is necessary. When a death tears your world apart, grieving is the process that helps put it back together.

While grief is natural, it is also highly individual. How a person grieves depends on several factors. Your relationship with the person who died will certainly influence your grief, but so will your age, sex, religion, and previous experiences with death. The age of the deceased and the circumstances of death will also affect the intensity of your grief. In short, no one can tell you exactly how you will, or should, experience grief.

Reactions to Death
Certain reactions to the death of a loved one are quite common, and you can expect to experience some of them. You may go into shock. If the death was unexpected, you may even find yourself denying at first that the person has died. "You feel numb, you feel like a spectator watching what's going on," explains Dr. Earl Grollman, noted author of books on death, dying and bereavement. Grollman says this response is nature's way of protecting you, of insulating you from what is happening.

Anger
Another immediate reaction to a death is anger. You may feel anger toward the doctors or nurses who couldn't save your loved one, toward the funeral director and toward God. You may even feel anger toward the deceased person for leaving you. Unfortunately, most of us were taught as children that anger is something to be avoided; you may therefore feel guilty when your anger will not go away.

Guilt
In fact, you could find yourself feeling guilty for several reasons. It is common for a bereaved person to feel guilty simply for being alive when someone else has died. You may believe you somehow should have prevented the death or should have been present to say goodbye. There may be a tendency to dwell on an argument you had with the deceased.

You may also feel helpless and childlike. When you lose someone close, you also experience "secondary losses" that accrue because of the death. You may lose out on experiences you would have had with that person. You may have lost your closest confidant or someone who helped you make tough decisions. You may find yourself with new responsibilities. These secondary losses can leave you feeling confused and panicky. For this reason, you should avoid making any major decisions; try to postpone them until you can think more clearly and have a better idea of how your life is going to change.

Preoccupation
Another common reaction among grievers is preoccupation with the person who died. You may think about him or her constantly, re-create the circumstances of the death over and over in your mind, have dreams or nightmares about the person-you may even think you see or hear the deceased. Many people are surprised and frightened by the intensity of these reactions, but it's important to realize that, bizarre as they may seem, these reactions are normal.

The mental strain of grief can take a physical toll as well. It's not unusual for the bereaved to lose weight, have trouble sleeping, become irritable or listless, or feel short of breath.

Both before and after the funeral, it is important that you express your feelings. Take time to cry and don't be afraid to share your tears with other mourners. Talk openly with family members and friends. Don't try to "protect" other family members by hiding your sadness: it helps them as much as it does you. Express your anger if you are feeling it. This is the time to lean on friends. They may feel awkward for a while because they don't know how to talk to you about your loss. But you can help them help you by simply telling them what you need.

Know that Time Heals
Finally, remember that as time goes on, your grief will diminish. This does not mean you will forget your loved one; it means you accept the death and can no longer enjoy the deceased person's physical presence. But he or she will still be part of your life. Even though your relationship with your loved one has changed forever, its existence and your feelings live on forever.

Throughout this year we will send you biweekly grief newsletters. We hope these newsletters will help support you on your grief journey and help you to begin to process your grief.

If at any time you have questions or need some help, do not hesitate to reach out to our funeral home. We will be happy to help connect you with resources you may need.

Grief and Secondary Loss

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 15:17:15 GMT

When someone experiences the loss of a spouse, they will not only feel grief at the loss of the person but will likely also feel grief and confusion due to the many changes that occur in their lives.

When someone experiences the loss of a spouse, they will feel initial grief at the loss of the person themselves. However, they will likely also find that they feel grief and confusion due to the many changes that occur in their lives.

Psychologist Dr. Therese Rando explains that when you lose a spouse, you also experience "secondary losses" that accrue because of the death.

You may have depended on your spouse to make financial decisions, get the car fixed, keep the house in good repair, cook, clean, or manage the household. Now you find you are responsible for those tasks and find them difficult to complete. As the reality of death sinks in, it is common for a bereaved spouse to slip into depression and to feel helpless.

The extent of those secondary losses depends partly on your age. Younger couples increasingly depend on two paychecks to maintain the household. The death of one spouse can leave the other in a tight financial situation. Younger couples are also likely to have children at home and depend on each other to share the child-rearing duties.

Perhaps the most difficult secondary loss to accept is suddenly being without your primary companion. You have grown accustomed to living a certain lifestyle and engaging in favorite activities with your spouse. You have grown used to being the object of your spouse's love. As Dr. Rando says, a woman who is widowed, for example, "didn't just lose her husband, she lost a friend, a confidant, someone with whom to take vacations." The same goes for a husband that has lost his wife.

The death of your spouse can also change the relationship you had with mutual friends. If you were used to socializing with friends as a couple, those same friends may have a difficult time interacting with you as an individual. You may begin to feel like the "fifth wheel."

Losing such an important companion can leave you feeling confused and panicky. For this reason, you should delay, if possible, making any major decisions. Try to postpone them until you can think more clearly and have a better idea of how your life is going to change.

Always remember that grief is normal. But if you find yourself feeling completely overwhelmed and feel that you are not coping well, you may consider talking to a counselor.

Coping with Grief in the Summer

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 15:14:23 GMT

As the summer sun shines, it's important to acknowledge that grief knows no season. If you're navigating loss, remember it's okay to take breaks, seek support, and honor your emotions. Embrace healing at your own pace and find solace in the beauty of memories.

Summertime can be a wonderful time. But if you have recently lost a loved one, it can also be a difficult time. The summer season can be made even harder when you see lots of other people outdoors having fun. You may not feel like celebrating and you may even feel guilty about your own happiness.

Here are some tips to help deal with grief in the summer:

Give yourself time. If this is the first summer without your loved one, it can be tempting to try to push yourself back into the activities you used to enjoy. Summer months can be busy, but make sure to give yourself time and space to grieve as well.

Try out things you used to enjoy . You may find these things are too painful at first, especially if they were activities you enjoyed with your loved one. However, if you give them a try, you may also find you still enjoy them.

Go outside if possible. A dose of some sunshine and Vitamin D can help you cope with stress.

Try a new activity or tradition that honors your loved one . Find a way to dedicate some time to remembering your loved one in a purposeful way. You might plan a special picnic at a spot your loved one always enjoyed visiting or plan a vacation to a spot that was important to them.

Remember that it still ok to have fun . If you have experienced a loss you may feel like you will never be able to laugh or have fun again. When you do find yourself having a good time you may feel guilty, like you are dishonoring your loved one. But know that it is ok to find joy and be happy. It may help to do things that bring up happy memories of your loved one, such as swimming or going for a walk on the beach.

Get help if you are still struggling. If you find that you can’t shake your feelings of sadness at all or start to feel overwhelmed, don’t be afraid to seek out a counselor or support group to help you out. You can also seek out online options if you choose.

Loneliness & Grief

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 15:08:47 GMT

There are many reasons why you may feel lonely following the loss of a loved one. When a loved one dies, a hole is left behind that no one else can fill.

There are many reasons why you may feel lonely following the loss of a loved one. When a loved one dies, a hole is left behind that no one else can fill. You will miss your loved one’s companionship, voice, or even their smell. Now that your loved one is gone, a piece of you is gone too.

Even though there may be others who are grieving with you and experiencing the same loss, your feelings of loneliness are unique. That is because your relationship with your loved one is unique. And your own social needs are also unique.

Here are some other common feelings associated with loneliness:

Feelings of isolation. Following the loss of a loved one it is common to want to be alone. It can be hard to socialize with others when you are grieving. Unfortunately, this can also lead to feelings of isolation, which can make you feel even lonelier.

Feelings of abandonment. It is also common to feel abandoned by your loved one. Grievers may feel left behind or deserted and ask questions like, "How could she have done this to me?” However, it is important to keep in mind that death is something that we can’t control and your loved one didn’t leave you on purpose.

Feeling alone in a crowd. One thing you may notice is how you can feel lonely, even if you are in a group of people. While you are grieving, everyone else is going on with their own lives. Feeling so different from everyone else can make you feel lonely.

The loneliness of grief is difficult to solve. But one thing to know about loneliness is that you can break out of it. When you are ready, reach out to those around you. Accepting help and love from those around you does not mean that you are forgetting your loved one.

Share your feelings with a trusted friend or family member. If you don’t have a friend or family member to talk to, consider joining a grief support group or talking to a counselor or therapist. Know that you do not have to travel on your grief journey alone.

Moving Forward in Your Journey of Loss and Grief: The Second Year

Mon, 18 Mar 2024 15:02:58 GMT

Here are some things to expect in the second year of your grief journey.

Our society tends to place a lot of emphasis on the "firsts” associated with grief. The first holidays without your loved one, the first birthday they aren’t present for, the first vacation you take without your loved one, and so on. It can almost feel like, after that first year is over, you should be healed and ready to return to life as if everything is back to normal.

However, those who are in the middle of their own grief journey will quickly realize that this isn’t the case. Grief has no timetable; it takes as long as it takes for your healing to start. And even once you start to heal, you will continue to have times when your grief hits you fast and hard for a long time – perhaps for years. Just because you have overcome the hurdles of the first year, there is no guarantee that this will make it any easier to accept your loss. Know that it is completely normal to continue to feel grief from your loss in your second year.

Here are some things to expect in the second year of your grief journey.

Your New Identity

By now, you have been living with your new identity for some time. You may be more acutely aware of how your world has changed from the before to the present. You may also be more mindful of how you yourself have changed.

Continuing Sadness

Even though you have encountered many milestones, your grief does not just end at that one-year mark. In fact, certain holidays and moments may be surprisingly more difficult the second time around. You may have had a lot of support around you the first time and now it can feel like others have moved on and you are alone in your grief and longing.

Set Realistic Expectations

What happens when you go to a movie or on a vacation, expecting it to be wonderful, and it turns out it’s terrible? You probably feel very let down. In fact, you probably feel even more let down if you hadn’t expected it to be so good. The same thing can happen with the second year of grief. This is why it’s important to set realistic expectations for yourself. Don’t compare yourself or your grief to others who have had a loss.

Continue to Reach Out

If you need support, ask for it. It’s not likely that your friends and family have forgotten your loss, or even that think you should be "over it.” It’s more likely that they don’t know how you are feeling and simply don’t know what type of support you need. Instead, tell friends and family how you are feeling. If you know an upcoming holiday or milestone is going to be a tough time, ask for extra help. Chances are most people will be more than happy to be there for you.

Seek Outside Support if Necessary

If you find yourself feeling depressed or too sad to do things you used to enjoy, or if you feel like you are alone and have no one to talk to about your grief, consider joining a grief support group or getting some grief counseling. Some guidance from an outside person or group can sometimes be very helpful.

Remember That Healing Does NOT Equal Forgetting

Love endures even after death. Your loved one is still, and will always be, a major part of your life and your identity. Just because you may be starting to heal does not mean in any way that you are forgetting your loved one or their legacy. If you want to do something concrete to help keep your loved one’s memory alive, consider making something like a memory box or a photo album. Or come up with a special tribute to go along with holidays or milestones such as reading a poem, lighting a candle, or visiting their gravesite.

Though your journey isn't ending, know that you can and will continue to heal and grow as time goes on. Continue to reach out when you need support and give yourself permission to live fully.

Grief and Mixed Memories

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 20:59:51 GMT

When a loved one passes away, the relationship you had with that person affects your grief.

Relationships are not perfect, and even good relationships have their ups and downs. Grief can be made even more difficult if you had a strained relationship with your loved one. For example, the last few years of a marriage may have been more challenging due to the added responsibilities of caregiving. Parents and children may have had a conflicted relationship. Even though you loved someone, it certainly doesn’t mean that you were always happy with them.

A strained relationship can lead to more challenges in processing your grief. You may feel like you have unfinished business, things you wish you had said (or not said), or things you wish you had done differently. Grief can also bring up old memories that in turn can be difficult to manage.

Another issue is that friends and family may not know how to support you if they were aware of your strained relationship. They may not even understand why you are grieving the loss.

Or it’s possible that other people might not be aware of your strained relationship and in that case may not understand your conflicted emotions and difficulty grieving.

If you find yourself struggling with conflicting emotions, there are some strategies you can employ. You can write a letter to your loved one, expressing your thoughts and feelings that you didn’t get to say when they were alive. You can also try creating a memory box with mementos associated with positive memories. Or spend time with other loved ones telling stories about happier times.

If your memories are particularly painful and difficult to bear, consider grief support or counseling. It can be helpful to process your feelings with someone on the outside. No matter what, know that you do not need to go on your journey alone. Help is always available.

Six Strategies for Growing in Grief

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 20:51:23 GMT

The grief journey is a difficult one. But the good news is that you can use this experience to grow. Here are six ways to grow on your grief journey.

Recognize Your Own Strengths

This is likely not your first crisis or loss. Look back on other challenges you have faced and think about what strategies helped you then. Maybe it was having someone to talk to. Maybe it was your own resourcefulness. Your spirituality can also help you address your loss. It may be helpful to talk to those who share similar beliefs.

Focus on the Positive Bond

Even though your loved one is gone, it doesn’t mean they must be forgotten or replaced. They will never truly leave you. Instead, focus on your loved one’s legacy and the good memories you have. One way you can help keep their memory alive is by creating something like a photo album or memory box.

Change Negative Thought Patterns

It can be tempting to focus on negative things such as the tragedy of the loss of your loved one. However, it is possible to reframe the language surrounding your loss. Recognize when your negative thoughts are starting to take over and change your language. Focus on positive language such as the courage you are showing while you meet the challenges of loss.

Check in With Yourself

Take a purposeful look at your journey from time to time. Think about how you have changed. Ask yourself what new skills you have gained or what new insights you have developed. You might even want to keep a journal of your experience so you can see your progress.

Use Your Support Systems

The grief journey is a difficult one and you shouldn’t have to go on it alone. If friends or family offer support, take it. And don’t hesitate to reach out and ask for help. Sometimes people want to help, they just don’t know how. If you don’t have friends or family to support you, consider joining a grief support group.

Stay Hopeful

Know that your grief journey will have ups and downs. And your life will be forever changed. But you can still find joy and happiness again. Think about your future and where you would like to be, and then make small changes to help you reach your goal.

What Grief Looks Like

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 20:49:41 GMT

Today, we are going to discuss how grief can manifest for you or those you love. Grief takes on many different forms for different people and in different circumstances. These are just the few ways grief shows itself.

Grief takes on many different forms for different people and in different circumstances. These are just the few ways grief shows itself.

Apathy
For anyone who recently lost someone they were not close to, the grief associated with such a loss may be more apathetic than anything else. You or the person who recently experienced the loss may seem quiet, somewhat withdrawn and not seem particularly upset at all. They may seem like things are fine but it may simply be that they are processing the grief more internally. Just because they are not grieving outwardly does not mean they do not feel the pain of loss in their own way.

Anger
At times, grief manifests itself as anger. The bereaved may feel angry that their loved one has left them. They may feel anger towards those trying to help them; they may feel the efforts of their friends and family are not enough. They may even feel angry at themselves for failing their lost loved one even if there was nothing they could have done. When grief shows itself as anger, being patient is key. Just know that they likely don't mean the harsh things that they have said.

Relief/Joy
Sometimes, after a loved one has battled a long illness or has lived a full life, grief is tempered by a feeling of relief or even peace at the end of a loved one's suffering. Some religions even encourage comfort in the loss of a loved one. These faiths preach that death is not the end and a lost loved one is perpetually cared for without suffering in a better place. For some, the loss of a loved one is not a sad one, but a matter of comfort and joy at the end of physical suffering.

Grief does not always present itself as the sadness and crying that many think characterizes what loss looks like. There are some that don't shed a single tear during the bereavement process. Everyone grieves differently and knowing some of the ways grief shows itself can help you or those you love better work through their loss.

Dealing with Children and Grief

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 20:47:46 GMT

Coping with the death of a loved one or friend is not easy at any age, but it is especially difficult to help children process the complex emotions that come along with the loss of someone close to them. While each individual child and case is different, here are a few tips to help ease some of the sting of grief.

In children under the age of 8, it is important to help them understand death. Taking them to a wake or funeral service is a personal choice but even without attending a service, it is important to explain to them that the person who passed away is no longer with them. If your family is religious, it’s often a good time to say that the person who passed away is "with God” or "in Heaven”. Encourage them to cry if they feel sad but if they do not feel sad, don’t force them into being more emotional. Young children especially are not always emotional on the outside because they simply cannot process how complex such a loss can be.

For older children between 8 and 12, the rules for grief are a little different. Older children understand more than you think and are not always as ready to express their emotions. They may project their sadness and grief as anger or aloofness, as inattentiveness or insomnia. Encourage your child to write or journal. It will offer them a safe and mostly private space to express themselves. Occasionally ask to see that journal just in case those negative feelings are a little more than just grief over a lost loved one. Sometimes therapy is the best option for older children. Remind them that there is nothing wrong with seeing a professional. A therapist or grief counselor is there to help them.

There are also a myriad of resources available to help with children and grief. There are plenty of books on the subject both for the child and for parents. There are websites and blogs entirely dedicated to helping your child go through the grieving process.

Helping a child work through grief is vitally important to healing from the trauma of losing a loved one. We hope that these tips will help you and your family move through loss with grace.

The Firsts You Don't Expect

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 20:45:33 GMT

There are many "firsts" after losing a loved one that most people don't necessarily like to think about.

In our lifetimes we all have those special life changing moments, perhaps some with excitement and overwhelming joy. While some are met with heartbreak and tears.

We all anticipate a baby's first step, first words and first day of school. We anticipate graduation from High School and College.

We plan on the bigger things like buying your first car, the joy of a wedding and the pride of buying a new home.

What about the other "firsts" that most people don't necessarily like to think about? There are also many firsts after losing a loved one.

It's those "firsts" that can seem like a mountain that you will never reach the top of. The first night of sleeping in your home alone, the first month of paying the bills on your own and especially the first anniversary of your loved one's passing.

It is difficult sometimes to realize that some things will ever be the same after you lose a loved one. You may feel left out of your circle of friends because they may feel it will upset you to be around other couples. Unfortunately, they do not realize that their actions may actually be making you feel worse.

First, know that you are not alone; in fact, there are more people dealing with those "firsts" than you know.

Take a deep breath when you are having a "first" moment. Take a look outside and see the beauty of nature. It can be as simple as seeing a hummingbird or a dragonfly or a cloud formation. If you are so inclined: pray or meditate, turn over your grief and stress and sadness to a higher power.

Know that you are not alone in these feelings. There are so many others that are going through the same "firsts" with you. We are not just a funeral home, we are your extended family during your time of grief. Our website and office have several grief resources available to you and your family should you need them. If you need to talk about your experience, we are a phone call away.

Our staff is always here for you.

Differences in Grief and Depression

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 20:43:12 GMT

When you lose a loved one, there are a series of emotions that can go through your head and it may seem like those negative feelings may last forever. For many, their season of grief ends and they can return to normal life in time.

When you lose a loved one, there are a series of emotions that can go through your head and it seems like those negative feelings may last forever. For many, their season of grief ends and they can return to normal life. For some that grief takes root and stays longer, yet for others they have even more issues healing from the trauma of loss.

In this article, we're going to highlight terminology that sometimes gets used incorrectly. Grief is a feeling covering a wide variety of emotions that immediately follows the loss of a loved one. Chronic grief is a season of grief that continues on longer than is typically expected. Depression and depressive periods are periods of time where negative emotions begin to influence day to day life in unfavorable ways. Clinical depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain leading to symptoms that look a lot like grieving but extend far longer than normal. Clinical depression is a medical condition that can only be truly diagnosed by a trained therapist. It can be treated with therapy and prescription medication.

Often times, grief looks like depression from the outside looking in. The two conditions do share many similarities like sadness, lack of interest in things that the person would normally enjoy and feeling distant and withdrawn from others. The key differences between the two are mostly time and severity. Most grieve for up to a year but some do not need that much time. Anything past a year is often considered to be a depressive period or episode. Severity is also an indicator of difference. If at any point in time the symptoms go beyond just sadness and being withdrawn to thoughts or acts of self-harm, threats of violence or extreme mood swings, then this a more serious issue. Only a trained medical professional can properly diagnose depression.

Grief is not the same as depression and clinical depression is not grief. Can the loss of a loved one exacerbate the symptoms of depression? Yes. Can depression make grieving more severe? Yes. But the two are not the same and knowing the difference can help you and those around you better cope and move forward.

Defining Grief Vs. Mourning

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 20:39:24 GMT

The words grief and mourning are often used interchangeably even though they have different definitions. However, these words do not mean the same thing and knowing the difference can be very important to moving on from the loss of a loved one.

After a loved one dies, you are likely to feel a complex surge of emotion. And in that time of grief, you may hear two words that sound similar but have different meanings. The words "grief" and "mourning" are often used interchangeably even though they have different definitions. Knowing the difference between grief and mourning can be very important to the healing process following the loss of a loved one.

The term " grief " refers to the internal thoughts and emotions tied to the loss of a loved one. Grieving can include many feelings such as disappointment, anger, guilt, sadness, or loneliness. Since everyone experiences grief differently, there is no right or wrong way to feel.

" Mourning " on the other hand is the outward expression of grief. Mourning includes things like funeral services, visitations, and wakes, graveside visits and services, and other memorialization efforts. Mourning can also include things like crying, journaling, singing songs, or telling stories about your loved one.

Grief is feeling sad or upset at the mention of a lost loved one's name while mourning is holding a graveside visitation on the anniversary of a lost loved one.

Separating the two concepts can help make the grieving process a little easier. Mourning helps us contextualize grief. Mourning also gives you a way to work through the feelings associated with grief. A funeral or memorial service gives you an outlet to help you cope with grief. Grief may help you understand why you are emotional during a memorial service. Grief helps us move through loss.

Understanding the differences between grief and mourning can provide the tools needed to help work through your grief. When we have lost a loved one, most of us would prefer to ignore the feelings of grief. But research shows that doing so will only delay the healing process.

For many, mourning is enough to help them start to process those feelings and emotions and begin the healing process. However, for some, after something as painful and traumatic as losing a loved one occurs, more care is required. Our website and funeral home have resources available to help those who are coping with the loss of a loved one.

We are here for you ... lean on us in your time of grief.

The Shock of Loss

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 20:31:04 GMT

The passing of a loved one is hard to grasp. Even if you were prepared for your loved one's passing due to a long illness, the finality of death can still feel very sudden and shocking.

The passing of a loved one is hard to grasp. Even if you were prepared for your loved one’s passing due to a long illness, the finality of death can still feel very sudden and shocking.

You may think that you should be feeling the emotions typically associated with grief such as sadness, anger, regret, or loneliness – but instead, you may feel nothing at all. Others around you may also wonder why you aren’t crying or feeling intense emotions.

You may find yourself feeling numb. You may feel like you are detached from reality or that you are living in a dream. Interactions with others may feel blurred or hazy. This is because your body is in shock and this numbness is your body’s way of protecting itself from trauma.

The shock of loss can also affect you in other ways. For example, you may have trouble sleeping at night because you find yourself constantly thinking. Or you may even forget about your loss for periods of time until someone brings it up or asks how you are doing.

You may also feel physical symptoms associated with your shock such as headaches, stomach aches, heart palpitations, jumpiness, and exhaustion.

Know that all these experiences are perfectly normal. However, while you are in shock consider allowing others to help as much as possible.

Eventually, after a few days, weeks, or even months, those intense feelings of grief will begin to break through. It may happen when you least expect it.

In the meantime, recognize that shock is a natural part of the grieving process and that it doesn’t happen the same way for everyone. It’s also OK to tell friends and family members what you are feeling and going through at that very moment. Finding a trusted confidant to talk with can help you start to process your feelings.

Should I Attend Grief Therapy Gatherings?

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 20:27:11 GMT

Attending grief therapy gatherings can be beneficial as they provide support, understanding, and coping strategies from others experiencing similar loss.

Losing someone you love is incredibly hard, and it's important to find ways to cope that are both comforting and healthy for you. One path to explore is joining a grief support group. These groups are welcoming spaces where you can share your feelings openly and connect with others who understand what you're going through because they're going through it too.

There are many benefits to these groups. They create a sense of belonging and shared experience, which can be really comforting. It can be encouraging to meet others who are finding their way through their grief. It reminds us that, while our grief is deeply personal, we're not alone in it. These groups often lead to special friendships, giving you a support network of people who really understand what you're experiencing.

Another benefit is that you can pick up helpful ways to deal with day-to-day life after losing someone close to you. People often share how they manage their emotions, honor the memory of their loved ones, and find a bit of peace in tough times. Just talking about your own experiences and listening to others can be really healing. It helps you feel heard and understood.

For some, the idea of talking about their loss in front of new people can feel too overwhelming. It's important to trust your own feelings and go at your own pace. If a group adds more stress, there are other ways to find support that might be a better fit. Everyone's path through grief is different.

Grief is a journey that's unique to each person. There's no right or wrong way to do it. Whether you choose to join a group or find comfort in other ways, the main thing is to do what feels right for you. Remember, it's okay to experience a range of emotions and to take the time you need. You're not alone in this journey.

Comfort Foods During Times of Grief

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 20:18:02 GMT

Comfort Foods, Scientifically Proven During Times of Grief. People handle seasons of grief in different ways - and one area where you see that quite clearly is in their relationship to food.

People handle seasons of grief in different ways - and one area where you see that quite clearly is in their relationship to food.

When faced with a loss, some individuals essentially stop eating, needing to be reminded by their family members to get three healthy meals a day. This is a normal response to grief. However, the opposite scenario is just as common, and just as normal: Many of us turn to food to provide us with comfort, craving calories as a way of dealing with complicated emotions.

Believe it or not, the concept of "comfort food” comes with scientific backing. The important thing to know is that foods rich in fat content, sugar, or salt tend to stimulate the brain’s reward center; they can produce a temporary "high,” a temporary yet noteworthy elevation of mood.

That’s why, when you’re feeling down or depressed, it can be tempting to reach for a chocolate shake, a candy bar, or a bag of chips. These foods really do make you feel better, at least in the short term.

Of course, there are a couple of problems. One is that these foods are not especially healthy— and while there’s certainly nothing wrong with splurging every now and again, you don’t want to develop habits that will compromise your physical well-being.

Additionally, comfort food can become a tool for self-medication— and while it effectively minimizes feelings of sadness, it doesn’t offer a constructive way to cope or to heal. The worst-case scenario is that comfort foods take the place of more meaningful therapies, like talking about your grief with a close friend or with a counselor.

Keep all of this in mind as you reach for those comfort foods. You’re not wrong to think that they work— but that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re the best way to handle your grief.

Good Relief in Expressing Feelings

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 20:15:01 GMT

Too often, we think of grief as a negative thing. It's more accurate to say that grief is a positive and healthy way to process negative things. When you lose a loved one, it can have a disruptive impact on your emotional and mental health, leaving you feeling unmoored. Keeping those negative feelings bottled up will only make the problem worse. The grieving process is how that negativity can be properly channeled, articulated, and dealt with - paving the way for healing.

For this reason, the worst thing you can do during the grieving process is try to stifle your emotions or bottle your feelings. Attempting to "keep it to yourself" means those negative feelings churn and rage inside you, which can have a corrosive impact on your well-being.

It's okay if there are days or even seasons when you don't want to talk about the way you're feeling - but ultimately, grief is something that needs to be processed out loud, whether that means talking with a close friend, a therapist, or the members of a grief support group.

Additionally, remember that grief can have different stages - and that all of them can be good. Depression, denial, and anger can all be part of the grief journey. None of these emotions are particularly fun, but they can be helpful. Each one represents your mind trying to work out the sensation of loss.

Grieving is always tough, but it can also be productive - ultimately moving you into a healthier headspace. As you go through the good but hard process of grieving, remember to show yourself some patience and some grace.

How to Plan for Seasonal Grief

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 20:10:29 GMT

If you know that certain seasons are hard on you then you can prepare yourself to cope.

If you’ve ever lost a loved one, you know that grief can come in cycles. Certain events - your loved one’s birthday; an anniversary; a favorite holiday; a certain time of the year - can be all it takes to unleash a huge wave of grief.

You can’t always stop this wave from coming; if you know that certain seasons are hard on you, though, you can prepare yourself to cope.

One suggestion is to lean into your memories; rather than trying to suppress them, actively seek to honor and share them. For example, if your family is having a big holiday gathering, make your deceased loved one’s favorite dish for everyone to share, and invite loved ones to voice favorite memories.

Be proactive in taking care of yourself, physically and emotionally. Take some time to get outside and walk each day. Sunlight and fresh air can be good mood boosters. And, be sure to eat and sleep properly.

Express your feelings of intensified grief, even if it’s just by writing them down in a journal.

More than anything, avoid isolating yourself. Seek out the close friends and loved ones in whom you can confide. Don’t shy away from family gatherings, even if you know they will bring some sadness. Try to stay close to the people you love, and the people you know will support and encourage you.

Finally, consider creating some kind of a memory box or memento with which you can honor your lost loved one - remembering their life and legacy even in a busy time of the year.

Grief can be very cyclical, and some dates on the calendar may fill you with apprehension - but with these steps, you can meet that apprehension head-on.

Grief Without Guilt: Release Yourself

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 20:08:49 GMT

Guilt and grief go hand in hand, but what can you do to work through your feelings of guilt? Get some insights in this post.

I should have seen the signs.

I should have done more.

I should have been there.

These are common sentiments among those who are grieving—and what they suggest is an underlying feeling of guilt. Whether rational or not, a lot of us experience feelings of guilt during the bereavement process, kicking ourselves for not doing something—anything—to keep our loved one alive.

Guilt is a natural and normal component of grief. When something tragic happens, we want to make sense of it, to try to find an explanation. Often that means turning the microscope on ourselves. But just because it’s normal, that doesn’t mean it’s easy to bear—so what can you do to release yourself from grief’s burden?

Analyze the reasons you’re feeling guilty. Ask yourself what you could have said or done differently. Share these thoughts with a friend or a counselor, who can help you see where you may be thinking irrationally.
When guilty thoughts spring to mind, try to stop them in their tracks. Say "STOP!" either in your mind or even out loud.
If you believe in God or a higher power, consider what that higher power has to say about forgiveness. And remember that forgiveness is something you can apply to yourself.
Join a support group. You can talk candidly with other people who are experiencing similar feelings and receive their love and support.
Try thinking of the good things you said or did to help your loved one. Make a list and reflect on it when you start beating yourself up.
Visit your loved one in his or her final resting place and say out loud the things you wish you’d said when he or she was living. Often, this can be very unburdening.

More than anything, give yourself some time and patience. Guilt is a natural part of grief, and it may take a little while for you to work through it and come to a place of peace.

The 5 Stages of Grief

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 20:07:04 GMT

It is often said that grief is a journey and for many individuals, that journey leads through five distinct phases of emotional expression.

It is often said that grief is a journey. For many individuals, that journey leads through five distinct stages of emotional expression. These stages of grief are not etched into stone, and all individuals will experience them differently. Contrary to popular belief, these five stages do not necessarily occur in any specific order and you can move backward and forward between the stages over and over. However, the stages do describe the basic journey that many mourners take, across cultures and walks of life.

The first stage of grief is denial . When you learn that a close loved one has died, you may try to make yourself believe that it isn't real ... that it isn't happening. This is a defense mechanism, and it's meant to help you weather the immediate shock of losing someone.

Once the initial wave of denial wanes, the next stage is anger . In this stage, you may find yourself feeling outraged toward the deceased, irrational though that may be. Or, you may be angry at yourself or even at God.

The third stage is bargaining , which is typically characterized by "if only" sentiments. For example, you might think things like "if only we had sought care sooner," or "if only I could have been there for him." This phase is often accompanied by guilt; you make yourself think that maybe there's something you could have done to prevent this loss from happening.

The fourth stage is depression , which can impact different people to varying degrees. Depression can ultimately help prepare you to say final goodbyes to the person you've lost.

Finally, there is acceptance . You can still feel sad during the acceptance stage, but you're able to accept what's happened more objectively and start thinking about healthy ways to grieve and to move on with your life.

Knowing the five phases of grief can help you make sense of your own journey through bereavement and to be empathetic to others who are on a journey of their own.

Healing Projects to Help You Cope with Grief

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 20:05:18 GMT

Different people cope with grief in different ways. One way you might consider channeling your bereaved emotions is through a hands-on project - something that lets you turn your negative feelings into something concrete and beautiful.

Different people cope with grief in different ways. One way you might consider channeling your bereaved emotions is through a hands-on project, something that lets you turn your negative feelings into something concrete and beautiful. A project can be immensely therapeutic, and it can help you effectively manage stress and anxiety.

There are many different projects you could take on. One common example is to plant a tree. Devote a warm Saturday morning to digging a hole and planting your sapling; devote this new life to the memory of your deceased loved one.

Creative expression can also be invaluable. Maybe this means writing a poem to honor your loved one. Maybe it means composing a song. Or maybe it means painting, drawing, or sculpting. There’s no wrong answer here. The important thing is to find something that sounds fun and therapeutic to you.

Another option is to create a memory box. In it, you can place photos and mementos to help you keep your loved one’s spirit near and dear. Memory boxes can be great places to store cremated remains and cremation keepsakes, too.

Note that some of these projects can be taken on solo, but others may be good group activities—allowing you and your family members to process grief together. The memory box idea can be a good one to do with kids, allowing them a tactile and creative way to remember their deceased loved one.

These projects can all be helpful for improving your mental and emotional health, and for giving you a constructive outlet for grief. Start thinking about a project you’d like to take on as you navigate this healing journey.

Mentally and Emotionally Surviving Grief

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 20:01:17 GMT

In the midst of grief, it can feel like your life will never again feel normal. While the grieving process never truly ends, there are some ways you can preserve your mental and emotional well-being.

In the midst of grief, it can feel like your life will never again feel normal. While the grieving process never truly ends, there are some ways you can preserve your mental and emotional well-being, ultimately reaching a place where you can once again feel peace.

The most important thing to remember is that grief has a timetable all its own—and often, it will take up to a year before you begin to feel like your normal self. Don’t rush it. Allow grief to work itself out without trying to expedite it.

You may have days or even weeks when you don’t feel like talking, and that’s okay; again, grief has its own pace. Ultimately, though, it’s important to give voice to your pain, and the best way to do that is to find someone you feel safe talking to—either a close friend or the members of a grief support group.

Self-expression can be a healthy way to deal with stress and grief, and there are a number of forms this can take—journaling, drawing, or even taking up a musical instrument.

Maintaining mental and emotional health will also require you to attend to your physical well-being, and that includes exercise. Physical activity releases endorphins, producing a natural "high”—a great way to bolster your emotional health. Sound nutrition is just as important, and keeping healthy but convenient meals handy is a good way to make sure you get the right nutrients.

More than anything else, be patient with yourself. Grief is a natural way to deal with traumatic events, and you’re not going to feel like your old self again right away. Allow some grace as you take things one day at a time, working out your grief at the pace that seems right to you.

Staying Healthy to Survive Grief

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 19:59:07 GMT

Grief can be all-consuming. Following the loss of a loved one, you may find it challenging to focus on everyday activities, or to invest meaning into the things that once brought you purpose or pleasure.

Grief can be all-consuming. Following the loss of a loved one, you may find it challenging to focus on everyday activities or to invest meaning into the things that once brought you purpose or pleasure. This can extend even to such seemingly mundane tasks as sleeping, eating, and exercising—all of which can be thrown into chaos by feelings of grief.

Yet, as you grieve and mourn, it becomes more important than ever that you take care of yourself. Grief takes a massive emotional toll, and the only way to withstand it is to keep both your body and your mind in prime shape.

That means allowing yourself eight hours of sleep each night. Sleeplessness is a common symptom of grief, but there are simple steps you can take to maximize your odds of drifting off: Take a warm, soothing bath before bed. Make sure your room is totally dark and cool, and that your pillows and blankets are comfortable. Eliminate the presence of electronic devices.

Eating is another concern. Many who are grieving will go long stretches where they simply forget to eat, so make it a point to get your three meals a day. Keep healthy but convenient foods in the house, like salad fixings you can throw together in just a moment’s time. Also, consider limiting the amount of junk food from your home. Instead, try to keep fruits, nuts, vegetables, and other healthy things readily available to snack on.

Finally, try to get some physical activity each day, even if that’s just a walk through your neighborhood. The combination of sunshine and physical activity can give you a natural endorphin rush— a powerful way to stay strong even during a tough season of bereavement.

Who Am I Now? Grief and Your Changing Identity

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 19:57:29 GMT

Most people don't think much about their own identity and how it is connected to others until they experience a loss. Once a loved one is gone from your life, you begin to realize that part of your grief journey will also involve adjusting to a new identity.

Most people don’t think much about their own identity and how it is connected to others until they experience a loss. Once a loved one is gone from your life, you being to realize that part of your grief journey will also involve adjusting to a new identity. You will likely feel confusion over who you are now that your loved one has passed on.

There are multiple ways your identity can change following the loss of a loved one.

Relational Identity – If you lose a child you may wonder, "Am I still a parent?” If you lose a spouse, you will lose that identity that comes with being someone’s life partner. If your loved one was ill, and you were the primary caregiver, you may find that it is difficult to shift away from that role. Or you may find that you have now become the primary caretaker for an aging parent because your other parent has passed on. No matter the change, you may find yourself wondering if you will be able to cope in your new role.
Professional Identity - Following the loss of a loved one you may have to relocate or change jobs. Or you may have quit a job to help care for your loved one if they were ill and now you are able to return to the workforce. Our professional identity is a huge part of who we are and changes in this area can have a huge impact on how we see ourselves.
Spiritual Identity - For some, the loss of a loved one may change their outlook on life, and you may find that your spiritual faith can shift or even disappear. You may question your beliefs. If your spirituality was a big part of your identity prior to your loss, this can be hard to cope with.
Financial Identity – The loss of a loved one can also change your financial situation. You may go from a dual-income family to being a single income family. You may have medical bills to deal with. Alternatively, you may receive an inheritance that you must decide how to manage.

While there are no easy answers, know that facing a changing identity is common. It will take time to really feel like this new identity is truly "you.” Try to embrace your new role. By accepting your new responsibilities and the challenges that come along with it, you may find that your new role brings you a new sense of joy and fulfillment.

Returning to Work While Grieving

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 19:52:10 GMT

Many bereaved people find they must return to work before they are ready. This applies not only to those in the workforce, but to those who must return to social obligations, such as a volunteer position or church group, soon after a loss.

If you must return to a work or social setting while you are still grieving, here are some tips:

If possible, ease yourself back in.

If you have to go back and you aren’t quite ready, see if you can arrange to transition back by doing some half days for a while or by working only a few days a week and giving yourself more down days.

Know your grief will still be there.

Even if you feel like you are healing and that work will be a welcome distraction, know that your grief has not left you. You may be surprised at where and when your grief strikes.

Be gentle with others and expect a range of reactions.

People may not be aware of your loss and if they are, they may not know exactly what to say.

Utilize the resources that your workplace offers.

Many Human Resources departments offer services such as counseling, assistance, and referrals. Don’t hesitate to ask if you feel you need outside support.

Take care of yourself.

As best as you can, get adequate sleep, eat well, and make time for exercise. Grief is hard work and some self-care can go a long way.

Consider appointing an ambassador.

It may be helpful to appoint someone to let others know your situation. They can answer questions on your behalf and let others know how you are feeling and if you would like to talk about your loss or not.

Create breaks in your schedule when possible.

Give yourself some extra downtime in the day if possible. Try to avoid scheduling meetings back to back so that you have breathing room.

Find a place to go when you need to be alone.

Crying at work is no fun, but it’s likely to happen. Try to find a place to go when you need some space, even if it’s your car, the bathroom, or a room/office with a door you can close.

Most of all, do not be afraid to ask for help.

More than likely, your friends and co-workers want to help, but they may not know the best way possible.

The Importance of Grief Rituals

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 19:49:39 GMT

Rituals are a very important part of the grieving process. There is no right or wrong way to develop your ritual, as long as you feel that it helps you cherish the memory of your loved one.

Rituals are a very important part of the grieving process. When a loved one passes away, we typically hold a funeral. A funeral is a wonderful outlet for mourning the loss of a loved one and allows friends and family to support one another during a difficult time.

However, most funerals happen very soon after a loss. This means that friends and family may not be able to make the funeral as meaningful as they would have liked due to planning and time constraints. Also, since only a few people typically plan the funeral, not everyone gets a say in how it will be conducted.

This is where post-funeral rituals come in. These rituals can provide an ongoing, personal way for friends and family to remember the deceased. Rituals also allow friends and family to honor and celebrate their loved one long after the funeral service is over.

Rituals that celebrate your loved one can come in almost any form. When coming up with a ritual one place to start is to think about favorite memories or experiences with your loved one. You might have a funny or happy memory that you want to cherish through some type of celebration or ceremony. Or you might consider a ritual surrounding your loved one’s favorite hobby or activity. You may also want to consider your cultural or spiritual background, or that of your loved one, when coming up with a ritual.

There is no right or wrong way to develop your ritual, so long as you feel that it helps you cherish the memory of your loved one.

Rituals do not need to be overly complicated. Your ritual can be something simple, such as visiting your loved one’s gravesite and playing their favorite song or reading their favorite poem. Or it can be something you do from home, such as cooking your loved one’s favorite meal and sharing it with family members. If your loved one enjoyed fishing, you might plan an annual trip to their favorite fishing spot. The possibilities are endless.

The main thing to remember is that, just as your grief is unique, your ritual should also be unique. Just make sure that you plan something you are comfortable with and that helps you remember and honor your loved one.

Grief: A Time to Heal - Loss of a Child from Suicide

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 19:46:21 GMT

Your child has died from suicide. As you struggle to accept this difficult loss, you may find yourself consumed by pain, fear, grief and intense guilt.

Grief is a natural response to losing someone who was important to you. Grief hurts, but it is necessary. When a death tears your world apart, grieving is the process that helps put it back together.

Anger
Another immediate reaction to a death is anger. You may feel anger toward the doctors or nurses who couldn't save your loved one, toward the funeral director and toward God. You may even feel anger toward your child for leaving you. Unfortunately, most of us were taught as children that anger is something to be avoided; you may therefore feel guilty when your anger will not go away.

Guilt
Survivors of suicide (those who are left behind to mourn the loss) typically feel intense guilt. It is common for survivors to believe they somehow should have prevented the death. There may be a tendency to dwell on an argument you had with your child or any number of other events you think may have contributed to their death. However, research shows that there is not just one single factor that leads someone to commit suicide, typically it is a combination of things ranging from health issues (mental or physical) to going through big life changes. And even though you may look back and see warning signs, it’s important to know that even mental health experts have difficulty identifying the warning signs. Most importantly, though, remember that you are not at fault, even if you feel like you should have known.

Depression

You may also feel helpless and childlike. When you lose someone close, you also experience "secondary losses" that accrue because of the death. When you lose a child, you lose out on the events and milestones you would have experienced together. You lose out on being a parent. These secondary losses can leave you feeling confused and panicky. For this reason, you should avoid making any major decisions. Try to postpone them until you can think more clearly and have a better idea of how your life is going to change.

The mental strain of grief can take a physical toll as well. It's not unusual for the bereaved to lose weight, have trouble sleeping, become irritable or listless, or feel short of breath.

Know that Time Heals
Finally, remember that as time goes on, your grief will diminish. Even though you may not feel like you will survive this, you can. This does not mean you will forget your child; it means you accept the death. But he or she will still be part of your life. Even though your relationship with your child has changed forever, its existence and your feelings live on forever.

Throughout this year we will send you biweekly grief newsletters. We hope these newsletters will help support you on your grief journey and help you to begin to process your grief.

If at any time you have questions or need some help, do not hesitate to reach out to our funeral home. We will be happy to help connect you with resources you may need.

If you ever need immediate help, you can call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 for free and confidential support 24/7.

Grief: A Time to Heal - Loss of a Child

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 19:42:26 GMT

You have just lost a child. As you struggle to accept this difficult loss, you may find yourself consumed by pain, fear, and grief. Throughout this year we will send you biweekly grief newsletters. We hope these newsletters will help support you on your grief journey and help you to begin to process your grief.

You have just lost a child. As you struggle to accept this difficult loss, you may find yourself consumed by pain, fear, and grief.

Grief is a natural response to losing someone who was important to you. Grief hurts, but it is necessary. When a death tears your world apart, grieving is the process that helps put it back together.

Reactions to Death
Certain reactions to the death of a loved one are quite common and you can expect to experience some of them. You may go into shock. If the death was unexpected, you may even find yourself denying at first that the person has died. "You feel numb, you feel like a spectator watching what's going on," explains Dr. Earl Grollman, noted author of books on death, dying and bereavement. Grollman says this response is nature's way of protecting you, of insulating you from what is happening.

Anger
Another immediate reaction to a death is anger. You may feel anger toward the doctors or nurses who couldn't save your child, toward the funeral director and toward God. You may even feel anger toward your child for leaving you. Unfortunately, most of us were taught as children that anger is something to be avoided; you may, therefore, feel guilty when your anger will not go away.

Depression

You may also feel helpless and childlike. When you lose someone close, you also experience "secondary losses" that accrue because of the death. When you lose a child, you lose out on many experiences and milestones you would have had together. You lose out on being a parent. These secondary losses can leave you feeling confused and panicky. For this reason, you should avoid making any major decisions. Try to postpone them until you can think more clearly and have a better idea of how your life is going to change.

Preoccupation
Another common reaction among grievers is preoccupation with the person who died. You may think about him or her constantly, re-create the circumstances of the death over and over in your mind, have dreams or nightmares about the person-you may even think you see or hear the deceased. Many people are surprised and frightened by the intensity of these reactions, but it's important to realize that, bizarre as they may seem, these reactions are normal.

The mental strain of grief can take a physical toll as well. It's not unusual for the bereaved to lose weight, have trouble sleeping, become irritable or listless, or feel short of breath.

Both before and after the funeral, it is important that you express your feelings. Take time to cry and don't be afraid to share your tears with other mourners. Talk openly with family members and friends. Don't try to "protect" other family members by hiding your sadness: it helps them as much as it does you. Express your anger if you are feeling it. This is the time to lean on friends. They may feel awkward for a while because they don't know how to talk to you about your loss. But you can help them help you by simply telling them what you need.

Know that Time Heals
Finally, remember that as time goes on, your grief will diminish. This does not mean you will forget your child; it means you accept the death. But he or she will still be part of your life. Even though your relationship with your child has changed forever, its existence and your feelings live on forever.

Throughout this year we will send you biweekly grief newsletters. We hope these newsletters will help support you on your grief journey and help you to begin to process your grief.

If at any time you have questions or need some help, do not hesitate to reach out to our funeral home. We will be happy to help connect you with resources you may need.

Helping Children Cope with the Death of a Sibling

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 19:36:57 GMT

For children, the loss of a brother or sister can be truly traumatic. As the parent, it's important to guide them through the grieving process - helping them to process their feelings in a healthy way.

For children, the loss of a brother or sister can be truly traumatic. As the parent, it's important to guide them through the grieving process—helping them to process their feelings in a healthy way, and consoling them without attempting to mute their pain.

The first thing to remember is that honesty really is the best policy, and as your child comes to you with challenging questions, it’s important to answer them clearly and without needless euphemisms. While using age-appropriate language is essential, it’s best to avoid phrases like "went to sleep” or "left us,” which can be misconstrued.

It’s also best to let the child set the pace. Your job isn’t to force your son or daughter to grieve in a particular way, but rather to support them in whatever form their grief takes. So, for example, if your son or daughter does not seem ready to talk about the death, it’s okay to wait until they are.

Parents can always be open and honest about their own bereavement. You will want to "be strong” for your kids, but it’s okay to let them see you cry or to talk about how you feel sad. This can validate their own feelings, and show them that they are not alone in their grief.

Something else that’s often helpful is assisting your child in preserving memories. This might mean letting your son or daughter keep some mementos to remember their sibling, or it might mean talking openly about the deceased child’s favorite foods, activities, TV shows, etc.

Show your child that it is okay to remember their lost sibling—both with sadness and with fondness.

Grief: A Time to Heal - Loss of a Loved One From Suicide

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 19:30:20 GMT

Your loved one has died from suicide. As you struggle to accept this difficult loss, you may find yourself consumed by pain, fear, grief and intense guilt. Throughout this year we will send you biweekly grief newsletters. We hope these newsletters will help support you on your grief journey and help you to begin to process your grief.

Your loved one has died from suicide. As you struggle to accept this difficult loss, you may find yourself consumed by pain, fear, grief and intense guilt.

Grief is a natural response to losing someone who was important to you. Grief hurts, but it is necessary. When a death tears your world apart, grieving is the process that helps put it back together.

Trauma
Death by suicide is sudden, unexpected and possibly violent. In addition to all the normal feelings and emotions associated with grief and loss, you may also have to deal with possible feelings of P PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) and anxiety brought on by the circumstances surrounding the death.

Anger
Another immediate reaction to a death is anger. You may feel anger toward the doctors or nurses who couldn't save your loved one, toward the funeral director and toward God. You may even feel anger toward your loved one for leaving you. Unfortunately, most of us were taught as children that anger is something to be avoided; you may therefore feel guilty when your anger will not go away.

Guilt
Survivors of suicide (those who are left behind to mourn the loss) typically feel intense guilt. It is common for survivors to believe they somehow should have prevented the death. There may be a tendency to dwell on an argument you had with your loved one or any number of other events you think may have contributed to their death. However, research shows that there is not just one single factor that leads someone to commit suicide, typically it is a combination of things ranging from health issues (mental or physical) to going through big life changes. And even though you may look back and see warning signs, it’s important to know that even mental health experts have difficulty identifying the warning signs. Most importantly, though, remember that you are not at fault, even if you feel like you should have known.

Depression

You may also feel helpless and childlike. When you lose someone close, you also experience "secondary losses" that accrue because of the death. When you lose a loved one, you lose out on the experiences and milestones you would have experienced together. You may find you have new roles or must make decisions you weren’t responsible for in the past. These secondary losses can leave you feeling confused and panicky. For this reason, you should avoid making any major decisions. Try to postpone them until you can think more clearly and have a better idea of how your life is going to change.

Preoccupation
Another common reaction among grievers is preoccupation with the person who died. You may think about him or her constantly, re-create the circumstances of the death over and over in your mind, have dreams or nightmares about the person-you may even think you see or hear the deceased. Many people are surprised and frightened by the intensity of these reactions, but it's important to realize that, bizarre as they may seem, these reactions are normal.

The mental strain of grief can take a physical toll as well. It's not unusual for the bereaved to lose weight, have trouble sleeping, become irritable or listless, or feel short of breath.

Know that Time Heals
Finally, remember that as time goes on, your grief will diminish. Even though you may not feel like you will survive this, you can. This does not mean you will forget your loved one; it means you accept the death. But he or she will still be part of your life. Even though your relationship with your loved one has changed forever, its existence and your feelings live on forever.

Throughout this year we will send you biweekly grief newsletters. We hope these newsletters will help support you on your grief journey and help you to begin to process your grief.

If at any time you have questions or need some help, do not hesitate to reach out to our funeral home. We will be happy to help connect you with resources you may need.

If you ever need immediate help, you can call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 for free and confidential support 24/7.

Grief: A Time to Heal

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 19:15:51 GMT

Grief is a natural response to losing someone who was important to you. Grief hurts, but it is necessary. When a death tears your world apart, grieving is the process that helps put it back together.

Someone close to you has died. As you struggle to accept this difficult loss, you may find yourself consumed by pain, fear and grief.

Grief is a natural response to losing someone who was important to you. Grief hurts, but it is necessary. When a death tears your world apart, grieving is the process that helps put it back together.

While grief is natural, it is also highly individual. How a person grieves depends on a number of factors. Your relationship with the person who died will certainly influence your grief, but so will your age, sex, religion and previous experiences with death. The age of the deceased and the circumstances of death will also affect the intensity of your grief. In short, no one can tell you exactly how you will, or should, experience grief.

Reactions to Death
Certain reactions to the death of a loved one are quite common and you can expect to experience some of them. You may go into shock. If the death was unexpected, you may even find yourself denying at first that the person has died. "You feel numb, you feel like a spectator watching what's going on," explains Dr. Earl Grollman, noted author of books on death, dying and bereavement. Grollman says this response is nature's way of protecting you, of insulating you from what is happening.

Anger
Another immediate reaction to a death is anger. You may feel anger toward the doctors or nurses who couldn't save your loved one, toward the funeral director and toward God. You may even feel anger toward the deceased person for leaving you. Unfortunately, most of us were taught as children that anger is something to be avoided; you may therefore feel guilty when your anger will not go away.

Guilt
In fact, you could find yourself feeling guilty for a number of reasons. It is common for a bereaved person to feel guilty simply for being alive when someone else has died. You may believe you somehow should have prevented the death or should have been present to say goodbye. There may be a tendency to dwell on an argument you had with the deceased.

You may also feel helpless and childlike. When you lose someone close, you also experience "secondary losses" that accrue because of the death. A woman who loses a child, for example, loses more than just her child, she loses being a mother and a parent. These secondary losses can leave you feeling confused and panicky. For this reason, you should avoid making any major decisions; try to postpone them until you can think more clearly and have a better idea of how your life is going to change.

Preoccupation
Another common reaction among grievers is preoccupation with the person who died. You may think about him or her constantly, re-create the circumstances of the death over and over in your mind, have dreams or nightmares about the person-you may even think you see or hear the deceased. Many people are surprised and frightened by the intensity of these reactions, but it's important to realize that, bizarre as they may seem, these reactions are normal.

The mental strain of grief can take a physical toll as well. It's not unusual for the bereaved to lose weight, experience difficulty sleeping, become irritable or listless, or feel short of breath.

Coping With Grief
How can you overcome the problems of grief? You must first recognize that grief is necessary, and that it is something you must work through. As Grollman says, there is no shortcut through grief.

Both before and after the funeral, it is important that you express your feelings. Take time to cry and don't be afraid to share your tears with other mourners. Talk openly with family members and friends. Don't try to "protect" other family members by hiding your sadness: it helps them as much as it does you. Express your anger if you are feeling it. This is the time to lean on friends. They may feel awkward for awhile because they don't know how to talk to you about your loss. But you can help them help you by simply telling them what you need.

Support
What if you can't seem to handle your grief? It is difficult to say when a person needs professional help, but if you are worried that you aren't coping with your grief, it is time to seek help. You may simply be relieved to discover that you are reacting normally. If you believe you need help, ask your clergyperson, doctor or funeral director to suggest a counselor.

Time Heals...
Finally, remember that as time goes on, your grief will diminish. This does not mean you will forget your loved one; it means you accept the death and can no longer enjoy the deceased person's physical presence. But he or she will still be part of your life. Even though your relationship with your loved one has changed forever, its existence and your feelings live on forever.

The Unique Needs of Widowers

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 19:08:31 GMT

While women and men both feel grief over the loss of a spouse, widowers often have a unique set of needs.

While women and men both feel grief over the loss of a spouse, widowers often have a unique set of needs. This typically stems from the fact that while a woman may have many friends she can lean on following the loss of a spouse, a man may have lost his best friend and closest companion all at once.

Perhaps the saying "Women mourn - men replace" has its roots in intense loneliness caused by a lack of previously established close friendships. It has been frequently asked whether a widower would be as driven to hurriedly replace his wife and best friend if he had someone with whom he could share his grief.

Men face unique problems as widowers. Many of their everyday needs were probably provided by a wife. Because they are not as likely to be able to take care of themselves as widows, their health and well-being can be severely affected.

Widowers may be immersed in feelings they never knew existed and may exhibit painful physical and psychological symptoms. Because women are more frequently the primary caregiver to children, men may face changes in their relationship with their children, resulting in feelings of isolation.

Because of their unique needs, widowers, particularly those who lack close friends and family with whom they can talk about their loss and grief, are urged to attend support group meetings or find a counselor with whom they can share their feelings.

Helping Children Process a Celebrity Death

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 18:59:51 GMT

Research shows that social media can make us feel like we really"know" a celebrity, and thus feel very connected to them, just as if they were a real friend. When a celebrity dies it can trigger true feelings of grief and sadness.

These days, with technology, celebrity news travels fast and far. When a celebrity passes away it's not only mentioned on news websites, there are typically social media tributes and mentions as well. It's very likely that your child will hear about the passing on their own from friends or social media.

Many celebrities have a strong social media presence and your child may "like" or "follow" them on Facebook or Instagram. Research shows that social media can make us feel like we really "know" a celebrity, and thus feel very connected to them, just as if they were a real friend. When a celebrity dies it can trigger true feelings of grief and sadness.

For a child, hearing about the passing of one of their celebrity role models can be shocking. For many kids, this may be the first time they experience someone they know passing away. This can be particularly profound if the celebrity was younger, or someone your child really admired.

The good news is these types of events offer parents an opportunity to talk about death and grief, and what these things mean. As a parent, it's important to help guide them through the grieving process.

You can start the conversation by simply asking your child if they had heard the news. From there, see how they respond. They may let you know they feel sad. Or they may let you know that for them it's not that big a deal.

Remember to let your child set the pace. If it seems like your child doesn't want to talk about the death right away, it is ok to wait until they are.

If your child is sad, recognize that your child is grieving and let them know these feelings are normal. Even though they may have never met this person, it's ok to feel the loss. Do not try to minimize their grief just because they didn't actually know the celebrity.

Your child may have lots of questions about what happened. In this case, honesty, for the most part, is the best policy. While it may be appropriate to leave out details of the actual manner of death, especially for young children, answer most questions as honestly as you can. Using age-appropriate language is essential, it's best to avoid phrases like "went to sleep" or "left us," which can be misconstrued.

Finally, it can be helpful to assist your child in creating some type of memorial. Maybe they want to make a card, create a video or make a photo collage.

No matter what you do, though, remember that what matters most is that you offer a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on.

How is mourning different when a loved one with dementia passes away?

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 18:56:53 GMT

Grieving begins first on a day-to-day basis as a loved one begins to lose their memories and functions.

When a loved one has dementia, the grieving process starts long before the actual passing. Grieving begins first on a day-to-day basis as a loved one begins to lose their memories and functions. It may even begin the day you learn of the dementia diagnosis.

As the person with dementia's capacity declines, those feelings of loss can become more profound. Even though you want to do everything you can to slow down the progression of the disease, there is nothing you can do. This can make you feel hopeless or out of control.

While the initial grieving process – grieving the loss of the person you once knew while they are still alive – is different for everyone, you may still experience some of the typical pattern of grief.

Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance

It may also feel like your grief is a never-ending roller coaster, as you may pass through the mourning cycle many times before your loved one actually passes away. And your feelings will be unpredictable. You may feel angry one day and sad the next. There will be moments of happiness in there too, and that may even cause feelings of guilt for feeling happy while a loved one continues to suffer.

After your loved one passes, you will grieve and mourn again. However, it is common for surviving spouses and family members to feel a sense of relief that their loved one is no longer suffering and that this chapter in their own lives has closed. Unfortunately, this also leads to survivor's guilt because people feel guilty that they now feel relief from the burden of having to care for someone who has end-stage dementia.

Ways to Manage Grief

First, do not try to suppress uncomfortable feelings. Instead, embrace your feelings and know that sadness and grief will be a part of your life.

Know that your grief experience is unique. No one else knows exactly how you feel, and you can't predict exactly how you will respond. It would be nice to be able to know exactly when your grief will end, but that is impossible to know too.

Make sure you talk to someone and share your feelings. This may be a trusted friend or family member or even a counselor, therapist or minister.

Don't isolate yourself. It may be hard to muster the energy to socialize at this time, especially as you need to spend more time caring for your loved one. Spending time with friends can help you to be a better caregiver.

Take it one day at a time. Give yourself time to heal, it will be a long process. Know that eventually your grief will start to subside, and you will start to feel happy.

Supporting Someone After a Suicide

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 18:51:36 GMT

As the suicide rates climb, supporting those near to you is vital.

Losing someone to suicide may be one of the most heartbreaking and difficult forms of grief. Oftentimes, after such a loss, people are left with painful questions and burdensome memories. Here are a few ways to help support someone after a recent loss due to suicide.

As suicide rates climb, supporting those near to you is vital. Supporting those you know and love can be as simple as a phone call or a quick text message to check in on them. Dropping by to make sure that they are well and taking care of themselves can be an important way to support someone after a recent traumatic loss.

Encourage your friend or family member to enter counseling for their loss. Professional help is one of the best ways to help work through such grief and finding practical and professional mental health support can be the difference between moving through grief with grace or sinking deeper into despair. If needed, volunteer to go with them to a grief counseling seminar or a group therapy session: your support likely will make it easier to get help.

Offer to help your friend or loved one clean up the space left behind by the person they lost. Cleaning up a room can be painful for anyone but it can be especially painful after a difficult loss. Encourage them to keep some clothing and photos from a better time: that may ease some of the pain of loss. Encourage them to donate any other clothing pieces that could maybe help someone else in need. Make a photo collage out of any photos that may be left behind and frame other treasured items the deceased kept. These mementos can help provide a place to remember the person at their best rather than focusing on the troubled times.

After a loss to suicide, it may seem daunting to try and help a close friend or family member but supporting those who have lost someone to suicide is a vital part of the grief process. If someone you know is in crisis, there are resources provided below.

Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/help-yourself/loss-survivors/

https://afsp.org/find-support/ive-lost-someone/

Teen Suicide

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 18:48:57 GMT

According to the CDC, suicide is the third leading cause of death for teenagers in the United States. The report also states that for every teen who dies by suicide, more than two dozen attempt suicide. There is help.

Suicide amongst teenagers is not a new concern but rates have been rising in the last decade. This rise is somewhat attributed to the growing importance of social media in the lives of teenagers. Social media has been a great tool for people to connect with each other but social networks have taken the age-old issue of bullying and made it much worse. It is easier to lob vicious insults and attacks at people online than it is in real life.

Bullying is one of the largest factors that drives teenagers and young people to end their own lives. Cyber-bullying is famously difficult to stop or even to prosecute. It is very easy to create accounts, hide and encrypt messages and disguise where messages came from online. This makes it difficult if not impossible to bring cyberbullies to justice.

If you suspect your teen or someone close to your family is the victim of bullying, encourage them to keep screenshots and receipts of messages received. These will be useful if a case is made to the school or to the police if the situation is escalated further. Take any and all claims of bullying seriously and address them immediately. If your teen expresses feelings of being depressed, sad or even apathetic ... be supportive ... simply being there for them can make all the difference.

There are resources available to help teens through difficult times like the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) or even just local support groups through schools, churches and community groups.

No teen has to face the horrors of bullying or the oppressive nature of cruel thoughts alone: there is hope.

World Autism Awareness Day: Grief and Autism

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 18:46:31 GMT

Autism is a broad spectrum of symptoms that range from difficulty communicating to difficulty with social situations and interactions to other more complicated symptoms. Along its wide range there are some that are higher functioning than others and its complexity can make it difficult to support generally. But with the condition being easier to diagnose, the need to continue to discuss ways to help those with autism or those raising children with autism during a myriad of situations has become a necessity.

When it comes to discussing death, grief and loss as experienced by children, the topic is already difficult to grasp. For children with autism, there is an added level of difficulty when expressing such complex emotions and concepts. As a spectrum of conditions, autism tends to primarily affect communication, social functions and emotional control. The following are some scenarios to consider.

Try to explain death as concretely as possible. When dealing with children or young adults, guardians and parents tend towards flowery language when it comes to death and loss. Words like "passed away" or "gone to sleep" may be taken too literally to the autistic mind and thus only makes grief more painful. If a person is merely asleep, they should wake up and thus explaining it that way can only make the thought more difficult to bear. Be blunt. Explain that death is a part of life and just because a person may physically be gone, they are rarely gone from memory.

Funerals, wakes and gatherings can stress a child with autism. Social gatherings can be stressful for any child but crowds, loud noises, extended time away from home and the disruption of routine can all be very difficult for a child with autism. If your child has a particular item that helps them feel more comfortable or relaxed and it is not a serious disruption to the services then bring it along. Politely excuse yourself and your child if an emotional outburst becomes disruptive: your friends and family will understand. If you are concerned that a gathering, funeral service or wake may be too much for your child, then politely say so: send a card and flowers. There are many ways to be supportive that do not involve being physically present.

Nightmares, emotional distress and other symptoms are common for anyone after a loss, but a child with autism may have even more difficulty expressing or coping with these feelings. If you are already seeing a therapist or counselor, be sure to update them about the recent loss: they are trained professionals who can help provide tangible coping mechanisms. Try coloring books or activities that encourage children to express themselves through art, block building, or board games. They can help provide a solid, more concrete way to express very abstract feelings.

Autism spectrum disorders affect 1 in every 59 children in the United States. Understanding how to better help these children cope and understand death is vitally important to bettering their lives and experiences.

More information can be found by visiting: www.autismspeaks.org

What Does Grief Look Like?

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 18:38:53 GMT

In our last entry, we discussed the differences between grief and mourning. Today, we are going to discuss how grief can manifest for you or those you love. Grief takes on many different forms for different people and in different circumstances. These are just a few ways grief shows itself.

Apathy
For some who recently lost someone, they were not close to or even were in a not ideal relationship with, the grief associated with such a loss may be more apathetic than anything else. You or the person who recently experienced the loss may seem quiet, somewhat withdrawn and not seem particularly negatively at all. They may seem like things are fine but it may simply be that they are processing the grief more internally. Just because they are not grieving outwardly does not mean they do not feel the pain of loss in their own way.

Anger
At times, grief manifests itself as anger. The bereaved may feel angry that their loved one has left them. They may feel anger towards those trying to help them; they may feel the efforts of their friends and family are not enough. They may even feel angry at themselves for failing their lost loved one even if there was nothing they could have done. When grief shows itself as anger, being patient is key. You will have to be patient with the bereaved and know that they likely don't mean the harsh things that may come out of their mouth.

Relief/Joy
Sometimes, after a loved one has battled a long illness or has lived a full life, grief is tempered by a feeling of relief or even tempered joy at the end of a loved one's suffering. Some religions even encourage comfort in the loss of a loved one. These faiths preach that death is not the end and a lost loved one is perpetually cared for without suffering in a better place. For some, the loss of a loved one is not a sad one, but a matter of comfort and joy at the end of physical suffering.

Mend a Broken Heart Month

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 18:36:34 GMT

In the spirit of mending broken hearts, here are a few ways to cope with the grief of a lost loved one.

February can be a trying time for those who have experienced a loss. And while for most, February has other more symbolic meanings, it is also Mend a Broken Heart Month. In the spirit of mending broken hearts, here are a few ways to cope with the grief of a lost loved one.

For those who have experienced a recent loss, the prospect of going out and dating again can seem scary and even disrespectful to their lost partner. There are plenty of dating groups both community and online that specialize in helping widows and widowers find love again after a loss. These groups often provide both emotional support and physical activities to encourage those who are bereaved to mingle and grow together past their grief.

If your grief is still too recent, there are projects that can help ease the pain of loss. If your lost beloved had a favorite shirt or sweater that you don't mind parting with: try adding some pillow filler to the garment and sew up the sleeves and the neck. The completed pillow can now provide some comfort, as if your lost loved has never truly left.

If there was a cause that you and your lost loved one supported together: try donating your time or energy to the same cause to honor their legacy. If there was not a cause that you and your loved one shared, there are plenty of other causes that are doing great work during the month of February. In addition to Mend a Broken Heart Month, February is also Women's Heart Health Month. Those causes can be supported by donating blankets to those in need, winter coats to the homeless or donating time to visit the lonely in hospice care centers or local nursing homes and hospitals.

This February, take some time to try and mend a broken heart: be it yours or someone else's. Know that you are not alone and that things will improve.

Talking to Your Kids About National Tragedies

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 18:34:10 GMT

Our nation has come together, unified too often, in grief after tragic events such as 9/11, Uvalde, Odessa, El Paso, Dayton, Parkland, Orlando, Sandy Hook, Las Vegas and, unfortunately, the list goes on. Here are a few tips on how to talk to your kids after a national tragedy.

Our nation has come together, unified too often, in grief after tragic events such as in Uvalde, Odessa, El Paso, Dayton, Parkland, Orlando, Sandy Hook, Las Vegas and, unfortunately, the list goes on. And while we as a country continue to mourn, many of us have children both young and old who may be asking difficult questions. Here are a few tips on how to talk to your kids after a national tragedy.

First, know that many schools often host grief counselors for their students after a national tragedy. This is a great first step for students to bring up their concerns, fears and thoughts after such events. If you have a counselor or therapist that already works with you and your family, encourage that as a safe and productive place for your children to work through any anxieties they may have after a tragic event.

Address your child's fears with patience. If they saw a story online or heard a news story, be patient and know that there are likely many questions your child may have. Don't be afraid to limit news coverage in the home for a little while: continuing to see the same story over and over again may be distressing to younger children. Older children and teens are often connected to the world via smartphones and social media: let them know that if they see something that upsets them or worries them that it is something that can be talked about openly.

Go over a safety plan with your children. Many kids from as young as elementary school have cell phones. Encourage them to call law enforcement if they feel something is wrong or if they are in danger. Ask your children to re-familiarize themselves with their schools lock-down procedures: knowing their exits and options can save lives.

In these trying times, know that we stand with you and your family. For more grief support resources - feel free to stop by our funeral home - we are here for you.

Helping Elderly People Through Grief

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 18:32:23 GMT

One of the toughest things about growing old is experiencing so much grief, watching close friends and family members pass away. This grief takes a toll and can often leave elderly people feeling chronically depressed.

If you have an elderly family member who’s experienced some intense grief, there are a few ways you can help them shoulder their burden. The best thing you can do is be there to listen to them. If they bring up their deceased friend and seem like they are eager to talk, engage them with some questions. Ask them to share some favorite memories of their friend. By the same token, though, it’s important to let your elderly family member steer the discussion—and if they seem reluctant to talk, don’t force it on them.

Often, it’s meaningful just to spend time with your elderly family member. Find an activity that you can do together, even if it’s as simple as working a puzzle, going for a brief walk, or sitting down to enjoy a cup of coffee. Help them occupy their time and attention, and to see that they’re not alone.

It’s also important that you ensure your elderly family members take care of themselves. Grief can sometimes cause individuals to forsake regular meals or to have a hard time sleeping at night. Ask your loved one how they’re doing and encourage them to take care of themselves as best they can. You can help by offering to bring them food, take them out to a favorite restaurant, or simply keep them company as they go out for some fresh air and a change of scenery.

Grief is hard at any age, and those who are a bit older may feel it more acutely. There are steps you can take to help them, though, and to give them someone to lean on during their season of bereavement.

Grieving Alone: How to Help Someone Who's Mourning in Isolation

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 18:28:03 GMT

During the grieving process, it's only natural to seek some solitude. You may have moments or even days when you'd rather be alone with your reflections. That's fine and healthy, but of course, it's unhealthy to remain in isolation for too long. Ultimately, we all need to seek the support of others to help us endure the weight of grieving.

The question is, what can you do to help a friend or loved one who has completely withdrawn, choosing to grieve totally in isolation?

The best thing you can do is simply be present. The rule of thumb is, if your friendship was important before the death, it's not suddenly going to become a burden afterward. By all means, give your friend or loved one some privacy, but also make sure you're checking in regularly. Text, call, send notes, and be ready to show up with a hug or a shoulder to cry on as needed.

Something else you can do is be ready to listen. You don't have to know the right words, and in fact, it can often be best not to say anything at all beyond stressing your love, support, and friendship. Just lend an ear to your grieving friend or loved one and avoid cliches like "I know how you feel."

You might also look for opportunities where you can be helpful. As you call and text, ask if you can pick up the dry cleaning, bring a meal, or come help with the dishes.

It's important to give your grieving friend or loved one some space and not to be too pushy. At the same time, it's critical to stay in touch, monitor the situation, and not let them slip too deep into isolation.

How meal delivery can be scheduled in the age of social distancing?

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 18:24:23 GMT

In the age of social distancing it can be a little more challenging to get food to someone. Fortunately, in the event you are not able to drop off food yourself, there are many delivery services available.

In the days and weeks following a loss, preparing food can feel like an overwhelming task. When someone passes away, it is common for friends and family to support those left behind by providing food for those who are grieving. In the age of social distancing it can be a little more challenging to get food to someone. Fortunately, in the event you are not able to drop off food yourself, there are many delivery services available.

In most cities and towns there are local restaurants that will deliver food. You can simply call and schedule an order. There are also many apps available now that allow you to order food from numerous local restaurants and have it delivered to the home of your choice.

If there aren’t a lot of restaurants in the area, a quick internet search can give you options of food services that will ship food. While some services may require the recipient to prepare the food themselves, which is often not ideal when someone is grieving, there are options that will ship food already prepared so that it only needs to be reheated.

The great thing about food delivery is that it can be done from any location. So even if you are not able to travel to be with your friend or family member, you can still support them.

Another idea is to have a virtual dinner party in lieu of an in-person visit. Friends or family members can all order food from the same restaurant or prepare the same dish and then schedule a video chat to share the meal together.

Something else to consider when scheduling food delivery is that it can be ongoing. Usually, the large outpouring of support following a loss tends to wane after a week or two. However, that does not mean that grief goes away. In fact, it can be even more important to provide support several weeks or even months down the road. One thing you can do is set up a meal delivery calendar where friends and family members can choose a day to provide a meal. This way, the person will continue to get ongoing support from loved ones for some time.

Whatever you decide to do, know that your show of support will be very valuable for your grieving friends or family.

Why We Avoid Talking About Death

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 18:20:20 GMT

Certain conversations are just uncomfortable to have and the talk about death is likely first on the list. There are many reasons why we avoid discussions of death ... here are some.

Certain conversations are just uncomfortable to have - and the talk about death is likely first on the list.

There are many reasons why we avoid discussions of death - among them:

We're unprepared to die. What will happen you your loved ones if you die tomorrow? Do you have outstanding debts or house payments that they will have to deal with? Will you be leaving them any money to address funeral and burial expenses? Often, we feel unprepared for death, and frankly embarrassed to burden our loved ones with this lack of preparation.

We feel guilty asking others to do things for us. Talking about death often means talking to loved ones about how they can assist us in the event of our death. This can lead to feelings of guilt.

We fear family arguments. What if your funeral wishes or end-of-life decisions differ from the thoughts or beliefs of your family members? Many of us fear that discussing so important a topic can lead to rifts with the people we love.

We're frightened to die. Of course, many of us are uncomfortable with the uncertainty and the finality of death. Even those of intense religious faith may feel uncomfortable discussing their own mortality.

We don't want to upset anyone. Talking about death can be uncomfortable for everyone - and broaching it with a close loved one can be traumatic or simply awkward.

For all of these things, though, just remember: Talking about death can be uncomfortable, but it is nothing compared to the burden of losing a loved one having never discussed these important issues. Talking about death is the only way to provide peace of mind - for yourself, and for the people you care about.

'Tis the Season for Difficult Conversations

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 18:13:22 GMT

Over this holiday season, we encourage you to have "The Talk" with your family members.

Nobody likes dwelling on mortality, and conversations about death tend to be "downers" - not least during the otherwise joyful holiday season. And yet, talking candidly with your family members about end-of-life issues is imperative. And for many families, the holiday season is the best time to do it, simply because the whole family is actually together.

Consider: Should your parents pass away unexpectedly, do you know their wishes for a funeral or memorial service? Do you have a clear understanding of their desires for their estate? And should something unthinkable happen to you, will you be leaving your own kids with a clear plan - or simply with burdens?

For many families, end-of-life preparations go neglected and ignored - but simply having a conversation can be clarifying and even encouraging.

Over this holiday season, we encourage you to have "The Talk" with your family members. That doesn't necessarily mean hammering out all the issues on the spot, but it does mean getting the conversation going - encouraging everyone to think sensitively yet strategically about end-of-life issues.

Some quick tips and guidelines for starting this conversation, for keeping it positive and productive, and some brief points to consider:

When having The Talk, it's vital to pick a good time and a comfortable place.
Ask questions about your parents or aging family members. Learn their story. Get them talking about what matters most to them.
Remember to keep it collaborative and conversational. Your loved ones may have different beliefs than yours - but your point is to learn, not judge.
Offer help to your aging family members - help in planning, organizing, cleaning their home, sorting through their things, or whatever they need.
Get everyone involved - including siblings and other family members, as appropriate.
Be patient. People may need some time before they're ready to start talking seriously about end-of-life details. Remember that your aim is to start the conversation.

Don't delay in having The Talk. And don't put it off just because of the holidays. In truth, this may be the ideal time to engage your loved ones in a conversation.

Proper Etiquette for Approaching an Unexpected Death

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 17:48:30 GMT

Unexpected deaths can be a great burden to and create confusion for those who are left behind, so it is important to understand how to approach these very sensitive situations.

Generally, the loss of a loved one is not a welcome circumstance. However, in many cases, individuals have a chance to say goodbye or make proper arrangements. In other situations, a death may be caused by an unexpected event.

Unexpected deaths can be a great burden to and create confusion for those who are left behind, so it is important to understand how to approach these very sensitive situations.

Speak of the Deceased in the Present
During funeral services, memorials and wakes for those who passed of unplanned circumstances, family and friends will often still be processing the loss of their loved one. Rather than using the past tense, referring to the individual in the present tense, such as "He is a great person," can help ease this transition. It is also appropriate to use the deceased's name in conversation as a way to show that while they have left, their memory lives on.

Do Not Inquire About Circumstances
In cases of unexpected death, many may wonder how an individual passed away as a way to understand why the loss has occurred. However, probing about the circumstances of the death is inappropriate, as it often forces individuals to relive the details of an event, rather than focus on celebrating the life of the deceased.

It is also inappropriate to ask family members about future circumstances, such as how they will move forward. Instead, simply offer support and ask if there is any way you can help.

Offer a Sense of Normalcy
Survivors of an unexpected death often experience shock and uncertainty - feeling as if the loss has turned their world upside down. For those attending any services for the deceased, it is important to help these individuals feel supported as possible. Behaving as naturally as possible can help family and friends move forward.

Ways to Support Breast Cancer Patients and Honor Those We Have Lost

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 17:43:49 GMT

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. If you would like to help support those going through breast cancer treatment, here are some ideas.

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. About 276,000 women and 2,600 men will be diagnosed with breast cancer this year. Because breast cancer is so common, it is likely that someone you know has been, or will be, affected by the disease.

If you would like to help support those going through breast cancer treatment, here are some ideas.

1) Donate to charities. There are many to choose from. You might choose one that focuses on patient support or an organization that does clinical research.

2) Offer your help. Don’t be afraid to offer your specific help to someone going through treatment. Offer some suggestions of things you know they likely need such as drive their kids somewhere, grocery shop, walk the dog or clean their kitchen. And don’t forget to keep offering to help. The longer someone is in treatment, the more help they will need.

3) Donate clothing. Many oncologists welcome gifts of scarves, hats and blankets for their patients. Just ask ones in your area if they are accepting donations.

4) Write letters and cards. You can send cards or letters to your friends. Or write some encouraging notes and drop them at a treatment center for patients to receive.

5) Drive them to treatment. Appointments can be difficult and fill a cancer patient with anxiety. It can help to have a friendly face to talk to.

6) Be there to listen. Make sure to check in just to talk and listen, even if it's over the phone or via text. Let the patient know you are thinking about them.

7) Deliver meals. Chemo treatment is very exhausting. Help provide food by cooking or ordering takeout.

8) Help motivate them. Tell jokes, talk about the positive things that are going on in your lives, share funny videos, and provide encouragement.

Unfortunately, sometimes the unthinkable happens and we lose someone we love to breast cancer. If that is the case, we have many helpful articles in our database about how to handle grief and/or support someone who is going through the grieving process.

You may also want to honor the memory of a loved one who has passed away from breast cancer. In that case, you might consider doing some of the above options for others who are currently going through treatment themselves.

Healing Through Meditation

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 17:39:45 GMT

As you seek healthy and holistic ways to navigate the grieving process, one practice to consider is meditation.

As you seek healthy and holistic ways to navigate the grieving process, one practice to consider is meditation. Even if you have never tried meditation before, you may find it to be beneficial to you in more ways than one.

For example, meditation can teach you how to get your mind "unstuck" from a particular topic or feeling - the upshot of which is better rest, less time spent tossing and turning and trying to turn your brain off.

Meditation can have some profound benefits to your physical health, as well - alleviating headaches, muscle tension, and unsettled feelings in your stomach. Many experts will tell you that meditation boosts your immune system, too; during a season of life where stress leaves your body weakened and vulnerable, this immune system boost can help you stay well.

Additionally, meditation can help you cultivate mental resilience; it won't take away your sadness or grief, but it may help you create a mental barrier against trauma and anxiety.

Finally, as you spend time in meditation, you may find that it enriches your sense of empathy and your ability to connect with other people in your life who are mourning - all of which helps you to feel less alone. The tricky part is actually getting started with meditation. One option is to enroll in a local class or ask members of your grief support group for a recommendation. There are also some good apps and online videos that will guide you through mindfulness meditation and focused breathing exercises.

Consider meditation; even if you're skeptical, you may ultimately find it to be a powerful way to relax your body, fortify your mind, and put your emotional well-being first.

Requesting Military Honors for a Deceased Veteran: Determining Eligibility

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 17:36:01 GMT

It is a beautiful thing - the ability to truly honor a veteran who has served their country upon the event of their passing.

"A hero is someone who has given his or her life to something bigger than oneself." - Joseph Campbell

In order to verify eligibility for military honors, a family is required to provide a copy of the veteran's form DD-214, Certificate of Release or Discharge from Active Duty. This form is available online through the National Archives . However, if the form is not available, any discharge document showing anything other than dishonorable service can be used to begin the process.

A further discussion will be held in a future article regarding what military funeral honors entails and what you can expect to see at a deceased veteran's funeral service. If you are interested in learning more about military honors for your loved one, please contact one of our trusted funeral directors.

Understanding Islamic Funeral Traditions

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 17:32:02 GMT

Different religious traditions bring with them different funeral rites and Islam is certainly no exception.

Different religious traditions bring with them different funeral rites - and Islam is certainly no exception. With America's Muslim population growing larger each year, funeral directors across the country are working to ensure proper understanding of, and sensitivity toward, Islamic funeral customs.

The Muslim funeral tradition actually starts before death occurs; when death is imminent, it is customary for family members to gather around the dying person in a show of solidarity and kindness, and to encourage the dying person to recite the "shahada" an Islamic prayer.

Islamic custom states that it is important to bury the deceased as quickly as possible - so funeral planning generally commences immediately after death.

As for how the body is treated, Islamic custom is a little complex. Routine autopsies are technically forbidden, as they are seen as desecrations of the body, though most Muslims accept organ donation as a way to contribute to the lives of others. Embalming and cosmetology are generally frowned upon, but allowed in the states where such things are legally mandated. Cremation is forbidden by the Muslim faith.

In preparing bodies for burial, Muslims wash and shroud the body. Because it is important to bury the body as quickly as possible, there is usually not a viewing before the funeral. The funeral itself consists of a series of prayers, recited with mourners faced toward Mecca. Prayers are also said as the body is buried. Many Muslim families will gather to receive visitors after the funeral and the interment.

The Islamic funeral tradition is marked with reverence for the deity and esteem for the physical body - and as such, these services and traditions can be gratifying for the mourners assembled, particularly those who share this faith.

Understanding Jewish Funeral Terms

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 17:25:19 GMT

Each religion has its own customs for mourning and burial of the deceased. In the Jewish faith, there are specific rites and acts that are followed beginning as soon as the person passes.

Each religion has its own customs for mourning and burial of the deceased. In the Jewish faith, there are specific rites and acts that are followed beginning as soon as the person passes. If you have not experienced a Jewish funeral before, the traditions and terminology can be confusing. Understanding certain Hebrew terms can bring more meaning to the process.

The body is buried in a simple wooden casket known as an aron. A shomer is someone who sits with the body until burial, never leaving it alone. Sometimes the shomer is part of the Chevrah Kadishaor "Holy Society” that may assist the funeral home or rabbi with arrangements. The Chevrah Kadisha may also prepare the body by washing it prior to burial, known as rechitzah. Following the sacred washing, the body is covered in a white linen shroud known as a kittel, sargenes, or tachrichim.

Immediate family members wear black ribbons over their heart or a tear in their clothing to honor the deceased, a practice known as keriah.Following the funeral, a hespeid or eulogy is given and a prayer called El Malei Rachamim is recited. At graveside, the Kaddish or mourners’ doxology is said, then Kvurah B’kara or burial in the ground takes place. The grave is a kever, and the headstone a matzava.

After the funeral and burial, family members enter Shiva, a seven-day mourning period. Close friends and family may pay a Shiva call, meaning they visit the home of the family to share their condolences. After Shiva, families begin Shloshim, or a time of re-entry into society where daily activities resume. The annual anniversary of the person’s passing is recognized as yahrzeit.

7 Ways that Being in Hospice Care is Different from Being in the Hospital

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 17:21:33 GMT

Being in hospice care sounds very similar to being in the hospital to most people. If you have not had a personal experience with hospice care, or know someone who has, you may not be aware of the difference.

What is hospice care exactly?

Hospice offers palliative care for patients and support for their families. Hospice is not curative. Unlike a hospital, where people go for treatment to get well, hospice is for patients who have decided to forgo curative care. Hospice care focuses on pain and symptom management.

What are the differences between hospice and hospital care?

1. Cost – Being in a hospital, especially long-term, can be very expensive, even if a patient has insurance. Most patients in hospice care qualify for Medicare, even if they are under 65. This is because they are not able to work due to illness/disability. Once you are certified for Medicare hospice care, there are no deductibles and virtually no co-pays. You are not denied medication due to cost either. Hospice care relieves patients and their families of much financial stress due to treatment costs.

2. Personalization – In a hospital, it is likely that you will see any number of doctors and nurses. Even though hospitals try very hard to make patients feel like they are receiving personal treatment, it can still be difficult with so many patients. In hospice care, the patient receives treatment daily from the same staff members for the most part. It can be comforting and helpful to be able to know your medical caregivers on a more personal level.

3. In-depth Visits - Sometimes doctor and nurse visits in a hospital setting can feel rushed. When a patient is receiving hospice care, staff are generally able to take their time when working with a patient.

4. Location, location, location – When you are under the care of a hospital, you are required to stay in the hospital for most treatments. With hospice care patients can receive treatment at home. They will be surrounded by friends and family who can participate in caregiving. But they are still eligible for every level of medical support available. Hospice doctors and nurse or techs come to the patient’s home, allowing them to receive treatment in a more comfortable setting.

5. Care can be given in other settings - Sometimes a person is in a nursing home setting long before they need hospice. In this case, hospice care can be initiated in a nursing home just as effectively as in a personal home.

6. Hospice staff work with nursing home patients - Once a person in a nursing home becomes a hospice patient the hospice professionals take charge. Again, this allows for a more personal level of care for the patient. This is not an accident – it’s the law. The laws governing hospice care in a nursing home are detailed and strict.

7. A variety of wrap around supports - Whether a person is in a home care, a nursing home, or hospice in-patient setting, all of the staff, including doctors and nurses, are dedicated to helping each person under their care live their last days free of pain and discomfort. Staff members know that the patient’s feelings, fears, and prayers are a priority. The focus on supporting the patient wholly, including bodily and mental health support.

Eight Important Differences Between Hospice Care and Palliative Care

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 17:17:49 GMT

Eight Important Differences Between Hospice Care and Palliative Care

Many people have at least heard of Hospice Care and have a general idea of how it works. But fewer people have heard of Palliative Care.

Perhaps this is because Hospice has been around as a medical concept and practice much longer than Palliative Care.

It is important to understand the differences between these two medical options if a loved one develops a serious illness and winds up under medical care. This will let you be able to discuss both options with family and their medical team, as well as with health insurance professionals.

Key differences between Hospice Care and Palliative Care

1. Location - Hospice Care is most often given by a team of doctors, nurses, and therapists at the patient’s home. Palliative Care is most often, given at the place where the person is receiving medical treatment. This may be a hospital, nursing home, or extended care facility.

2. Requirements - A person is enrolled in Hospice Care by their physician after he or she determines that the patient has a terminal illness. This means they are unlikely to live more than another six months. A decision for Palliative Care does not require that a person must be terminally ill. It only requires that a patient must have reached a point where they a suffering and in pain. The patient needs special care and medications to give them some relief.

3. Medicare Coverage - When a person is enrolled in Hospice Care and has Medicare, all treatment and support services are paid for by Medicare Part A. If the patient had Medicare Part B, they must give it up. When a person is enrolled in Palliative Care and has both Medicare Parts A & B they keep all benefits from both programs.

4. Amount of Care - In Hospice Care if a person needs 24/7 care, the Hospice team of doctors, nurses and therapists are on hand to provide it. In a Palliative Care setting although medical assistance is always on call, they are not necessarily by the person’s bedside 24/7.

5. Insurance Coverage - In Hospice Care everything a person needs is handled through a single program. This includes things like medications, daily care, medical equipment, counseling, symptom treatment, and counseling. In Palliative Care there may be multiple providers involved, each with their own eligibility, level of care, and billing procedures.

6. Co-pays - With Hospice Care, everything the patient needs is paid for by Medicare Part A. Sometimes there is a maximum co-pay of no more than $5 for very expensive medications, but that’s it. With Palliative Care, what things are covered, and the patient responsibility varies depending on their insurance.

7. Prescription Coverage - In Hospice Care under Medicare Part A most prescriptions are fully covered. With Palliative Care, prescriptions coverage and patient responsibility are determined by the patient’s insurance coverage.

**Important note for Veterans: If a Veteran is enrolled in "Tricare For Life” they will generally find that most of their prescriptions are paid for by the VA (even if they do not have Medicare Part D). However, to enroll in "Tricare For Life” at age 65 they must have also enrolled in BOTH Medicare Parts A & B when they became eligible at age 65.**

8. Use of Life-prolonging Therapies - In Hospice care, life-prolonging therapies are usually not part of the medical treatment program. This is because to be enrolled in Hospice in the first place, it must have determined that the person has a limited life expectancy. In Palliative Care no such limitations exist. Life-prolonging as well as health-recovery medical treatments can continue alongside Palliative Care. However, the cost and type of treatment available may be subject to the requirements of the person’s insurance coverage.

Do I Need Medicare Part B To receive Hospice Care?

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 17:04:39 GMT

There are four parts to Medicare.

Part A provides inpatient and hospital coverage.
Part B provides outpatient and medical coverage.
Part C offers an alternative way to receive your Medicare benefits. This is a type pf health plan offered by a private company that contracts with Medicare.
Part D provides prescription drug coverage.

Even though it may seem counterintuitive, since hospice care is typically delivered out of a hospital, Hospice care is fully covered under Medicare Part A. You automatically receive starting Medicare Part A at age 65. So, you do NOT need Medicare Part B to receive Hospice care. With Medicare Part A, there are no costs for hospice care at home or in a hospice in-patient facility.

However, if you are receiving hospice care and ONLY have Medicare Part A, you are not covered for any illness or condition that is not directly related to the terminal condition.

Why you may want to consider enrolling in Medicare Part B.

Let’s say you are over 65 and diagnosed with terminal cancer that limits your life expectancy to six months or less. You will receive hospice benefits under Part A.

However, let’s say that you also have Diabetes. This is a serious but not terminal disease. In this case, since you are in hospice care, the Diabetes will be treated. However, it will likely be with fewer benefits than you could receive under Part B, as the diabetes is not related to your terminal condition. If you want to make sure that you are going to receive coverage for Diabetes treatment, then you would want to make sure to have Medicare Part B coverage.

This brings up a critical issue for Veterans. When your Tricare coverage ends at age 65, you become eligible for "Tricare For Life”, but ONLY if you are enrolled in both Medicare Parts A & B.

However, when you enter hospice you do not have to give up "Tricare For Life”, which is very similar in coverage to Medicare Part B. You will continue to receive "Tricare For Life” benefits no matter what happens.

This can mean significant additional financial protection for both the Veteran or spouse enrolled in hospice and their family.

Other benefits to signing up for both Medicare Part B and Part A.

No Enrollment Charges: If you are enrolled in Medicare A & B, you can also get into "Tricare For Life” with no enrollment charge. This means that if you later develop a terminal illness and enter hospice care with additional, non-terminal conditions you will have multiple financial backups for treatment of those conditions along with hospice.

Secondary Coverage Protection: Tricare For Life offers secondary coverage that kicks in after you receive Medicare Parts A & B benefits and acts like Medicare Supplement or "MediGap” insurance. This means that there is normally no need for a Veteran to consider expensive Medicare supplement insurance. And if a veteran does go into hospice care, the medical care they need outside of that terminal illness will be well-covered.

Extended Prescription Coverage: Tricare For Life offers prescription drug coverage. A Veteran who is under hospice care who needs prescription drugs to treat other non-terminal conditions doesn’t need expensive Medicare Part D coverage for drugs to treat the non-terminal condition This is also true if a Veteran is not in hospice. With "Tricare For Life” you may never need Medicare Part D.

No Penalties for Late Enrollment: If for any reason a Veteran with Tricare For Life decides that they do want Medicare Part D drug coverage too, even after the initial enrollment period has passed, having Tricare For Life is considered "creditable drug coverage.” This means that the Veteran does not have to pay the penalty for late Part D enrollment. This may occur if the Veteran’s terminal illness worsens other nonterminal problems they have that require increasingly expensive medication.

Like most health insurance programs, Tricare For Life is complicated when you are starting from scratch. To help you get up to speed, you can download the official Tricare for Life handbook found on the Tricare Website ( https://www.tricare.mil/ ).

Ten Astonishing Medicare Benefits for Hospice Patients

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 17:00:39 GMT

Let’s look at some amazing benefits that a sick person can receive under hospice care, which are different from Medicare.

Medicare recipients know that there are quite a few benefits that Medicare Parts A & B don’t cover, such as medical equipment. There may also be things that you have to pay extra for, such as prescription medicines under the optional (and expensive) Part D.

Medicare recipients also know that there is always a co-pay for doctor’s visits. And that there are a lot of medical procedures that either have very high co-pays, aren’t covered at all, or are difficult to obtain.

The good news is that this all changes when a person’s doctor approves them for admittance to hospice.

Let’s look at some amazing benefits that a sick person can receive under hospice care, which are different from Medicare.

1. Most hospice doctor-prescribed medications are no-cost, and the highest co-pay is $5.

2. No Medicare Part D is needed for hospice medicines.

3. Hospice does not "ration” painkillers and other needed medications, regardless of cost.

4. All hospice doctor, nurse, therapist, or aide home visits are no-cost and no co-pay.

5. Emergency medical transportation in the event of a crisis that requires transfer to a hospice-approved medical facility from home is no-cost and no co-pay.

6. All medical equipment ordered by hospice such as a hospital bed or transfer equipment like a Hoyer lift or wheelchair, is no cost and no copay.

7. Hospice provides "respite” care at no charge so that family members taking care of the patient in their home can get take up to 5 days off. The patient is simply transferred to hospice in-patient care for the family’s respite period.

8. Hospice provides licensed professional counseling to both the patient and family members who are caring for the patient at no charge.

9. In instances where the patient is in severe, crisis-level, uncontrolled pain and suffering, hospice can provide 24-hour continuous care at home, at no charge. This continuous care only continues until the crisis has passed, if and when it does.

10. Hospice can train and approve family members to administer medications, including narcotics when needed, without exposing the family members to any legal consequences.

These are only some of the major differences between the benefits that a person on Medicare with normal illness or disease can receive, versus what a person who is placed under hospice care can receive. Family members should always ask the hospice doctors and nurses for whatever supportive care they think is needed. It is very likely their request will be honored.

Six Things to Know before Choosing A Hospice Provider

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 16:56:51 GMT

Not all hospice organizations are equal. It is important to make sure that the hospice organization you choose is a good fit for your family and your situation.

The internet is full or both heart-warming and heart-breaking stories of hospice experiences. There is one thing that everyone agrees on – the more information you have, the better decision you will make.

When a doctor decides that your loved one needs at-home or in-patient hospice care, it is important to be ready to seek out some key pieces of information:

1. Seek experience from others - Ask people know who have had a family member in hospice care what their experience was like with each of the hospices available. You can also use the internet to read reviews of the hospice organizations you are considering. But remember to read these reviews with a critical eye. People are more likely to write negative reviews than positive ones. A few negative reviews can skew the review score if an organization only has a few reviews. And a bunch of glowing, positive reviews may not be reflective of the actual organization either, as it is unlikely that every client is happy all the time.

2. Check for Accreditation - Is the hospice state-licensed AND accredited by one of the national organizations like "Joint Commission for Accreditation of Health Care Agencies” or "Community Health Accreditation Program”? It may mean some time writing emails or talking on the phone, but you need to get in touch with both the licensing and accrediting organizations and ask about each hospice you are considering. Here are some things to ask:

Do they have a history of complaints?
Have they ever been sanctioned, fined, or otherwise punished for breaking the rules?
Have they ever been the subject of any official investigation and if so, by who and what for?

3. Confirm referrals and recommendations - Many hospices are connected with other community institutions like hospitals or nursing homes. Make an appointment with the administrators and find out why they choose this hospice to work with. Ask if they ever choose other hospice providers or if they always use the one they are affiliated with.

4. Ask the tough questions - Make an appointment with the administrator of each hospice and ask:

What do they expect from the family?
Are they fully staffed at every level?
Are they able to provide every level of care both at-home and for in-patients?
Are they able to respond to a 3 AM weekend crisis at home, and what is their expected response time?
Are they able to provide references – families of former patients you can talk with?

5. Find out what their processes are - If your loved one will begin with at-home hospice care, does the hospice have its own in-patient facility when/if needed? If not, where do their in-patients go? Make sure to visit and evaluate either their in-house facility or any facility that they use.

6. Ask about training and level of care -

Are physicians/nurses are trained and qualified for palliative care?
Are there any circumstances in which they believe that pain medication should be limited?
Are they staffed and equipped to go beyond the Medicare required medical services if needed by a patient?
Are they prepared to individualize a patient’s dietary & religious preferences?

Hospice Patients in Nursing Homes - What Everyone's Family Needs to Know

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 16:43:23 GMT

Many people believe that hospice care is only available for a terminally ill person living at home or in a hospice in-patient facility. But hospice is also available for nursing home residents.

Many people believe that hospice care is only available for a terminally ill person living at home or in a hospice in-patient facility. But hospice is also available for nursing home residents. A doctor must be the one to determine if someone is eligible for hospice care.

Once a doctor has certified that a person in a nursing home is eligible to be enrolled in hospice care, the hospice becomes responsible for providing and overseeing that person’s care in the nursing home.

By law, the nursing facility is considered the person’s "home” and the hospice must provide care equivalent to what the person would receive in their own home or in a hospice in-patient facility.

This type of hospice care is covered under Medicare. There are virtually no co-pays for medications, equipment, or specialized medical care.

This includes:

1. Ensuring that the nursing home staff provides care according to a detailed "hospice care plan” that hospice sets up with the nursing home administrators.

2. Making sure that all nursing home staff provide hospice-level care rather than care that just meets routine nursing home standards.

3. Monitoring the nursing home to ensure that all the patient’s needs are being met and all their hospice-related rights are being protected.

4. Providing hospice staff in the nursing home, including physicians, nurses and aides, to provide care in any crisis that is beyond the nursing home capabilities.

5. Providing hospice-level care until the crisis is resolved. This can mean anything from increased frequency of hospice staff visits to round-the- clock care by hospice staff in the nursing home. It can also include transfer to a better equipped medical facility.

There have been instances when nursing homes have resisted a family’s desire to have their loved one enrolled in hospice care for some reason.

If this happens, the family’s best approach is not to argue with the nursing home but to talk directly with the patient’s doctor. If the doctor orders the person admitted to hospice care, then by law hospice takes over and the patient will receive the 100% of the hospice-level care they need.

Have You Had the OTHER Talk?

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 16:40:50 GMT

At family gatherings, discussing one's last wishes is normally not on the conversation list ... but maybe it should be.

They say you're not supposed to talk about religion and politics at the table; but there's one thing people like talking about even less: their final wishes. The idea of sitting down with your mom and dad and discussing end-of-life issues likely isn't your idea of fun, but consider the alternative.

The alternative is that, one day, Mom or Dad passes away, and you are left totally unprepared and emotionally vulnerable during a difficult process with little planning. You want to plan and orchestrate a meaningful end-of-life event for your parent - a memorial service or a life celebration that will be just what your parents would have wanted. There's just one problem: You have no idea what they would have wanted because you never spoke with them about it during their lives.

Consider this as the first of hopefully many meaningful conversations going forward. The goal is to at least start the conversation.

Tips for Having the Conversation

Your parents have been around for a while and have experienced quite a bit in their lives. Don't always assume that they have not, at least, started thinking about their final wishes.
Ask them to help you make some decisions about the things in your life such as children and the rest of family. They might share some insight about their wishes, as well.
Plan an outing or project together to help make the conversation easier. Perhaps something you know they have always wanted to do. That way you can spend time together, talk about the past, and discuss what the future holds.
Offer to help them do something at their home or organize an event like cleaning out an old storage closet or attic. You might run across some memorable items that start a conversation about plans for the future.
Talk to your siblings and gather their insight. In order to do this, a gathering or celebration may be in order. Sometimes spending time together as a family often opens the conversation about plans for the future.

If you have any questions of are ready to discuss options for formalizing a plan, please feel free to reach out to us. We would be honored to assist you and your family.

Why is it Important to Work with a Licensed Funeral Director?

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 16:37:45 GMT

Make sure you are working with a licensed funeral director before beginning any of your funeral planning.

When meeting with a funeral director, one of the most important things to check is that you are working with a licensed funeral director. All funeral directors must be licensed by their state to practice.

Funeral directors undergo an enormous amount of training. Most states require a post-high school degree, often in mortuary science. Funeral directors must typically pass both a National and State Board certification exam.

After finishing school, apprentice funeral directors must be supervised by a fully licensed funeral director until they themselves are licensed. Apprentice funeral directors on a provisional license must perform a set number of burial, cremation, and/or embalming cases under supervision.

Typically, an apprentice funeral director must submit proof of their internship to a state board which will review the information and decide whether they are eligible to receive their license.

Working with a licensed funeral director ensures that you are working with a highly knowledgeable and experienced professional who understands all the legalities that come with a funeral, burial or cremation.

Additionally, a portion of the funeral charges you pay covers the fees associated with working with your funeral director. You are paying for their experience, the fact that they know all the legalities surrounding the burial or cremation of your loved one, and the responsibilities that they are taking on in caring for your loved one.

If you want to know if the funeral director you are working with is licensed, you can always ask. In most states, funeral directors are required to display their license in the funeral home. You may also be able to go on your state’s Funeral Service Commission website and complete a search to verify that your funeral director of choice is licensed.

If, for some reason, a family realizes that they have not been working with a licensed funeral director, they should file a report with the Funeral Service Commission in their state.

Make sure you are working with a licensed funeral director before beginning any of your funeral planning.

What Exactly Does a Funeral Director Do?

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 16:35:25 GMT

Funeral directors have challenging and complex jobs. There are many other things that a funeral director will take care of for you in addition to simply planning the service.

Funeral directors have challenging and complex jobs. A funeral director’s job is to arrange all aspects of your loved one’s service in a way that honors your loved one’s legacy, but there are many other things that a funeral director will take care of for you in addition to simply planning the service.

It is important to make sure you are working with a licensed funeral director. Becoming a funeral director takes years of education and hands-on training. Funeral directors must pass exams and be licensed to operate.

A funeral director is there to listen and comfort families during the start of their grief journey. Funeral directors can provide information for grief support resources as well.

A funeral director will arrange for transportation of the deceased if necessary. Funeral directors know whom to contact to help transport your loved one as well as what paperwork is involved.

If you choose to have a burial, your funeral director will prepare the body of your loved one for viewing and burial. They will also aide with the necessary legal paperwork and be present at the burial, as required by law. If you choose to have a cremation, your funeral director will manage that process as well, including the paperwork, authorizations, and permitting necessary.

If you choose to manage some of the memorial events yourself, your funeral director will have access to reliable resources to assist you, such as venues and vendors – everything from flowers to catering.

There is also a great deal of paperwork that funeral directors must submit. One of the most important forms that funeral directors will submit for you is a formal death certificate, which is necessary to claim important government death benefits. If your loved one was a veteran, they will also help you file the paperwork necessary for military funeral benefits.

Becoming a licensed funeral director takes years of hard work and dedication, but for most the payoff is immeasurable. Being a funeral director is a calling and supporting families during some of the most challenging days of their lives is what makes their profession so rewarding.

How Do I Select a Funeral Home?

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 16:33:03 GMT

One of the first decisions a family makes upon a loved one's passing is which funeral home to use. Depending on where you live or where the funeral will take place - you may have many options. Not all funeral homes offer the same services or prices.

One of the first decisions a family makes upon a loved one's passing is which funeral home to use. Depending on where you live or where the funeral will take place – you may have many options. Not all funeral homes offer the same services or prices, so it’s a good idea to compare and find what works best for your needs.

When choosing a funeral home, consider where the funeral will be and pick something local. Consider any religious affiliations and whether the funeral home works with specific cemeteries or has their own. If your loved one is being cremated, does the funeral home offer a crematory, or do they outsource this service?

Ask for a general price list so that you can compare your options. Funeral homes are required to provide pricing. If the cost of caskets or urns is not included on the general price list, ask to see these prices as well. Some funeral homes offer package deals but should still tell you the à la carte prices of each service. Funerals can range greatly in cost depending on what you want included, so have a budget in mind.

Check into available services. Are they able to accommodate all of your wishes? Do they offer certain religious elements that are important to you? Talk through what you are looking for and see how things measure up. Don’t feel pressured into making decisions.

Consider the customer service you’re provided when comparing funeral homes. Which one made you feel the most comfortable? Who seemed most responsive to your wishes and concerns? What services fit best with your religious preferences and budget? When selecting a funeral home, do your research, ask questions, and pick the one that fits best with your family’s needs.

What are the options for memorializing cremated ashes?

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 16:28:59 GMT

Did you know that about 20% of people have the ashes of a loved one sitting at home?

Did you know that about 20% of people have the ashes of a loved one sitting at home? Often, people keep the ashes of a loved one at home because they aren’t sure what else to do with them.

While this can seem like a good idea shortly after a loved one passes, it is important to consider what happens later. If there isn’t a public spot to visit, what will other family members do when they want to visit their loved one? How will future generations connect with their heritage? What if you move? And what happens once you yourself pass away?

You may think that once your loved one has passed away that it is too late to memorialize the cremated remains, but that is not the case.

Cemeteries are a wonderful place to memorialize cremated remains. Giving your loved one a final resting spot in a cemetery is helpful for several reasons. First, it keeps your loved one’s ashes safe and secure. It also gives the rest of your family a spot to visit to honor your loved one. And it will give grandchildren and great-grandchildren a way to learn about their own family history.

There are quite a few options these days for how cremated remains can be memorialized in a cemetery. Urns can be buried in the ground with a marker, just the way a casket can be buried. Most cemeteries also have a building called a columbarium where the urns can be placed in a niche with a name plaque. Glass front niches are a great option because they also allow you to place special mementos in the niche along with the urn, such as jewelry, service medals, photographs, instruments or religious items. Ashes can be scattered in a large field called an ossuary and your loved one’s name can be inscribed on a marker near the field.

Choose a cemetery nearby where you would like to inter the ashes of your loved one. Then, coordinate with the cemetery to hold a memorial service. Cemeteries are very willing to accommodate families who are choosing to hold memorials to inter the ashes of a loved one, even if quite a bit of time has passed. You can even pick a special day such as an anniversary, birthday or holiday to hold the memorial service to make it more special.

Just remember, it is never too late to celebrate and honor your loved ones.

How to write a memorable obituary

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 16:23:18 GMT

While writing an obituary is a difficult task at any point, it can be especially difficult to do when dealing with the frenzy of funeral planning.

Reading through obituaries in the local paper or online you may discover that many are little more than a list of names and dates. Often, they have no personality or character. Perhaps you are wanting to write an obituary that truly captures your loved one. While this is a difficult task at any point, it can be especially difficult to do when dealing with the frenzy of funeral planning. However, that shouldn’t stop you from writing a more memorable obituary if that is what you wish to do.

Here are some tips to write a memorable obituary.

1. Ask yourself (or family members) some of these open-ended questions.

What were your loved one’s greatest accomplishments?
What were your loved one’s favorite hobbies?
How would you describe your loved one’s personality?
What things mattered most to your loved one? What got them excited?

2. Write down key facts. If you’re having trouble getting started, start with the basic information. Key facts include things like birth date, birthplace, family members including parents and siblings, age and date of death. You can also add things like marriage details, children (names and spouses), employment and retirement information. These details on their own will make for a pretty basic obituary, but they are a good place to start. From there you can add more personal touches.

3. Start with a story. Is there a moment or event that really defined who your loved one was? You can start your obituary with a brief recount of this story.

4. Reach out to friends and family for memorable stories. Talk to other family members. They may be able to jog your memory or share a story you haven’t heard before.

5. Don’t be afraid to inject a little humor and personality into your obituary. Don’t be afraid to let the person’s personality shine through. If your loved one was a jokester, you may want to add some funny and memorable stories into your obituary. However, in some instances humor may be inappropriate. Use your judgement.

6. Tell what you’ll remember most about your loved one.

7. Don’t forget to include the service details. When and where will the funeral and/or memorial service be held? Make sure to let people reading know the details.

Why is it important to have a funeral service?

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 16:18:41 GMT

Rituals are symbolic ceremonies that help us express our feelings about important life events.

When a loved one passes away, funeral services fill some important needs.

As far back as you can go in human history, you will find funeral rituals.

Rituals are symbolic ceremonies that help us express our feelings about important life events. They unite us and help us feel at ease, as they typically follow an established order. In these ever-changing times, more than ever, traditional rituals like funerals play an essential part in our lives.

1. Funerals help us honor our loved one’s memory. Funerals allow us to show our love for someone. Even though that person may no longer be with us, we are able to honor them and show others how much we care.

2. Funerals allow us to begin the healing process. When someone passes away, we feel grief. In order for us to start to heal we must be able to mourn. Funerals allow us to express our grief in a safe and supportive environment. Those who avoid having a funeral often express that their grief feels "put on hold.”

3. Funerals offer hope for the living. Coming together to remember the blessings of a life well-lived can provide us with hope. Even though funerals are sad occasions, sharing memories and stories of a loved one can help us feel some closure and help us feel hopeful about the future.

4. Funerals provide a support system. There’s a reason why funerals involve other members of our families and communities. They publicly announce our loss and allow others to step in to help support us and lift us up. This is why it is common for others to send flowers, prepare meals and help with simple daily tasks following a loss.

5. Funerals allow the community to pay its respects. It’s important to remember that others are grieving too. While the death of a family member is a very personal loss, other family members, friends, coworkers, and acquaintances are likely also feeling grief during this time. The funeral service allows for the community as whole to express their grief.

Does a funeral home report a death to social security?

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 16:12:02 GMT

Reporting a person's death to social security is an important step. In most cases, when a loved one passes away, the funeral home reports the death to the Social Security Administration. It is important to know that while the funeral home will most likely report the death to Social Security, there are still several reasons why you will want to contact the agency yourself.

Reporting a person’s death to social security is an important step.

In most cases, when a loved one passes away, the funeral home reports the death to the Social Security Administration. When you meet with a funeral director following the death of a loved one, they will ask for the deceased’s name and social security number. After this, they will typically input that information into a system that connects to Social Security.

It is important for families to make sure that the name and social security number given to the funeral home match what is in the social security system. If they don’t match, the system will kick back the request to the funeral home which will likely cause a delay in benefits. This is also why it is a good idea to keep a copy of your loved one’s social security cards in a safe place so that it can be accessed in times like these.

It is important to know that while the funeral home will most likely report the death to Social Security, there are still several reasons why you will want to contact the agency yourself.

One reason to contact Social Security is to receive the "burial benefit.” When someone passes away, there is typically a $255 death benefit available from Social Security. This is a one-time lump-sum available to the surviving spouse or a child if there is no surviving spouse. There are some restrictions on who can receive the benefit, however. Keep in mind that you must apply for the benefit; it is not automatic. It is also important to know that the funeral home does not apply for this benefit on your behalf. To apply you will either need to call the national service line or your local Social Security office.

You may also be eligible for other monthly benefits, but this will depend on your relationship to the deceased as well as their prior work history. Once again, you will need to contact Social Security to find out what benefits you may be eligible for.

It is also possible that you may be required to return the deceased’s last Social Security check, so that is an important question to ask the Social Security office.

For more information, or if you have any questions, you can ask your funeral director or contact the Social Security Administration by phone or fax.

Creative Options for Funeral Services With Social Distancing

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 16:09:57 GMT

Funeral homes are coming up with innovative solutions to make sure all friends and family members of the deceased can be present in one way or another.

These days, you will likely notice that most funeral home locations are limiting the number of people who can attend a service or visitation. Because of this, funeral homes are coming up with innovative solutions to make sure all friends and family members of the deceased can be present in one way or another.

Online RSVPs

Some funeral homes have started to allow for online RSVPs. This means that a three-hour visitation might be broken down into three 1-hour time slots. Each time slot will have a set number guests that can RSVPs to attend at that particular time. Guests can then go online to sign up to attend at the time that is most convenient for them.

This RSVP system gives families the ability to limit the number of people coming in at one time. It also gives visitors the ability to see how many people will be present at a certain time. If visitors wish to go at a less crowded time, they would have the ability to choose a time slot with fewer visitors scheduled.

This also gives funeral homes and families flexibility. If time slots fill up quickly, they can extend the visitation time if desired. Scheduling also allows the funeral homes times to clean and sanitize between visitor groups.

Another benefit of this process is that it works like an online guest book. When visitors sign up, they can give their contact information so grieving families will have names and addresses to know who to send thank you cards to.

Live Streaming

Another advantage of living in the digital age is the ability to live stream a funeral service. Many services are limited to a certain number of guests due to social distancing. Friends and family may not easily be able to travel at this time. Live streaming a service is a wonderful way to allow everyone to still be present, even if they cannot attend in person. Many funerals can set up a camera to not only record the service but also live stream it over the internet so that others can watch from afar.

While not all funeral homes offer these services, you can always ask to see what services they do offer and work with the funeral home of your choice to find some creative solutions.

What are some creative ways to personalize an outdoor service?

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 13:50:52 GMT

While it might seem that holding an outdoor service would limit your options for memorializing your loved one, this is not the case. Most anything that can be done indoors can be done outdoors as well.

These days, many families are choosing to hold their funeral and memorial services outdoors to allow for easier social distancing. While it might seem that holding an outdoor service would limit your options for memorializing your loved one, this is not the case. Most anything that can be done indoors can be done outdoors as well.

In fact, holding an outdoor service can actually allow you hold an even more creative and personalized service. For example, you could hold a service at a location that was important to your loved one. You might choose to hold a service at park or even in your own backyard. However, remember that if you hold a service in a public space that you need to ask permission and reserve the space if possible. For example, if you use a public park you would want to make sure other families are not using the space while you are trying to hold your service.

If you hold your service at a cemetery or somewhere with enough space, you could set up special stations with pictures, memorabilia, and stories. Then attendees would be able to walk around and visit the stations to learn more about the life of your loved one and remember them. This would also allow for spacing between visitors to maintain social distancing.

Being outdoors also allows for other creative elements such as a butterfly or dove release or the inclusion of special vehicles or animals.

Most common service elements are easy to set up outside as well. You can have musicians or show videos. Memorabilia can be displayed. If you want to live stream your service, that can typically be done outside.

Sanitizer stations and water stations can be set up near the service. Tents can be set up to make people more comfortable and protect them from the weather.

Whatever it is that you would like to do, make sure to talk to your funeral service provider. They have lots of experience setting up all kinds of services and will work with you to plan a beautiful and meaningful service, no matter where that service might be held.

National DNA Day: Genealogy - Trace Your Family History

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 13:47:13 GMT

We all have a story to tell ... some are told face to face, others are told long after a loved one has passed on. Know your story.

Genealogy is a wonderful way to learn more about your family history and ancestry using records and documents. The process of learning about past relatives may seem daunting at first, but the good news is that it is something that most any one can do these days. For many people, Genealogy research is an interesting and rewarding endeavor.

The first step is to talk with your living relatives and research your family as far back as possible. Ask lots of questions and make copies of photographs and other important documents. Make sure to take good notes and keep your information as organized as possible throughout the whole process.

One possibility is to visit your local library, or the library where your family members were born, to look up public records. Many larger libraries will have old birth, marriage, and death certificates in addition to tax and census records.

You can also research online as well. Some popular internet websites for records are AmericanAncestors.org , FamilySearch.org , Ancestry.com and Fold3.com (which specializes in military records).

Another possibility is to locate family graves. While you may know where some of your more immediate relatives are buried, you can also find information on where other family members are buried. This can give you information such as birth and death dates, spouses, children or other family members who may not be on your list.

If you aren’t sure where a relative is buried, a great place to start is FindAGrave.com . This is a simple, easy-to-search online directory that will allow you to input the name of your deceased loved one. It will then provide information about where your family member is buried and how to locate his or her grave.

While this database is not comprehensive, it draws on a range of resources—including military records, data from genealogy websites, and newspaper obituaries—to provide you with the location of your family member’s grave. It may also provide other helpful information such as the names of siblings, children, or parents.

You can also contact your local funeral director who may have records for family members if they were buried in the same town. He or she may also be able to access their own set of data and network connections to help you find information.

If you want to learn more about genealogy, fill out the form below and, as always, feel free to stop by our funeral home to discuss obituaries, plots and headstones with a member of our staff. We are happy to help.

What to Expect When You Call the Funeral Home

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 13:38:56 GMT

To help get your bearings and proceed with the necessary arrangement, you'll need to call the proper authorities.

Losing a loved one is never easy and can often be disorienting - even if the death is not entirely unexpected. To help get your bearings and proceed with the necessary arrangement, you'll need to call the proper authorities. Of course, this includes the funeral home director. First things first: Depending on the circumstances of the death, you may need to call either the doctor who has been treating your loved one, or simply 911. You can also try to contact the coroner directly to have an examination held and death officially declared. Note that if your loved one dies in a hospital or nursing home, the on-site staff can handle all of this.

After that, it's time to contact the funeral home director. Report what has happened and give an update on whether the coroner or examiner has released the body for transport; the funeral director cannot come to pick up the body until this has happened. Also ask about a statement of trust, which will verify the director's professionalism and general competence to help you.

Your funeral director will respect the recentness of your loss, and should not press you to make too many funeral service arrangements right off the bat. You will, however, be asked to provide some basic information about the deceased - full name, basic biographical details, and Social Security number. You might wish to stop and write some of this information down before making the call, ensuring you can convey the requested details easily.

Your next step will be contacting family members and making formal funeral arrangements - all of which will seem overwhelming in the moment, but all of which your funeral director can assist you with. That's what makes this initial phone call so vital.

The History of RIP

Fri, 15 Mar 2024 13:35:00 GMT

It's one of the most commonly used abbreviations in our culture - RIP, or rest in peace.

It’s one of the most commonly used abbreviations in our culture—RIP, or rest in peace. Not only do you notice it on headstones, but you often see it employed on social media following the death of a loved one, friend, or celebrity. Have you ever stopped to wonder, though, where this abbreviation came from?

Something that may surprise you is that those three letters haven’t always stood for rest in peace. Initially, the acronym represented a Latin phrase—requiescat in pace, which means "may [the person who has died] rest in peace.” This phrase goes back at least as far as the 8th Century when it became commonly used on Christian gravestones. In these early days, Christians intended the phrase as a kind of prayer—a request for God to be merciful to the deceased person, and for the departed soul to find eternal rest.

Eventually, of course, that Latin phrase was whittled down to three little letters; RIP became a common inscription on headstones back in the early 1600s, and it wasn’t long before its meaning was translated from Latin into English.

While the abbreviation has Christian origins, its meaning has become fairly widespread in Western culture; it represents a non-sectarian wish for the deceased to be afforded respect and for their passing to be acknowledged by well-wishers.

As you consider RIP and other ways to signify the death of a close loved one, make sure you speak to a qualified funeral director—someone who can guide you toward both timeless and contemporary expressions of mourning and bereavement.

125 Decisions We Make When Someone Dies

Thu, 14 Mar 2024 21:50:57 GMT

When a loved one passes away, there are a lot of practical matters that you have to attend to, and decisions you must make.

Our service professionals work together to minimize confusion and maximize understanding so families can make informed choices.

When a loved one passes away, it’s always emotional—in some cases traumatic. And yet, there’s not always time to sit and to grieve, at least not at first. There are a lot (more than 100) of practical matters that you have to attend to, and decisions you must make, to ensure a proper memorial service and burial.

Just a few of these tasks include: Gathering the proper paperwork; Completing the necessary documentation; Calling relatives and friends; Communicating with the funeral home; Paying for the necessary services; Attending to all necessary funeral arrangements.

Planning a funeral for a loved one requires organization in the midst of grief and sadness. You will want to consult with one of our caring funeral directors to help you with understanding the most important elements of funeral planning.

It’s a lot to take in, and during a season of grief, it can be difficult to remember everything. That is why our funeral home staff is here to help you every step of the way. We know the tasks that must be completed and can help facilitate all of them.

No Text is Worth It

Thu, 14 Mar 2024 21:48:52 GMT

Texting and driving has been an issue for pedestrians and motorists since the invention of the cellphone.

PLEASE DON'T TEXT AND DRIVE

Texting and driving has been an issue for pedestrians and motorists since the invention of the cellphone. And while talking on the phone and driving is more easily fixed with the invention and accessibility of Bluetooth technologies, texting and driving is a still a major motorist concern. It isn't a concern for just teens but for adults as well. About half of all motorists on the road report texting and driving at least once, despite many states cracking down on the dangerous behavior.

While many states use aggressive fines and jail time to curtail texting and driving, nearly 1/3 of all young adults and teens still text and drive. Texting can raise the risk of a car accident by 23 times and falls under many other distracted driving behaviors that can lower visibility, dampen response time and take your hands off the wheel. Even glancing at your phone for just 5 seconds in a car moving at 55 mph can move your car the length of a football field without you even looking at the road. Imagine missing the entire length of a football field in just a matter of seconds and all that can happen in such a short amount of time. As someone who sees far too many lives end too soon, the dangers of texting and driving are serious and should be taken seriously by motorists and pedestrians.

There are plenty of applications and devices that you can download to you or your teen's phone like SafeDrive and DriveMode that block incoming text messages once a car is noted going over 5 mph. Bluetooth technology and voice recognition built into many cars allows you a safe and hands-free response mechanism for incoming texts messages and phone calls without taking your eyes off road. Above all, we encourage all drivers to be aware of the road conditions and your vehicle at all times to minimize distractions.

Please Drive Safely!

What Does a Funeral Director Do?

Thu, 14 Mar 2024 21:47:09 GMT

When a loved one passes away, we pick up the phone, call a funeral home, and enlist the services of a professional funeral director-almost as a matter of instinct. However, have you ever stopped to think about what it is the funeral director really does?

When a loved one passes away: we pick up the phone, call a funeral home and enlist the services of a professional funeral director almost as a matter of instinct. But have you ever considered what a funeral director really does?

A funeral director ensures a smooth, tasteful funeral service that is in accordance with the family's wishes. That is the essence and most important part of a funeral director's job.

A proper funeral director will have immense organization skills and tact. These skills are vital to their role as liaison and go-between for many different service providers like musicians, churches or religious groups and even caterers or other personalized memorialization touches.

The funeral director has important practical, legal, and social knowledge that helps them navigate the world of taking care of a deceased loved one and executing the family's wishes to the best of their ability.

But perhaps the most important role played by the funeral director is communicating with the family members, keeping them informed and walking them through key decisions, all while being mindful of their grief and sensitive to their needs. This alone makes the funeral director's role absolutely key.

A funeral director should be caring, empathetic and is a dedicated service member of the community. They strive to serve and meet the needs of each and every single family they serve. A funeral director should be able to make a very difficult time of someone's life just a little easier.

We are proud to serve our community. We know that we are the last call you want to make but we do our best to make the process of memorializing the legacy of your loved ones as simple as possible.

Who Coordinates Funeral Services During a National Emergency?

Thu, 14 Mar 2024 21:44:35 GMT

What happens when the death count is on a much broader scale - such as a death that occurred in the wake of a national tragedy or an ecological disaster?

When a loved one dies, whether at home or in the hospital, one of your first phone calls should be to the funeral home director, who can walk you through the next steps in preparing the body for burial and ultimately arranging a memorial or cremation service. But what happens when the death count is on a much broader scale - such as a death that occurred in the wake of a national tragedy or an ecological disaster?

That's where Disaster Mortuary Operational Response Teams (DMORTs) come into play. These mobile units, which include funeral professionals, are coordinated by the Department of Health and Human Services, alongside other national bodies. The role of these units is simple: to provide victim identification and mortuary services in the wake of a major crisis.

In doing so, DMORT professionals might set up temporary morgue facilities on-site, to help get bodies inspected and ready for transport. Forensic pathology and forensic anthropology might also be implemented, both to help identify victims and to name more precise causes of death.

DMORTs are comprised entirely of private citizens - and though funeral directors play a big role, these groups also include medical records technicians, coroners, medical examiners, dental assistants, finger print specialists, administrative and investigative personnel, and more. DMORTs also maintain equipment repositories on both coasts, ensuring maximum readiness.

DMORT professionals are called in during some of the most troubling and upsetting times in our country - for instance, the Sandy Hook school shooting. The professionalism that these individuals exhibit is not only compassionate, but also heroic, considering what they have to face. This isn’t glamorous work by any means, but it is important and worth thinking about - perhaps even expressing gratitude for.

Settling an Estate While You're Grieving

Thu, 14 Mar 2024 21:42:48 GMT

Is it necessary to immediately start the estate settlement process after a loved one's death?

If you're serving as the executor of an estate, or simply as the beneficiary, then it probably means you’ve just lost someone - likely someone you cared about deeply. As a result, you’re in a season of bereavement, and your emotions are running high. It is probably the worst time to take on a major new project, like settling an estate - yet this is a project that must be completed.

There are many projects to tackle and decisions to be made when a loved one dies, of course, and with most of those things, you can enlist the help of a funeral director. When it comes to settling an estate, you may wish to turn to a family lawyer, who can help you navigate some of the technicalities of the process. Even so, big decisions must be made.

You do not have to make these decisions immediately. Usually, settlement of the estate can be put on hold to allow you time to mourn and to compose yourself. Alternatively, you may wish to throw yourself into the project headlong, finding the busyness and the sense of accomplishment to offer alleviation from the grieving process.

Both of these options are acceptable, but many mourners will prefer a middle ground: don’t rush headlong into estate settlement but don’t totally delay it, either. Take a few minutes to put together a list of questions, a file of financial documents, and a list of online passwords. Start wrapping your head around the details that need to be sorted out. Then, when you’re ready, call a lawyer to begin the work of estate settlement in earnest.

Understanding the Funeral Director's Role

Thu, 14 Mar 2024 21:40:37 GMT

Our role is filled with emotions but we use those emotions to help us empathize with you and your family during one of the most difficult periods any person could go through.

There has always been the misconception that the "undertaker" or "mortician" is a cold careless role and thus a cold and careless person. That misconception couldn't be further from the truth. We do try and not get too emotionally involved but that is to help the families we work with, work through their own grief without any unnecessary emotional interference. We understand that coming into our home is the absolute last place you want to be. We understand that a funeral home is a place where you didn't think you'd be the day before. That's why we try to make our funeral home as inviting as possible.

Our role is filled with emotions but we use those emotions to help us empathize with you and your family during one of the most difficult periods any person could go through. We understand that everyone's journey with grief is different. We have also been on grief journeys of our own as we go through our days missing those that we have loved and lost.

The fact that you are here at our funeral home is priceless to me. You have trusted us with something so precious and important. We want to have the strength and courage to help you make it through the next few days and the rest of those days moving forward. We want you to know that the legacy of your family members will never be forgotten and that we did all we could to help honor that legacy.

We aren't just an undertaker or a mortician or a funeral director. We are mothers, sons, daughters, wives, husbands and members of this fine community. Our families, spouses, significant others and children understand that when the phone rings during dinner, late at night or over the holidays that it's just part of our job. We believe in the funeral industry and are proud that our staff has hundreds of years of experience and we are here for you: at any time and under any situation.

What Do I Do When a Death Occurs Away from My Home State?

Thu, 14 Mar 2024 21:38:55 GMT

When a loved one dies, there are certain steps and procedures that the surviving family members must follow in order to ensure the body is properly cared for.

When a loved one dies, there are certain steps and procedures that the surviving family members must follow in order to ensure the body is properly cared for. Depending on the circumstances of the death, these steps might include calls to local doctors or coroners, as well as arrangements made with the local funeral home.

Indeed, the process usually includes representatives from the funeral home coming to collect the body and prepare it for interment - but what happens when the death occurs and you are far from home, perhaps even in a state other than your own? This sort of thing happens more and more frequently, and it comes with some special needs and considerations.

One option is to contact a mortuary shipper, who can transport the body back to the home state. This is always a possibility, but be aware that it can prove costly. When transporting a body, there are some rigid requirements that must be met, including a lot of paperwork to fill out, and you will need to have funeral directors both at the location of the death and at the ultimate location of the funeral in order to coordinate the transfer. These expenses can sometimes lead to higher costs for the service. Funeral Directors are well-versed in these types of situations and are trained to help you find the best solutions for your family's needs and budget.

An alternative is to have a cremation done at the location of death, then arrange to have the cremated remains transported to the home state for a funeral or cremation ceremony. This is a straightforward solution that can save family members a lot of headaches, to say nothing of expense.

Talking to Children About Funerals

Thu, 14 Mar 2024 21:36:07 GMT

Parents and guardians should consider the following when deciding if bringing a child is appropriate.

Often, parents may fear that bringing a child to a funeral is inappropriate, but it is important to recognize that services can help young ones say goodbye to loved ones and show respect for the deceased. Parents and guardians should consider the following when deciding if bringing a child is appropriate:

Does the child know what to expect?
In order to ensure that your child is prepared for a funeral, take time to brief them on the subject and what the event will be like. Supporting your child through the experience is critical to ensuring they understand what is happening. Make sure to remind them that other guests may cry, and that if they feel sad that it is alright to show those emotions.

Can the child sit still?
When attending general events, children can often expect to take a break with their parent if they need one - especially if they tend to get antsy. However, it is important to explain to the child that they must be prepared to sit through the service in order to show respect for the deceased. Services can have various lengths, so be sure that your child is able to sit without causing distraction for an extended period of time.

Do they know about death?
Discovering concepts of death and mortality can be unsettling for children, and it is important to talk through these challenging ideas with them. Parents are encouraged to have a discussion about death before a service so that the child is fully aware of what is happening.

Continuing the Discussion
Parents and guardians should be prepared to continue discussing the process of death and the emotions involved with losing a loved one. Be sure to encourage children to express their thoughts and ask questions. Grief counseling can be an exceptional way for parents and children to explore these complex feelings in a healthy manner.

Your Funeral Director is an Invaluable Ally

Thu, 14 Mar 2024 21:32:46 GMT

You have an invaluable ally in your funeral director - someone who can dispense professional advice and technical guidance as well as provide emotional support.

Losing a loved one is always tough - and during your period of bereavement, you'll surely experience high emotions and ample stress. Compounding that stress is the sheer number of decisions that must be made during this season - decisions related to the death announcement, the burial, the estate, and so on.

During this difficult time, it is vital to have someone you can lean on. Hopefully, friends and family members will help to fill this role. With that said, you also have an invaluable ally in your funeral director - someone who can dispense professional advice and technical guidance as well as provide emotional support.

What makes funeral directors so invaluable is their fundamental unselfishness. Funeral directors give freely of themselves, typically making themselves available around the clock and allowing mourners to open up to them and to share their grief. This job is not only physically tiring, but also emotionally taxing.

In fact, most funeral directors live with a great deal of emotional stress - yet they willingly play through that stress to be there for mourners, to hold your hand and to listen as you share your sorrows and your burdens.

It is a line of work unlike any other, which is why many funeral directors don't consider it to be a conventional occupation at all - but rather, a true calling.

When a season of bereavement comes, make sure to lean on your funeral director, and to realize what an indispensable ally he or she really is.

What Items of the Deceased Should You Bring to Services for Sharing?

Thu, 14 Mar 2024 19:52:33 GMT

To make the service even more personal and meaningful, consider bringing some of the deceased's personal items or mementos to share with others.

Holding a memorial service or funeral for your loved one is an intimate and meaningful way to celebrate his or her life. It is also a powerful way to say goodbye and bring closure to their passing. To make the service even more personal and meaningful, consider bringing some of the deceased’s personal items or mementos to share with others.

These may include:

Photos of your loved one

Bring respectful photos and images of the deceased. You may add them to a photo display to share with everyone who has come to pay tribute. Consider photos of them at life benchmarks, such as a graduation or retirement ceremony. Also consider the everyday things they did that made people smile. Share photos of them being the special person they were and help everyone in attendance remember them in that same way.

Memorabilia

If your loved one was an avid fan of sports, music, literature, or any other following, consider bringing memorabilia that reflects this. If the deceased was a passionate football fan, bringing a jersey from their favorite team might be a good addition to the remembrance display.

Art Installation

A candle installation, a painting series, or a photo collection might be a powerful way to remember the deceased. Honoring them with items that were close to their heart, or are symbols of their life, can help to ease the process of saying goodbye.

Awards

If the deceased had earned awards or had been honored in any way, consider displaying their awards at the service. Such offerings will help enrich the display by illustrating some of their greatest strengths and achievements.

When bringing these items to share at the service, remember that the family of the deceased will most often take them back home. They are offerings you can present to the family that may ease the process and help them to remember their loved one in the best light possible.

How to Dress Appropriately for a Funeral Service

Thu, 14 Mar 2024 19:50:11 GMT

Funeral services are not events for attendees to attract attention, and it is respectful to keep attire as simple as possible.

Funerals are a way for the living to show respect for the deceased and to provide a place for mourning. Dressing for such an occasion is often one of the most important elements of funeral etiquette, and all attendees should know what to wear to meet the needs of the occasion in a tasteful manner.

Keep it Simple

Funeral services are not events for attendees to attract attention, and it is respectful to keep attire as simple as possible. It is imperative for guests to avoid wearing anything flashy - such as hats, jewelry or ostentatious clothing - as to not detract from the service. Women should take consideration to select a dress or outfit that follows a simple shape and is not too revealing.

Color

Black is a standard color for mourning, and is always the safest choice. However, neutral, darker colors are generally acceptable depending on the nature of the service. Men will typically wear black suits, black dress shoes and a white dress shirt adorned with a neutral tie. Women have the option to wear black dresses, as well as sensible, dark blouses and pants. Formal black shoes are standard for women attending funerals.

Presentation

It is imperative for all guests to make sure their outfits are clean pressed for a respectful presentation. Carefully select all pieces and have them dry cleaned for a crisp and conservative appearance.

Weather

It can be difficult to plan funeral services around the weather, which can present some clothing challenges for attendees - especially those at a gravesite burial. When needing to add coats and jackets - in rainy or cold weather - remember to keep a reserved appearance that is still comfortable. In hotter temperatures, guests should stray from revealing too much and opt for clothing that is made from lighter fabrics.

Announcing the Death of a Loved One

Thu, 14 Mar 2024 19:36:28 GMT

When a loved one dies, surviving family members are faced with many responsibilities - including the responsibility to alert other friends and family members as to what has happened. In the age of social media, making a death announcement is more complicated.

An important step is to enlist the help of a funeral home director. Make sure you get planning underway before making any sort of formal announcement about the location of the funeral or memorial service. Only publish the obituary once confirmation is received about availability of a church, funeral home, or other locations. In the obituary, you will want to specify the time and location of the memorial service, but before doing so it is critical to confirm the availability of the venue in question along with any necessary vendors, such as an officiant or caterer. This is something a funeral home director can assist with.

In addition, funeral home directors are skilled in sensitively, compassionately discussing matters related to death. During a season of grief, you may have a hard time articulating the passage of your loved one, but a funeral home director can be invaluable in helping you craft a message.

As for social media etiquette, the most important thing is to abstain from posting online until you have had a chance to speak directly with family members and other important people. Ensure that you make specific, one-on-one announcements before you make any kind of a more general update.

Telling others about the death of a loved one is never easy, but even so: following the right protocol is important. Speak with your funeral director about any questions.

Writing Thank You Notes after a Funeral

Thu, 14 Mar 2024 19:34:28 GMT

While it may be difficult to find the energy to write a thank you note after a funeral, doing so is an important way of acknowledging the love and kindness that friends and family members have shown you during this challenging period in your life.

The etiquette of acknowledgement is truly a very personal and individual matter.

While it may be difficult to find the energy to write a thank you note after a funeral, doing so is an important way of acknowledging the love and kindness that friends and family members have shown you during this challenging period in your life. There is no set deadline when it comes to sending out thank you cards, though getting them out within two to three weeks after the funeral is ideal.

Types of written acknowledgements commonly used.

For simplicity, there are many sympathy acknowledgement cards that are printed with verses appropriate for the given situation. Others may find that a blank note card is a great way to express thoughts, as the individuals can write special messages for each recipient. Individuals may also order formal, customized cards to make distribution easier, without taking away from sentiment. The funeral home can assist with these options.

Who should receive a thank you card?

Sending thank you notes to every attendant is not necessary, but it is important to formally acknowledge those who provided extra assistance or services throughout this period. For instance, those who have:

Sent or brought flowers
Made a donation to a charity in honor of your loved one
Sent personal letters of condolence
Provided assistance with food, children or running errands
Acted as Pallbearers
Musicians who performed at the funeral
Read at the service
Presided as clergy over the service

To make sure that you do not forget anyone during this chaotic time, you should keep a notepad and pen handy at all times. Do not rely on your memory to keep track of what people have done for you. If need be, you can assign a friend or family member to keep a record for you, to make the task more manageable.

By identifying floral tributes with information cards, the funeral home can be especially helpful when keeping track of who contributed. Digital photos of these arrangements can make for an easier reference at a later date as well.

When writing thank you notes, length is not important. Individuals will find that sending out short messages, rather than long letters, can be just as appropriate when acknowledging one for their kindness and respect.

Respecting the Family's Wishes: Understanding Attendance Matters

Thu, 14 Mar 2024 18:58:08 GMT

Although funeral services provide a time and place for individuals to show respect for lost loved ones, some guests may not be welcome.

"Dougster" was a common addition to Grandpa's group of friends, but his colorful languange (and the way he loudy used it despite the circumstance) always embarrassed Grandma. She just was not comfortable with his attendance at Grandpa's funeral.

Although funeral services provide a time and place for individuals to show respect for lost loved ones, some guests may not be welcome. Whether the deceased or the family wants to keep an individual from attending a service, it is important to express these desires in a clear, yet polite manner.

Consider a Private Service

Private services are common for families who want to remember the deceased in a comfortable space. When services are limited those who are not invited may feel hurt; however, it is important to consider whether certain guests will detract from the respectful intent of a service.

Those who are afraid outside guests will get in the way of proper grieving should consider having a private service. Private services are designed only for requested individuals and should not be considered as an attempt to bar someone from the event, but to simply maintain respect.

Announcing the Death

Typically, obituaries for individuals with private funeral services can list the events as such. Those who read of the death should take care to respect the wishes of the family to keep the event private.

Others may find that announcing the loss of a loved one is easier after the services are complete. By publishing an obituary after the funeral, individuals will still be made aware of the death. This option allows family members the proper time to grieve in private without interference from outside parties.

Hosting a Memorial Service

While funerals may be limited to a restricted attendance list, memorial services are an exceptional way to invite others to grieve the loss of a loved one. Memorial services can happen days or weeks after the funeral, which allows families flexibility when sharing this experience with others. If a memorial service is planned, it is appropriate to include this information in an obituary.

Why Do We Use Flowers at Funerals?

Thu, 14 Mar 2024 18:55:47 GMT

Flowers at funerals are no new idea, however, they have not always been used as decoration or as a symbol of sympathy and emotion.

Flowers at funerals are no new idea, as they have been found at ancient Neanderthal burial sites dating back to 60,000 B.C.E. Blossoms have been a crucial part of the funeral process for much of human history. However, they have not always been used as decoration or as a symbol of sympathy and emotion. Rather, their origin is much more practical.

Before embalming, which started in the 1800s, flowers were used to cover up some of the natural processes of the deceased. Ancient writings, as old as the Talmud, have referenced fragrant flowers, as well as spices, being used in such a manner.

In order to keep an inviting way for loved ones who wanted to personally say goodbye to the departed, flowers created a more welcoming environment. Flowers were readily available and naturally scented, making them an ideal alternative to perfumes.

In the Victorian era, the deceased was set out in the family's home for many days; large bouquets were used to maintain a fresh and welcoming atmosphere for visitors. Many of the shapes of funeral arrangements we see today originate from this period. The size, color, look, and even grandeur of the offerings were seen as an important way to pay tribute to the deceased.

While the historic use of flowers in funerals has changed, there are a few other key reasons why they are still an essential part of many burial rites. First, they are symbolic. After embalming became commonplace, flowers transformed into a symbol and took on many different forms, including the circular wreath, which reminded onlookers of eternal life.

From its original purpose of offering a fresh scent during funeral procedures, blossoms are modernly used to send messages of comfort to those who are mourning. Flowers also represent the character of the person who has passed. By incorporating them into the service, blossoms create a blissful environment for those who are saddened by the departure of their loved one.

Options for Pallbearer Gifts

Thu, 14 Mar 2024 18:52:54 GMT

Providing a gift is a great way to say "thank you" and allow pallbearers to commemorate their own experience in the service.

Although serving as a pallbearer is considered an honor by many, it is also important for surviving family members - specifically those arranging the funeral - to show their appreciation for the services these individuals provide. In some services, family members may fill this role if necessary, but most will ask close friends or congregation members to serve as active or honorary pallbearers. It is likely that those fulfilling this role may find the experience emotional, and it is important to respect this response.

Providing a gift is a great way to say "thank you" and allow pallbearers to commemorate their own experience in the service. Some ideas for pallbearer gifts include:

Framed Photographs of the Deceased

Individuals may select a uniform photograph placed in a nice silver frame to give to all pallbearers, as a way for them to capture the memory of their deceased loved one. If possible, some may choose to personalize each gift by providing each pallbearer with a unique framed photo that captures his or her relationship with the deceased.

Customized Tokens of Appreciation

Those who want to do something special for the pallbearers' service may choose to select a customized gift for each individual. Apart from photographs, these tokens of appreciation may include simple jewelry pieces, pressed flowers from the funeral or an inscribed memorial plaque. Some may even choose to gift something of the deceased that correlates to his or her relationship with the pallbearer, such as a book or music album.

Thank You Notes

Although it is customary for pallbearers to send thank you notes to the surviving members of the family, those planning the funeral can also consider writing a message to honor the service of these individuals. Thank you notes can be brief and only need to express gratitude for support and service during the funeral.

There is no standard for pallbearer gifts, but those who opt to provide them should make sure that the gesture is meaningful and honors the service - even if just a small token of gratitude.

How To Write a Eulogy

Thu, 14 Mar 2024 18:49:28 GMT

Although there are many spoken traditions in funeral service - such as the use of hymns or prayer - eulogies also play an important role in honoring the life of the deceased.

What is a Eulogy?
Although there are many spoken traditions in funeral services—such as the use of hymns or prayers—eulogies also play an important role in honoring the life of the deceased. Eulogies offer the speaker—and the audience—a chance to truly reflect on the departed and the memories shared with them.

Who Provides Eulogies?

Typically, eulogies are given by just one or two people who are chosen by surviving family members. Most eulogies are given by close relatives, children, friends or members of a congregation. When selecting an individual to give a eulogy, it is important to select someone who is close to the deceased and can offer genuine words on the individual’s life and memories.

How Can I Prepare for a Eulogy?

Those who are asked to deliver a eulogy may feel that there is a lot of pressure to deliver an exceptional speech. However, it is important to remember that this commemoration does not necessarily hold the speaker as the focus—as it is designed to honor the deceased. There are many ways to deliver a eulogy, and practice is recommended for those who are nervous about the speech.

It is recommended that in order to understand how their speech will play a part in the overall procession of the event, individuals speak with whoever is arranging the funeral service. Eulogies are typically brief, lasting only a few minutes.

Those preparing for a eulogy are encouraged to make an outline to deliver a smooth speech and to make sure to address the audience in order to connect with the entire crowd. Exploring a significant memory, even humorous or emotional, can be a great way to emphasize the personality and values of the deceased.

What If I Want to Give a Speech, But Was Not Asked to Give a Eulogy?

Wakes are more informal than funeral services and offer more time and flexibility for individuals to share their memories and well wishes with loved ones. While only one or two individuals may be asked to provide a eulogy at a funeral service, other loved ones may have a chance to deliver a speech at the wake.

Proper Etiquette in Responding to a Friend's Loss on Facebook

Thu, 14 Mar 2024 18:44:25 GMT

While you're scrolling through graduations, birthdays, anniversaries, engagements, and birth announcements, you may also come across posts expressing the loss of a family member or friend.

Social media has made it easier than ever to connect with people all over the world almost instantly. Facebook posts are a quick way to share the news with all of your connections at once. However, not all news is always good news. While you’re scrolling through graduations, birthdays, anniversaries, engagements, and birth announcements, you may also come across posts expressing the loss of a family member or friend.

Grief is something many people have trouble dealing with. What do you say to someone who has just lost a loved one? And more so, what is the appropriate response in an online environment?

First of all, simply acknowledging their loss is a good place to start. Click the "like” (or "sad”) button to let them know you’ve seen their post. They aren’t necessarily looking for everyone to comment, but just to know they’re not alone and others know what’s going on.

If you do leave a comment, make it brief yet thoughtful. Refrain from asking what happened or sharing your own stories of loss. Focus on them in their time of need. Show your sympathy through a simple statement such as:

"I’m so sorry for your loss."

"Your [mother/brother/aunt/friend] was a wonderful person, and s/he will be missed."

"Sending my condolences to you and your family."

Avoid messages such as "They’re in a better place now” or "Now they’re free from pain” – while true, they won’t necessarily make someone feel better. If it is someone you are close to, you may want to give them a call to follow up and see if there is anything you can do or anything they need.

Remember that loss is not a once-and-done event. Keep in touch and check in during the weeks and months to come to see how they’re doing and offer your support – even if it’s through a Facebook post.

How to Write an Obituary

Thu, 14 Mar 2024 18:40:27 GMT

An obituary may be the first and last time your loved one appears in the newspapers. Written by someone close to the deceased, it is an intimate perspective regarding what is memorable about a life.

How to Write an Obituary Step-By-Step
An obituary may be the first and last time your loved one appears in the newspapers. Written by someone close to the deceased, it is an intimate perspective regarding what is memorable about a life. You want to make sure the tribute does that person justice with what is, in effect, a brief biography.

We would like to help you accomplish that with this guide. Our aim is to allow you to create an obituary that is clear, colorful and concise, while keeping down the expense. Most newspapers charge for obituaries by the word or line, so keeping it a reasonable length makes economic sense.

Below, you will find a few essential and suggested points you may want to include. Most importantly, realize that this is only a guide. The obituary should reflect the wishes of those closest to the subject. Affectionate phrases can be used throughout the obituary, such as "beloved wife” or "devoted friend.” A favorite quotation or a few lines of poetry are often a nice addition. However, before it is published, remember to check all information with other family members.

Let’s take it step-by-step, and if you need more space, please use a separate sheet.

ANNOUNCEMENT:
Full name (including any nickname)

Age
Occupation
Day/Date
Place
Cause (Optional)

EXAMPLES:

John Mathew Doe, 86, of Kerrville, Texas, retired owner of Wolf Brand Products and entrepreneur, died Saturday, January 17, 2013, at Veterans Hospital, of complications following a stroke.
Mary Beth Smith, 71, of Junction, Texas, died Tuesday, February 1, 2013, at her home.

LIFE SUMMARY:

Birth date
Birth place
Parents’ names
Main places of residence
Schools attended
Military service
Achievements/awards
Memberships (church/civic/fraternal/clubs/sports associations)
Hobbies/interests/volunteering/community involvement
Anecdotes or recollections

SURVIVING FAMILY:

Spouse
Children
Parents
Grandchildren
Sisters/Brothers

SECONDARY FAMILY: (Optional) Secondary family members may be listed by relationship rather than name. You could mention, "Five grandchildren, three nieces,” for example. This will save space. A list of pallbearers is also sometimes included.

Grandparents
Great grandchildren
Aunts/Uncles
Cousins
Nieces/Nephews
Pets, often enormously important to owners, can also be mentioned.

SCHEDULES: (These include the funeral itself, vigils, prayer services, memorial gatherings, place of entombment and visitation information.)

Include these details on each:

Type of service
Time, day/date
Place

MEMORIALS: (Where people can make contributions or donations.)
EXAMPLES:

Memorial contributions may be made to…
The... Memorial has been established for those wishing to contribute.
Memorials may be made to the charity of your choice.
Remembrances may be made in the form desired by friends.

PHOTOS:

Include a photograph of the person, usually a clear and well-cropped headshot that will show up well in black and white. Be sure to send this photo to us as soon as possible via email, or you may bring your photo to us and we will scan it for you.

At the end of your tribute, you may wish to thank any people or groups for care given to the deceased. Obituaries are good opportunities for this sort of thank you.

FINAL STEPS:
Ask our staff about sending the tribute to newspapers in other cities where the deceased lived or worked.

Once the obituary is posted on our website, send a link to other family members and friends to make sure everyone is notified in a timely manner. Remember, if you have any problems writing the obituary, know that our staff stands ready to assist you with practical advice and professional help.

The aim is to make your obituary a lasting memorial worthy of a scrapbook – a tribute that gives family and friends something to be proud of long after the upheaval of loss.

Avoiding Cliché: How to Properly Express Your Sympathy

Thu, 14 Mar 2024 18:11:19 GMT

When a friend or loved one faces loss, it's both good and right to say something to them - to express sympathy and to offer support. Knowing what to say can be difficult, of course.

When a friend or loved one faces loss, it's important to say something to them—to express sympathy and to offer support. Knowing what to say can be difficult, of course. You want to be sensitive, heartfelt, and encouraging, but you also want to avoid clichés.

Saying something like "my thoughts and prayers are with you” or "I’m sorry for your loss” may be true, it may be well-intentioned, and it may even be well-received. For those who are looking for something a little bit more personal or eloquent, our best advice is to speak words of empathy and compassion, straight from the heart.

One particular suggestion? "Remember that we love and care about you.” The person who is in mourning may know this intellectually, but actually hearing it said out loud can be powerful—and there is nothing cliché about it. A similar sentiment is something like, "May you be comforted by the outpouring of love surrounding you.”

Also, remember that simplicity is usually the best policy—and that something very straightforward can be incredibly meaningful. "We will remember ____ in our hearts forever” is a wonderful affirmation that the deceased’s memory will linger and that the person mourning is not the only one committed to keeping that memory alive.

One more suggestion: "We send thoughts of peace and courage to you.” Those qualities can seem elusive during a season of mourning. So when you send them, they will surely be received with gratitude.

Speaking words of sympathy is an important way to console someone who is grieving—and you can do so simply and sincerely without reaching for the tried-and-true clichés.

When should I not attend a funeral?

Thu, 14 Mar 2024 18:03:22 GMT

Attending a funeral is usually a thoughtful gesture; however, in some specific and possibly unusual situations, it might be better to consider an alternative way of offering condolences.

Attending a funeral is usually a thoughtful gesture; however, in some specific and possibly unusual situations, it might be better to consider an alternative way of offering condolences.

Do not attend a funeral if you feel that your presence will in any way be offensive to family members or have a negative effect. Perhaps previous relationships or partnerships might play a role in your decision-making.

Do not attend a funeral if the service details provided a note that the ceremony is private or for family only. The deceased’s obituary, as well as shared information via social media, usually indicates this. You may also contact the service provider such as the funeral home, church, or cemetery for additional details.

Do not attend a funeral if the service location is simply geographically, logistically, or feasibly impossible to get to. Consider sending a meaningful floral offering, note, or letter that expresses your sympathy and desire to be there in person.

Do not attend a funeral if you feel as though the situation might be too emotionally challenging for you. Everyone goes through difficult times and funerals can take an emotional toll on individuals. Waiting to express your sympathies when it is a better time for you is acceptable. Sending a letter to friends or family members of the deceased is a lasting and memorable gesture.

The important thing to remember is that friends and families appreciate just about any effort made to celebrate and remember their loved one, be it a phone call, letter, or other act of sympathy.

How soon after a death can a cremation take place?

Thu, 14 Mar 2024 17:54:48 GMT

Many families may be expecting that a cremation can take place very quickly following the passing of a loved one. However, the process can take anywhere from a few days to several weeks.

The length of time and requirements necessary to conduct a cremation can be surprising to some people. In most states, anyone can plan for a burial and it can be done quickly following a death, but cremation is an involved process. The main reason is because once the deceased is cremated, this process can’t be reversed.

Because of this, most states have restrictions on how soon after a death the cremation can occur. Keep in mind that this process involves different agencies working together and cannot be expedited.

First, the doctor must sign and certify the cause of death and time of death electronically. State laws typically give doctors several days to complete this process. A permit for cremation cannot be granted without a death certificate being filed first.

Once the doctor has filed the death certificate, the medical examiner may also have to approve the cremation, which can take up to several more days.

While the funeral home is waiting for the death certificate they can begin working with the family, however. The next step is to get proper authorization to cremate. This must come from legal next of kin and he or she must sign the required documents before the cremation can take place.

Not just any family member can stand in as the legal next of kin. The decision to cremate must follow a legal chain of command. The first person who can make the decision is a legally surviving spouse. If there is no spouse, then the decision will likely need to be made by a majority of the surviving children. Ex-husbands or wives, partners, friends, or other relatives are typically not able to make this determination, even with a power of attorney.

Once all the appropriate paperwork has been signed the cremation can take place. It’s important to keep in mind though, that the cremation itself is still a process and takes several hours. In some areas, there may also be a waiting period to access the crematorium.

If you have any questions about what to expect, don’t hesitate to ask your funeral director.

What are Some Ways to Personalize the Funeral Procession to the Cemetery?

Thu, 14 Mar 2024 17:49:02 GMT

When a funeral moves from the site of the memorial service to the site of the burial, it's often necessary for mourners to pile into their vehicles and do a bit of traveling. This is what is known as the funeral procession.

When a funeral moves from the site of the memorial service to the site of the burial, it’s often necessary for mourners to pile into their vehicles and do a bit of traveling. This is what’s known as the funeral procession, and it’s an important part of traditional funeral services. In fact, there are even some customs and traditions concerning what order the vehicles go in.

You don’t have to adhere to such traditions if you don’t want to, of course, and even if you value the customs regarding the funeral procession, there are still some ways in which you can personalize it.

One simple option is to provide funeral attendees with some floral arrangements they can add to their vehicles—fastening them to the mirrors or the hood of the car. These can be a subtle way of distinguishing the cars in your funeral procession.

You can also consider the option of enlisting a special vehicle to lead the procession. For example, in more agrarian communities, the funeral procession is sometimes led by a horse or even a tractor. In a more metropolitan or suburban setting, a horse-drawn carriage can sometimes be employed. Fire trucks are sometimes chosen to lead the procession, and even something like a beloved fishing boat, when placed on a trailer, can be part of the lineup. And if your loved one was a bike enthusiast, motorcycle hearses are a popular option.

If geography permits, you might even direct the funeral procession on a brief, scenic detour—perhaps near a park, green area, or historic building that held some importance for the deceased.

There are a number of ways in which you can make the procession feel more personal. For some additional ideas, don’t hesitate to ask your funeral director, who will be happy to help however possible.